Disclaimer: Sniff! I'm at the-sniff-end and it's still-sniff-not mine! If you have any ideas of torture or persuasion, tell me!
jacob love: I don't think you thought it through...see, if I die, how am I supposed to upload this chapter? hmm...? thanks 4 reviewing anyway lolx!
Team-chaser: You never fail to disappoint, my dear. Although, a very well controlled review, I must admit lol. And as for those aliens-thank u, i shall take it as a compliment! And please don't kill me with...lemonade bottles? thanks 4 reviewing lolx!
Sweet Christabel: Ah, but what if my crater hole is very, VERY well hidden? (especially as it's not actually in Hungary...) And thanks, I hope this one also meets to your satisfaction...and what exactly will save me, I have to ask? thanks 4 reviewing lolx!
The Third Demi-God: Finally, some empathy! And Kurtis wouldn't really steal all your Final Fantasies...my God, after stealing all your Sonic games, he'd have to leave you something! And I'm glad my story makes you fall off your chair a lot, as you apparently seem to enjoy it...thanks 4 reviewing lolx!
A/N See the end (or bottom, either)
Kurtis's POV
You know, all through my life, I have been surrounded by hormonal women! My mother was like this freaking hurricane at times! (but she lived with my father, so I guess she had some sort of excuse). There was my kindergarten teacher, Mrs Knight, who would seriously come in crying on some days. It was only after my first few Sex Ed classes that I began to understand why.
And don't even get me started on some of the women I've dated! Okay, to be fair, mostly I'm talking about were teenage girls, most of whom were so flattered I'd asked them out, it's only natural for them to get a bit emotional, but there have been some full grown women who have gone crying or all weird on me for no reason. But out of all those women (including a very tearful virgin who tried to claim I'd taken advantage of her!) none of them suffered as many mood swings as I've seen Lara go through! Seriously, it is like, one minute she's crying cos she can't do something alone, and the next she's all calm and kinda smug cos she knows something you don't. And the way she expects you to just 'drop it' is really starting to irritate me! That girl has had way too many servants in her life!
What's stupid is, cos of her lifestyle, I thought she'd have escaped this like she's escaped 'basic etiquette'. To tell you the truth, I'm a little disappointed. I really expected better of her.
Now, Anaya, she was never like that. No, you always knew where you stood with her. For the three months we dated, she didn't lose control or…she stayed the same. I swear, if it hadn't been for the tampons she once made me buy, I would have completely forgotten she had periods.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like she was this robot or something, who had like, no feelings whatsoever, she was just so much better at controlling them! And she was always smiling-that was the best bit about her, she always smiled. She had stresses, obviously, she was VP of her company, but she didn't let it get her down. She was the sorta person to try and enjoy life, y'know? Left her work at work and all that. It was only right before we broke up she changed…I'd just like to make it clear for those feminists out there who think I'm a sexist pig that she broke up with me.
I would have asked her to move in with me. Hell, I was gonna ask her to move in with me! Okay, strictly speaking, I didn't exactly have a place, but still! It would have been a step forward, and one of the few women I've wanted to do that with. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, seeing as I'm 30…okay, okay, 31!
I think that's one of the reasons I left Bolivia, actually. Cos we broke up. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't so pissed or immature I couldn't stand to be around her, I just felt it was time to move on. Besides, I had a friend to visit. And Lily inviting me over to England was just the extra push I needed. I thought 'to hell with it-there's nothing for me here, might as well move on'. Actually, if it hadn't been for Anaya, I'd have been gone way back! I had a little business to 'clear up' in La Paz. It was the same night I met her, actually.
I gotta be honest…I was a mercenary again back then. But I'd been planning to pack it in after this tragic case in the States, where the job went horribly wrong and we ended up having to slaughter the entire family instead of just the target! I swore to myself-and my boss-that I would never do it again. But then the bastard promised me great retirement cash if I sorted out this drug lord for him in Bolivia. I had nothing else to do, and I really needed the money, so I went for it. I'm not proud that I fell for it, believe me. What a bust it was-the guy wasn't a freaking drug lord! He was just some druggie who hadn't paid his bills, and it was the drug lord who wanted him dealt with! I was so disgusted with myself, I just-I hated myself when I realised what I'd done. If I'd been some TV hero, I'd have thrown the cheque back in the guy's face, but I really needed the money. I anonymously donated some of it to the bereaved family's fund, though-their son had been their only bacon-bringer. I neglected to tell them he was a junkie and could have afforded a much better lifestyle for them.
I did what almost every guy does-I went to the nearest bar to drown my sorrows…and well, let's just say I drowned a lot more than my sorrows. I won't go into detail, I've already said way too much. I'm not even gonna go into how I felt when I found out it had been her-
"Kurtis, will you grab the luggage, please?" Lara asks as she gets out.
"Whatever Her Majesty requests," I mutter sarcastically. She looks back at me, but I don't know if she heard me or not. Well, to hell with her if she did. I got more important things to worry about.
I do as I'm told, though, and when the cab driver opens up the trunk and reaches for the baggage, I stop him. "I got it," I tell him. I hand him his money (criminal charges, I gotta tell you! It would cost this much to get to JFK from Canada in the States!) with a tip (hell, it's on Lara's tab). He doesn't make any reaction, but just grabs the money and counts it, checking a note occasionally. "That good enough for you?" I say as he finishes.
"It was a pleasure doing business with you, sir," he says in a monotonous voice. Protocol, obviously.
"Glad it was for someone," I mumble and remove all the luggage, closing the trunk. The cabbie gets into his car and drives off, blowing exhaust fumes into my face. "Fantastic." I pick up our suitcases and head into the house.
I walk in to find Zip and Lara crouched down beside a chair, looking concerned. What's going on here? Someone whispers something. "Alister?" Lara prompts.
