Hi everyone! This is the final chapter for 'Organization XIII goes to Sea World!' Why? Because Sea World is BORING and I have other plotbunnies attacking. Don't worry; you'll be seeing plenty of one-shots from me. ;) As always, cookies to the reviewers and readers!
However, I would like to say something to a few of the reviewers. Do not review if all you are going to say is "omfg, so-and-so is MINE!1 There is no way in hell they're gay!" or "I love the blah-blah/whats-his-face pairing!" or something lame like that. I love getting reviews, believe me, but I do not like those kinds. They're useless. I don't know if your feeble mind is able to comprehend this, but there's something called thinking. It's like talking to yourself without having other people hear you and think you're crazy. Try doing that. I don't want to hear you bitch about how you think Axel is yours; I'd much rather hear what you think I could improve on, or what aspects of this fic you liked. Thank you.
In other news, I'm sorry this is late. It took me a while to get into a crackfic mood. Disclaim'd for the last time.
Axel searched the stadium nervously, moving his head in every direction, hoping to catch sight of anything resembling a mullet or a mohawk. Or both. Unfortunately, he couldn't see. Damn that random vendor dude blocking his view. Axel wanted to take one of those novelty cups he had and dump the soda inside on the idiot's head. Oooh, that sounded like fun. No time for that! He had to find Demyx!
Roxas whispered. "What the shit is wrong with you, Axel! You let Demyx get away!" Axel growled. "I didn't do anything; quit blaming ME for all your damn problems!" Roxas mumbled. "This is not happening."
"It's safe to assume you found Demyx, right? Oh god, he's not naked is he!" Even though Axel did like the mental image of a naked Demyx (who doesn't?), this was no time for perverted thoughts, and he really didn't like the idea of Demyx running around naked. In public. He shuddered at the thought.
Roxas shook his head. "No, it's even worse. Look who's on stage."
"...Well. This sucks," Xaldin muttered.
"What really sucks is that you still won't let go of my damn ear!" Xigbar hinted. Xaldin squeezed his ear tighter. "Owwww! Dude, cut it out! It's not like I need another scar!"
Xaldin whacked Xigbar on the head. "Stupid."
"Oww! What was that one for! I swear, if I had a five-munny coin for every time you whacked me on the head like that, I'd have at least a year's supply of booze!" The author is well aware of the fact that munny is not coins, but rather those little diamond things. Sssh.
"The show's started. We can't get in." Xaldin replied, trying to maintain his temper.
Xigbar smirked. "I have an idea." Xaldin shook his head. "But it means you'll have to be willing to use your powers. Mildly."
Xaldin didn't know what to do. Xemnas' philosophy has always been "Respect your elders! Respect your Superiors! Or else!" and Xaldin had always followed that. But now he started to doubt himself. Surely there's an exception when the Superior you have to respect is XIGBAR? Ugh. I guess he had to for the time being, but he was definitely going to ask Xemnas about bending the rule a bit.
"Alright. What is it?" Xaldin hated giving in. And giving in to Xigbar didn't exactly help either.
"Sorry, you can't go in here," a wary employee said. Well, the way he stated it almost sounded like he suggested it rather than stated it. He gulped. "The show's already started. The next one will start in about forty-five minutes."
Saïx was not amused, nor was Xemnas. But on the other hand, Saïx was never amused (versus Xemnas, who is both easily amused and amusing). Not only was Saïx not amused (the author cursed Microsoft word for saying that "unamused" is not a real word), he was intimidating. He scared the pants off of the random employee person.
"We will be entering the stadium," he said icily. Xemnas pat his company's shoulder. His hand snuck down lower, and lower, and lower yet... and then Saïx shoved it away harshly. "Whether you like it or not," Xemnas added.
The poor man gulped. Why did a blue-haired elf scare him? Sheesh. He should've been laughing his ass off instead of cowering in fear. But he wasn't and he was terrified; that's the way it was and would be. "G-go ahead, sirs..."
