Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi...grumble grumble...lucky lady. Now or Never
Oneshot
By Shinsei Kokoro
The rain was coming down hard, and along the curved valley, nothing could be seen but fields of green grass for yards and yards. The wet season came once in a while, and if he was lucky, the hanyou usually had himself in a shelter before he could get caught in one. Except this time, luck was against him. He was stuck in the middle of a bloody rainstorm of all things.
Angry demons slicing through him he could handle.
Even nasty letchers.
But rain getting into his ears? That he couldn't.
Inuyasha could make out the distinct whines of animals huddled in shelters, and as ears flattened deeper into his mane of silver tresses, he looked over his shoulder to continue his sulkiness, "Can you guys walk any faster? Or are you planning to die right before we even get to Naraku?"
His comment got a raise of plastered heads, and eyes glaring his way, "Why don't you just excuse us and be on your way to find a cave or some decent cover? Maybe we'll get there faster without your complaining." Sango gritted through a clenched jaw as she struggled to keep hold of the Hiraikotsu over her head. But the boomerang bone hardly aided in keeping even an inch dry.
Close behind her, hovered Miroku who had Shippou firmly tucked under his outer robes. "I must agree. It will definitely loose us time in pursuing for caves." He was digging his staff into the ground as he walked, providing him with a better balance and pace.
The hanyou shifted his eyes upon a school girl who dragged her feet at the end of the group. Kagome hadn't said much, but with that long face she had on, it was hardly likely he was going to take a chance in angering her and getting sit like the dog he was…in muddy puddles no less.
Wiping away his face for the umpteenth time with the end of his sleeve, Inuyasha didn't look back again as he shrugged, and hoisted off the ground with the heels of his feet. They could take care of themselves if some demon thought they'd make good dinner.
The three onlookers watched him leap away as the distance grew thin, and all was left was a red blur.
"Where is he going?" Kagome's nervousness squeaked as she tightened the grasp of her own arms around her. One second she was in her own world, and the next the object of her thoughts was fleeing.
"Looking for a nearby cave we could camp for tonight." Miroku had his face leaning into the sky, "At this rate, I hope no one truly catches a disease and falls sick to die."
"Houshi-sama!" Sango snapped at him with a scowl, "Those are unwise words. I think we need to keep a little more positive than that in our condition."
As Kagome watched, Mirkou's blank face broke into a little coy smile. He spoke after a long thought, "You're right as always, dear Sango. My words were quite unwise." He didn't sound too sorry. And it made Kagome wonder if it was just about everyone here who hated the rain.
Rolling her eyes, the miko trudged on. It wasn't long before a slap resounded against the rain, "Pervert!" and through the corner of her eyes, she could spot Miroku housing a beaming red flare on his cheek. Truly unwise.
Blinking back the water in her eyes, she rubbed it away furiously. Why hadn't I ever thought of bringing a stupid umbrella as well? But it was no use now. She was soaked to her skin, and her bones felt cold and brittle. Traveling on Kirara would have been much easier, but the little fox demon had been injured by a snake demon they had fought yesterday. Transforming was impossible, and getting herself cradled on Inuyasha's back would be even more above impossible.
They couldn't possibly leave Miroku and Sango here slogging through wet grass all by themselves in an overwhelm of rain. And besides, she doubted Inuyasha would even offer his back after what she had done that day.
The memories flitted across her mind as her feet walked against the rain and wind. Duh. Like she had been thinking of anything else except that.
Carnage had been all around them, but a Shikon shard in the snake demon had kept it from dying. It kept reforming too fast. Too fast to let them get to the shard. Even when Kouga had come slamming against it. Even when Inuysha had slaughtered it using Tetsusaiga. And even when Sango had sliced it into two with her Hiraikotsu. It kept reforming together right before her eyes.
She herself had been stuck to Miroku and Shippou. The monk wasn't allowed to use his Kazaana just yet before of the injuries caused by Naruku's wasps, and Shippo…well, he wouldn't let go of Miroku's neck. They were covering a few feet away, and Kagome had felt her feet getting restless seeing her friends pouring with sweat and blood.
She had her arrows, but if the Tetsusaiga couldn't do a thing how could an arrow? She had felt utterly useless. And that was when Kouga had been once again slammed back by the snake. This time as she and the others watched, he didn't get back up.
Kagome had felt sick, and it hadn't stopped her from running towards the limp body, bow and arrow out. When she first touched his face, his skin was still warm, but before she knew it, something had collided against her, sending her hurtling into the air, her breath getting knocked out of her.
She didn't know what happened next, but there was the blade of Tetsusaiga swinging before her, and Inuyasha's furious growl. She had struck into the ground somewhere behind him, swinging dangerously into darkness.
The shard had fallen out from the head of the snake where Inuyasha had sliced through. But he hadn't been happy. Even when Kagome had woken up, Inuyasha hadn't stopped snarling about the grave danger she had put herself into. And being the arrogant grump he was, he never stopped bring the topic up.
So thus had started another one of their fights. Over no particular reason as always.
Kagome had become sick of it.
The sudden thunder in the sky jolted her out of memories, reminding her that she wasn't bathed in a snake demon's blood anymore.
Shuddering, she looked up forward to see the monk and taijia already making pace, so she hurried through the wet blades of grass that slapped her ankles. Maybe she could talk to him about it when they reached camp and ask him what on earth had crawled under his skin. But on the other hand, with the dark mood he was in…maybe not.
Inuyasha had heard the thunder as clear as a scream. His foremost instinct told him to sprint out from the cavern to gather up Kagome. Her scent was nearing at a painfully slow rate. But she was with the others. She would be safe. He told himself that relentlessly, but his legs disobeyed him by lunging out back into the wet weather.
