Disclaimer: I love you J. K. Rowling! Don't sue me or steal my underwear! I haven't stolen your characters, merely borrowed them for an undeterminable amount of time. He he he

So here we go

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He looked out at the lake from the Astronomy Tower and watched her with her beau jealously. Unkowning of their dark stalker, Hermione and Ron shared a kiss, one filled with the innocence and exuberance of youthful love. He closed his eyes and turned away quickly as if he could shut the image out of his head or imagine it was his lips that sweetly lingered on hers instead of that dimwitted creature. But he knew that she could never love a greasy bat like himself, that he would be forever regulated to the coldness of his dungeon and shower.

"Hey, you spelled unknowing wrong in chapter six and you have just really screwed over this one sentence grammatically."

"Shut it, I'm in the middle of describing Severus brood in chap eight. I'm trying to put myself in the moment."

The Anonymous Harry Potter Fanfic writer's Beta rolled her eyes half in amusement and half in annoyance. Men just don't brood as much as these Severus/Hermione fans make them out to, in fact men just don't have that much active thought capability. Sure, they stare, but in reality there's just not much going on up in the upper room. It's just staring… and sometimes drooling.

This Beta had serious doubts that Severus, even as smart as he was, probably wasn't much different than most men. Especially if he was lusting after a 17-year-old. But she wasn't going to break that to the Anonymous Harry Potter fanfic writer so she continued to review her current story.

Only a few feet away from the lovelorn Potions master, Harry and Draco Malfoy were snuggled close under the confines of Harry's invisibility cloak.

"Oh Harry, I've missed you. It's been too long since we last saw each other."

Harry pulled Draco closer. "I know, my love. If only your father weren't a Deatheater."

"Yes, and if you only weren't The-Boy-Who-Lived we could be together without having to guise our relationship with hate and prejudice."

"Um, I have a quick question. How come Harry and Draco are having an involved conversation 'only a few feet away from the lovelorn Potions Master' and yet he can't hear them?

The Anonymous Harry Potter Fanfic writer looked up shocked and angry that her Beta had brought her out of her angsty concentration yet again. " He's brooding! Sevie isn't aware of the world around him when he broods about Hermione!"

"Ri-ight."

"Ok, so no more questions, I'm working on the brooding!"

"Um, I have another quick question… then you can go back to the brooding. Why are Harry and Draco gay?"

"Don't you think they're just perfect for each other!" The Anonymous Harry Potter fanfic writer squealed with glee, her eyes shone with an expectant gleam that her Beta would agree with her idiotic assumption over the homoerotic destiny she had planned for Harry and Pookie.

"Um… No. I just don't get it. Harry has pined over several females during the series and I just don't think he's gay. Plus he and Draco hate each other, Harry might want to hex his ass, but I don't think he wants Draco's ass. Why would you choose to have them pursue a relationship?"

"'Cause they're so CUTE!"

The Beta signed with exhaustion, "Honey, not every cute guy is gay. If they were I would just buy twenty-seven cats and give up now."

"Listen, it's my fic not yours, you just have to beta it for me, okay?"

"You're right. I'm going back to reading it now"

She turned back to the computer screen to continue to peruse the Anonymous Harry Potter fanfic writer's piece; she was just going to skip the Harry/Draco scene. You can't polish crap.

Hermione turned away from Ron. Sure she liked him and everything, but she kept thinking of Professor Snape every time she was with Ron. Ron was cute, but he didn't have the undeniable attractiveness or angst that Professor Snape possessed. His dark features and maturity called to her and she knew that deep in her soul she really loved her potions teacher.

Ron could not enjoy his sweet kiss with Hermione either. He kept thinking about Luna Lovegood. The way she collected bottle caps make her appear lovely and irresistible to him.

The Beta began to massage her temple, nothing was making any sense. She began to regret choosing Creative Writing as her major; she didn't think she could take any more "creative" writing for much longer. If only she had been a theatre major, she could have been able to put up with any crap somebody threw at her as art. However, she decided to keep reading and repeated the mantra "this is not my fic, this is not my fic" over and over again in her head.

Severus had had enough of Ron and Hermione's little tawdry display. He was going to storm down and rip Ron from her arms and make Hermione his forever! OH! But if only he weren't a Deatheater. She would never love him as his past was too dark and rife with sin. Sadly he leaned on wall of the Astronomy tower deflated with despair and angst. He began to brood…

"THAT'S IT! I can't take the brooding!"

The Beta reader growled with frustration and beat her head against the monitor.

"What's wrong? The brooding is the most important part of Severus's character."

"It's not just the brooding, your plot doesn't make any sense. I'm not even sure you have a plot. You're just making random nonsensical relationships between the characters!"

The anonymous Harry Potter fanfic writer was aghast, "They are not random! Severus and Hermione are perfect for each other."

"How?"

"They're both smart! And-"

"Professor McGonagall is clever and intelligent also, but Hermione and she aren't have any lesbian angst! Just admit it, it doesn't make any sense."

"They could be attracted to each other!" The Anonymous Harry Potter fanfic writer defended.

"How? He's FORTY-something and she's a student. If there's potential attraction, then he's a pedophile and she's desperate!"

"That's not true-"

"Yes it is, and none of your other pairing make any sense either. Harry and Draco are not homosexuals, nothing against that sexuality mind you, and Ron and Luna aren't –"

"Ron and Luna are soul mates!" The Anonymous Harry Potter fanfic writer defied passionately.

"SHE'S INSANE! No normal 17year-old boy wants to shag someone who collects bottle caps. It's not sexy. It's not attractive. Just admit it, your fic doesn't have a plot and is just a sci-fi harlequin romance gone bad. It's terrible."

"I already have 500 reviews."

The Beta hung her head in defeat. Maybe that's all fanfic readers wanted: Gay, absurd crap.

"Fine, I'm going to finish going over your story and then I need you to beta mine. It's new." The Beta said as she ventured her eyes agonizingly back over to the computer screen which held the offending fanfic.

"Oh good, what's it about?" "The anonymous Harry Potter fanfic writer asked as she went back to her brooding.

"It's a torrid romance between Mad-Eye Moody and Professor McGonagall."

"Hm, sounds good."

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Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it my little ditty! Please leave a review in the box ( or a twenty).

Thank you again!

-Sol en la Noche