Chapter 39: Random Encounters

Thank you all for your patience! And now, for the chapter 39!

Disclaimer: I do not own NGE, Gainax does. I do own all original characters though, and if there is any resemblence to real people or to characters in other stories, it is merely coincidence.

Preread by YouarenotasrandomasI

Now, on with the show!

In a darkened room, twelve monoliths, each with its own individual number from one to twelve, spoke in regards to the situation at hand.

"The seventeenth has made contact with one of the Avatars," Seven said, "They attempted to coerce him to join them."

Number Six then spoke up with a vicious snarl, "Tabris had best not forget his role in our scenario."

"Never fear," One reassured, "His freedom is why he was selected. He must follow the destiny of his kind, yet he is allowed to do as he pleases. By befriending Ikari's son, he will break him and lead our scenario back on schedule."

"Ah, but freedom is a double-edged sword."

There was shocked silence as a figure appeared in the center of the circle of monoliths. Getting over the shock, one of them shouted for guards to remove the intruder. When no one came into the room, he returned to shocked silence.

Laughing wildly, the intruder said, "I just gave them the freedom to do what they wish. You'd be surprised how many of them wanted a vacation. Work on your vacation clause in your contracts; otherwise you'll have a lot of grumpy guards."

"Why are you here Avatar?" One said menacingly, hoping to intimidate him. He was therefore disconcerted when the man just chuckled.

"Avatar? Nope!" the figure then proceeded to spin himself in a circle, arms stretched wide.

"Wheeeeee!"

The members of Seele then proceeded to watch as the young man giggled and spun around like a five year old boy. After a moment, the person stopped and stared right back at them.

"Oh I can see the looks of confusion on your faces," he said with a smirk, "And I know, it's confusing. I'm confused too! In fact, I get confused a lot."

There was a look of intense thought as the young man continued to babble on, "Confusion is such an oddity. But it's normal for anyone to get confused. Bemused, bewildered, puzzled, etc."

"What are you babbling about?" Ten said with a tone of wariness in his voice.

"Eh," he responded, as though only just noticing them, "Oh, wow! A ring of floating monoliths!"

"Identify yourself at once," One demanded in the most authoritarian voice he could muster.

Lesser men would have cowered before the voice of the would-be god, but the young man before him merely smirked. Spinning around once more, the man spoke to them, the seriousness in his voice that did not match his childish antics.

"I am simply the freest person in all of existence," he stated simply, "And I will topple your empire like a block tower a child would build."

As though to emphasize his point, he threw a couple of blocks into the air, juggling them before dropping them. Then with a cheery wave he kicked the blocks around.

"A question for you," he said in a gleeful voice, "What would you call a free person, one who was free from everything?"

"A fool," was One's immediate response.

"Me," the other said, "I am bound by nothing. Yet, that presents my paradox: How does one who can't be bound by anything be described as anything but chaos? I am unbound, yet still bound by my ideas of my shape. So like the saying goes, the mind is no more than the plaything of the body."

With that, the man bowed, and then disappeared, his voice echoing his last words, "Freedom will prevail. As will Love, Friendship, Courage, and so forth."

There was silence before One spoke again, "This meeting is at an end. We will have to continue at another tome. Find our guards and have them disposed and replaced immediately."

And then there was darkness and silence.

Avatar Base

It was the weekend, and the morning was mostly quiet. The quiet sounds were very lulling, inviting more sleep. To Shinji, who was holding a cuddling Asuka, he would love to do nothing more than that, but he smelled something in the air that caused him to gulp in dread.

Gently pulling himself away from his sleeping beauty, Shinji tiptoed out the door to their room and down the hallway. There, he could see a small, but very noticeable, trail of smoke coming from the kitchen.

"Who in the world?"

No one dared to allow Misato to cook, and everyone was, to a degree, adept at the ways of the kitchen. So it came as a surprise to see smoke coming from what smells to be burning…cereal?

And lo and behold, he saw a bowl filled to the brim with cereal and milk that was somehow smoldering. His jaw dropping, Shinji looked up to see an odd man with a bemused expression on his face.

The young man appeared to be no more than twenty. His black hair was spiked and pointing in all directions. He also possessed black eyes that sparkled with unheard laughter at a secret joke only he knew. Turning to face the boy, the man smiled and then chuckled.

