Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warning: slash, get over it, or get out. The rating is for safety, I really don't think it's necessary, but I'm being careful. Kooky POV.

Favorite Mistakes

Chapter 1

I wake up early, as I always do, and glance towards the clock out of habit. I don't register the numbers glowing a demonic red on the narrow screen, but I know it's 6:00 am exactly. I'm alone.

There's a snuffling snore from Peter's bed. I ignore it.

Of its own volition, my hand sneaks over to the empty indent left on the mattress, feeling the sheet. It's cold by now, of course. It always is.

I turn onto my side, facing the vacant side of the mattress, and close my eyes. If I can't see, I can imagine I'm not alone. In my mind's eye, I see fiery red hair and beautiful green eyes. Soft lips curl in a sweet smile. I smile back. I reach out to touch the silky hair. My fingers are met with nothing but air and the vision shatters. Something clenches in my chest, and I swallow the sudden lump in my throat, opening my eyes to… nothing.

My eyes sting and I close them again quickly. I rebuild my dream, remembering the dusting of freckles across the nose and the barely noticeable dimple next to the full rose-petal lips. I sigh, tempted to reach out again, but I don't.

Slowly, holding the dream close, I fall asleep once more.

– – – – –

"Hey! Evans!" the seventeen-year-old boy with hopelessly mussed black hair yells down the Gryffindor table. "Go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

"Not on your life, Potter!" the redheaded Lily Evans calls back, not even looking up from her breakfast. The girls around her giggle and bend closer to their own meals, whispering excitedly.

"Not bad, James," Remus Lupin tells the mussy-haired boy encouragingly.

James Potter glares at him.

Remus holds up his hands defensively, one still wrapped around his fork. "At least she didn't hex you, this time," he points out. "I'd say that's a step in the right direction."

James groans and drops his hazel gaze to his plate.

Sirius glances down the table at the redheaded girl, who looks in their direction at the same moment. Grey eyes meet green and Lily quirks an eyebrow at the black-haired boy before turning back to her friends. Sirius watches her for several more seconds then claps James heartily on the back. "Buck up, mate," he says cheerfully. "The day is young and Saturday is still three days away. There's hope yet."

James looks up, his glare back in place. "You don't believe a word of it," he snaps. "I can tell."

"I'm sure she'll go out with you," Peter Pettigrew soothes, mouth empty for the first time since the four boys sat down. He's in the process of re-filling his plate.

"Lies!" James exclaims dramatically. "All lies! Don't any of you respect me enough to tell me the truth?"

Remus, Sirius, and Peter all look at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"What?" James demands, scowling around at his three friends.

Peter instantly vanishes into his breakfast, leaving Remus and Sirius exchanging awkward looks.

"Well, if you want my honest opinion –" Sirius begins, but Remus cuts him off.

"She doesn't hate you as much as she used to," he tells his still-scowling friend, shooting a warning look at Sirius.

James's hazel eyes lock on Remus, desperate hope shining unconcealed on his face. "Really?" he asks, sounding a little choked.

A small half-smile twists one corner of Remus's mouth even as Sirius laughs – and hastily turns it into a cough. "Really," Remus assures his ever-optimistic friend.

"How can you be so sure?" James inquires, almost as if he doesn't want to hear the answer.

"Well, she's stopped hexing you quite so often since you made Head Boy," Remus points out. "She only does it now when you really deserve it. She usually acknowledges you when you address her, these days – and not in a particularly threatening way, either. She doesn't walk out of any room you walk into anymore. And, most importantly, I think…" He pauses for effect.

"Well?" James demands, right on cue, leaning in over the table towards Remus.

"Well," Remus continues, a hint of mischief in his eyes, "I was speaking with her the other day and your name happened to be mentioned." He pauses again.

"What did she say?" James is practically in his plate.

"She said," Remus's eyes flicker to the black-haired boy next to him before settling once more on the black-haired boy almost lying across the table, "that she doesn't hate you quite as much as she used to."

James sags onto the table, letting out a groan of exasperation.

Remus chuckles, looking somewhat pleased with himself.

Sirius lets out a short bark-like laugh then glances down the table at the redheaded girl once more. She is completely immersed in a discussion with the girls around her. Sirius quickly turns back to his own breakfast.

Remus nudges his shoulder against that of the grey-eyed boy next to him.

Sirius looks up at his friend, startled.

Remus grins. "I know it's hard, sometimes, but don't look so serious."

"Hard?" Sirius quirks an eyebrow suggestively. "I should say so. But with all these people around, I really can't do anything about it, can I?"

Remus snickers. "I haven't the foggiest idea what you mean," he says loftily.