They weren't too hard to find. In fact, only a few meters away from the cave he had spied. His first reaction to see a pale and dripping Kagome with thin arms around herself knocked him. But if she seemed strong enough to walk, obviously she had a bit of warmth still left in her.
However his reasonings deserted him the moment she collapsed in a dark corner beside Sango. The cave was a tad too small, but as long as it was dry nothing more mattered.
If his eyesight hadn't been too affected by the sodding rain, he could tell that the three humans had immensely blanched. They were shivering and hopelessly squeezing the water out of their clothes.
"I don't suppose making a fire will be any possible will it?" Sango murmured as her teeth chattered mercilessly, bringing Kirara closer to her for warmth. The fox demon purred against her master.
"I think I can feel around a few stones." Kagome's voice was soft in the semi-darkness, but Inuyasha could see the contours of her face perfectly clear. He could also see Shippou who had bounced away into the depth of her arms. Shrugging out a slight shiver, the hanyou eyed the spot longingly, then straightened himself up when Miroku brushed past him.
"But we have nothing to burn."
"We can burn these." Inuyasha had tipped over the bag he had been carrying. Or more specifically, Kagome's 'water-proof' bag.
"Hey! Those are my books!"
"The hell! Do you rather we save your fucking books over your life?"
"But—!" the miko panicked as she bent down to save them, but the hanyou had already flung them into the corner where Miroku had started flicking stones together.
Kagome drew herself together to put up a good fight, but just one look at a miserably soggy Shippou and a shivering Sango left her too dry to scrounge any energy to utter another word.
The fire came flaring in minutes, and the group crawled around the blazing inferno, warmth hitting them like bricks. Kagome didn't voice her thoughts as she felt the stark heat waft over her face. At least I'll have an excuse for not handing in that report.
Inuyasha scooted himself off into another corner the second he was sure of his haori being dry. From there, he watched the girls huddle together with Kirara, and Miroku and Shippou opposite them.
He watched the little smile on Kagome's lips. Her curled locks plastered against her face and neck. She looked to be appearing a little if not more relaxed and warmed, and it made him wonder if she would ever bring her school books along with her the next time.
Feh. I say good riddance.
But the longer he kept looking at her, the more often he found himself remembering yesterday when they had encountered the snake demon. The time when he had seen her whimper with her clothes sprayed with blood, and arms tight around Kouga. She had been knocked unconscious and hadn't woken up until after another half day. The thought itself sent a cold jolt through his spine.
That had probably been one of his worst moments. Holding her tight with blood over her face, and her damn eyes not opening when he called out her name. When was the last time he had been scared like that? When was the last time, he had felt his brain go numb with fear?
Shaking his head of those thoughts, he shifted his eyes off into the darkness. They could have a better rest by not looking at something that made his eyes woozy. Giving his ears a slight scuff, he settled back against the rocky walls of the cave.
Of course Kouga could take care of himself. Of course she should have known that. Inuyasha was sure she even knew that. For Kami's sake, he has two of the fucking shards! But no. What he had seen in a moment of distraction, was the stupid miko running away from cover with her even stupider bow and arrows. To that filthy wolf. Blindly unaware that the goddamn snake had been slithering right beside her.
Fuck him. In seconds, Inuyasha caught himself growling. She had run off to Kouga crying as if he was fucking dead or something!
Not that it matter much or anything. She would have done that to even fucking Sesshoumaru. Of all the goodness in the world, the entire thing had to be her most vulnerable point.
For a moment, he flinched as her eyes caught his. Feeling discomfort pour onto him like a cascading waterfall, he averted his gaze. Her clothes were nearly dry, and her soft hair glistened in the crackling of the firelight. But he was unable to look at her. He was unable to stop from imagining the blood on her face again and again. It was like a gruesome dream. A dream where she wouldn't awake no matter how many times he would call her name. A dream where he would never be allowed to let himself drown in those warm brown eyes.
"Inuyasha?" Miroku's voice hounded him down, and he shifted his eyes at the monk, startled.
"What?" he barked unceremoniously.
But the human didn't flinch, "How long do you suppose the road to Kaede's village might be?"
Grunting, he fidgeted as four pair of bright eyes turned to him, "Keh. A day…or two if you guys walk like corpses."
Rolling her eyes, Kagome twirled her fingers in the fur of the kitsune in her lap, "Well, excuse us for being humans." She muttered under her breath, knowing the hanyou would most definitely hear her.
His eyes narrowed, but he wasn't given a chance to snap back.
"During the halt at Kaede's, I wish us to take a longer wait." Sango shifted a little in her spot, "I don't think Kirara will be recovering anytime soon." she didn't look away from stroking the firecat who purred contently underneath her. "A long rest is what she requires."
Inuyasha swept his eyes over the cat, then shrugged, "You and the monk can wait. I'll take the wench with me."
"Hey!" the said wench scowled, "I have to go home too y'know."
"For what?" the hanyou scoffed, "More tests?"
"No, but I haven't been home for nearly a week."
"So?" Inuyasha didn't dither his gaze, daring her with gleaming eyes to continue.
"So whether you like it or not, I'm going home for a day or so, and you can stay at the village with them. You might need the rest as well." Of course, it would be foolish to expect her not to rise at his every challenge.
"We've wasted enough time already." Inuyasha felt the familiar words fall out his mouth, "And in the last month, we've only gathered about five more shards."
"What? Like that's not a good number?"
"You're coming whether you like it or not!" his fists were clenched and he felt his hackles rising. Damn her for always defying everything he said!
