Disclaimer- I own nothing.
Chapter Five- History with Sasuke
"So anyways I asked them if they wanted to go to the mall and they said no, so I was like whatever and went anyways without them, you know? Like I totally didn't really even need them because I was fine by myself, but it would have been nice to have them come along, yeah? But anyways, when I got to the mall, OH MY GOSH, you won't believe what I saw! Are you ready? Okay. Okay. Okay. So. When I got to the mall…LIKE TOTALLY OMFG! I saw them! I was like "Oh my god!" because they so like totally ditched me. They said they weren't going to the mall and I believed them and then they went to the mall so I didn't believe them anymore because they went to the mall when I believed them because they said they weren't going to the mall and they did so yeah that's why I didn't believe them!"
"…"
"…"
"…What?!" Naruto yelled as he clasped his hands over his head, "What did she say? My head hurts!" The blonde ran in circles as he tried to comprehend what the other blonde said.
"Who is she?" Chouji cringed, "And why is she following us?"
"I don't know," Sakura whispered, "But let's just back away slooowwllyy… Yes, that's it. Good, you're doing good."
Naruto whimpered as he quietly tip-toed away. It scared him how someone could talk so fast.
Sakura was beside him, sneaking away quietly as well. When Sakura accepted Ino's invitation to be friends she hadn't expected the blonde to follow her around and talk and talk until their ears bled.
Chouji also shuffled away as silently as he could. The last thing he wanted was a crazy blonde to come along and drown out the peaceful crunching of his chips.
He already had Naruto for that job.
Speaking of chips, he still had a quarter of a bag full in his hands and break time was almost over. Maybe he should finish them now… No! The crunching would alert Ino of their escape.
…Oohh, but the chips look soooo good.
But he couldn't!
…Oh no! The chips are calling his name… "Chouji, Chouji," they say.
But he mustn't.
Those poor chips, all alone in that bag. No pudgy hand to reach in and release them from their cheap-plastic prison. "Chouji, Chouji… eat us, eat us! We're greasy and smothered with artificial flavors, preservatives, and salt."
'Why must you tempt me so?' he thought in distress. He cast a glance at Sakura and Naruto, only to see they were already a good distance down the hall and almost ready to round the corner and finally be free of Ino.
"Chouji!" the chip's calls were now louder than ever, "Eat us. You know you want to. DO IT. NOW."
"Oh, what the heck!" Chouji shouted as he dug his hand in and slapped a handful into his mouth.
"CHOUJI, NOOO!" Sakura and Naruto shouted. But it was too late. Their big-boned friend was already munching away joyously and emitting groans of happiness.
"Ano?" Ino looked up to find the source that disturbed her from her happy gossip, "Hey! What are you guys doing down there?"
"Shit!" Naruto cursed as he grabbed Sakura's hand, "Run!"
"Wait for me too!" Chouji shouted a he hobbled after them.
"Why'd you have to eat that chip?" Sakura cried, "Couldn't you have waited?"
"Well," Chouji snorted, "There are kids on the other side of the world that are starving, so naturally I had to finish them."
"Hey!" Ino yelled, "Where are you going? I haven't even finished my stories! HEY. GET BACK HERE!"
"NNNOOOOO!"
Sakura, Naruto, and Chouji all arrived at their next class in a flurry, almost tumbling over each other in the process. This time Chouji had the sense to suck his stomach in as he barreled through the door in order to avoid being stuck again.
"Did we lose her?" Naruto looked around feverishly.
"Whew," Sakura laughed, "That was a good workout."
"Speak for yourself," Chouji panted.
The trio seemed oblivious to the many bewildered stares shot at them and the teacher who loomed over them.
"Ahem," a clipped voice suddenly interrupted their mini conversation. The three looked up to see their new history teacher: Kurenai-sama. "What do you three think you're doing?"
The three of them blinked, and slowly looked around, finally realizing their predicament. Naruto coughed.
"…Well," he scratched his head, "I think I'm just standing here, Sakura is being cute, and Chouji is being a huge, red, puffy, sweaty lump."
Naruto's cry of agony echoed through the air as Chouji and Sakura smacked him upside the head.
Kurenai's eye twitched, "Very well then. You three must be the new students." She then strode over to a clipboard with the seating chart attached to it and looked up their names. "Hm," Kurenai's lips pursed slightly, "Chouji Akimichi? Yes, you'll be sitting in that seat near the bookshelf. Alright, and Naruto? Mm, you'll be sitting next to Lee."
"Lee?" the blonde echoed.
"He's the boy in the green over there with black hair," Kurenai replied.
Naruto instantly winced, "Ewww, eyebrow-freak? What if he accidentally sheds hair on me or something?" One look at Kurenai's flaming red eyes told Naruto to stop, and he did.
"Ahem," she cleared her throat, "And finally, Haruno Sakura you are to sit in the back next to Haku."
The girl nodded and recognized Haku as the boy from her first period class and strode over to take the seat next to him. Once everybody was settled and the earlier incident giggles had died down, Kurenai turned towards the board and began scrawling notes on it. Sakura pulled out an orange mechanical pencil and started taking notes, but her note-taking was soon interrupted by a disgusted cough.