The two began strolling in. Xemnas grabbed Saïx by the waist, and again, his hand crept lower and lower... Within a second, a good portion of Xemnas' face was black and blue.
Then the employee laughed. In fact, he was laughing so hard, he was clutching his sides on the ground and crying like an idiot. Wow. If only Larxene was there; she'd have fun blackmailing the guy.
Vexen sighed. It was hot out. And his two best friends (even though one is really more than just a friend, not like he'd ever admit it though) were eating ice cream. He didn't like ice cream, but when Lexaeus and Zexion were eating it, it was almost like an art. Well, not when Zexion ate it; the young man gulped it down like he was going to die tomorrow.
His newfound guilty pleasure would have to be watching Lexaeus eat ice cream. He took a quaint little cup filled with little balls of vanilla (remember, they went to a Dip n' Dots), the smallest size they had. Lexaeus didn't really like ice cream either, but he was really hot out and if they were already at the ice cream place, he thought why the hell not.
Then there was Zexion. Zexion loved ice cream, almost as much as he loved science. The author almost said "and Demyx" but she respects the fact that not everyone here is a Zemyx fan. Zexion was the only person Vexen and Lexaeus knew—this includes Roxas—who had tried all thirty-one flavors, and came up with a thirty-second. Despite his usual, slow, almost cautious way of doing things, Zexion ate ice cream like a pig. It was almost... disgusting to watch. But it wasn't, it was fascinating. Especially when placed next to Lexaeus, who was eating as slowly as humanly possible. Little did Zexion know that the reason Lexaeus was eating so slowly was because of him. It was making him sick.
Lexaeus pushed his tiny plastic cup away from himself. "I think I've had enough," he could've sworn he heard his stomach make unpleasant noises. Zexion eyed the cup. "So you're not gonna eat it?" Lexaeus nodded.
"Can I have it?" Lexaeus groaned as his stomach ached. "You've had two of their largest cups, and you're still hungry?"
Zexion didn't care how immature he looked, sounded, or acted. All he cared about was his ice cream. Not Lexaeus', not Lexaeus himself, not Vexen, just him and his ice cream. In fact, he didn't hear Lexaeus' question. The scent of ice cream filled his nose, much to his delight. Sometimes it was nice to have such a powerful sense of smell.
Little did Axel, Roxas, and the missing Demyx know that members of another trio were near them; however, that trio knew Axel and Roxas were there. Not Demyx. But Marluxia was the one to break the walls between the two groups. "AXEL!" he hissed. "GET OVER HERE YOU PORCUPINE-HAIRED RENO WANNABE!"
Axel was too busy looking for Demyx to notice the other man's threat. But then he heard "Reno wannabe." He twitched. "ARLIGHT, WHO THE HELL LET FLOWERBOY IN HERE!"
Roxas tugged on Axel's sleeve. "Can it! You're causing a scene dumbass."
"As if my hair alone didn't cause a scene. It doesn't matter."
However, Roxas is no idiot; he was right—the two caused quite a scene. Such a scene that the entire show stopped. The trainer people stood in awe watching a pink and red haired man yelling back and forth at each other. It was amusing to say the least. However, the poor, poor whale did not realize the show was stopping temporarily and nudged its nose into a trainer, demanding fish as a reward for doing spiffy flips. The whale was so annoyed he nudged a bit too hard and knocked over the trainer. Larxene laughed.
"I guess show is more amusing than I anticipated," she commented while snorting.
"Hey," Luxord started, poking Larxene's shoulder (a deathwish). "Look at one of those trainers down there. Doesn't she seem peculiarly familiar?"
"Holy shit," Larxene said, rubbing her eyes. "You're right!"
"This is the lamest. Plan. EVER." Xaldin moaned. "Oh, hush! It'll work at least!" Xigbar snapped. Xaldin lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? So you finally decided to act like second-in-command?" "Can it."
Xaldin had finally released his grip on Xigbar's ear; much to the latter's pleasure. He rubbed it. "So. Pick a stall. Any stall."