But given that one second, the miko had already sprung on her feet, Shippou toppling over in the process and her face a raging wave, "Oh yeah! Well, I say I'm not coming! End of discussion!"
"It's not a discussion you're allowed to end!"
"And it's not a decision you can make! I need some free time too. All I've been doing is hiking and rolling around in blood. I need a break!"
"Feh." Inuyasha leaped himself just opposite the fire, just opposite the girl who had murder in her eyes, "You had all the free time yesterday."
The girl looked caught off guard for a second, then the blood in her was curdling, "That's not called as free-time you idiot! I was unconscious!"
"What does it matter?" the hanyou flicked back a forelock, "You were asleep."
"You jerk! How insensitive and stupid can you be?"
"As stupid as you can be for coming in the way once again."
"Kouga was hurt!"
"We were all hurt!"
"I thought he was dead!"
"Then good!"
"God!" the miko flung around, eyes anywhere but on him, "How can you be so cold? He was helping us."
Grunting, Inuyasha's glare didn't soften, "A lot of help he was. All he did was nearly get you killed."
"Oh yeah? And what's so new about that?" Kagome had stormed only steps away from him, Miroku and Sango not sparing them a second of their attention, "As far as I can tell, I nearly killed just about every day!"
"Didn't they have this conversation about an hour ago?" Sango sighed in discreet as she scrambled next to a wall.
"I suppose so," Miroku smiled at the raging couple behind him, "But you must agree, it is quite our only entertainment for a while."
"Of course!" Inuyasha's growl boomed through the small cave, a strange echo resounding around him, "What would you expect if you just came into the middle of a battle like the idiot you are! If it weren't for me, you'd be dead a long time ago!"
"Oh, so now I'm useless huh?" the girl had her fists hanging by her hips, lips tightened into a thin grim line. "I can't even save my own life now, can I?"
"Yeah, with the stupid acts you pull, what else do you expect?"
At that last snarl, nothing was pulled but silence. It soared through their ears hotly, and all Kagome was aware of right then was her stinging eyes and heated face, "Shut up!" she spat before she realized, "That's what you always go saying! I'm useless!" the word came sounding sour in her mouth, "But guess what? At least I give a damn about if my friends survive or not!"
"Really?" his demeanor was stiff, "And you think I don't?"
"No! Did you even realize that Kouga could have nearly died!"
"Oh for fuck's sake!" Inuyasha all but threw his hands in the air, "Kouga. Kouga! Kouga! That's all you ever bring up!"
"He could have died!"
"He's a fucking demon with shards! He can survive shit!"
"I thought he was dead!"
"That's your own stupidity! You nearly got killed yourself!"
"But I'm still alive right!"
"That's because I have to keep saving your sorry ass!"
"I never asked you to!"
"Whether you ask or not, you're my responsibility!"
"Excuse me, but I didn't give you a contract to sign as my bodyguard!"
"You bi—!" the howl stopped in mid sentence, "Sign wha—?"
But Kagome didn't stop her breath to explain, "You might think I'm weak and all, but I'm not!"
"I—,"
"Maybe I'm not as strong as Kikyo but I can take care of myself with or without you! So don't you dare call me useless ever again!"
"Kikyo?" Inuyasha snapped before he could get a hold of himself, his tone sounding incredulous, "You're a million lifetimes away from ever having even a quarter of her strength! The least you can do is cry like a pathetic human and whine at every chance you get! So don't ever bother comparing yourself to her!"
Her heart nearly stopped beating as those words came out. The blood from her face drained and the coldness of the wafting air chilled her skin, "You…"
But Inuyasha wasn't finished. His blood was raging and his mind was a whirl of incoherent words, "And you know what? At the impossible amount of shit you get into, there's no one else other than me who would even bother saving your life! And this is the thanks I get?"
The words hit her sharper than anything she had ever felt, and the sting in her eyes brought her knees to tremble, "You don't deserve anything." She was surprised of even capable of speaking, but her words came to haunt, "Nothing."
"Yeah?" Inuyasha could feel his claws sinking into his palms, the demon in him scrounging to be let out, "Well fuck this then." All he was aware of were those damn eyes tearing him apart, "See if I'll care if I see you dying the next time."
Something in her broke. Something really tender, "Next time?" This time, she was sure of her shoulders quivering, "There won't be a next time for you because I've never ever needed your stupid help! I've never needed you to save me and order me around like you bloody own me or something!"
"Great!" his claws struck the wall behind him before he was aware of it, "Good lucking surviving without me!" And with that his feet stormed out, his hiss echoing, and his words dieing as it went with him into the cascade of the heavy rain.
The silence stretched on for a good long time, and all this time, Kagome's eyes didn't waver from the wall he had struck into. There was just one thought bellowing in and out. Like the storm.
'That could have been me.'
Inuyasha was pissed.
He was so mad that he couldn't stop running. His jaw was hurting from gritting it too hard. His palms hurt from where he had dug his claws in. He couldn't stop flinging himself away, rushing past branches and trees and nocturnal birds.
'Damn her!' She had done it again. She had gone and managed to make him feel all unimportant again. Like he did nothing! Like he never did anything for her.
"Fucking hell!" he didn't think once before puling back his claws and letting a tree trunk have his wrath.
He did so much for her. Things that fucking wolf would never have done! So many things he would never have believed himself. But…so much. He did so much to keep her safe. To make sure she slept at night. To make sure she would not get as much as a scratch on her skin.
And yet…yet she managed to make him feel so useless. So…pathetic!
"Nghh!" grabbing a fistful of leaves, he tore out one branch after another.
