Watching Speed pace in circles was wearing on Eric's nerves. Ryan had gone into surgery about 45 minutes ago and Speed hadn't sat down since they'd kissed Ryan goodbye and walked into the waiting room. He knew that Speed was scared, hell Eric would be lying if he said he wasn't scared but he recognized that wearing a groove in the floor wouldn't do any good.

"Damn it, Speed, sit down, will ya? You're making me dizzy," Eric protested.

"I can't sit right now," the New Yorker argued.

"C'mon Tim, you can sit down. I'm doing it, see?" Eric asked pointing to himself.

"Maybe you can sit their calmly and read a magazine while our lover is having eye surgery that may or may not restore his sight but I can't! So I'm sorry if that bothers you!" Tim shouted. Spinning on his heels Speed stormed from the room leaving a shocked Eric in his wake.

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Horatio, Alexx, and Calleigh stopped in their tracks as they reached the waiting room with the cups of coffee they had procured when they saw the argument playing out in front of them. Alexx and Calleigh moved quickly to the side to keep from being knocked over by an angry Speed.

"Divide and conquer?" Calleigh asked a hint of a smile crossing her face.

"We'll take Speed you take Eric?" Alexx suggested.

"Sure, just get him back here, okay? They need each other no matter how tough and how big of a jackass Speed acts like he knows how much they need each other," Calleigh commented.

"We'll bring him back, you go take care of Eric," Horatio said as he took Alexx's arm and headed in the direction his trace expert had gone. Calleigh sighed as she headed into the waiting room two cups of coffee in her hands. She sank into the seat next to Eric and held out one of the cups.

"Thanks," he mumbled not looking at her.

"Your welcome, sweetie. So what happened?"

"I don't know, Speed was pacing in a never-ending circle and it was driving me crazy. I begged him to sit down and he argued that he couldn't. I teased him that it wasn't a hard thing to do and he turned on me and all but accused me of not being bothered about the fact that Ryan's in surgery that may or may not restore his sight," Eric explained.

"He's just worried and scared," Calleigh defended.

"I know, I am to, but did he have to accuse me of not caring?" Eric asked. He cursed the fact that his voice cracked with emotion. Taking the untouched cup of coffee from Eric's hands and setting it along with hers on the table she gathered her friend into a hug.

"You know how Tim is when he's stressed. He's easily irritated and has a tendency to snap without him meaning to. You know he loves you and Ryan and that you're his world," Calleigh reminded.

"Yeah I know, but it still hurts," Eric whispered. Calleigh could hear the barely suppressed tears in Eric's voice.

"I know it does, sweetheart."

"I'm just as scared as he is but I've gotta keep it together for him and Ry. Ryan's totally freaked out, and justifiably so. Speed's stoic as always," Eric broke off.

"And what are you?" Calleigh questioned.

"Scared, angry, and guilty," Eric admitted.

"I get scared, but why angry and guilty?" the blonde wondered.

"I'm angry because he got shot in the eye with a damn nail gun to begin with. I'm guilty because it was supposed to be my scene. I was supposed to be their but I was late again and it may have cost my lover his sight. It's my fault if Ryan goes blind!" Eric cried as the tight grip he had on his control snapped and tears flooded his eyes and ran unchecked down his cheeks. The ballistics expert could feel her heart breaking. She began rocking back and forth whispering nonsense in Eric's ear trying to calm him down. She was so focused on her task that she didn't realize someone else was in the room until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Jumping slightly Calleigh jerked her head up and found herself staring into Speed's soulful brown eyes.

"Hey mind if I take over now?" Speed softly asked.

"Sure not a problem, just remember he's just as scared as you are, okay?" Calleigh told him.

"I know, thanks for talking to him, Cal," he thanked her.

"It was no problem I'm sure Ryan will be out of surgery in no time. I'm going to leave you two alone for a bit. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," Eric said as he sniffled. Giving both men a hug she hurried for the hall where Alexx and Horatio were. Taking the seat Calleigh had previously been sitting in Speed reached out and pulled his lover into his arms and placed a kiss on the top of his head and just held him.

"I'm sorry," Speed apologized.

"Me, to," Eric replied. "Alexx and H knock some sense into you?" Eric asked cheekily.

"Yeah," Speed reluctantly admitted.

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The two "parents" of the team caught up with Speed outside the hospital. He was pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

"Drop it," Alexx demanded. Jumping, Speed did what he was told.

"Uh... hi?" he questioned.

"I thought you quit?" Alexx wanted to know.

"I did, but..." Speed broke off.

"What was that all about back there?" Horatio asked.

"Nothing," Speed answered shortly.

"Tim," Horatio said.

"I lost my temper and I didn't mean to. I know that Eric was trying to help but how can he just sit their and read a magazine as if we're not their for a life changing surgery?" Speed argued.

"Do you really think he was reading the magazine or that it was just a form of distraction for him?" Alexx asked.

"A distraction," Speed admitted.

"Exactly," Alexx said.

"I have some apologizing to do, don't I?" Speed questioned.

"Yes, you do. Here's some coffee to drink to help you do that," Horatio said handing him a cup.

"Thanks, I should go talk to him. Thanks for giving me a kick in the ass, I guess I needed it," Speed said ruefully.

