Victoria woke up and opened her eyes. She saw only darkness. Not really darkness, actually. Darkness has shades. And for there to be a shade there has to be some light somewhere. Anywhere. But if there is a place that never saw any light at all throughout the history of the universe, can there be darkness there? Maybe that's how a vacuum looks like. Just a second, it wasn't like her to think such things. Something strange was going on here.
Ben stood outside his home, leaning against the column supporting the porch. He was slowly sipping his tee. The sky was cloudless, stars clearly shining even through the glow of the city. Right in front of him the moon was casting bright light onto the world.
Diefenbaker never liked the moon in it's quarters. thought Fraser. He always said that it was on the edge then. Changing between two states, there is some uncertainty in the world then, he used to say. Dangerous. Ben sighed melancholically. Arms wrapped around him from behind. He smiled.
"Still sighing to the moon, Ben?" Francesca asked coyly.
"No. Just thinking."
"Well, okay. I just wanted to let you know, I'll be upstairs. In case you'd be interested." She added seductively and went inside.
After couple seconds Fraser followed his wife to their bedroom, only to find it completely filled with candles and Frannie lying invitingly in the middle of the bed.
Caroline had enough of it. It was end of March, for Pete's sakes! This wasn't the best time for a hike in the Northwest. She could think of better ways to spend her birthday, thank you very much. It was twenty below!
"We're almost there." her father announced walking two meters in front of her. They reached a clearing. Soon after that, the path became almost flat. There were four graves, two on each side of the path, about fifteen meters apart from each other. The monuments on each were made out of stone and assembled, perhaps a bit clumsily. They weren't like the ones she was used to see in the city. Right now they were almost completely covered in snow.
Caroline looked around at the steep walls of the mountains surrounding the valley. "It's beautiful in here."
Ben smiled. "That's what your grandmother said, the first time she came here. That's why my father put her grave in here."
"It's the same accident as the rest. Smashed in between car and a bus."
"I want her intubated, number seven. Bag her. Estimated blood loss?"
"At least three units."
"Drug user?"
"Unknown."
"Time?"
"Forty five minutes."
"Vitals?"
"BP 90, pulse weak but steady."
"I don't understand how she's even alive."
Victoria looked around. But she might as well have done it with her eyes closed. She was certainly standing ON something, wasn't she? She reached down and indeed managed to touch the ground. Or the floor. Something. It felt cold. She walked forward waving her hands in front of her in case she managed to touch something.
"Victoria?" a voice echoed around.
There's been many years since anyone called her that. "Yes?" she answered uneasily.
"Ah. Good. Can you see the light?"
"Ben?"
"Yes, that's me."
"I don't see any light."
"Oh." he paused for a longer moment. "How about you just follow my voice?"
"Alright. I can do that."
"Follow me. Follow me." Ben went on and on and on. Finally he heard a bang.
"I think I hit something."
"Good."
"Good?"
"Sure. Now just go along the wall you walked into in the direction of my voice. If you find a door, come inside."
"Inside of what?"
"Good point. Just step outside."
"Outside of what?"
"Ah. A tricky question."
"That's helpful."
Fraser's eyes snapped open, but aside from that he didn't move. He quickly assessed where he was. His own bedroom. Francesca was sleeping peacefully, resting her head in the hook of his arm. Her hair was a mess. He smiled to himself realizing, that she looked beautiful to him. He looked at the time. It was thirteen past five. Some of the candles were still burning, giving the room a mysterious look.
He got up and went downstairs. He took the phone and sat on the couch. He dialled the number for information. "Hello? Yes, I would like phone numbers for the information desks of all hospitals in the San Francisco Bay area."
"Would you fasten your seat belt? It's dangerous to travel without it. It's also against the law!" Monica had enough. Her daughter was at the age when she was rebelling against everything. It was surprising she wasn't rebelling against the stereotype of teenagers rebelling against parents. "Besides the visibility is really bad in this fog. Please?"
"I don't like seat belts. I'm not gonna wear it."