Why! Why the fuck did she always do that? Why did she always make it seem that he was never there for her? Why did she have to make him feel so stupid? So weak? So unbelievably ruthless?
Offcourse he cared about his friends. They were the only thing he had close to a family. Offcourse he would risk his life for any of them. Miroku. Sango. Shippou. And for her? For her he was ready to do absolutely anything.
He would kill himself a thousand times if he had to.
Because he loved her. He loved everything about her. Every little thing.
And still…still she had to go and bring up Kikyo like that.
Kikyo had been brought up to be a priestess and fight demons. And that was what she had done all her life. Kikyo…was different.
But not Kagome. She was just an innocent girl. Someone who had never picked up a weapon until she came to him. Some one who had never seen blood, guts and glory being strung about.
She had never once been in a situation of life and death. In her era, there were just studies, getting good grades and pleasing her family and friends. But here…her worries were nothing of a light matter. And he accepted that!
He had accepted that a long time ago.
And that's what he loved her for. Protected her for. She was this ray of light in his life. This sudden thing that changed the course of his future. This being who brought so much will out of him. Who made him stronger and weaker all together. She was the first thing he wanted to see in the morning. The one who would coo over him even when he wasn't hurt. The one thing that depended on him to be by her side at all times.
But where would she be if one day she were to be snatched away from him?
What would he do without her?
Where would he go?
Whose scent would he be able to chase?
Inuyasha suddenly came to a halt. Heaving lightly, he brought a claw to a tree and pulled himself onto a branch.
Where would he be if she were to disappear from his grasp one day? If another snake demon were to attack her? Where would he go? What would he look forward to each day? If not for that stupid smile always on her face, what would cheer him up? Who would sit so close to him and share the stars with him on his human days?
'Bloody girl.' Snarling, he dug a hand of claws to peel a skin of bark out one by one. It was…it was so…so stupid! He was raking his head. Suffering this anger…only…only over this silly girl. This girl who would never for once listen to a word he had to say. Who always…who always had to defy his plans. This girl who drove him so crazy that any sign of her blood would make his heart pound in his ears. That any bruise on her would make him want to rip apart the one responsible for it.
How could one girl do this to him? Make him go mad by smelling another demon's scent on her. Make him feel so useless by just stringing around his despair for everyone to laugh at.
You don't deserve anything.
Maybe he didn't. But there was one thing he deserved. There was one thing he would always have no matter who was against it.
That girl.
No matter what he had said, he knew.
Maybe she could. But to him it would be impossible to imagine life without Kagome.
The cave was fairly warm.
Dim orange flickers kept their eyes alight, but Kagome continued to shiver. Hugging herself close, she rubbed away tears that kept finding their way down her cheeks.
She couldn't move. She couldn't think. Each time, Inuyasha's words ran a mile through her gut, slapping her in the face.
Miroku had attempted a few words to try and bring back the atmosphere, but Sango had just pinched him in the side to which he yelped to. In the coaxing silence, Shippou had fallen asleep through restlessness and to the scent of his Kagome's salty tears.
The wind was billowing outside. Although the rain might have softened, the chill was still there. And so with each quiver, the feeling of distraught rose in Kagome.
Her numbed knees grazed against the hard floor as she brought them against her chest and burrowed her face into it.
"Lady Kagome?" Miroku's voice rang uncertainly through the cave. It not only awoke the drowsy Shippou, but Kirara mewed softly as well.
Kagome pretended she didn't hear, but after a few moments she unwillingly glanced into his direction.
Miroku sighed as he was given sight to a flushed tear-stricken face with swollen red eyes.
Sango moved quietly until she sat with arms around the young miko. Not ready to take refuge, Kagome hung her head by her arms and opted for a long shaky breath. Shippou bounced closer to the small fire and reached out small fingers to pat the raven head.
"I hate this." A helpless mumble escaped Kagome's lips as she tried a wane smile for the little kitsune.
"Don't we all." Miroku extended his own smile, and brought his staff to rest across his lap. "But I think…I think it's time to fix it."
Kagome's head snapped up at his words, "Fix what?"
"Fix the reason to these unnecessary arguments you and Inuyasha have been having."
"What? There isn't even a reason to—,"
"Kagome," the monk stopped her with an impassive face, "There is always a reason for everything."
"There might be, but not to this. Inuyasha just…" the girl swallowed to let an unreadable expression pass over have face, "Inuyasha just…always has to…ugh! I can't stand it! I can't stand his…his stupid arrogance anymore. It's driving me crazy!"
"Kagome," Miroku started once more, "Inuyasha's a demon who understands very little of some things…but he's very loyal."
"I didn't question his loyalty!" Kagome cried.
"But you did question his ability to care."
"What?" a breath hitched.
"When you said that he didn't care for the survival of his friends. You know that's what he values above—,"
"That's not what I meant! I meant…" words trailed off in her mouth as she trained her eyes on the blazing inferno.
"Look…Kouga and Inuyasha belong to a completely opposite breed. You would never be able to classify them as friends. It's not in their blood."
"Then tell me." Kagome looked up from the fire with tear-filled eyes, "Where did I go wrong? What did I do? Was it really so stupid of me to go to Kouga? Would you not have gone to a friend, if you would have seen him lying there…not moving and…and bleeding so much? Wouldn't you have gone to him when seeing him lie on the ground like that…could only mean that he were dead? Wouldn't you have gone to him Miroku?"
"I would have."
"Then—,"
"Kagome." Sango cleared her throat, "This is not what it's all about."
"Then?"