"Burnt cereal?" he asked with a joking tone.

Shinji stared at him, then to the bowl, filled with milk, that was somehow still smoking. He could even see a few embers floating in the milk.

"Ok, what's burning?"

Sai stepped into the kitchen and wrinkled his nose at the smoke in the air, "Dear lord, what is that?"

"Toast?"

Stopping dead in his tracks, Sai looked up to see the odd man that Shinji had noted as well. Jaw dropping, the Avatar rubbed his eyes before starting anew.

"You?!"

Sticking his tongue out, the man then took a deep breath. Sensing the impending shout, Shinji covered his ears in time to save his eardrums from the ensuing shout.

"RISE AND SHINE. WAKEY WAKEY, EGGS AND BACY!!"

There was an assortment of cries of shock and shrieks of surprise as people started to clamber out of their rooms.

"What was that for?" Shara grumbled irritably, "It's Saturday, and it's not even noon."

"I didn't," Sai replied, rubbing his ears, "It was him!"

The man had vanished. The young kunoichi rolled her eyes as she stared at the bowl, still smoldering, on the countertop.

"What's that, one of Kaitos' experiments?"

"Please," the cripple replied dryly, "I at least put away stuff if I finished with an experiment."

Asuka, who was grumpy at being forcibly woken and hunger, turned her ire onto Shinji.

"What's going on?" she said, grabbing his shirt, "Why'd you wake us up?"

"YAHOOOOO~"

Everyone jumped and turned to see a man standing on the ceiling. The reactions were very mixed. The older Avatars had looks of shock and horror, while the younger ones seemed to be a mixture of amusement and bewilderment.

To the staff of Nerv, they were absolutely confused. And Misato made her confusion known.

"Who is that, and why is he sticking to the ceiling?"

"Oh," the man said in a casual tone, "I'm not on the ceiling."

Before anyone could reply, Iark, Hunter, and Cairn all shouted frantically, "YES YOU ARE!!"

Looking 'down' then 'up', the man opened his mouth in mock shock. He then summarily fell on his head to the floor.

The younger Avatars chuckled slightly as the older ones shook their heads in exasperation. The others were getting more confused.

"What the hell is going on?" the red-head demanded.

"Oh it's very easy," the man said, suddenly appearing behind her, "I'm their boss, so to speak, and I came to visit them."

The girl jumped in surprise, grabbing hold of Shinji. The man chuckled wildly as he proceeded to handstand on the wall.

"He's the strongest being in all of existence," a voice suddenly announced from nowhere, "the one with the most freedom, the first to see infinity, and has the most friends ever!"

All of the lights went out and a spotlight shone 'down' on the man. Fireworks burst behind him as a loud fanfare played from nowhere. Then neon lights lit up behind him, spelling the word 'First'.

"Council number One," the announcer said again, "The one, and only, KAI!!"

There was applause, not coming from anyone in the group, and the fanfare reached their crescendo as Kai took a bow.

And just as suddenly as it started, it ended. Everything suddenly returned to normal as though none of it ever actually occurred. Dazed, Misato stepped past Kai, grabbed a can of beer, popped it and downed it in a single gulp.

"Okay," she said, having some alcohol in her system, "What was that?"

"My introduction," Kai said, "Too much too soon?"

"YES!"

Jerking his head around, he saw the irritated looks on the faces of the older Avatars. He then proceeded to weep and mope.

"But, but, it was a good intro…"

Deadpanning, Asuka asked, "This baka is your boss?"

Groaning, Hunter answered, "Unfortunately, yes. Meet Kai, the First Council, and the nuttiest guy you'll never meet."

"Huh?"

Jumping to his feet, the self-proclaimed freest man began to circle the two pilots. He looked them up and down. He stopped and nodded, apparently satisfied with what he'd seen.

"Ah love," he said in a sappy voice, "What wonders it is. It makes me want to sing."

"NO SINGING!"

It shocked Kai, who pouted and stomped his foot like a little child. This caused the children to laugh.

Shaking her head, Rikku asked, "Why are you here?"

"Hmmm," he said, looking away, "Is it that bad to want to check up on the characters in your story from time to time?"

"Huh?"

Smiling, Kai responded, "Nothing. I was in the vicinity and thought I'd come by and check up on you."