"Marina's…pregnant," Alister whispers. Ooh…that's bad timing. Zip looks like he's just seen a video of him making out with a girl and Lara looks like she's just seen her long-lost kid. Yeah, it's not that shocking, you know! It does happen!
Oh you're just pissed off.
"Oh, man, I'm sorry," Zip says after a long silence. No-one has noticed I'm here, listening in, yet. "But you know, sometimes, women do cheat. It's a basic flaw of their gender. That's why I go for the more admirable race." Jeez, he's really set himself new records!
"With my child, Zip," Alister clarifies.
"Oh," Zip says. "Oh!" Got there, did you?
"When did you find out?" our ever-inquiring Lara begins with. Like that matters!
"Yesterday," Alister replies quietly. "She just…rang me up, told me to meet her at the hospital and then she blurted it out."
"Well, what did she say?"
"Something along the lines of 'I'm pregnant'." I smirk. I didn't know he had sarcasm in him. She sighs.
"Well, what are you going to do? You've got loads to think about-is she going to keep it, does she want you to be involved-?"
"I don't bloody know what I'm going to do, Lara!" he snaps. "And you think I don't know I've got lots to think about?! I mean, how the hell am I supposed to react to this?!" No-one talks for several minutes.
"You could try turning gay," Zip mutters. We all look at him. "What, I'm serious! There have been many an old man turn gay cos he couldn't deal with the pregnancy of a younger woman!"
"Name one," Lara contradicts.
"Well…there would be Alister," he argues weakly.
"If this is just your way of trying to hint you're attracted to Alister-"
"Well, you gotta love the way he gets all stressed about things. It would be the funnest relationship I've been in," Zip smiles.
"I am here, you know!" Alister cuts in.
"Yep, we know." Alister does a load of dramatic hand gestures before crashing back down into the chair.
"Zip, could you please try to be serious for once?!" Lara scolds.
"What are you getting at me for?! He's the one who's got himself knocked up at 37!"
"Exactly!"
"I'm not-hey, Kurt," he greets, looking right at me. Lara turns back and notices me as well.
"How long have you been standing there?" she asks. I shrug.
"Do you want an exact time or would 'about five minutes' suffice?" She frowns at my sarcasm, but turns away and gives Alister her full attention again.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she says bravely.
"What's there to talk about? I already know what I've got to do-make a decision," Alister replies.
"Well, of course, but, you can talk to us, if you need to," she offers.
"Thanks, Lara, but I don't think you're the best person to talk to about their children," he says coldly. She flinches away and stands up like she's been shocked. What's the big deal? It's not like she has any!
"Um, I'm going up to bed," she announces after a moment's silence. "Jet lag." I raise my eyebrows. I gotta admit, I thought she'd fight back, but I guess he really hit a nerve. Even Zip is frowning at him. What is with these people and their little silences where someone says something and the other goes off? It's like a freaking soap opera!
"Dude, what the hell was that for?" Zip begins as soon as Lara's outta sight.
"What?"
"She was just trying to-"
"Yeah, well, you know what, I'm getting fed up of everyone just 'trying to'! Let me deal with this, all right?!" And-doing a very typical 'pissed off, I'm so troubled' walk, he walks out too.
Zip mutters something in reply, crashing down onto the couch, and picking up a magazine. "Hey, how was the trip, dude?" he asks me.
"It was a funeral."
"Okay, how was the funeral?" he corrects impatiently. I shake my head. "Oh don't walk out on me as well!"
"Sorry, man," I smile apologetically.
"I'll give you a beer?"
"Not everything is about goddamn beer!" I snap, feeling my emotions rise to the surface. He gives me an odd look.
"Who pinged your bra strap?" I hear him mutter as I go outside.
Zip's POV
Man, what's up with everyone today? The only person who hasn't yelled at me is Winston-and that's cos I haven't even seen him! Where did he go actually? I swear I haven't seen him since Lara left! Well, he always was very quiet…he's kinda easy to miss sometimes.
Oh, don't look at me like that, okay, I'm there when it's really important! Like that time Lara and Alister broke up-I was there, I comforted her, had a talk with him and everything. And I have been Lara's…confidante, if you will, for a while now. Like, if she needs one, I'm there.
I know what I said was inappropriate, it was a stupid thing to do and I wish I hadn't done it. But you gotta admit, it was a little funny. I guess I'm just not used to seeing Alister in a crisis, you know. I mean, getting his girlfriend of, like, five weeks, pregnant after only their first time of sleeping together? That's just a classic!
She's gonna get an abortion, you just know it. You can see it a mile off. She's what, in her twenties, probably has only just really started her career as a nurse, and she finds herself pregnant with a 40 year old as the father? What would you do in her situation? I just hope Alister hasn't grown on fatherhood-I would hate to see him broken like that. Take it from me, it hurts when that happens. And you can quit giving me the third degree with your eyes, cos I'm not saying anymore.
"Alister?" I say quietly outside his door. I hear a grunt and take this as a cue to go inside. "You okay, man?"
"Never better," he mumbles.
"I'm serious, dude. Are you okay?"
"My girlfriend's pregnant and I'm 37-what's there not to be okay about?"
"Well, everything you just said," I state obviously, sitting down on his bed next to him. I kinda half expected him to be standing up looking out the window, with his hands behind his back, like a professor waiting for the bad kid to come in. He's hugging his knees to his chest and looks so freaked-it's kinda cute, actually. It just makes you wanna hug him like you would a little kid and tell him it'll all be okay.
"There's not much I can do about the age," he points out.
"No," I agree. "But there is with the pregnancy thing."
"What can I do?" he asks desperately. "It's her body-it's up to her what she wants to do."