"He was scared. Scared for your life. He blamed himself when you fell unconscious. He blamed himself for not being quick enough to protect you. He was so scared…that maybe you might not wake up. And you must know…our Inuyasha does not get scared easily."
"Then why—?"
"He also gets jealous easily." Shippou quipped in, "The fact that you ran to Kouga, hugging him and getting his scent all over you. I know that pissed him off."
"But—,"
"And you shouldn't have bought up Kikyo," Sango sighed simultaneously as Miroku, "You know how he gets when you compare yourself to her."
Silence poured in, and Kagome shut her eyes tighter as each accusation hit her. Then she bluntly asked, "So it's my fault?"
"Well—," Miroku started awkwardly.
"It's my fault that Inuyasha doesn't think I'm strong enough?"
"You are stro—,"
"It's my fault that I'll never be close to ever reaching what Kikyo was?"
"No, that's not—,"
"It's my fault right. Offcourse. Inuyasha was right wasn't he? I do whine about everything. I do cry about everything. But I can't help it! You see, I wasn't born here! I wasn't born seeing blood! I wasn't born seeing death! I wasn't born to use weapons or kill demons or whatever! I wasn't born to any of this! And the only reason I'm here is to help! That's all I'm here for! I wasn't born to be brave."
"Kagome!" Sango's hold tightened around the girl, "You know that's not what we mean."
"Then what!" the girl all but shrieked as she twisted out of the hold to scramble to her feet…or as far as she could stand under the low ceiling of he cave. "What did you expect me to say? Sorry? Because I'm never going to say sorry to him! Not after what he said!"
Sighing, the monk and taijia spared a glance at her, while Shippou meekly stayed quiet.
"Hey," Sango nudged the girl, "You know Inuyasha's always saying things without thinking—,"
"No!" Kagome took in a laboured breath to bite her lower lip, "Not this time. This time…this time he said the things he ahs always wanted to say." After all, what real chance was there to ever be as strong as Kikyo? She did always waste her time crying. Even now. She was crying. That was her way of solving…or at least attempting to solve peace in her head.
"Really?" Miroku looked doubtful, "Do you for one moment think that someone like Inuyasha would abandon you? Do you Kagome? Do you think he would ever be able to put you behind him? Do think he would ever be able to let someone harm you? Much less even touch you? Do you Kagome?"
She was crying. Not sobbing, but surely bawling her eyes out. Offcourse. Offcourse!
There was no time needed to even think about it. The shake in her head came automatically, and she let herself collapse against the wall with incoherent mumbles escaping.
"Kagome—,"
"No! No he wouldn't." Offcourse he wouldn't. How could she have ever…even for once, how could she have ever imagined that Inuyasha would abandon her? "No."
"Then?" came the soft whisper from across the fire, "What are we waiting for?"
Kagome looked at monk through blurry eyes.
"Let's go find him."
She thought about it. And she shook her head, straightening herself up, "No," Kagome shook her head again as a miserable smile graced her face, "It's my fault." She rubbed at her face with the back of her hand, "I'll have go alone."
It wasn't that cold anymore. The tree prevented any of the drizzling rain to seep into his ears. But even then, the occasional drop of water sliding from broad leaves still made him growl in his throat.
He hated the rain. This insufferable rain that made him feel so down-hearted and gloomy. It snatched away his energy. Especially sitting like with nothing to do. No demons to kill. No anger to scream out.
It wasn't very easy making himself comfortable on the scaly branch. His claws ached from having driven it into the tree's bark too many times, and his ears were slightly itchy.
Scuffing them slightly, Inuyasha scowled into the dark sky. He felt restless. The pitter-patter of the slow rain was like a never-ending rusted melody playing at the back of his head.
Then a ear perked as a familiar scent assaulted his senses.
A scent so memorable that he sat up straight almost instantly, eyes darting, and claws instinctively grabbing onto the bark. 'Kagome.'
He could trace her smell even he were half-dead. But as he leaned back and pretended to close his eyes, another scent zoomed up on him.
Blood.
Eyes snapped open as fast as they had shut, and for a moment he was ready to leap off the tree.
But he sat still. He forced every muscle in him to freeze onto the branch. He wasn't going to take back his words. He was going to sit there and let that stupid girl wander around aimlessly. He was going to sit there, and enjoy seeing her lost. That's what he was going to do. Sit tight.
"Inuyasha!" a shaky voice erupted through the forest, and Inuyasha cringed at how broken it sounded. He kept his ears trained on each snapping branch. On each step she took to disturb the gravel.
"Inuyasha!" The trees rustled, and he forced his eyes to close again as he distinctively heard her heavy breathing.
Then he heard a thump, and a string of colourful curses were released. It didn't hurt to just smirk to himself.
He could hear her. Her grunts. Her soft sobs. Her cries of frustration.
"Inuyasha!" She was so close. Her strong scent ran to greet him. And he clenched his jaw. Blood. He could smell it. Not strong, but it was still there.
And then he heard her stop. Just below his tree. He heard her exhale. Was it…was relief?
"I can see you Inuyasha." He heard her soft voice so clearly, "Come down will you?"
But the hanyou didn't budge.
Kagome sighed as she advanced to touch the trunk of the tree, "Inuyasha…please?" She was crying, and although she hated crying in front of him, it couldn't be helped, "Inuyasha…"
He didn't know it would so hard. He didn't know it would be so hard to ignore her voice and wait till she went away. But he couldn't resist it. He couldn't resist the fact that she had come all the way in search for him.
"Inuyasha…I'm sorry!" her cry entailed a burst of even more tears, and the hanyou flicked open his eyes.