Monica sighed. She was hoping her daughter would leave this phase of her life quite soon. Otherwise she might have to kill her. "Fine. But if I see a police officer somewhere, I'll stop and ask him to give you a ticket. And you're gonna pay it from your allowance."
"Fine."
"Good."
Monica concentrated back on driving. Somewhere ahead she saw a bright red light. She pushed a brake violently. They stopped a few feet from a bus.
"A traffic jam." Matthew stated matter-of-factly.
"At this time?" Monica replied to him. To Caroline she pointed out "You see - that's why you use seat belts. So that you don't have to hang onto the head rest in order not to smash your teeth on the seat in front of you."
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Then they heard a loud horn from behind. At the same moment Monica saw a light in her back mirror.
"Oh my God!"
Caroline opened the door and tried to jump out of the car at the same time as Monica tried to dive to the right, pressing accelerator to the floor.
Half a second later a thirty ton truck smashed their Toyota into the bus standing right in front of them.
Finally Victoria found a knob. She pushed the door open and stepped into the snow. The light blinded her instantly and she had to fight to keep the balance.
"Are you okay?" It sounded like Ben was next to her. "Victoria?"
"Why are you calling me that? You haven't done it in years..." she tried to look around opening her eyes slightly.
"Oh. We're in the Borderlands now. Here you can only be your real self."
She was standing in the middle of a boreal forest, on a footpath. Everywhere she looked there was a thick layer of snow. "Where are we?"
"The Borderlands. A stopping place along the way as my father put it once."
Victoria looked at Ben. He was wearing his red serge. She hadn't seen him dressed in it for years. He had sergeant insignia on his right arm and six stars on his left, indicating over thirty years on the force. But he looked like as if he was younger. Much younger.
"You look good. And so young."
"So do you."
She finally looked at herself. A black coat, black sweater, black pants. She touched her ear. Large, circle shaped earrings. A silver bracelet with three amber stones in. Her hair. Curly, long. She put it in front of herself. Black. No shades of gray that were supposed to be there. Like they were a moment ago, when...
"There was an accident." she stated the fact.
"I'm afraid so, yes."
After a moment she asked "How is everyone?"
"Angela and Caroline will be alright. Matthew is alive and stable. That's all I know."
She digested that information with sort of relief. "And I'm dead."
"Not yet."
"But I will be." She knew that.
They stood in uncomfortable silence. "According to my briefing. Yes."
She hesitated. "Briefing?"
He turned his head sideways and rubbed an eyebrow with his thumb. "Yes."
Few more seconds of significant silence. "It might sound like an intrusive question, Ben, but given my current position it's a vital one. Who was it that briefed you?"
"Er, no one exactly. It was more like a vision."
"Oh... And why are you here? You're alive, aren't you?"
"Oh, very much so. I'm afraid for me it's just a dream."
She sighed. "Good. It's quite a relief actually."
"Thank you."
"So... why are we dressed like that. Or more importantly we are we thirty five again?"
"That's not something I know. Apparently we have some unresolved issues to be dealt with. And I'm to be your guide through the Borderlands." he showed the wilderness around.
"Which also brings me to another question: where is the door I came through?"
"It's right behind you." Victoria looked around. "Well, you can't see it now. It's a one way door. We shall go, before it gets dark."
"Dark?" Somehow the word seemed to carry some weight after waking up in the total darkness, or vacuum.
"Yes, we have about two hours to get to the cabin, before the sun sets. It's that way." he said pointing to their right. He started walking.
"You seem to know your way around, Ben."
"Oh, I was visiting several times over the years."
Fraser entered the private room where Mat was recovering. He was still sleeping almost all the time. He could hardly talk but he asked for Monica two times already. The doctors told Ben to lie to him. Tell him that she's recovering. They told him that it might kill him if he knew the truth. So Fraser lied. It killed him inside to see how Mat brightened up, knowing that Monica was getting better. He had no other family.
Besides their daughter of course. Which was what made Ben accept the lying he did. If Matthew died there out of loss for his wife, Ben wouldn't be able to live with himself. Angela needed family, even if it was only supposed to be half of it.