"What, so if she decided to get an abortion, you'd be cool with it?"
"It's her body," he repeats.
"And I'm asking, how would you feel if she did get an abortion?" He shrugs.
"I don't know. Relieved, I suppose."
"Really?"
"Yes," he says obviously. "I'm not ready to be a father!" he bursts out. I nod. He gets up and starts pacing nervously.
"Do you want to be a father?"
"What sort of question is that?"
"I'm just saying, you're getting old, this could be your last chance."
"Why thank you for that confidence-boosting comment, Zip."
"Sorry," I smile, but he's not even looking.
"No," he says after a long silence.
"No what?"
"No, I don't want her to have an abortion," he admits. "I don't feel ready to be a father, either, but I'd get used to it." I don't say anything. What can you say? "I've thought about it, and…well, look it doesn't matter how I feel, does it? It's her body, so if she wants to get an abortion, then, I won't stand in the way."
"It might be her body," I begin. "But it's your baby. You have some rights, you know."
"Well, I got her into this mess, so I should help her get out of it," he argues feebly.
"What if that means by telling her you'll support her?"
"I am!"
"I meant if she kept the baby," I explain.
"But it's not as simple as that, is it? All right, say she keeps the baby, then what? What when it's born? Who'll look after it, and when? There's so much to think about! If she keeps this child, I'd probably have to move out into her flat!"
"She could move in here," I suggest.
"Oh yeah. I'll just go up to Lara and say 'oh, by the way, can the mother of my child-you know, the one I technically cheated on with you-move in with our screaming baby? Thanks, you're the best!'"
"Well not if you say it like that," I mumble.
"And besides that, am I ready for a proper relationship with her? What we've been doing so far, we've just been fooling around. We only slept together twice!"
"Well, be that-twice? I thought it was only once?" I say confusedly. He shakes his head. "Huh," I mutter thoughtfully. "Anyway, be that as it may, you're right, that is one of the most important questions you gotta ask yourself; are you ready for a relationship with her?" He gives me an odd look. "Cos that's what it would mean, you said so yourself." He doesn't say anything, but keeps giving me odd looks. Yeah, I can give advice!
"Okay," I begin again. "What you gotta ask yourself is, which would you prefer? A commitment to mother and child…or none, cos if you don't get committed to her, that's probably what it would result in."
"Not necessarily," he says desperately. "We could share custody."
"Of course you could," I agree. "But she's about to be a mother for the first time-do you really think she'd accept that? You don't even know if she wants to keep this baby!"
"I-she does!" he argues. I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "Well, at least I think she does. I mean, be fair, if she really didn't want this baby, she wouldn't have told me about it, would she? There must be a small part of her that wants to keep it if she's told me."
"Do you want her to keep it?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Dude, it's cool if you're not sure yet, but don't leave it too long, you know? Did she say anything else?"
"Like what?"
"Like-if you don't get involved, she'll definitely have an abortion, or when you need to answer her?"
"She said I could be as involved as I wanted and to take my time." I nod. Smooth answer, I gotta admit, Marina. That's so the line to use if you want it, cos it makes the guys think that it was all their idea!
"Okay then," I nod. I get up.
"Where are you going?"
"Dude, as much as I'd love to make this decision for you, this is something you gotta do on your own."
"I know that, I just-it doesn't matter," he says shiftily.
"I mean, I can stay and we can talk about it some more if you want?" I offer. He shakes his head.
"Thanks, Zip, but you've done more than enough," he smiles. "It's a bit clearer now."
"Cool-catch you later, dude."
"Hey, Lara," I greet. Like I thought, she's not in bed at all. Come on, it wouldn't take a blind and deaf person to not see through it! You could practically smell the tension…no, that's taste. Oh, whatever! But just in case, I did give her a few hour's grace.
"Afternoon, Zip," she smiles. She's sitting on her sofa, hugging her knees to her chest like Alister. It's kinda uncanny actually-except I'm guessing she hasn't been like this since she got here like poor Alister was.
"How you doing?"
"Fine," she nods. "It's good to be back."
"What, even with all this drama?" She snorts.
"You should have been in Bolivia," she mutters.
"Yeah, how was that, anyway?"
"Well, it was a funeral," she replies, quoting Kurt almost word for word. "It was very…" her voice trails off.
"Did you get to say goodbye?" I ask. She nods.
"Yes."
"Then that's what matters, right?" She shrugs.
"I saw…Amanda there," she says quietly. Ooh, that's bad.
"Yeah, about that-the police records say-"
"I don't want to know," she interrupts. I nod. "I-I also saw Lily." Lily, Lily-Lily! Oh, I remember!
"Oh…well how do you feel about that?"
"I really couldn't say," she says, half-smiling. "How would you feel?"
"Well, a little shocked, I guess...maybe a little guilty cos of-hey, hey, come on!" God, I never meant to get her crying! I sit down beside her and pull her into my arms, but she pushes away and stands up.
"Sorry," she mutters, grabbing a tissue. "My emotions have been on top of me lately."
"Well you were due," I point out.
"What's happening to me, Zip?" she bursts out suddenly. "Why, in these past four months, has everything come crashing down on me? My mother, Lily, the coma I was probably due a long time ago, Anaya, even Alister! We went from being best friends to lovers to people who can't even be in the same room as each other! Where's the logic in that, Zip? Where's the justice that they should come to haunt me at once?"
"Hey, they only need to haunt you if you let them," I say comfortingly, but I don't go near her. She's holding her palm up to me.
"Well, then why am I letting them? A few years ago, they wouldn't have bothered me, I'd have just swept them under the carpet!"
"Cos it's all happening at once," I explain. "You're gonna feel overwhelmed."
"What should I do? If you care to remember, Zip, I tried to commit suicide not too long ago because it got too much! And that was with half the problems! What am I going to do next?! Why can't I deal with this?!"