"That's what we're here for," Alexx commented as she pulled him in for a hug. Speed smiled as he turned and headed for the door that would lead him back to his lover. Horatio and Alexx followed slightly behind him. Speed reached the waiting room just in time to hear Eric's declaration that it was his fault if Ryan went blind and to see him completely fall apart. Moving quickly he reached Calleigh and after assuring her he knew that Eric was just as scared as he was he took her place beside his lover and began comforting him.

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"You realize this isn't your fault, don't you?" Speed asked after a bit of silence.

"But..." Eric argued.

"Eric, look at me," Speed demanded. Slowly Eric lifted his eyes to meet Speed's.

"Even if you'd made it to the scene on time there's no way you could have stopped Ryan getting shot in the eye. If it hadn't been Ryan it would have been you and I would be sitting here trying to convince Ryan that it's not his fault that you may go blind. You understand me?" Speed asked gently.

"Yeah, I guess," Eric said.

"Good, I love you Eric," Speed said as he leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Eric's lips.

"Love you to," Eric replied, returning the kiss. Just then Dr. Medbey walked into the waiting room. Noticing the others hovering in the hall Speed motioned them in.

"How's Ryan?" Eric asked.

"He's okay, a bit out of it, but okay," she answered.

"Is there anyway to know how the surgery went?" Alexx questioned.

"No, it's too early to tell, but I'll be honest with you as much as I want to be optimistic about this I'm not sure. Best case scenario is that he maintains good vision in one eye, but we need to wait a couple of weeks before we know that," she informed the group.

"Does Ry know this?" Speed asked.

"Yes he does," the doctor said.

"Can we see him?" Eric requested.

"Sure he's in the third room on the left. I'll be back to check on him later. Ryan will be discharged sometime tomorrow morning," she said.

"Thank you," Eric said as he and Speed made their way to Ryan's room.

"We'll come in a little bit," Calleigh called after them. Speed raised a hand to acknowledge that he'd heard what she'd said. When they reached the door Eric gently knocked on it.

"Come in," came a sleepy voice.

Speed opened the door and the two of them walked in. Ryan was lying in the hospital bed with an IV in one arm and a nasal canula to help him breathe. Eric's heart sped up when he saw the nasal canula. The nurse who was taking Ryan's vitals noticed his anxious look and was quick to reassure him.

"Its standard procedure after a patient has been under anesthesia. We like to give them a bit of help breathing until the anesthesia is mostly out of their system."

"Oh, okay," Eric said relieved.

"Hey there, Ry, how you feeling?" Speed asked softly.

"Okay, I guess, really sleepy," he admitted.

"That's normal; all of your vitals look good Mr. Wolfe. I'll be back later to check on you," the nurse said.

"Thanks, Shelby," Ryan said. After giving the other two men a smile she quietly exited the room closing the door behind her. Moving over to their lover Speed and Eric each took a hand.

"Glad to see you awake, Ry," Eric told him.

"Yeah," Speed agreed.

"Where's the rest of the team?" Ryan wondered.

"In the waiting room they wanted to give us sometime with you alone Speed answered. Speed and Ryan chatted for a few minutes about nothing in particular when Ryan realized that Eric wasn't contributing to the conversation. He had a good idea what the problem was but he wasn't sure. Squeezing Speed's hand he jerked his head in Eric's direction. Recognizing what Ryan was requesting Speed stood up.

"I'm gonna go let the rest of the team know your doing okay. Is that alright with you Ryan?" he asked.

"Sure that's fine," Ryan said. After kissing Ryan's temple Speed made his way out the door and headed back to the rest of the team.

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"How's he doing?" Calleigh questioned when she saw Speed come around the corner.

"He's okay, really out of it, but okay," he informed them.

"Where's Eric?" Horatio wanted to know.

"Ryan's talking to him. Hopefully knocking some sense into that thick skull of his that none of this is his fault," Speed said.

"If anyone can, Ryan can, he's the only one I think Eric will listen to when it comes to this. He's the one who Eric thinks blames him even though Ryan doesn't," Alexx commented. The others nodded in agreement as they settled into seats in the waiting room to await Eric.

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Once the door was closed Ryan spoke.

"It's not your fault."

"Huh?" Eric asked.

"Don't play dumb with me, I may be blind soon but not dumb," Ryan said.

"Don't joke about that!" Eric snapped.

"If I don't joke about it, I freak out and have a panic attack," Ryan argued. Eric sighed he knew Ryan was right but he didn't have to like it. "But stop changing the subject it's not your fault."

"But I was---"Eric broke off when Ryan held up a hand.

"Yes you were late so I got their before you, but it could have just as easily been the other way around. We don't know what would have happened if you got their on time. The only person who is at fault here is the one who shot the nail gun. Not you, not me, not anyone else, you got me?" Ryan questioned. After taking in what Ryan had just said Eric realized he was right.

"I do, it's just hard not to feel guilty," Eric explained.

"I know it is," Ryan said softly.

"I love you so much, Ryan," Eric said, kissing him.

"I love you to," Ryan said through a yawn. Eric moved as if to stand.

"Were you goin?" Ryan mumbled.

"Leaving so you can get some rest," Eric told him.

"No, stay, please? Tell Speed the rest of the team can come in will you?" Ryan requested.

"Okay, but only if you close your eyes and rest," Eric bargained.

"Deal," Ryan agreed as he closed his eyes and let himself be pulled under.

TBC?

A/n, please read and review.