"..."
"Seriously. And then teleport from in there. No one will know we used our powers! There won't be a trace of us anywhere. Not even fingerprints; we're still wearing this damn gloves."
The author twitched. THE OOCNESS BURNS! Then she was stabbed several times with pretty, sharp objects for interrupting the story and coming up with the LAMEST. "PLAN." EVER.
Ahem. Yes. Back to the story.
"I don't think we should be doing this..." Xaldin warned.
"Oh, c'mon! It's not like we're gonna tell ol' Mansex."
"...Mansex...?"
"What? You mean you've never heard of Xemnas' nickname?" Xigbar asked, rather shocked. His one good eye was opened wide.
Xaldin shook his head. "No."
Xigbar didn't know whether to laugh or to point and stare at Xaldin like he belonged in the fun house. Instead, he twitched.
Xaldin answered for him. "I do now, though." He thought for a second and then smirked. "And you know what I just realized, Xigbar?"
"What?"
"Your name spells out 'Bigrax.'"
Xigbar glared daggers at the younger Nobody. "Tell anyone and you're dead." The younger man simply smirked in return and they set their 'plan' in motion.
SPLASH!
Xemnas was soaked. So soaked that the pointy part of his hair fell limp. In contrast, there was Saïx next to him, perfectly dry and stoic as ever. Neither of them were having a good time. Xemnas came to this so he could see Saïx soaking wet, not himself! But, mmm... wet Saïx... that was a nice mental image for Xemnas.
"Stupid dolphins..." Xemnas muttered. "I'm fucking freezing." He shivered. How was it humanly possible for him to be soaking wet from head to toe while the man next to him was as dry as possible.
"Honestly, Xemnas. It's ninety-five degrees outside. Here, borrow my coat." Saïx began unzipping his outer layer slowly, much to his pleasure. Goddammit, why did Xemnas make the Organization wear those things in the summer? He could at least use a lighter fabric!
Xemnas was a happy boy. He had never seen Saïx take off his coat in such a slow, careful, almost teasing, manner. Saïx took his arms out of the sleeves and wrapped his cloak around Xemnas' shoulders. Xemnas blushed. Not only did his beloved touch him (he wanted to squeal like a little girl), but he was only wearing a thin, white tank top underneath. Xemnas could've stared at him for hours, no – DAYS on end.
Saïx watched the show with no amusement as Xemnas watched it with little. He was too busy off in "OH MY GAWD SAЇX TOUCHED ME OH MY GAWD" fangirl lala-land to care about it though. And yes, I just put "Xemnas" and "fangirl" in the same sentence. Go me.
Xemnas leaned on Saïx's shoulder. The blue-haired man shuddered; he didn't like being touched. "Don't move..." the Superior whispered into the younger Nobody's arm. The elf simply obeyed his request.
Roxas stared at the stage, ignoring his "quest" for Demyx. He rubbed his eyes; he could not believe what he was seeing. "N...Naminé?" He stared down to see the little blonde girl in a wet suit that seemed twice her size.
Unfortunately for Roxas, Namine locked eyes with him. "OH FUCK," Roxas grabbed Axel's wrist. "Hide me."
Axel sighed. "And why should I? Especially after the mean things you said..."
"I'LL BUY YOU CANDY! I'LL LET YOU TOP NEXT TIME! ANYTHING!"
Axel sniggered. "Oh how the tides have turned. Usually I'm the one begging you. I'll take great pleasure in this, Roxy."
"Roxas... It really is you!" Naminé said. The only reason she was audible was because she had one of those microphone headset things on her at the time. "I can't believe it!" Roxas blushed. First he had to be seen in public with Axel, Demyx disappeared, and now Naminé! Could this day get any worse!
Larxene shook her head and blinked several times. "You mean Naminé is ALIVE! After she went through my torture chamber at least five times – she's still ALIVE!" She twitched. "LEMME AT HER! I WILL NOT GO HOME FROM THIS PLACE UNTIL SHE'S DEAD!"