"You're not used to it, Lara, you usually just ignore them. You're just not familiar with facing your demons! And that is a hell of a lot happened."
"I want to move on from this, Zip-all of it," she tells me. "You're right, I'm not accustomed to this, and I'm sick of it! I just-I have to focus on my mother!"
"So do that."
"And what about the rest?"
"The Alister thing was always gonna be awkward, but you guys are best friends, you'll get over it. Anaya-I'm sorry, but it's over now. There's no more you can do. The coma's over, too, you're recovering and gaining strength all the time. Your mother's the one you're focusing on and..." I break off.
"And Lily?"
"Yeah, I can't help you there," I say apologetically. "I don't really know the full story about what's going on between you guys."
"What more is there to know?" she says sceptically. "She's-oh God, I never told you, did I?" she whispers to herself.
"Told me what?" She shakes her head. "No, tell me," I persuade her gently. "I'm a good listener."
"I know that much," she smiles. "But are you sure you want to remain my agony aunt, because I think this oversteps the mark."
"Then why am I still here?" I point out.
"You haven't heard it yet," she warns me. I give her my most pleading look, but she just gives me that 'seriously' look of hers she does so well.
"I've gotta learn that doesn't work on you," I make a note to myself, making her laugh a little. "Hey, I got you laughing look."
"Oh, Zip, I'm laughing at the ridiculous irony of the situation."
"What?" I ask interestedly. She stops and looks at me, looking all serious. You know in TV movies and soap operas, whenever the dude gives 'em that look, you just know something big is gonna be dropped on the poor arsehole who's listening. And with the way everything's been going lately-or just Lara's life in general-I have no doubt, and am strangely scared, that this is gonna be no exception.
She takes a deep breath, and for a moment I wanna stop her, but then I kick myself. Whatever it is, it can't be too terrible, right? I mean, honestly how many more skeletons can this woman have? It can't be anything I haven't seen before.
"Lily's my daughter, Zip," she says quietly.
Lara's POV
"Lily's my daughter, Zip," I confess, feeling as though a huge lead weight has been lifted off my chest. "And Rutland's the father." This will sound stupid, but I actually feel like I can breathe freer, having let it out. It's not the same story for poor Zip, though.
For a moment he makes no movement, staring at me with wide eyes as I anticipated. I think about going on-I had a whole speech planned-but one glance at his shocked expression stops me. This is hard enough to digest clearly, I think hearing the rest would result in his heart attack! "Zip?"
"How-what, how?" he babbles. "How do you know?" I shake my head.
"I don't really," I admit. "But…it adds up. She's from New York, which is where her adoptive parents took her to live. She's the right age, she…she even has my bloody eyes! And then there's her name-I know for a fact her adoptive parents called her Lily."
"That's not a lot to go on," he says cautiously. Best to be cautious, he is treading on very thin ice here!
"But even with all that aside, I just-I just know, Zip. I may not have raised her, but that maternal instinct never goes away, clearly. I look at her, and…I actually see a bit of myself in her." He doesn't say anything. "Besides, why would someone lie about this? What could they possibly gain by telling me they were my long-lost daughter?"
"Your money?"
"Then why persist it when I told her I wanted nothing to do with her?" I contradict. "Those who knew me-and they'd have to know me bloody well to know I even had a daughter!-would know that when my mind's made up, it's made up. Only very exceptional cases could cause me to change it."
"Such as a long-lost daughter?" he suggests, almost sarcastically.
"What are you saying?" I whisper dangerously.
"Oh, come on, Lara, just look at the evidence! There's not enough to go on!"
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"What, no, no!"
"Gullible?"
"Lara, I'm not saying that, okay, but come on, you are kinda being taken for a ride here! Don't you think it a teensy bit suspicious that it just happens to be Rutland, a sworn enemy who's claiming to be her father? Did you ever actually take a test?"
"There was no need, I didn't-"
"Don't you think it's a little coincidental that like, one week, after the Bolivia fiasco, some girl claiming to be yours and Rutland's daughter comes knocking at the door?" he continues.
"Well what would there be to be achieved from it?" I argue.
"Revenge? Hoping you'll give up Excalibur because of it? I dunno, Lara, but sometimes you don't need a reason to do these things-there are just some people out there who-"
"How could Rutland have possibly known if he wasn't the father?" I point out. He looks thoughtful for a minute, but then pipes up;
"Amanda. I take it she knew, right?" Yes, she knew. She was there when…oh God…is he right? "Lara, I'm sorry, I know it's insensitive of me but I don't wanna see you get hurt."
"I'm not hurt," I say half-laughingly. "I never wanted anything to do with her anyway. It's actually quite a relief." I look into his face to see his reaction. He looks surprised, but also like 'right. Okay.'
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely!" I smile. "Thank you so much, Zip-you've just saved me bloody months of agonising over this. Imagine if I'd never figured it out myself-who knows what would have happened!"
"Well, I'm glad I could help?" he says uncertainly.
"You did," I say surely. He nods.
"Okay, then," he announces, clapping his hands together. "Would it be inappropriate if I offered you a beer?" I smile.
"Not at all," I tell him. "Just give me a second. I just want to get changed." He nods, and shoots me a smile as he exits, which I return. When he's gone, I exhale deeply, in a loud sigh. I shake my head to rid myself of the lightheadedness and head to my wardrobe. It's so good to be home.
Alister comes down about half an hour later, just as Zip and I are in a rather uncontrollable fit of giggles….over him, actually. We try to clam up as we see him approach, and I try my hardest not to look at him, because I know if I do, I'll just burst out laughing again. I see out of the corner of my eye Zip is starting to shake and it takes all my self control not to follow suit. I plant a big smile on my face to conceal the laughter.