He looked down hoping to look sour, but when he caught sight of her, he swallowed hard.
Kagome stood there, shivering from head to toe, her clothes clinging to her helplessly. Dark wet hair plastered against the sides of her face, her knees dirty and bleeding. She looked so pale and weak. So small that he felt like the wind was rushing through his head.
And her eyes…her pleading eyes. "Inuyasha…" his name fell from her mouth so softly, that he sat up on his branch.
Taking in a strong breath, Kagome stepped back a little, still looking up, "We need to talk."
"There's nothing to talk about." Inuyasha sliced the air with a snap, and he was left wondering where this spite had come from.
She shivered once again and her face hardened, "Yes there is."
"Go back to the cave." The words came out of his mouth involuntarily.
"No I'm not!" she snapped back, "Not until you come down here and we have a talk!"
"I said…" he snarled callously, "There's nothing to talk about!"
"Yes there is!" Kagome stepped back further, her fists balled at her sides, "And you know it! So come down before I make you!"
His eyes snapped open wide as the familiar threatening device lodged into his head, "Bitch, you wouldn't dare—,"
Her determined face said so other wise, and as she heaved in a deep breath to scream, Inuyasha leaped out of his spot, "S—,"
Kagome never had a chance to complete her summon, because as she stood there anger and the cold make her tremble, Inuyasha stood in front of her, a hand clasped so tightly over her mouth, it covered even her nose.
"Mmmmnngh!" she struggled with furious eyes.
"Close you mouth." His bark was deep and rough in her ears, but the young miko refused to comply.
"Mmmngghh!" she threw her arms at him, but he caught them swiftly with another hand.
"I said close you mouth!" Her refusal to always obey brought him to the brink of insanity each time. Why did she constantly make it so difficult?
"Mmmn!" Her brown eyes were wide and full of annoyance, and before he knew what was on her mind she had close her row of teeth around the flesh in her mouth.
"Ughh! What the hell did you do that for!" Just as she had expected, he drew his hands in a lightening flurry and set down gleaming gold eyes to glare at her.
"I couldn't breathe you idiot!" Kagome shrieked back as the colour returned back to her face, "Why did you do that!"
"So you wouldn't cake me into the puddle!"
"I wouldn't need to if you would have just listened to me!"
"I don't need to listen to anything a wench like you has to say!"
"Yes you do!"
"No I don't!"
"Yes you do!" she grabbed hard onto a forelock of his and tugged it hard, "Especially when I just apologized!"
"I don't need your stupid apology!" he spat back.
"Stop being such a spoiled brat!"
"Me! I'm a spoiled brat!"
"Yes you! You don't even have the decency to apologize back!"
"I have nothing to apologize for!"
"Yes you do!" Kagome was red from screaming, "Especially when this is your entire fault!"
Grasping her hand to stop her insistent pulling of his hair, "My fault!" he yelled incredulously.
"Yes! Your fault! When you have nothing going your way, you have to always pull your stupid hussy fits!" Kagome didn't let him go; instead she brought another hand to hold onto both forelocks.
"Hussy!" her words made him grab onto both her hands, "You are the one who has a death wish!"
"Miroku and Shippo were right behind me!"
"Get this straight! I will never trust anyone to ever save your life! No one but me!" the words came blurting out before he could register them.
"Don't say that!" She dropped her hold to push him, but the hanyou just pulled her closer, his wild eyes so naked with raw emotions.
"What? You don't believe me?" his sudden whisper was soft and harsh, his breath wildly warm against her nose. "Do you think I would let you die before I do?"
"Please! Not everything has to be about living and dying."
"Yes! It has to be!" he grabbed her shoulders to him in a flutter, "If you're around me, that's the way it is! If you're in this world then that's the way how it's always going to be! And there's nothing you can do that can change that." It was funny how she could make his anger slip away just like that. Just by looking at him with those eyes, she could turn into a puppet with a hot stomach.
"Inuyasha…" her eyes were so warm, so beautiful. And that's when he knew it. That was the second when the reason washed over him.
He never wanted there to be a day where he wouldn't be able to look into those eyes. Those eyes that held him close, gave him security, gave him a reason to smile. He never wanted there to be a day where he wouldn't be able to gaze at her lovely face, and hold her, and touch her, and see her rosy lips tilt up into a grin.
"Do…do you want me to go back then?" her face was pale, and she seemed to be hanging onto every breath he took.
His grip tightened, and he brought her closer, "Don't you see?" A claw traced her temple, "I never want you to go back. Never."
Kagome shook her head, and with a slight force, she pulled a little away from him, "I-I don't get you. You don't want me here, but you also want me here. W-what is that supposed to mean?"
Inuyasha grabbed her back frustrated, "It means I don't want you anywhere away from me. I want to be able to sense you, so I can know what you're doing. So I can keep you safe."
"But you can't always keep me safe—,"
"I can at least try!"
"I can take care of myself too you know—"
"No! No you can't. Maybe once in a while out of luck, but that's about it. You're too nice. Too trusting. Anyone can fool you."
"Hey! That's not true. I can be mean when I want to."
"Yeah? Like when?"
"I can be mean to you." Kagome glared stubbornly.
He looked at her for a few seconds then said bluntly, "No you can't." Ignoring her indignant splutter he went on, "Your way of being mean is by sitting me a hundred times and then flouncing off down that damned well."
"You know that's not true." She argued.
"You can never be brutal Kagome. Not even if hell and heaven collided. You'll…" A claw brushed past her lips, and she leaned into him instinctively, "You'll always be too sweet."