Marluxia paused his argument with Axel for the moment, to hold her back, rather calmly. "Chill out. And do you want to be taken away to federal prison? You can't kill people in public, you know."
Little did Marluxia know it was all his damn fault Larxene hated Naminé so much. Aside from the fact that she was so innocent, and naive that it made Larxene sick. And then he had the nerve to use her as part of his "plan" to overthrow Xemnas. Larxene was a girl, too. (Yes, that means she is NOT a boy. Get it right.) Meaning, Larxene was rather sensitive to the amount of attention she got. And having Naminé get more than her made her want to explode. Or kill things. Whichever worked. Why couldn't Marluxia pay more attention to her for once? And not when he just had to stop her from doing something really dumb and involving much blood. Why couldn't he just comfort her? Not that Larxene needed comforting. She would just kill whoever discomforted her in the first place. But still. A girl could dream, couldn't she?
Luxord watched Naminé, almost studied her. "The girl seems to have a thing for our own number thirteen. Really has a thing for him. Axel must hate her with his life."
Instead of continuing to shout across the stadium like they were just doing, Axel somehow managed to get over to where Marluxia, Larxene, and Luxord were sitting. He overheard Luxord's last comment. "It's true that I don't like Naminé, but that's not why. And do any of you know where the fuck Demyx went! Roxas and I have been looking around the entire damn stadium and we couldn't find a trace of him."
Number ten pondered for a second. "Do you think...Maybe that Naminé girl kidnapped Demyx? To get attention from Roxas?"
Axel twitched. "I don't think Naminé has the stamina to kidnap anyone. Even though if she bribed him with something, namely... candy, sitar polish, or a new instrument that's just WAITING to be burned, he wouldn't be that hard to kidnap."
Luxord nodded. "But the boy does have good instincts. And he's not stupid."
Axel shot him a glare. "Don't refer to him as 'the boy.' Who do you think you are, DiZ? Yeesh. And don't forget that he— and I—are your superiors. In fact, out of everyone here, I am the superior." Axel let out a triumphant smirk.
"You're right. You are the superior of us; you're the oldest. Congratulations, Grandpa," Marluxia let out an eerily happy grin as Axel twitched.
"Don't you dare compare me to them Flowerboy!"
"I just did, though." Ohohoho, Marluxia. You're so sneaky.
Roxas kicked Axel in the back of the leg. "We're. Supposed. To. Be. Looking. For. Demyx."
"Owww, Roxas! That hurt. Alright, alright. We'll get to it now."
"Sitarboy's gone missing?" Larxene asked with mild curiosity. "In a water-themed park? I can't say I'm surprised."
Vexen was thankful. He was thankful that Zexion finally finished his ice cream. "Where should we go now?"
Lexaeus couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. Vexen was having a horrible day; first Demyx torturing him in the gummi ship, then the rapids ride, and finally, the ice cream. Lexaeus wasn't entirely happy either, but he wasn't complaining either (until he saw Zexion eating ice cream, that is). "Whatever you want, Vexen."
"I want to get out of this wretched rat hole," he snapped. He then realized that Lexaeus would then lecture him on how blah blah blah, they can't leave just quite yet. To prevent it, he added, "Or at least find the Superior."
Zexion glanced at Vexen, and then turned his head to Lexaeus. "We are not looking for the Superior," he snarled. "OR Saïx."
It was safe to say Zexion did NOT like Xemnas and Saïx. The reason is simply, he and Xemnas, much like Marluxia and Axel, have unresolved sexual tension to resolve. Zexion was ashamed to admit that as Ienzo and Xehanort, he and Xemnas were lovers. And although he was not Ienzo, he was Zexion and no one else, he still felt a lingering longing to be with Xemnas. However, Xemnas didn't; he found a new love with Saïx.