"All right, Alister?" I ask, desperately attempting to sound innocent.
"Much better, thank you," he replies politely. That does it-before we can stop ourselves, Zip and me have burst into giggles again. We were just talking about the time Alister was in prison and coming up with some rather…far-fetched theories, shall we say? "What's so funny?"
"Nothing," I say unconvincingly. "It's not actually that funny," I add, pulling a straight face. Zip doesn't have so much luck.
"Where are you going, dude?" he asks in an attempt to calm down.
"The hospital-to see Marina." I stop smiling, as does Zip. Well, at least it was effective even if quite cold. "What you said to me earlier really made sense, Zip. Thank you."
"Any time, dude," Zip says, standing up and hugging him. "Have you…you know, decided?" Alister only nods. "Good luck, buddy." He hugs him again and pats him on the shoulder, which Alister returns.
Just as Alister is about to leave, he turns and looks straight at me, almost expectantly, as if he's waiting for something. Well, what does he want me to do, beg him not to? Give him my blessing?
"Take care," is all I say.
"I will." He smiles at Zip one last time and goes out the door. "I hope you made the right choice," I utter quietly.
"What was that?" Zip asks.
"Nothing!" I lie.
"Are you okay, Lara?"
"I'm fine-so, come on, is this all you've got, because I'm really in the mood for something stronger!"
"Uh, I got some Chardonnay-rumour has it you get a little crazy on that." I smile at the memory.
"Perfect!" I say, holding out my glass. He goes to the mini bar and pulls out a bottle of Chardonnay. It's really quite convenient I have several mini bars as well as a wine cellar, really.
"Why, thank you, sir," I joke in an over-the-top posh voice as he hands me my drink.
"That's quite all right, ma'am," he plays along. He takes a seat next to me.
"So what were you saying?" I ask. He frowns in confusion. "About Alister?"
"Oh, my theory!" he realises. I nod. "Well, it's kinda like this. I think he was approached by some guy who asks him to 'look after' something. Now, Alister being Alister, agrees without question. So, when the cops arrive, he's all 'oh yeah, it's right through here. They discover it's drugs and arrest him on the spot. It's genius!"
"Yes, but he was raised in south London," I point out.
"So?"
"So he wouldn't be that gullible. And he'd probably have recognised them as drugs from the start, you know, Alister being Alister."
"Yeah," Zip nods. "If it was Amsterdam, he probably got himself a little drugs manual in case such a thing happened." I giggle at this.
"Most probably." I finish off my Chardonnay. "Where was it he was in prison, anyway?"
"I'm not sure," Zip replies, getting us both refills. "But I got really bored one day while you were in Bolivia, so…" he hands me my drink and continues; "I did a check."
"You didn't?" I giggle. He nods.
"Damn straight. I don't know what his crime was, but I do know he wasn't imprisoned within the UK-or Ireland."
"So it was abroad, then?"
"It musta been. If it'd been in this country, trust me, I'd know by now."
"God," I muse. "In a way that's worse."
"Why?"
"I don't know," I admit. "It just seems much more sinister to be imprisoned in a foreign country. You've seen Bridget Jones, right?"
"I try not to," he smirks.
"Piss off, that's one of my favourite films!" He shrugs. "Anyway, when she was in Bangkok, she was arrested, and-not that I'd know, of course-but it looked much more horrible than a British prison."
"How would you know?" Zip asks curiously.
"So, do you have any more theories?" I change the subject.
"No, hey, come on, don't dodge the question!" he whines. "Come on, I'm sure you got plenty of friends inside…or does Lara have another little skeleton in her closet."
"I'm definitely drunk," I sigh. "Don't you dare ever tell anyone." He leans in interestedly. "But I was actually held for one night when I was eighteen!"
"No shit!" he laughs. "What did you do?"
"Oh, nothing!" I scold, knowing he must be imagining the worst possible. "I just got a little…rowdy, if you will. I'd had a bit too much to drink."
"I'm disappointed in you, Lara," he tuts. "Aren't you supposed to be a little too studious to be getting pissed?"
"You sound exactly like my father," I smile. "With a…swear word or two missed out." He raises his eyebrows. "That's why I calmed down before I went to University. It never occurred to me it would be even worse there! From what my father had told me, it was lots of very boring people doing very boring things." Zip frowns.
"What, did he go to…?" He stops. "I actually can't think of anywhere…got it! What, was he home-schooled?" I raise my eyebrows. "I don't know."
"Actually, he was, pretty much," I reply. "He'd never been as 'privileged' as my Uncle Errol-he went off to boarding school, but he came back with such tales, they didn't think it would be appropriate for my father to go, as well. You could say Uni was his first time being taught away from home-hell, it was! He never even attended a local school or anything, so I suppose he could be forgiven for not having much of a social life at Uni."
"Nor you, apparently," he teases. I throw him a look and he shuts up.
"At least I went," I mutter.
"So did I!" he protests.
"Half a semester doesn't count!" He frowns.
"Why not?" I just shake my head, laughing. "Hey, Kurt."
"Oh, hello, Kurtis," I greet cheerfully.
"It's nice to see you looking so relaxed for once," is all he replies.
"It's nice to be so relaxed for once," I smile. "Chardonnay?"
"No thanks, I'd hate to ruin your good mood that comes like, every decade!" he spits.
"Then I may as well warn you, the only thing that has any risk of spoiling it is you right now! Why are you being so moody?"
"Yeah, cos you're always acting like you're high!"
"Did I miss something here?"
"Join the club," Zip mutters.
"Because you are acting like a complete prick!" I continue, acting as though Zip had not spoken. But he has got a point.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you?" he says sarcastically.
"I don't know about me, but I've obviously done something awful to you!"
