Thank you to everyone that reviewed…. It warms that tiny little heart of mine. Huggles all of you Now on to the second installment of "The Way of Slash Horror". "I'm in Heat" or "A really good way to make your character(s) at like complete and total sluts". The easiest way to get your said pairing in bed together. Usually someone gets preggers, they have a fight, get back together. Rinse, wash, and repeat. We love baby Momma drama.
Warnings: This fic contains Yaoi…. I really should have put this for the first chapter but hey better late than never right? Other warnings…Foul language maybe. No smex. Not yet anyway you're gonna have to wait. Characters kind of OOC… If anything I apologize it just came out like this ToT!
Disclaima': I don't own Naruto. Do you have to rub it in…bastards the lot of you!
Pairing: Gaara/Neji …nothing good can come of this pairing. Run to the hills!
'…' Means thinking… it's sad if you don't know that but.
"…." Means talking. I don't think you should read this if you don't know. That's really sad.
'….' Means the old biddie a.k.a. Shukaku talking… and boy does this biddie talk. Can't get him to shut up really T.T Oh the sorrow!
In Heat
"In 'Heat' an animal will seek out a 'willing' partner to reproduce. Mainly happens during mating season or when an animal comes of age." The redhead looked away from the book. 'I could have told you that much.' The tenet in Gaara's head responded. 'Oh look; you don't have to listen to me. Not like you haven't for years,' Shukaku huffed. 'But at least take what I said to heart.'
"Yeah, like I should listen to the three hundred year old voice in my head?" Gaara put the book on his desk along with other various documents. 'Not like you should talk back either. Or out loud as well.' Ever since Gaara obtained the position of Kazekage his constant need to kill had been curbed to other things like writing treaties, helping old ladies cross the street, and talking to the three hundred year old biddie in his head. Reluctantly no doubt. Not only that but with his constantly changing body he had hormones to deal with. But you see the sad thing was it was just his sexual urges that he had to deal with. No fate had to screw with him, now he had to deal with this… 'Like I said you have to solve it. You could go to that brothel up the way. Or you could just force some unsuspecting village peasant to have it with you … Mmm there is that shop owner that gives you the google eyes. Nice rack too. We could mate with that one.' A nosey, horny, old raccoon demon hell bent on getting him laid. 'Yes that shop keeper, the one that sells the fruits… She'd definitely let us have our way with her.' He did that funky laugh. "No, no, no, and no. I want nothing to do with that. As Kazekage I have to set a good example to the neighboring countries. And getting some random woman pregnant is not the example I wish to set." He got up from his very comfy chair to look out the window. A beautiful view of the village spread out into the desert came to greet him. 'You're always a party pooper. I miss the old Gaara, you know the one that killed puppies and kicked kittens. Mm yes those were the days.' Gaara sighed still looking at the village in which he sworn to protect with his life. 'Can we just kick one more kitten? Pwease…' If he didn't kill himself first that is.
"Gai-sensei! What is our mission for today!" An ecstatic Lee screamed. "Lee. Would you calm down it's 8 in the morning," Neji cringed at his teammate's energy. It was amazing the amount of energy Lee had during battles but it was damn near annoying outside of training. "Oh yes my exuberant students. The Springtime of Youth waits for no one! We must go on a mission to the Sand." Now that got the other half of the team to pay attention. "Why Gai-sensei. Isn't this a job for higher ranked shinobi?" The female of the group spoke up. "There's nothing to fear Tenten it's only a C-ranked mission. And you know about the shortage of ninja in Konoha. We must come through for the sake of our village such is the will of the ever burning flame of Justice that it holds," Lee fawned over Gai's speech. "Oh Gai-sensei those were such beautiful words!" Gai threw open his arms to welcome his student. "Lee!"
"Gai-sensei!" Even though it was 8 o'clock in the morning and the fact that they were at least 20 miles away from the nearest body of water. That still did not explain why a picturesque sunset with an ocean background complete with crashing waves mysteriously ended up behind Neji's teacher and teammate while they were crushing each other in a bone-breaking hug… 'Such things of the world shall never be explained I guess.' Neji thought. Tenten just shook her head. " Gai-sensei! Tell us the mission already," Tenten looked at a teacher pointedly. "Yes so we can get on with our lives."
"Well my dearest students as I said before we have to deliver a important document to the Kazekage himself. The contents of the said document cannot be disclosed and must be handed directly to the Kazekage." Gai finished off dramatically waving an arm in the air. Lee joined his teacher, dancing around the training field spouting off some nonsense about Youth and Happiness. But Tenten and Neji ignored that babble instead they talked amongst themselves, or at least Tenten talked. "So Neji what do you think is so important about that scroll?" The longhaired boy shrugged and continued to stare at the stupidness that was his rival and teacher. 'It's going to be a long mission… better pack something that stops headaches or maybe painkillers would be good too. Yeah,' he looked at Tenten still talking to herself, Lee now flipping across the field, and Gai-sensei… 'Yeah I'll make them strong alright.'