In fact, Xemnas had this nasty habit of staying as far away from Zexion as humanly possible. Zexion was jealous that Saïx so easily earned Xemnas' trust he longed for. And although Zexion found a new love with Demyx, he still wanted Xemnas. Just to prove to Saïx that he was better than him. But no matter how hard poor
Zexion tried, Saïx always won.
Vexen sniggered. That just made him want to find the Superior even more; flustering Zexion was oh so much fun.
"Let's get out of here," Xemnas murmured, throwing Saïx's coat off himself. Saïx grabbed his sleeve. "We can't, not until the show is over. They locked us in."
The older Nobody growled. "Then we'll go to the back of the stadium, way up high." He pointed behind them. "No one will see us teleporting from up there. That's why so many couples make out up—" His mind temporarily visited the nice thought of making out with Saïx and he began to drool. He then realized he stopped mid sentence and wiped the drool from the side of his mouth. "—there... And besides, if they saw us there, they couldn't stop the show just because of us."
Saïx doubted it was a good idea, but followed. He never doubted Xemnas; he never had, and he never would. If Xemnas said, "let's dye our hair purple, green, and neon pink and our nails glow-in-the-dark purple!" Saïx would've done just that without a question, despite the obvious amount of blackmail he would get.
They teleported out and all was good. Strolling along, they managed to stumble into three familiar forms.
"Well, well," Zexion started, casting a glare at Saïx. "We meet again."
Saïx met his glare, but ignored it. He was mature, wasn't he? No, not really. No one is ever mature.
Vexen walked over to Xemnas. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you!" Xemnas let out a faint smile. The younger man decided to be blunt and suggested, "Let's get out of here. Right now."
Xemnas nodded. "This place... isn't serving in my best interest. Once we round everyone up, we'll go. Alright, number four?" Vexen nodded furiously.
Xigbar and Xaldin were now sitting somewhat peacefully in the stadium where the Shamu show was shown (whatever it may be called). They saw Axel, Marluxia, and the others beneath them. They also saw Naminé. Xigbar watched those beneath them with some interest. "Hey," he started. Xaldin faced him. Please oh god, PLEASE, do not bring up penguins or turtles!
"Wasn't... the shrimp with Axel and Roxas? 'Cause he's not with them." 'The shrimp' was Xigbar's nickname for Demyx.
Xaldin's eyes bulged. "They lost number nine? Oh, I should know better than to trust Axel!"
The dragoon grabbed the surfer/elf/pirate's ear again, and while one ran down the stairs as fast as humanly possible, the other was dragged. "OW! FUCK IT, XALDIN! NOT AGAIN!"
"Axel!" Axel turned around at the sound of his name. "Oh, it's you guys."
Panting, Xaldin interrogated, "WHERE THE SHIT IS DEMYX!"
Axel shrugged. "Watch your language, Xaldin. You're always telling me to mind mine. Marluxia's, too."
"That's besides the point!" The dragoon snapped. "Where. Is. Number. Nine!"
Axel was getting ticked off now. Why did everyone blame him for everything! Okay, sure, he wasn't the most trustworthy guy around, but he was really only a disaster when Marluxia or Roxas was around. "Gee...I just don't know."
Xigbar twitched. "YOU BASTARD! YOU STOLE MY LINE!"
Axel snorted. Xigbar was so amusing, no matter what he did. "As if!" he replied simply, moving his shoulders in the same way Xigbar usually did.
"You are so dead, you little twerp!" Xaldin restrained Xigbar from Axel as the pyro laughed.
"Axelll!" Roxas kicked him again. "This is no time to be screwing around! Demyx is missing, and Naminé is making kissy faces at me!"
Suddenly, Naminé said something not-Roxas related. "And now... Please welcome our BIGGEST whale!" Everyone either stopped their quarreling or continued watching the show. A black blob was seen zipping across the water. Suddenly it shot out, a blonde boy riding it. The whale shot back into the water, the person with it. A body of water soaked those in the... well, soak zone.
"DEMYX!"
Soon the show was over, and everyone came out, including Demyx.
"Dude, what were you DOING!" Axel asked bitterly. "Apparently, I was in charge of you, and then you just disappear like that!"