"Not everything is about you!" he literally yells. "Just cos you're permanently PMSing doesn't mean the fucking world revolves around you!" As I stand there speechless, his face softens. "I'm sorry," he says genuinely. "That was out of line."
"Just a bit," I agree quietly.
"Look, I'm just a little upset now, okay-"
"About Anaya?" He pauses, then nods. "I understand."
"No disrespect, Lara, but like hell you do."
"She was my best friend-"
"That's what you say about everybody! I loved her! I was gonna ask her to move in with me! And then she dumped me for no reason, and now she's dead! So if you can relate to that, then, please, tell us all, cos I am tired of feeling like the only one who's grieving here!"
"You're not-"
"You don't look exactly cut up," he mutters, looking at the bottle of Chardonnay. "What was it you were saying at the funeral? How much you hated being the only one who remembered it was a wake? Well, look at you, now."
"I'm not going to apologise for that, Kurtis."
"And I'm not asking you to."
"Then what are you asking of me?" I have to ask.
"Nothing," he says. "Nothing." As we stand opposite each other and I'm looking at him, it's as if, for the first time, I can see him…and the pain he must be going through. I won't deny I was surprised when he told me he'd gone out with Anaya. It was just more…the coincidence of the situation, I suppose, than that they wouldn't make good matches, because now I think about it, I can see why they were attracted to each other…they made much more sense than Kurtis and me, or Alister and me or…me and anyone…
"I'm going," Kurtis mutters.
"What?" I ask, snapping back to reality.
"I'm sorry, Lara," he smiles apologetically.
"You're only leaving the room, Kurtis-you don't need to apologise!" I laugh. But as I look at his face, I realise he means much more than simply leaving the room. "Oh," is all I utter.
"Don't get me wrong, I've had a good time here," he adds hastily. "I just-I need to move on. I'm just like that, I can't stand to be in one place for too long. You understand." Well, no, not really. I may travel a lot but I always have one home to return to. I just nod in reply.
"Dude, what are you talking about?" Zip cuts in. We both jump-I completely forgot Zip was here, he's been so quiet!
"It's been great getting to know you guys, but-"
"You're not going straight away, are you?" I ask worriedly, though I don't know why. He nods.
"What do you think I've been doing for the last half-hour?"
"Packing?" I realise.
"Sorta," he replies. "Most of it was already done from Bolivia. I was getting my plane ticket sorted."
"Aw, that sucks, man," Zip says, taking Kurtis into a hug. "We're really gonna miss you around here."
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find another cool guy," Kurtis says consolingly.
"It won't be the same," Zip whines. Kurtis just smiles.
"Where are you going?" I interrupt.
"New York," he replies. "I got some friends out there. I'm gonna crash with her for a while."
"Her?" Why does this bother me so much?! It's not as if I'm jealous! I just wish he'd given me a bit more bloody notice!
"Okay, I haven't told her that yet," he smirks. "But hey, you put me up, and I've known her a little longer, so…" His voice trails off. I barely even notice.
"When do you leave?" I ask as nonchalantly as I can possibly manage.
"Well, right now." I nod.
"Have a safe trip," I mumble.
"Thanks." He comes up to me and gives me a look that tells me he's angling for a hug. I grant him one, but it's forced.
"Stay in touch," I tell him.
"I intend to-you didn't think you'd get rid of my annoying voice so easy, right?"
"Of course not," I smile, which he returns. Then he turns and picks up his hold all.
"Dude, no way is that gonna go on your bike," Zip laughs.
"That's why I got a cab."
"To the airport?"
"To the train station in town," Kurtis smirks. "As for the bike, well, I only hired it. I returned it before I went to Bolivia." So he knew he was leaving all along, did he?
A loud horn beeps from outside. Through the window I spot a black cab just pulled up outside. "I guess that's me," Kurtis says. Zip goes in for one last hug-quite a forceful one!-and knocks Kurtis off balance! He pats Zip on the back. "I'll catch you later, dude."
"Yeah." Poor Zip-I think he's taking this harder than I am!
Well, he would, because you're not taking this hard at all.
Right…of course not.
"Goodbye, then, I suppose," I say to Kurtis. "It's been nice having you here."
"It's been great being here." The horn beeps impatiently. "Guess I gotta go. Say goodbye to Alister for me, okay?" With one last look at me, he retrieves his bag and walks outside, closing the door behind him. As I hear the taxi pull away a couple of minutes later, I can't help but mutter;
"And there goes another chapter of my life."
"How's that?" Zip asks.
"Nothing," I lie. "Nothing at all." I turn to face him and head to the gym.
"Lara, are you okay?" I stop.
"Zip, I'm tired of lies, I'm sick of pretending, I don't want to do that anymore," I admit. "So no, I'm not okay." I feel like I've…lost it all. My friend, my daughter and now Kurtis. Would you be all right?
Changing my mind, I turn away from the gym and walk to the door. I need some air.
Zip's POV
Well, I wasn't expecting that, I gotta admit! Kurt hid his plans pretty well. It's a real shame he's leaving-left-he's cool. And I think he did Lara real good…you know, aside from the Alister thing.
She's not taking it well. Well, you heard her. She admitted herself she wasn't okay. I think he meant a little more to her than she let on, you know. I don't know what went on between them last year, but it musta been pretty big.
I think about following her, but what good would it do? She wouldn't tell me anything unless she was ready-or even wanted to-and have you ever tried forcing it out of her? I never did personally, but apparently one person who did…let's just say he wasn't so keen about her after that. I'm not gonna risk it-I'm way too pretty. Besides, you know, she must be used to dealing with these losses. She deals with them in her own way, and it doesn't usually involve talking to people about it. I think Alister was the one exception…since I've known her, anyway.