He sat in the armchair next to the hospital bed. He hated hospitals and recently he spent way too much time in them. After a long while Matthew woke up. "Hello, Mat. How are you feeling today?"
"I'm okay, Ben. Thanks for asking." he talked very quietly. He had eleven broken ribs. Ben knew what kind of pain that was and that it must hurt him to even breathe. He couldn't hold his gaze. His eyes went southward on the bottom of the bed, where Mat's legs should be. But the doctors said he was out of the woods now, that he'll handle the truth. He said, he would tell him. He wasn't sure he was able to.
"Mat, I have to tell you something." he managed without looking him in the eye.
"Monica died." Ben finally made eye contact with him. He nodded.
"How did you know?" Mat looked out the window.
"Oh, Ben. I can see what's bothering you. How is Angela? Caroline?"
"They're both fine. Angela is starting rehabilitation at the end of the week. Caroline is getting used to the crutches."
"Can I see them some time?"
"You know they don't allow children here, Mat. But don't worry, you'll be out in no time." There was one more thing. The will was very explicit. Ben thought that perhaps these were extraordinary circumstances, but he was the executor and it was his duty to follow Victoria's last wishes. "There is something more, Mat." he said handling him the envelope. "Monica wanted you to read this."
Just as it was starting to get dark, they made their way to a clearing. A very small wooden cabin with two windows and chimney stood in the middle of it. It was about half the size of Robert Fraser's cabin. They went inside.
"I'll get the fire going." Ben said pointing to the fireplace. There was a couch standing in front of it, in the middle of the only room. Next to the left wall stood a single sized bed. The rest of the area was used for a table for two and kitchen.
"There is a gas oven in here?" she was truly amazed by that.
"Why not? Is it any more surprising than the fact that there is a cabin at all?" Fraser asked rhetorically.
Victoria thought about it for a moment. "I suppose not..."
"Exactly. Don't try to understand. Just... live. Well, just be. Try to see if there is some food."
"Food? Do we eat here?"
"Oh. Well, are you hungry?"
"I guess... I didn't think of it."
"Well, if you are, why don't we eat something. I'm quite hungry myself."
"Yes. Alright. But do we need to eat? I mean what happens if we don't?"
He looked at her curiously. "I have no idea. Why would you want to find out?"
"Because..." she couldn't believe him. "We're here in the after world-"
"It's not an after world, not yet. A middle world, if you please." Ben corrected.
"Fine, a... middle-world, and we can find out whether we need to eat in the eternity or not and, well, for me it's not that vital..." she grunted at the irony of using that particular word in her situation "but you can take that knowledge back!"
Fraser watched her with disbelief. "You've spent way to much time with scientists, Victoria. Look, you're reading way too much into this. You're hungry, you eat. Simple as that."
She sighed. "Okay, I'll check the fridge." She opened it and paused staring inside. "I suppose I shouldn't really ask how is it working, should I?"
Ben opened the door to the shed in his backyard. He connected the electric drill to the socket. He took off his Stetson and fished out two Canadian quarters from it. He carefully placed the first one under four millimeter drill. He put on his goggles and turned the machine on. He carefully drilled a hole exactly in the middle of the coin. Then he repeated the operation with the second coin.
He shut down the drill and disconnected it from the power supply. He took off his goggles. "I hope you forgive me, Your Majesty." he said apologetically. He took a very thin leather strap, about tenth of an inch wide, and pushed it through the holes in the coins. He tied both ends of the strap together in a fisherman's knot. He critically judged his work and being quite content with it, he put the strange necklace on.
Now all he had left to do, was to buy a new compass.
Victoria finished cooking and decided it was about time to set the table. Ben was outside cutting more wood (he claimed the cabin should be left in a same state as you would like to find it). He just came inside to notice Victoria staring at the opened cupboard, located directly above the oven.
He came behind her and observed her curiously as she was standing there, watching the contents of the upper shelf, mesmerized. Standing just few inches behind her he asked "Is something wrong?"