Demyx pouted. "It's not like you care anyway."
Before things got even worse, Xaldin stepped in the middle of things, giving Demyx his coat ("Thanks, Xaldin.") "How did you get to ride a whale in the first place?"
"Yeah, dude, that was pretty sweet. You got some wicked moves," Xigbar patted Demyx's back over and over.
Demyx hugged Xaldin's coat closer to him and responded. "Axel and Roxas were boring me, and so I explored a little. I went to where they kept the whales and someone noticed me. They noticed the whales and I had some sort of connection, and asked if I was any good with water. 'AM I EVER!' I answered. And then she let me into the show."
"...And how tall was this girl?" Luxord asked.
Demyx shrugged. "Not much taller than Rox here." Roxas gave Demyx a death glare; not only did he scare the living shit out of him disappearing like that, but he did NOT like being called short.
"What colour was her hair?" Marluxia asked, building off of Luxord's question. He knew what Luxord wanted to find out.
"It was a pastel yellow. She had peculiarly pale skin, too."
Larxene grinned. "Can I kill Naminé now, Marluxia? Can I? PLEEEAASE?" Larxene didn't know why she was asking permission. Maybe because Marluxia needed her for his plan of world domination.
"No," he replied; Larxene moped. "But I'll let you send her to your chamber for a little bit." Her face lit up.
After little walking, that group ran into Xemnas' and Vexen's groups, which were now one (much to Saïx and Zexion's displeasure).
"ZEXY!" Demyx glomped Zexion.
"Demyx."
"Uh-huh, Zexy. What is it?"
"You're soaking wet. And you stench of ocean water." Zexion attempted to move Demyx off of him; he didn't want to get his hair wet. Apparently Demyx didn't understand Zexion's implication of "get the hell off of me." He was too nice to say that, though.
"Welll, that's because I was part of the Shamu show! You should've seen me!"
"Uh-huh. Now get off of me, Demyx, before I catch a cold."
"And he did that without asking or telling anyone," Xaldin informed Xemnas. "I assume he'll be punished?"
Saïx smirked, but Xemnas stepped in front of him and his devious thoughts. "We'll see."
Vexen eyed everyone nervously. "So... can we go now?"
"But we never even got stuff at the gift shops!" Xigbar moped.
Axel eyed the bags he and Roxas were carrying. "I think we have enough stuff for everyone." Xigbar raised his eyebrows. "And we do have a turtle plushie, Xigbar," Demyx replied. "I got that one just for you!" The elf beamed.
"Alright everyone," Xemnas began. "We're leaving now," Saïx took the liberty of finishing Xemnas' sentence.
And now is the time the story switches from past tense to present tense.
Dinnertime with Organization XIII is always a strange affair. But, they're strange (and that's what makes them so loveable). From Xigbar stuffing food into his mouth and nearly choking on it to Axel's constant hitting on Roxas, everyone finds it strange, but that's what makes it fun.
However, tonight dinner is different; it's awkward. It's silent. Demyx can't stand this silence. He'd much rather have the constant bickering and loss of food on someone's face than this terrible, overwhelming silence. He tries to start a conversation.
"So, Xemnas," he laughs nervously. "I hear Disneyland's a great—"
"I think I'm all theme park'd out," Axel replies, leaning back in his chair and placing his feet on the table. He pats his hands on his stomach.
Demyx cuts a reasonably sized piece of steak and plops it into his mouth. While chewing and swallowing, he thinks. After swallowing, he says something else. "I hear the beach is great this time—"
"No, Demyx."
So, that's it for "Organization XIII Goes to SeaWorld!" I hope you enjoyed it. :) I am very proud of myself (not) for putting a little bit of Zexmyx in this chapter. I love that couple. Anyway.
I don't think I even need to say it: reviews are awesome and those who do review will get several types of dessert. Thank you, guys! You are all AWESOME!
I will be writing several one-shots in the future. Check 'em out once they're posted!