"Has everyone gone?" a raspy voice asks behind me.
"Yep," I reply. "Just you and me, pal."
"Nothing could thrill me more."
"I know, it's-" I stop as I hear a snigger. "Were you being sarcastic?" I accuse.
"Of course not," he answers…sarcastically, would you believe?
"Damnit," I mutter. "I didn't know old people could do sarcasm." I shrug. "That just means I can still be me when I'm 70!"
"Lord help them," he mutters, but I ignore him. He's just jealous he won't be here to see it!
"You wanna watch a movie?" I offer.
"Such as?"
"Uh…Die Hard?"
"I don't think so-you wouldn't appreciate my opinions of it, I'm certain."
"No, I guess not…what about James Bond? You love that guy!"
"There are some elements I find enjoyable," he admits.
"What do you say? I'm sure there's still a Bond movie we haven't seen yet!"
"Oh, why not, you've talked me into it," he smiles.
"Good man!" He takes a seat next to me. "You know there's no TV in here, right?"
"I do," he says.
"You just wanna sit here?"
"Actually I was hoping you could wheel in the portable or do that trick where you played it on the wall," he suggests. "I quite enjoyed watching you struggle the last time."
"First of all…I was not struggling," I lie. "I just did it cos I knew you'd find it funny."
"Of course you did." I frown.
"Okay, the sarcasm is just getting scary," I tell him. "And second…you get the drinks in?"
"I'm certain I could hold a beer."
"Great-see you back in ten."
"What? No, no, no, no! Don't you dare, you bastard?!" I screech at the TV. That fucker of a ref has just sent off Gerrard-he's the only one doing anything! I hear someone clear their throat, and I turn to see Winston looking at me disapprovingly. "Well, I'm sorry, but that arsehole has just sent off Gerrard and he's the only one actually off his arse and playing!" I groan along with most of the crowd as Crouch comes on-we all know what a valuable asset he is! Geez, the guy's a freakin' amateur!
As you can see, we got bored of Bond and when I turned the movie off, I saw the game was on, so I thought 'what the hell?' Only now I really regret it!
"Football?" someone says behind me, and I see Winston nod. I look behind me.
"Hey, Lara," I greet. "How's it going?"
"Much better," she smiles, nodding. "That walk really helped." I frown in confusion.
"You went for a walk?"
"Almost an hour ago, Zip." I think back. Nope, nothing.
"Really?" She nods.
"Yes," she tells me. "I told you just as I was leaving that I needed some air." She pauses. "Well, all right, I might not have actually said that, but you saw me walk through the door."
"Uh, yeah, yeah, of course I did," I nod, though in fact, I remember no such thing. It seems Lara is of that same opinion as she just sighs but doesn't press it. She's learnt to just let me pretend to know what she's talking about. Seriously-I know this isn't gonna make me sound good-but unless you want to tear your hair out in frustration, it's really best to just let me get on with it.
"Half-time," Winston announces. I also think I hear him mutter 'thank goodness' but I can't really be sure. I seriously hope he didn't-that's just a crime against football! Okay, so I get a little involved, but seriously, that ref is gonna need bodyguards if he's not careful with some of his decisions!
"Wanna beer?" I offer the room. Winston shakes his head.
"No, I think I'll pass it up this time," Lara smiles. "I've had way too much."
"Tequila?" She only shakes her head. "Chardonnay?"
"Zip, perhaps I should have been clearer," she sighs patiently. "A hell of a lot of alcoholic beverages-not one of them appealing to me."
"Okay, okay, I can take a hint," I shrug. "Water?" She snorts.
"I don't want anything to drink, Zip," she says. I open my mouth to suggest food when she interrupts. "Or eat." Damnit! "Although, do you know where Alister is?"
"Uh, yeah, still at the hospital," I answer.
"Really?" she says, looking surprised.
"He has just found out his girlfriend is pregnant," I point out.
"Yes, of course," she nods. "Um, when he gets home, could you please tell him I'm looking for him? That is, if he's not looking too distressed."
"Sure," I nod. "Uh, where are you gonna be?"
"Either my room, the library or the gym-the latter two being the most likely." She smiles at both of us and starts to walk upstairs.
"Lara?" She turns. "Are you…you know, okay?"
"I'm fine, Zip," she assures me. "I just had a bit of a…I don't know, a cogitation while I was out there."
"Come again?" I have to ask. Everyday I swear she deliberately hooks up with a dictionary to find a new word she knows I won't understand!
"A ponder," she explains. "Anyway, I did a lot of thinking while I was out there."
"Bolivia?"
"Walking," she snorts. "I didn't do much thinking at all in Bolivia." I nod understanding.
"And, what happened?"
"Bolivia?"
"While you were walking," I snort back at her.
"Oh," she laughs. "Nothing, really. I just…realised that I've got to stop letting everything that's happening around me get to me if I want any chance of finding Avalon…and my mother." I don't say anything. What can you say to that? I'm just glad she seems to have got it sorted. Don't get me wrong, the stress was seriously overdue, but it's great to see she's (at least sounding) back to normal. "I know what you're thinking," she snorts. "That I'm just saying it." I shrug. "Well, I'm not. I mean it. Enjoy your game."
With that, she turns around and walks silently up the stairs again.
Literally, just as she closes the door behind her, the front door opens. "Hey, Alister," I greet.
"Oh God, you scared me!" he curses, clutching his chest. "What are you doing down here?"
"Watching the game," I tell him. "Beer?"
"No thanks," he declines. I nod. I shrug. More for me. Winston gives me a look. What's his problem-crap!
"Oh, hey, how'd it go?" I ask.
"How did-what?" Alister asks confusedly.
"The hospital-Marina. How'd it go?" I explain.