His words struck her boldly and she was left watching his flaming eyes. He thinks I'm sweet…
Inuyasha on the other hand was having a harder time making out her expressions. She wasn't blushing like she should have. She wasn't fighting back. Her face was a mould of everything put together. And all he wanted was a sign of her acceptance. For her to say something…anything.
Then her small mouth lifted, and that was all he needed. Before he could give her a warning, he brought her crashing down to meet his chest.
It was a sign. It all but gave him a reason to think that she wanted to hear more of him. That she wanted more of him.
Her body felt so soft against his, every part of him buzzing and his arms tightening around her. She was fragile, yet every muscle in him released to clench her in an attempt to bring her even closer. Kagome held on tight.
Inuyasha dug his face into the nape of her neck, breathing the beautiful scent of her thick hair. His heart lifted before he realized it, every inch of him yearning to tell her the things that were waiting on the tip of his tongue. His mouth ached to taste hers. It was a battle of desires inside of him. If he broke, then he knew he would break her too.
"Inuyasha…" her uneasy whisper tickled his neck, and she soon realized his fingers reaching up her back and knotting around the fabric of her shirt.
"Stay with me." Kagome almost didn't hear him murmur. His show of affection was so over-whelming, that she could realize nothing but his lips grazing against her skin. His claws reaching to the back of her neck and racking through her tendrils.
"W-we have to get back." She didn't know why she was saying this. She didn't understand it herself, "The others must be worried by now." But his grip around her didn't loosen. And her jaw clenched as he trailed his nose over it. His breath hot. His touch so gentle.
The feeling was great. But she knew it would never last. He would hold her like this, then he would suddenly let her go. Embarrassed of his actions, he would hardly talk to her for a day or two. That's what the Inuyasha she knew would do. And if their few seconds of fondness would only be a little glimpse that would soon be forgotten as an awkward moment, then she would rather not have it.
But he never let her go.
His hooded eyes looked at her for a moment, but her attention was only on those lips that had touched her skin, "Why can't I have you alone with me for just once?"
His question was so raw that it made her mouth dry and she attempted swallowing, "What?" It felt like he could almost hear her hammering heart, her constant struggle to catch herself from falling to the ground in utter weakness.
"Are you scared of me?"
"O-of you?" Kagome desperately wished her voice hadn't come out as squeaky as it had sounded to her ears, "Are you mad? Offcourse not."
"Really?"
"Really." She said in a voice that hardly reached him. This time, his breath spread across her mouth. Her parted lips leaned in and for a second she swore she could have felt his lips for a millisecond.
She was right there. In his grasp. She was right in front of his face. Her eyes lively. Her cheeks rosy. And her lips just waiting for him to hunger upon. He wanted to end his restlessness right then and there. But no. He couldn't. He needed to come up with an excuse. Some really good excuse when she would finally come to her senses, slap him, and then go strutting down that well.
"Well?" her voice prompted, "Are you gonna kiss me or what?"
He was going to laugh. He was going to throw his head back and laugh.
But Inuyasha didn't need to be told once more. He didn't brush his lips against hers like he had been planning too. His didn't kiss her lips softly or smoothly. He didn't coax her into molding into him. He didn't think he had the patience to.
Instead, he pried her mouth open wide the second they touched his own. He pulled her hair down. He clutched onto her. And she didn't hold back.
She let him glide his tongue into the corners of her mouth. Let him elevate the shivers rising up her neck. She let him kiss her furiously. Feverishly. She let him press her into him, spilling the breath out of her and letting her mind flush with all the blood rushing to her brain.
She had wanted this. This. This was what she had been waiting for all this time. His presence. His kisses. His love.
She could feel his fangs. His need. His craving.
She gave herself up to him right that second. She didn't realize when she had been backed up into a tree. Didn't realize when her hands had traveled into his hair. When the rain had stopped. When his hands had slipped to hold her by the waist. And when his mouth had let go of her to trail down her neck.
"Inuyasha…?" he didn't listen to her. It's like he had gone deaf. It's like he couldn't be stopped. "Inuyasha." She grabbed the sleeves of his haori and pulled it.
He looked up momentarily, dazed. Then his fingers stopped altogether, and dropped his hands as if he had been scorched, "Kago—," a wide berth of panic crossed his features. His eyes widened before he took a step back completely, something akin to horror confronting his vision, "Fuck…fuck…I-I'm—," Shit.
But Kagome didn't give him a chance. She didn't look at him. She leaned back against the roughness of the tree bark, then looked up into the mass of leaves, "I…I-I think I love you." The words came out so fluently that she shook herself. "I really…really…" she sighed before shutting her eyes, "…love you."
There was silence from him. She tried not to look at him. She tried not to think of all the things going through his head. About Kikyo. About anything.
But that silence. That long, stretching silence that buzzed in her ears. For her own sake, Kagome waited for him to respond. She waited so long. So long that she felt light-headed.
"I-I mean…that's what I think I mean. Offcourse you could—," she stopped then shuddered, "As in I guess you could—," she was rambling and she knew it. But she had to cover it up. That following embarrassment. Offcourse she should have known. Just because he had kissed her senseless did not mean that he actually loved her. Just because she would admit the decisions of her own heart, did not mean he would respond with the same emotion. "—you could say that I wasn't exactly thinking. Not that I never think, but—," she was cut off by smooth lips.
Smooth lips just kissing her so sweetly. So lovingly. So softly before he titled her head and opened her mouth with flourish.
She felt his claws on her cheeks. She felt his heart beating. And then he broke apart with the brightest smile on his face. With glimmering eyes and face so happy, that Kagome let herself sigh in relief. He looked almost strange.