'So you gonna do it… I know you wanna. Come on what's wrong with just a little bloodshed every now and then, ne?' Gaara glared at his reflection in the window hoping that the demon saw it. 'Just shut up already,' an hour of the demon's constant bitching about mating this, killing that was driving him mad. 'I liked him better when he just growled at me and called it a day.' He banged his head on the glass now praying that Shukaku would stop. 'You know I always knew you were a strange boy but this takes the cake. You definitely need to mate with that female I was talking about…what was her name? Oh well like I said before that one has such nice supple...' Gaara continued his assault on the poor defenseless window. "Kaze-Gaara what the hell are you doing?" Temari screamed as she pulled her younger brother away from the now cracked window. "Trying to get him to shut up… it's not working." He sighed and pouted… or at least it looked like that to Temari. "Do you want some tea? That might help." She knew he was talking about Shukaku. She also knew that she could do nothing to help the redhead. "Yeah I'll take that and a shot of some strong alcoholic beverage."
'Ohh I haven't had a decent drink in quite some time. If it does any good we can probably take the proverbial stick out that ass of yours and finally get to mate…ahh good times.' Temari gawked at her Kazekage. "You're not serious are you?" She asked knowing well he was dead serious… It just unnerved her to no end that her little brother wanted to get plastered… Yeah that and the fact they had a conversation that lasted more than three words. 'I'm gonna regret this I know it.' She thought. "Well Gaara if you want to you can come with me an' Kankuro to the pub?"
'Haha finally I'll get to have that drink…ah nothing like some sake to lighten up the mood. You can ask out that female I was talking about, you know the one with the huge-' Gaara cut of the demons' little chat to himself. "I'll think I'll go with you."
"Great! Oh I almost forgot the Nins from the Leaf are coming tomorrow. I heard that it was that, um what's his name? You know the one with the fuzzy eyebrows," Temari gestured to her forehead mimicking the way they moved. Gaara nodded and motioned her to continue. "Well yeah his team is coming here maybe if they don't have to return to their village they could join us?"
"You're talking about Gai-sensei's team, I would think they'd like to join us…" Gaara spoke. Temari nodded and smiled. 'Oh my little brother might come back to me…' She thought while walking to the door. 'He might actually come back.'
'Hahaha! Oh this is classic you're really taking my word for once? I never thought that day would come and now to plan out who we'll mate with first…' Gaara could almost hear the gears ticking in the tanuki's head"No I only did that so she wouldn't worry. If I didn't say that she would have pestered me." He shook his head and sat back down behind his desk. 'Well like I saying before you rudely interrupted me. You could mate with that female teammate of his…the one that carries the insane amount of weapons. She has some bite in her that one would put up a good fight too.' A disapproving sigh came from the redhead. "I've never felt anything for her and any other women you try to point out to me." Shukaku snorted. 'A so you're a fag huh? I knew it. I just had to end up with a fag? I bet you want someone to mount you?' Gaara blushed a little at the demon's sudden discovery. 'Fine I'll look over that one…'problem' if it's for the greater good. I wanna mount someone already and if it's a male then dammit I'm still getting some!' If anything the demon's persistence was the least to say admirable but the bastard only put it to three things. Sex, killing, and others suffering. Although it was when he was in the last two moods that Gaara desperately tried to curb and if it meant constant hours where he'd have to deal with these new urges to protect the people of the village…then he would shut up and take it. ' Nope definitely don't want that Lee boy. He's not too easy on the eyes. Hell you'd have to be blindfolded in order to mate with that one.' But this was seriously getting annoying. 'Mmm that Neji boy's a looker. I bet your pert little ass you want him to mount you?'
"What! That's low… even for you Shukaku."
"You know you want to. Now I know why you got so 'excited' when you saw him fight."
"I didn't it was just the bloodlust…." The redhead trailed of with a bit of uncertainty. He hoped Shukaku didn't catch it but who was he to hope of a miracle. "Haha! You don't sound to sure of yourself! Well if we can get him to be our mate that would be good. But with your proficiency in dating we'd be better of feeding him to your sister." Gaara scowled at the comment about his sister but the demon was right. He couldn't woo himself out of a wet paper bag even if he was shown into the right direction. "Yes, first we have to make you look presentable. Then we have to get him alone with you…see if he's interested. If not Plan B." Gaara was almost afraid to ask the question but Shukaku beat him to it. "We get him plastered and have our way with him."
TBC
Well I hope you come back….I'm adding another chapter to this one it coincides with the next one I had in mind. This is going to be a 'twofer' if that's what you young folk call 'em now a days. Back in my d-. Gets hit in the head by Gaara Well when I'm done with this installment I would like for someone to pick out the pairing for the next chapter. Pwease Gives puppy eyes
Next chapter: "The Drunken Night Out" or "A really over used plot line…" People get drunk. Stuff gets thrown. Fights break out. Unorthodox Proclamations of Love are told. Property costs go up…. Somebody's waking up with a person they didn't expect to….
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