"So," Iark said warily, "You're not staying?"

"You want me to?"

"NO!"

Pouting, Kai disappeared. Hunter groaned as he started up the coffee machine. Sai and Kaitos sat down and buried their faces in their hands. As for the others, the ninjas returned to their room, and Keevan walked up to Shinji to start up breakfast.

Misato, shaking her head, turned to Iak and Rikku for an explanation. Understanding the look given to them, Iak led the four Nerv employees out onto the balcony to talk.

The brisk wind helped wake up the four of whatever fatigue was left on them. Iak simply leaned against the railing as he awaited their questions.

"Okay," Misato started, "Who was that?"

"The First Council," the winged man replied, "You remember Mimaru?"

Misato shivered, "Yes. You said that she was the second most powerful person on this council. So, he's the first?"

Rubbing his face, Iak replied, "Unfortunately, the most powerful of them has a tendency to act like an immature kid. And sometimes like some schizophrenic idiot who had five gallons of coffee, five pounds of sugar, and watched the latest anime episode."

"More like after watching a marathon."

They all jumped in surprise as Kai suddenly appeared on the railing. He had a grin on his face as he made a handstand and spoke to Iak.

"Did you really think I'd leave that quickly?"

"Actually," the winged man retorted dryly, "I didn't. But, with all else being equal, there was a fair chance you'd actually do so."

Sticking his tongue at him, the odd man, who was now floating upside down, then said, "I'll leave when I feel like it."

"Then mess

at least around."

don't

Iak took a moment to compose himself before attempting to continue.

you messing

with

"Would stop

this?"

The two pilots and Misato took a moment to rub their ears as they tried to understand what was coming out of Iak's mouth. Judging by the look on Kai's face, it was becoming quite obvious why the words seemed wrong.

going

"What's

on?"

A rightly confused Misato attempted to ask, only to find that her sentences seemed to have something wrong with them as well. Chuckling, the immature Council rolled in the air, holding his sides as he cracked up.

This lasted until something heavy and blunt struck him in the head. Iak, having lost his patience, had picked up a pipe and struck Kai in the head as hard as he could. The man had a comical look as he fell over the side and over the railing.

"There," Iak said with a sigh, "now it sounds normal again."

Misato, who was still looking over the edge, asked, "Why did that actually work?"

Rolling his eyes, Iak went back inside, saying, "He's impossible. What else do you need to know?"

Later

After the loud awakening caused by Kai, he was seen throughout the day. And he was always doing something odd, weird, strange, but mostly funny.

Sai spotted him in the park making sandcastles; with living sand people living in sand villages and having a war with another sand kingdom. Keevan had opened a book at the library and found a picture of the man inside it waving to him; he had shoved the book into a shelf and left to the muffled cries of help. To this day, the staff still believes that that particular bookshelf was haunted.

Rei, who had not yet formally been introduced to him, had her hand shaken and was given the tie that he was wearing while walking through a park. Later that day, she saw him again, and made to return the tie, only to find that Kai was wearing the same one.

"Oh," he had simply said before asking, "When was this?"

After receiving his answer, he nodded, gave her a wide grin, and then vanished.

Hikari was in shock for most of the day, as Kai had appeared in the television program that her younger sister was watching and was having a conversation with her about the prospects of education.

Touji and Kensuke were not spared either. The jock had his rear handed to him in a game of basketball that defied the laws of continuity, while the bespectacled boy had all of his pictures on his hard drive, which was triple encrypted and had fourteen passwords to access it, replaced with several video versions of the Numa Numa Dance and Caramelladansen.

And he was in every single video clip.

By the end of the day, everyone had had enough. They collected together at the Avatar's base as they conversed, or complained, about his annoyance.

Grumbling a few choice curses in German, Asuka said, "The bastard's everywhere. He's driving me nuts."

Shaking his head, Kaitos replied, "It can't be helped. He's a literal free spirit. We can't stop him from doing anything."

"He's a grade-A fruitcake," Shuri-Shara responded, the temperament of the kunoichi taking over, "All he's doing is nonsense."

"No," Hunter said with a resigned look, "If anything, he's a genius. He plans every single one of his moves. Kai's planning something."

"Oro? And why do you think I have anything planned?"