"Oh," he realises. We expectantly await his answer as he opens and closes his mouth. "Uh…"
Lara's POV
I meant it, you know-when I yold Zip that I'm fine. I suppose you could say I finally 'saw the light' How am I supposed to make any progress with my mother and Avalon if I allow everything else to...distract me?! Since I went to the dais for the second time, I have done nothing except for being run over by some irresponsible driver, broken the heart of my best friend, have managed to drive Kurtis away because I'm annoying and...fell for one of the cruellest tricks someone could play on another person.
I won't deny I have my doubts about Zip's theory-that 'Lily' lied all along. I know there are some real shits, but I just can't see the purpose-any-other than to stir up my past and distract...oh God, even Amanda wouldn't sink so low, would she? Or is she truly capable of such manipulation that she could actually persuade an impostor to pose as my long-lost daughter? Then again, I suppose if the money's good enough...and Rutland does have access to a hell of a lot of it.
Do you know, I was actually...well, quite relieved when Zip pointed it out. All right, there were a couple of times I envisaged a proper mother-daughter relationship, against all odds probably, but now I look back, I see that's what was bothering me most. I felt guilty because of the way I'd treated her; I felt angry because she'd interrupted my search; I felt...I felt those feelings again, as I remembered the conception. I'd been able to lock it away-her arrival was the key to that memory, if you will.
As I think about it more and more, it was as if...it was as if I was trapped, in a dark, murky pond, drowning, and she...she was the plant, the lily pad just above, preventing me from reaching the surface. Now I realise she was most likely only a bloody good actress, it's as if I've broken the surface of the water and I can breathe again...as it moved out of my path. And as I look around, I can see clearer and I know what I need to do, in order to climb out...and free myself.
The scrolls to my left catch my eye and I pick them up and place them on the desk. I hear the door open behind me just as I'm leaning over to study the scrolls closer. I look up and see Alister behind me. "Oh, hello, Alister," I greet, almost nervously.
"Hi, Lara," he says back, looking surprised to find me here. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I smile. "You?" He just nods. "How did it go, at the hospital?" I ask tentatively after an awkward silence.
"Um, yeah, it's…it's all sorted," he smiles at me.
"Well, that's fantastic," I gush. I go up to him and pull him into a hug, which he stiffly returns. I move away, sensing he's uncomfortable. "Are congratulations in order?"
"Maybe we should save that until later," he suggests quietly.
"Of course," I nod. Another awkward silence comes between the two of us.
"Zip said you were looking for me?" he says.
"Oh, yes, I-"
"To do with the scrolls, I'm guessing?" I nod.
"Of course, we won't have to start working on it now!" I assure him at his expression. "I will obviously give you some breathing space, but when you're ready, your help would be much appreciated."
"Tomorrow?" I frown in confusion.
"Are you sure? You've had one hell of a-"
"You said whenever I was ready."
"Well, yes, I just didn't think you'd be ready quite so soon-"
"Do you need me or not?" he asks coldly. Slowly, I nod. "Then I'll see you here tomorrow."
"All right," I agree. "Um…I expect you want some time alone, so I'm just going to go." I walk out, silently hoping that he will call me back, tell me he's sorry, or…anything. I can't stand his coldness. I know it's no more than to be expected, but I hate it. I hate it…and what's worse is, I think it might be like this for a very long time to come. Alister doesn't do grudges, but when he does, he doesn't let go.
Author's POV
She thought of going to the Gym, but knew she couldn't summon the energy to do anything when she got there. She convinced herself that of course her stamina will be lower than usual, after the accident and all the stress she's been put through recently…but what if she never regained her strength fully? Or even enough to make it physically possible for her to even find an entrance to Avalon? She couldn't surrender, not now. Without her mother, what else was there? But she also knew that after an injury like that, it's unlikely her body would ever fully recover…
As the voice announced over the PA system that 'this is the last call for flight BA467 to JFK New York' he looked down at his Economy class ticket and wondered if he'd made a mistake in leaving so hastily. Yes, she drove him crazy sometimes, but let's be honest, he probably drove her crazy! Not to mention 'long-suffering' friend Lily. How she'd put up with him, he would never know. Or how Anaya had put up with him.
"Sir?" the flight attendant called to him. He looked up. "Are you boarding or not?" It wasn't too late to turn back, he knew. He could just shake his head and grab a train back to Lara's village…but that wasn't going to happen, even he knew that. He nodded at the stewardess, and handed her his boarding pass. After checking it, she ripped off the tag and handed him the piece he needed to board. "Thank you, sir." He smiled at her and, taking one last look at the airport, went through…
She stared out of her Brooklyn apartment window, watching the rain fall on the streets far below. Since the funeral and the…meeting, she'd found herself unable to stop thinking about her, her mother. It had occurred to her to just pick up the phone and call her. She'd said she was sorry, but that didn't necessarily mean that she wanted to attempt at a relationship with her daughter. It could have simply been Lara's way of finding closure.
She blinks in surprise as a loud thunderclap snaps her from her thoughts. As soon as she's settled, however, her thoughts go straight back to Lara…and wondering, hoping that somewhere out there, Lara is thinking of her...
He watched her leave, almost willing himself to call her back, even if just to apologise for his outburst. But he didn't. He watched her walk away and close the door behind her. He sat on the desk and watched as the rain began to fall, and the sky darkened with threatening thunder clouds, musing over what had happened this evening…and before he knew it, he found himself starting to cry…
Just thought I'd leave it there with everything nicely tied up. LOLX
N-ee-ways, I hope you liked the story! I did-well, writing it anyway. So, on a last note, just bear with me, because there will be a second story, up within 2-3 weeks, hopefully. Its current name is 'Of Moss and Daisies' but this could change-it will say 'sequel to Lily Pad' in the summary anyway! Please review!