Ranma ½: Notes of Sorts By zoupzuop2
Chapter 1
To Whom It May Concern:
I, Ranma Saotome, have struck out on my own. I felt life here impedes my opportunity to live the life I've wanted to live. I'm a bit tired of my life being fighting or marriage centered… not that I'll be giving up on the art or nothing, it's just that I won't let it dictate my life.
To Mr. Tendo: Thank you for your hospitality and for Akane. I probably never would've lived quite so contently without you.
To Pop: Keep training. When I come back, I wanna spar. Just to see if you've been getting lazy.
To all of my fiancés: You now know my near-final answer. My choice is none of you. So please stop bickering, I WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND.
To Kuno: Bye, you stupid little maggot. Lose the stick and learn to fight. When I get back you're in for it.
To Ryouga: No, I'm not "running away". If you have a problem with me, FIND me.
To Kasumi: No amount of thanks in words or deeds can express my gratitude for what you've done for me. I owe you so much of my life, and you've put up with so much out of me. Please accept my sincerest apologies that I am as of yet unable to repay you somehow.
To Nabiki: 'Bout time I did this. Find your own freaking prostitute to exploit… or, since you have the moral ineptitude of one, use yourself. Only Kuno sees those pictures, so why not give him something new?
To Hiroshi and Daisuke: Don't worry, guys. I'll be back in due time… just don't get caught up in your… misadventures.
To The Old Lecher: Eat crap and burn in hell. I'm going to hunt you down the minute I hear about you coming within 5feet of the breasts of Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, Ukyou, Shampoo, or anyone I happen to know of.
To my individual fiancés: Thank you so much for your support over the years. It's nice to know that people care about me, albeit a strange kind of care (me being naught but a mere love object, after all)
To Kodachi: You're nuttier than the Planters Factory. If you harm a single hair on any of my other ex-fiancés' heads, or any of the Tendo or Saotome families, I WILL FIND OUT.
This is all I have to say. (I guess you didn't know I could use proper grammar in writing, heh?)
-Ranma Saotome
P.S.: Tell Mrs. Saotome that I'm gone if she comes by.
The letter was posted neatly on the door to the Tendo house, and the breeze whispered to it silently. Dawn had barely awoken and the songbirds almost began their symphonies.
A sole figure tiptoed up the stairs to the Saotome room. He carried, very gently, a large trout in one hand. On his face he carried a smile. His lazy son had BETTER get up. Or else he'd better like seafood.
The door creaked open softly as Genma entered the room. He assessed the situation and found that his quarry hadn't even twitched. He stepped in closer. Again, there was no response. One more step. Once more his alleged quarry was silent. Genma made his move.
"WAKE UP, BOY!" he yelled suddenly, and he swung his trout.
The odd thing was that the blow didn't connect.
"Oh-HO! Don't you start getting cocky, Ranma!" he bellowed as he swung again. This one didn't hit its target either.
Swing! Swoosh! Sling! One by one a flurry of fish-slap flew. Genma could barely see his aquatic assault weapon fly through its deadly swinging.
Finally, something clicked, which was quite a rare event for Genma.
"Boy-…Ranma?"
Genma knelt down and searched the sheets for his son. Each pat pushed the blankets down to the floor, and the more he searched the more the blankets revealed their contents, (which was nothing). Ranma simply wasn't there.
"Hmm… clever trick. I'll find you yet, boy, then you'll WISH you were asleep forever."
Genma scowled it to himself, as he plodded out the door to find his prey.
Soun awoke with a deep sigh of vigor. There was just SOMETHING about the morning air that did that for him. He pushed himself out of bed and got himself out of his western pajamas ("What's so wrong with them being 'Felix the Cat'? Can't a man sleep how he chooses these days?"). Just as he was getting ready to undo the top buttons, he heard a fuss outside of his door. Curious, he approached it, hand almost on the knob.
He never got to turn it.
KABLAM!
The door collapsed flat, with Soun following suit. Genma burst in frantically.
"RAAAANMAAAAAAA!"
Genma began to search the room thoroughly and noisily. Anything that wasn't bolted down was tossed into the center of the room. Anything that WAS bolted down went there anyway.
Soun unburied himself and shakily stood up. "Saotome, what is the meaning of this? Barging into my room like that, and at THIS hour, you'd better have a good reason for—!" The note almost APPEARED in his hand as Genma placed it there, then continued his search. Soun took a moment to glance at what the note said.
Then he helped Genma in his quest to tear apart his room.
It was Sunday.
Akane loved Sundays.
They were the one sole day of the week where work or school wasn't mandatory. For a small period of time, some time ago, it was alsothe only day where Akane didn't have to face up to the dreaded "Horde-'o-Hentai" as she (rarely) called them; where she could be, for the most part, at peace.
It was also a day of sleeping in.
This made the monstrous noise in the other room unusual, not forgetting annoying.
Akane tried to bury her head under her pillow to drown out the ungodly noise coming from Dad's room, but to no avail. Finally she burst out of her bed and stormed over to the source of the problem.
The noise, or so Akane believed, was nearly unbearable with the door closed. That was nowhere NEAR the volume when that same door was OPEN.
Kasumi and Nabiki came out of their respective rooms, rubbing their eyes and yawning, wondering what was going on with their father and uncle so early in the morning.
"DADDY!"
The noise stopped immediately.
Soun and Genma looked back at Akane, stopping dead in their tracks (also hoping that that'd be as dead as they got, with Akane in this mood).
Nabiki leaned on the doorway. "Doing some early-morning remodeling, dad?"
"What on Earth is going ON here, dad?" Akane demanded. She was altogether NOT too happy. (Of course, not many people woken up earlier than necessary ARE.)
Soun began to bawl, which got rolling eyes from the younger two Tendo daughters and Genma.
"RANMA'S ABANDONED US FOREVER! BAWWWWWW-!"
KER-SLAP.
Akane's right hand and arm were on her left side of her body, and a fresh hand-mark formed on her father's face.
"Hold yourself together, dad. Chances are good he'll be back in a few--?"
She glanced over at Genma and saw an odd look in his eye, one she'd never really seen out of him before.
Fear. Concern. Terror.
Akane's face soon followed form.