"I knew it." He didn't give her a chance to catch her breath, but brought her into his arms. Into his hold. Into his spot of haven. "I fucking knew it." He wanted to squeeze into her heart. Squeeze into that brightness that always made him feel like the happiest hanyou.
He looked like he had been about to laugh, but his grip only tightened. He didn't say a word. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her waist and picked her up, her feet hanging a few inches above the ground before he crouched to bound up a close tree branch.
Throwing her arms around the hanyou she screamed as instincts kicked, "Ahh! Inuyasha!" Kagome dangerously leaned onto one side, her eyes measuring up the steep height. For a second she forgot about how intimate they had been. She forgot about how she had been imagining what it would feel like to kiss him. About his closeness. His touch. How delicate his lips had been. Because once her eyes fell on the grass floor that seemed miles away, she could do nothing but shut her eyes tight and hold on for dear life, "If I fall I will kill you!"
"Oi." Inuyasha only pulled her closer by the waist, then shuffled back to rest his back against the rough but dry bark, "Do you think I'd let you fall?"
"Why couldn't we have just stayed down?" her growls were muffled by his haori, but he smirked to himself.
"Because this way you'll think first before 'sitting' me."
"Inuyasha. Please—I'm slipping!" but before she actually could, he pulled her onto his lap. Then stretched his legs out, tangling her own with his.
"No you're not." He was pleased with how controlled he sounded. So pleased that couldn't help but feel restless.
Kagome found herself attempting to relax. Not completely, but she restrained herself from shuddering and whimpering at the same time. Sure she was at an odd angle, with her face in his chest and her arms tightly around him, but she didn't dare let go.
She hated heights.
No matter who it was holding her up.
She just hated the fact of not feeling the ground underneath her. Even after years of soaring into the sky on Inuyasha or even Kirara. Sitting on a tree with nothing but Inuyasha to hold onto made her queasy.
"Comfortable?" She felt his voice whisper next to her ear and for a moment she could think of millions of sarcastic comebacks.
"Yup." She squeaked instead. "Just peachy."
Kagome felt his shoulders shake when he chuckled. Then she felt her body being pulled up. And then turning around so that her head could just about lean back on his shoulder.
"We should get back." She shivered without control. In an instant, she felt him moving around, then shrugging out of his haori. Before she knew it, the thick red fabric had been draped over her. And Kagome felt like she could never be more warmer. His arms tightened around her and she felt herself unconsciously getting comfortable. "Shippou and the others…" she tried again, "They must be worried…"
"No they're not."
"Trust me. They will be soon enough."
"No." Inuyasha's stubbornness didn't budge. Then he managed to slip his fingers in between hers, "Because you're with me."
It was impossible. It was so impossible not to smile at that.
"What if I fall asleep?" she croaked nervously, "What if I fall when I'm asleep?"
"You won't." Inuyasha let his eyes close. Letting the presence of the girl he loved blanket his senses. He realized nothing could ever get better than this. No sense of victory. No fulfilling of hunger. Not even punching Sesshoumaru's face into the ground.
"Oh yeah? And why not?"
"I won't let you fall alright. Now quit squirming."
It was incredible. No matter they had kissed. No matter she had confessed her love. No matter they were in such an intimate embrace. He would always, no doubt end up ordering her around. Kagome sighed happily in the depth of his arms, and felt the butterflies in her stomach awake once again as he leaned in to kiss her neck, and then her cheek.
Kagome shifted lightly as his breath tickled behind her earlobe.
It wasn't the most romantic predicament she wanted to be in, but if it meant Inuyasha holding her all night? Then so be it.
"Kagome?" she felt him prod a claw into her palm and she stilled.
"Yeah?"
There was silence for a while. And all she could hear was his rugged hot breath fanning across her neck.
"I think I forgot to say I love you too." He whispered, pressing his face into the crook of her neck.
And she laughed. She laughed with giddiness. And although her laughter rang away into the silent misty night, it felt like music to Inuyasha's ears. She craned her neck around to kiss his lips soundly. Her heart was beating so loudly, she was surprised it hadn't jumped up her throat.
Smirking into her lips, Inuyasha let her soft floral scent waft into his nose with a conquering thought.
Now he was finally even with that mangy wolf. Because this time, he had something Kouga or any man alive could never get his hands on.
"Do you think Kagome might have gotten into trouble?" Sango murmured from behind a small shawl. Her eyes moved to the figure next to her from the dying fire.
Miroku smiled into the glowing embers, then prodded the red-head of Shippou's lightly, "As long as Inuyasha's around…I don't think so." Slowly, the monk turned around, then extended an arm to reach around the taijia, "So…now that we're finally alone aren't—,"
"Ahem." Shippou cleared his throat before Sango managed to give the monk a sharp whack behind his head.
And that, for that night, was the end of any chance of romance between the monk and demon slayer.
While a mile or two away, in the midst of branches on a particular tree, a human girl smiled in the arms of her lover. Inuyasha had managed to doze off after an hour or two of arguing and kissing. And in his tight embrace and nine feet above the ground, Kagome felt like she could never be any safer.
She hadn't fallen in love with a human or a hanyou or a demon. She had fallen in love with a boy. A self-conscious boy. A sweet, yet cruel boy. A boy who would die for her. A boy who loved her back terribly. And that was all that mattered.
Author's Note:
It's time for me to move on from writing these full of fluff oneshots. Once again, this is one of those pieces of writing I had kept uncompleted for a long time. And I thought...what the heck, let's just complete it. So there it is.
So tell me how it went. Whether it reeked from fluff-ism or whether you enjoyed it from top to bottom.