Like clockwork; Kai appears, everyone jumps in surprise, and Kai has a good long laugh. Once the cycle had finished, Iak demanded answers.

"What are you doing?"

Frowning, Kai scratched his chin in thought, "What am I doing?"

"You've clearly wanted to gather us all together for some reason," Cairn said, "You've ticked us off, and bugged the others enough that they came to us for answers. So, what is it?"

Laughing, the man floated in the air and told them, "Just a temporary reassignment for some of the Avatars."

The normal people were confused while the non-natives were more understanding. The ninja demanded to know why he couldn't have told them in a normal way.

Instead of answering, Kai decided to just spin in place. In midair. While singing the national anthem. In a very bad and off tone.

"Arghh!" the ninja screamed in frustration, "You ruined my room with your attempt to get our attention! I demand you fix it!"

"What'd he do?" Shinji asked, as he had heard the Avatar's scream of outrage earlier.

"Upside down, inside out, everything every which way." Kai sang in a horrible voice.

Asuka nodded in understanding. While she and Shinji were out for a walk, they encountered the man on just about every street corner. And he was drawing graffiti on the walls. It was not to be said that Kai wasn't artistic…It was that all of the pictures involved the two of them on several different versions of dates. Nothing explicit; and the worst he did was do a picture of them at the beach, where they were both making out.

"Okay," Kai said, suddenly appearing at the nearest door, "The three to be reassigned, please step forward when your name is called."

He was wearing a drill sergeant's uniform, glasses, and holding a notepad. By this point, the surprise generated by his sudden and spontaneous actions had begun to wear off on the natives.

"Hunter," he said, reading his list, "You are reassigned to TKB 53F4. Shuri-Shara to MKN 02F3 and Kaitos to HAFMA 64F0."

The three in question shared looks before standing up. Touji, however, stood up and shouted in protest.

"Hold on a second! Why the hell did you bring us into this if you're just going to reassign them?!"

His head turning around 180 degrees, cracking in ways that caused everyone to wince, Kai replied, "I was bored."

Silence ensued as they looked at the man with his head pointing in the wrong direction. In shock, Hikari fell over in a dead faint, Touji catching her just before she hit the ground.

"Don't do that with your head!"

Shrugging, Kai continued his head's rotation until it was back to its original position, "Very well, Kaitos, Hunter, Shuri-Shara, let's go!"

"Hang on," Kaitos said with a grimace, "Let us pack first."

They went into their rooms, none of them seeing the mischievous grin on the Councilman's face. Iak took notice and tried to warn them, but it was for naught. Just as his warning got to them, their doors opened and swallowed them up.

Then, the doors separated from the walls and began to walk towards the living room. There was fanfare and music as Kai danced around.

"Mein Gott," Asuka said in a deadpan, "What next?"

The first door, which belonged to the ninja twins, fell flat on the floor and was then raised up on a column. Everyone backed away as the other two followed suit. Then, having changed his attire to look like a circus clown, Kai began to twist and turn a random crankshaft, causing the pillars to rotate and move.

By this point, everyone had recognized that Kai had turned the entire contraption into what appeared to be a series of cannons.

"Fire in the hole!"

The first cannon fired out a silver orb. As it passed everyone, who had run out of the way, they could see and hear a screaming ninja. In quick succession, two more screaming orbs were fired. Outside, three holes in the sky could be seen where the cannonballs had gone through.

Everyone stared blandly at the loudly laughing man. Clapping his hands twice, he returned the room back to order, with the exception of three doors being missing.

"And with that," he said, again changing his attire, this time to that of a British gentlemen and had a posh and polite accent, "I must bid thee, a sad and teary farewell."

He broke the look by whooping and dropping into a spontaneously created hole. It then rose from the floor to become another cannon. Once again, everyone else dived for cover as it fired.

"Hey, I can see my house from here!"

The holes in the sky had shrunk down to nothing as he passed them, quickly disappearing into the dark sky. Just as everyone thought that that was the last they'd heard from him, he shouted out one more.

"I'm blasting away again~!"

Everyone stared at the speckle of light for the few moments that it was in existence before Asuka summed up the situation in one simple sentence.

"Mein Gott, what a freak."

THANK YOU ALL!!! And thank you for your patience! Please read and review, and don't forget to check out my newest Christmas fic!

Later! And have a very Merry Christmas of '08!!