Disclaimer: I don't own PotC. I also will probably die as soon as my readers get their hands on me, so there's really no point in suing. Ha ha ha... Surprise?

Chapter Nine: Jessica Presents: The Facts of Life

It was only a few days to Port Royale and Commodore Norrington was feeling very good about everything.

It was a complete turn around, he realized with a bit of a smile, from the horrible day that had started the whole escapade in the first place. Back then – it seemed years, had it really only been a few weeks? – things had been looking decidedly sour, but now it was as though Lady Luck was finally smiling on him again: He'd defeated a horde of undead pirates, rescued a fair maiden not once, but twice, captured the villain, and, to top it all off, was now engaged to be married to the loveliest creature in the Caribbean.

He was still out a ship, but in light of his other recent achievements, Norrington thought this was an acceptable loss and one that would shortly be remedied if he had anything to say about it.

Whether or not Jessica was a pro or a con had fallen back into question now that she had rediscovered her boredom.

Oh, he was still adored the little thing, as much as it bothered him to admit it, but it was just…before it had seemed almost by accident, but now Norrington wasn't so sure. Each day, it seemed more and more as though Jessica was purposely trying to keep Norrington and Elizabeth apart. The other day when he had proposed they go for a turn around the deck with Elizabeth, Jessica had thrown a tantrum and demanded to stay indoors because she didn't want to get a sunburn.

Well, it was a little late for that. The minx's whole face was marred by a permanent blush. She'd completely ignored warnings from Governor Swann and himself on the count of wearing a hat and staying in the shade. So why was she only now being cautious? Maybe she had learned from the experience – she had spent a great deal of time complaining about how much her face hurt.

Somehow, Norrington doubted it. He had been eight at one point, after all, and he couldn't remember even one time he had been wise enough to learn the lesson the first time around. In fact, truth be told, he had gone out of his way to do things he shouldn't and make his governess turn purple with rage.

Huh.

The point still stood. Jessica was – he was sure of it now – purposely sabotaging him in his attempts to woo Elizabeth Swann. The only question was why.

"Jessica, are you ready for bed?" he called as he entered her room. "Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes!" she called from the chair by her bed. "I'm not tired, though. Do I really have to go to bed?"

"Only if you want to climb up the rigging with me tomorrow," Norrington said cleverly.

Jessica's eyes widened and she dove into bed. She had been bothering Norrington about going up the masts since the very first moment it had occurred to her to try. He had a vague notion that she would be terrified the moment she reached the top – probably before – but had decided that it was probably better to let her up and be scared than endure her whining the whole way to Port Royale.

"Good girl," he smiled, and then faltered. "Erm…Jessica, there's something I wanted to ask you. You see…well, it's rather difficult, but…"

My word, he hadn't been this nervous since he had proposed to Elizabeth in the first place.

"Have you been sabotaging my efforts to acquaint myself with Miss Swann?" he forced out.

Jessica stared up at him dumbly. It occurred to him that she probably didn't know what 'sabotage' and 'acquaint' meant.

"That is, have you been trying to, er, keep me and Miss Swann apart?" he tried. "Only, it seems that way, and –"

"Well, of course I have," Jessica said at once. "Wasn't I doing a good job?"

Norrington stared down at the eight year old in amazement, not sure he had heard correctly or not.

"Oh, no, you were doing a very good job," he assured her. "A very good job. It's just, well, why are you doing it?"

"You wanted me to, right?" Jessica asked in confusion. "'Lizabeth told me that you secretly didn't want to be around her that much only you were too nice to say so and I needed to be a good excuse for you. I understand 'cause that's how I feel sometimes when Beth asks to play with me at school. She's mean and ugly but the teacher says I should be nice to her anyway 'cause her parents are divorced and she's said 'cause of it. Are you parents divorced?"

How did she know the word 'divorce' and not 'sabotage'?

Never mind that, Elizabeth had asked her to…

Norrington cleared his throat, suddenly feeling very foolish and miserable. He sat there in dumb silence for a moment, pitying himself and wondering if things would ever get better or if he had been doomed the moment Elizabeth had fallen into the water.

Note to self: When proposing, choose spot safely away from cliffs, pirates, and blacksmiths.

"Why are you and 'Lizabeth getting married anyway?" Jessica asked suddenly. "She's supposed to get married to Will. You know, the funny looking man with the pointy sword?"

As though he could forget.

"What makes you say that, Jessica?" he asked, throat tight, expression pained.

"Well because they're always looking at each other with those googly eyes," she said. "And that's how the story's supposed to end, isn't it? The beautiful princess gets married to the knight in shining armor who rescues her from the evil villain!" Jessica sighed and batted her eyelashes.

"But…" Norrington protested childishly. "But that was me."

Jessica stared at him incredulously.

"Yeah, whatever," Jessica said. "All you did was chase her around the ocean in a big boat, and then make meany-face to her boyfriend. You're not the knight in shining armor. You're the villain."

Norrington made a tiny squeaking noise and stood abruptly. The cabin was suddenly very warm.

"We're still going to climb the rigging tomorrow, right?" Jessica called after him. "Right? Norrington?"

Oh Gods. He needed a drink.

A/N: It has been so long since my last update that you have probably forgotten EVERYTHING that has happened to far and have probably had to REREAD everything up to this point. For which I commend you. And thank you.

I'm sorry that I haven't updated until now. After the second movie, I lost a bit of my inspiration, and after the third movie, well, you saw how THAT turned out. It completely threw everything off. But now, long, long, long after I started this story, I've finally sat down and written some more. The sequel is still up in the air at the moment. I have to figure out how I'm going to work around the second and third movie. They will probably wind up being very AU if I do write them, just a heads up.

Well, I don't know what everyone's going to say, but I really hope you can forgive me for being a dunce and a coward and rediscover that tiny place in your heart that has been infested by a type of icky mold we call love. Is there still room for Jessica and me?