"I was born Sirius," Sirius explains gravely, eyes laughing. "I can't just change how I look with all these people around. Think of the scandal it would cause! A black dog running around instead of a Black boy. Parents would be storming the school, demanding their children be returned before they, too, were turned into various and sundry canines. We'd be forced to explain that they'd be better off as canines, look what happened to Potter and Pettigrew! A horny ungulate (1) and a measly rat, how embarrassing would that be? Rats, well, you know, and stags? Dinner with legs." He shakes his head sadly. "To this day, I cannot eat venison stew without feeling a bit guilty."

A second, louder, groan emerges from the general direction of James, who is still sprawled across the table.

"Er, James?" Peter has emerged from his once more spotless plate. "Would you mind awfully moving? You're on the bacon."

In perfect unison, Remus and Sirius look at Peter, at James, at Peter again, then at each other before bursting into laughter.

– – – – –

Remus and Lily are sitting next to each other at the front of the classroom. They've been partners in Defense Against the Dark Arts since the beginning of the year, but, as the teacher has not yet arrived, they are still discussing their most recent Charms lesson.

Sirius and James, also partners, sit several rows behind them at the back of the room, watching as the prefect and the Head Girl tilt their heads together over their notes.

"You'd think, with the two of them being such grand friends, that Remus could convince her to go on one date with me," James grumbles to Sirius, but it is half-hearted. He knows Remus has tried, despite the risks to his own friendship with Lily Evans. Not that anyone can really stay angry with Remus for very long, he's just one of those people. But in a different way from Sirius, who is also 'just one of those people.'

"Looks like you're the one trying to think," Sirius replies. "Does it hurt much?"

"Prat." James swats Sirius across the back of the head.

Sirius laughs. "Maybe she has reasons for not going out with you that even our Moony can't overcome. You know, besides you being a – what was it she called you? – an arrogant, bullying toerag?" he smirks.

"Prat," James repeats himself, swatting the grey-eyed boy a bit harder.

Further violence is prevented by the arrival of the professor and the chatter of the students dies down.

Sirius's pointed smirk says to James, You know I'm right.

Maybe, but that doesn't mean I want to hear it, James's glare replies.

Then the lesson begins, and both boys let the conversation go, but they continue to sneak glances at the pair at the front of the room.

"You know James and Sirius keep looking at us," Remus comments to Lily under pretense of helping her to her feet after having knocked her over with a well-aimed nonverbal hex.

"What else is new?" the redheaded girl responds with a casual shrug. But she peeks over at the two black-haired boys, a curious frown etched between her brows.

Sirius, who is stealing a look at that moment, catches her looking back, and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily flushes and almost misses blocking the jinx Remus has aimed at her.

"Don't pay them any mind," Remus tells her. "You know it only encourages them."

"Right," Lily nods, but flashes another glance towards the back of the room anyway, to see Sirius still looking in their direction. "They're just so… distracting."

Remus glances over as well, and frowns at Sirius's antics. Then he grins. "Lils, watch this." He flicks his wand towards his friends.

A heartbeat later, both black-haired boys are on the ground, looking rather less than pleased.

Lily tries to muffle her laughter in her hands, but some of the sound escapes her.

Sirius and James both turn to glare at their prefect friend and the Head Girl.

Remus winks.

You're dead, Sirius's look promises.

Remus blows him a taunting kiss and turns back to his green-eyed partner. "They'll leave us alone," he informs her. "At least until the end of class."

She laughs freely this time. "We'll be ready for them," she replies.

The bell signaling the end of the lesson finally rings, and Sirius hastily packs away his things. Remus and Lily, much closer to the front of the room, have already disappeared.

Sirius is already in the doorway when James grabs his arm. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" he inquires.

Sirius glances up and down the corridor, but doesn't see what he's looking for. "No where," he says quickly. "It's nothing."

James frowns. "You've been rushing off to No Where, looking for Nothing, all day. Where is this special place you go to?"

"No where," Sirius insists. "Who said I go anywhere, anyway?"

"It's just…" James trails off, frowning more deeply. "Never mind." He shakes his head, slightly annoyed and slightly worried, but resigned. The look he gives Sirius says, Fine. Keep your secrets for now. I know you'll tell me when you're ready.

Sirius looks away. "Let's get some dinner, yeah?" He heads down the corridor without another word. There is no way he can talk to James about this. No way at all.

Within seconds, James is at his side. He is still slightly annoyed, and a little more than slightly worried, but still resigned to waiting, comfortable in the conviction that Sirius will share everything with him when the time is right.

– – – – –

I step out of the shower, brushing my hair out of my face, and realize there's no towel immediately to hand. I groan, kicking myself for being so distracted earlier – but really, who could blame me? – and cross the cold tiles quickly on my toes, thankful there's no one else around.