"Ew," she heard a feminine-manly voice say.
Sakura looked up and met Haku's disgusted gaze. "What?" she said.
Haku looked at her as if she were mad, "That pencil soo does not go with your outfit, nor does it match your hair or eyes or even nails for that matter."
Sakura stared blankly at him. "…Excuse me?"
Haku snorted, "What do you mean 'Excuse me?' You should be grateful that I even gave you a fashion tip, pinky." And with that Haku turned back to filing his perfectly manicured nails. Little did he see Sakura slowly grow livid and grip the pencil so tightly, the plastic began to crack.
"Pink…y?" Sakura repeated.
He rolled his eyes, "Well, duh. That's what I called you, isn't it?"
"Pink…y."
"Helloo? Are you deaf or something."
"Pinky. Pinky. PINKY. PINKY!!! PINKYY!!!!"
"WOAH!" Haku backed up in his seat as it became evident that Sakura was growing fanges and that fire was rising from the floor, "C-Calm down, oh my gosh!"
"PINKY!!" Sakura shouted with mad, rabid rage, and began hyperventilating, "HOOHEEHOOHEE!" Haku attempted to scream but was muffled by a shoe as Sakura began to execute her plan: Punish the One Who Spoke the Forbidden Name. Or POWSFN, for short. She would get him where it hurt most. A few students looked on with dread.
"And so," Kurenai continued her monotone speech, "The Battle of Sano Hill was a memorable one, but mostly for the hideously violent acts committed there. But they weren't necessarily physically violent acts, more like mental ones."
"You mean like the kind of pain Sakura-san is inflicting on Haku-kun right now?" a student raised his hand.
"Yes, like the pain that Sakur- OH MY GOD, SAKURA HARUNO! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
Abruptly, the young girl stopped her assault on Haku's makeup bag, as he writhed beside her, pleading for the sanction of his precious makeup articles. Every mascara brush she bent broke another one of his bones, and every eyeshadow palette shattered was another bruise to his well-groomed complexion. She blinked, "Oh. I was…exploring the wonders of Haku's makeup bag! Did you know that if you combine this lip gloss and this eyeshadow it makes a very nice color? Err, except, you can't really see it NOW, since it's sort of broken, but-"
Kurenai felt an eyebrow twitch, "Enough! Sakura Haruno-san, get up and switch spots with Daisuke-kun."
The pink haired girl gaped, "But…that would put me next to Sasuke Uchiwhatever!"
"Uchiha," he corrected with a scowl.
"Whatever!" Naruto threw his hands up, "Sashikaka, Uchiyomama, it doesn't matter!" A certain chicken-haired boy growled.
"Ahem," Kurenai restored order with her menacing, scarlet gaze, "Now, Sakura-san, switch with Daisuke-kun now or else I'll give you a referral to the office, and you may deal with Tsunade-sama."
"No ma'am," Sakura lowered her head and obediently did what she was told. Haku continued to writhe and shiver on the floor, clutching desperately at the spilled contents of his makeup. Kurenai had a student take him to the nurse, with a pass stating that he was suffering from "major mental breakdown". As soon as that was settled, Kurenai-sama turned back to her board and continued her lecture.
But the problems didn't stop there.
Splish
Splish
Splish
Sakura felt her eye twitch. She felt warm, moist things splat against her neck. Whirling around, she saw the cold face of Sasuke Uchiha staring back at her, seemingly innocent due to its blank façade. Sakura narrowed her eyes, mouthed "I'm watching you." And turned back.
"And so that ends our lecture," Kurenai turned to her desk and gathered up a large piece of paper, "Now I am going to assign you all an essay on an influential family back in the Meiji Era. I shall assign you the family. Here are the guidelines and directions."
Splish
Splish
'WHERE ARE THOSE COMING FROM?' Inner Sakura gnawed on her fingers.
As Sakura pondered what was hitting her neck, her face paled a sickly green. 'Please don't tell me what I think that is,' reaching back to reveal the substance of her irritation, Sakura instantly froze.
"S-SPITBALLS?!" she screamed.
Beside her, Sasuke smirked.
'That's it!' Sakura shouted inside her mind, 'I am NOT going to deal with this!'
"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Sakura hollered as she kicked her chair out from under her, losing her inhibitions. Inner Sakura had totally taken over. "Would you quit being a cow and stop spitting those bits of paper at me?!"
"Are you trying to start something?" Sasuke raised a single brow coolly, voice smooth.
"AS A MATTER OF FAC-"
"SAKURA HARUNO!" Kurenai loomed over the girl with flashing, red eyes. Like police sirens.
Freezing, the girl creaked her head over slowly, "H-Hai…?"
"Detention! After school, one hour! And then I'm calling your parents for a LONG. LONG. Chat!" The teacher gave a look that dared Sakura to say anything else. She didn't. Furious, Kurenai swiftly handed her the assignment and stomped away.
Sasuke smirked.
Naruto glanced sadly at her.
Chouji ate chips.
Sakura sighed. First day. Horrible impressions. Glancing at the paper, she noticed she was assigned to do research on the …Uchiha family? Well who the hell were they? She didn't have time to think long as the bell rang.