Epilogue: Up Above The Clouds There Is Always A Blue Sky

Losing him made me realise a lot of things. Nothing had ever hurt me more than when my mother died. After that I cut myself off, it was the only way I knew of not getting hurt. I didn't realise that meant I would have no real friends, I didn't realise that without true feelings then the only thing you have left to feel is the greatest loss of all; the loss of others' understanding. I lost my brother, my old friends. I was a loner. Cut off and alone. Sure I had my cool, my style and all the admirers that came with it. But none of them were friends with anything more than my flare. Until my Tux. He came and he was friends with the real me. He only ever saw the real me. He showed me secrets, dreams…he showed me magic. He showed me the real him. Something no one had ever trusted me with before. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. He keeps me grounded, keeps me sane.

When I lost him it was like losing my mother all over again. I lost hope, I lost my will, I lost my strength. But this time I didn't cut myself off from my emotions; I cut myself off from my rationality. And somehow or other I lost sight of the fact that Misto would never strand me with no options. Never. Not even if it was out of his hands would he leave me with the risk of being broken again like I was when I was younger. He was still there, in a sort of way. And also, my brother was still there. And he kept me sane, did Munk. I think the Tux knew he would. Jemima showed me what to do, but it was Munk that showed me I could do it. With a little help from my tux.

He said to me the other day "Up above there clouds there is always a blue sky." Now I don't know for sure what that means. But I think he's trying to tell me that no matter how dark things get in this life, somewhere out there there's light. Whether it's a sunflower, or whether it's just a brand new day. Even when you lose someone close to you, there will always be people around you to help you pick up the pieces of your life and help you remember those you lost as if they're still running through the forest and catching the light as they try to dodge your vision. And one day you might catch them, if you can.