I grab a towel from the rack and hastily dry off, moving to stand in front of the bank of sinks and mirrors. Dry now, I wrap the towel around me and reach for my hairbrush. I contemplate my reflection for a long moment, considering my red hair and wondering whether or not I should cut it. I don't much like it long – however much certain others may appreciate it – because it gets in my way, but I've worn it short before, and I just look foolish.

Is anyone really happy with the way they look? I ask myself, meeting my own green eyes in the silvery glass. But as soon as the question crosses my mind, I think, He is. And no sooner has this confident conclusion been reached when his perfect reflection joins mine in the mirror, grey eyes alight with mischief. Purpose. Lust.

His arms wrap around my waist and he draws me back against him. "I've been dying to get you alone all day," he breathes against my ear before nipping gently at the lobe. "But every time I tried to sneak off, James wanted to know where I was going, and I certainly couldn't tell him the truth."

"Certainly not," I agree in a scratchy whisper, leaning back against his chest without any conscious decision to do so. Despite my body's reaction, I attempt to maintain some sort of control, I'm supposed to be the mature one, after all, and this sort of behavior should be frowned upon. "You're not supposed to be in here," I remind him, as if that would ever really be anything other than incentive for him to come. At his chuckle, I change tactics, for all the good it will do me. I'm curious, anyway. "How did you get in, anyway?"

"I am God," he says in a low rumble that vibrates through me, mouth and breath hot against my neck.

I scoff, or try to. It's hard to scoff when your legs will barely support your weight and all you want to do is moan and melt against the strong body holding you.

"Well, God," I say, sarcasm sounding more like breathlessness, "It's past curfew. You should be in bed."

"Not without you." His husky voice sends pleasant chills down my spine.

"Heaven forbid," I manage to get out.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" There's a slightly uncertain edge to his voice that I haven't heard in a long time. Not since we first became… whatever it is we are now.

I turn in his arms. "Of course," I assure him, understanding that this is a time for our games to be over and for us to both be serious. "Don't I always?"

But he's shaking his head. "I mean, stay through 'til morning. Don't sneak off before six and go sleep in you own bed. Stay with me." His arms tighten around me, as though to prevent me from leaving.

I stare up at him for a long moment, unsure what to say. I don't understand his behavior, he's never asked me to stay all night before, as if we were a real couple. That's not what this is about. That's never been what this is about. "I can't," I tell him at last. "We could get caught." He ought to know that. He does know that. What's he asking me to stay for, anyway? Why would he want me to stay? "Besides, what's the point in taking such a risk? We're not actually a couple. We don't need the closure of waking up together. This is just about sex, right?"

Some unknown emotion crosses his face and my gut wrenches. I don't know why I suddenly feel sick, as though I'd just lied to a best friend.

"Right," he says, voice tight. Then he smiles that smile that melts me and every girl I know faster than butter in the sun, and I convince myself the shadows in his eyes are figments of my stressed imagination – all the more reason to forget them and just get on with it, like we usually do. That's what this is about. Isn't it?

He kisses me on the mouth, soft, hot, drugging, deep, then slowly moves down my neck, trailing scorching kisses as he goes, careful not to leave any marks.

"Oh, God," I groan as his tongue teases the junction of neck and shoulder. I can't help it.

His low chuckle ripples across my skin, full of pleasure and pure, masculine pride. "I told you I was," he reminds me, and, at this moment, I can't help but wonder if maybe he had the right of it.

TBC

(1) 'ungulate' – a four-footed, hoofed mammal

A/N: Yes, I know I was supposed to update ToTP this weekend, but I've posted a couple ToTP side stories recently, and the fic itself is just not coming along at the moment, so I thought I'd post the first chapter of this new fic instead. I've been working on this since around the time I finished 'One-Night Stand' (which seems like years ago), but, obviously, haven't gotten very far. My brain seems to be on vacation, since the rest of me has to work until I return to school. Updates on my other fics (HLtW, ToTP, and RKoW) will be up whenever they get finished, as will more ToTP side stories. For now, I hope you like this. It's rather different from what I'm used to writing (not simply because the point of view is out of whack, for which I apologize, but cannot see getting much better any time soon), but hopefully it will turn out well. I do hope you will withhold judgment, especially if you feel confused but what's going on. It's meant to be confusing right now. If you are not confused, either you are brilliant, for which I commend you, or you are wrong, in which case I beg you not to lynch me until you at least know what is really going on and decide I still ought to be lynched. I do know what I'm doing. Sort of. I'm sorry for rambling, I have a tendency to do so, as anyone who has read my fics must know. So please, forgive the rambling and any confusion, and review!