She jumped up a bit. "Is it... Is it some kind of a message the universe or something is sending us?" She said slowly turning around and standing just inches from Fraser. She leaned in. "Does that have some meaning?"
Ben bit his lower lip. "Yes. It does." He looked into her eyes. "It means..."
"Yes?"
He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent deeply. "It means that this cabin was previously occupied by Sergeant Robert Fraser. My father. He was always prepared for everything." He opened his eyes to see her watching his face intently.
The tense moment lasted a second longer. Then they both burst out laughing. After a long moment of laughter Victoria composed herself enough to speak again. "I'm sorry, Ben. It's just..."
"Don't worry about it. I understand."
They stopped laughing. She looked into his eyes seriously. "I'm afraid, Ben." she whispered.
"I know." he said simply. He slowly encircled her and brought her to him to a hug. She leaned into his strong form. Shivers went through her body. She wrapped her arms around him. Somehow she felt his strength and courage leak a bit into her. His hand was slowly massaging her back in circles. After a minute or two, not that time exists in Borderlands, or can be measured, they slowly broke of. "Let's eat, shall we?"
She nodded and smiled. "Thanks." He smiled back. Victoria took two plates and cutlery and went to set the table. After a moment of hesitation Ben picked up two candles from the upper shelf.
"Who is Victoria Metcalf?" Caroline asked suspiciously. The other graves were of her grandparents and Diefenbaker. But this name she's never heard of.
"It's your mother." Fraser answered calmly.
Caroline got up from her knees, as she finished removing the snow from around the grave and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You mean that mum wasn't my mother? I mean, that Monica wasn't my mother?" She was starting to get quite angry.
"Oh, no, darling. That's not that. It's just her real name is Victoria Metcalf."
His daughter stared at him blankly. "What are you talking about, dad?"
"Remember how I told you once, that when you're older I'll tell you what happened, that uncle Ray doesn't like your mum?"
"Yes..." she said uncertainly.
"Well, you're old enough now, Caroline."
"I still don't understand."
"Your mother had to change her name, shortly after you were conceived. She was running away from the law." He watched her intently. "As you know I was the executor of her will. And the last wish she had, was for me to tell you the truth, when you're adult. Well, you're an adult as of today."
Caroline looked around confused. "You know dad, most kids would prefer a car or something. I might not be most kids, but this is a bit too much..."
Ben smiled. "Oh, Caroline. It's only the beginning." He sighed.
His daughter looked at the grave. "But if this is my mother, who is buried in San Francisco?" Her mind was finally starting to work again.
Fraser cringed. "Your mother, too. She had very atypical instructions with that regard. She wanted her body to stay in San Francisco, but here heart to be left here. Literally."
Caroline digested that information for a moment. "You mean..."
"Oh, yes."
"That's... strange. Really strange."
Fraser cracked his neck. "It was a bit symbolical." He pointed to the pass in between the two mountains at the end of the valley. "Do you see that pass?" His daughter nodded. "It's called Fortitude Pass. It's where I met your mother."
She looked around. "You met here?" Ben nodded. "How's that even possible? Was she hunting and got stuck in a trap or something? You rescued her?"
"No. Not really. She was running away. She robbed a bank in Alaska. I tracked her down here, after she crossed the border."
His daughter stared at him in shock. Then she grabbed her mother's grave to keep balance. "You know, you might want to give me a warning if such details are gonna follow, dad."
Fraser considered that. "Well, dear, let's just say that till the end of the day, you've been warned. There is more..."
After few hours of walk they saw the clearing in the tree-line. Fraser stepped out first on what seemed to be a beach. Sand, made of the smallest grains that Victoria's seen in her life (and death), was making a crunching sounds when they were stepping on it. About a hundred meters further there was a river and already here the smell of fish and dirty water was hardly bearable.
"Where are we?" she asked curiously.
"I have no idea. This place hasn't been here before."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, last time I've been here... It's been quite a while, mind you, but the last time I've been here, the same way as we took led me to a very beautiful mountain valley."
"How often do you come here?"
"Oh, not very often. It's strictly connected with being close to death, as you figured by now, so I'm trying to avoid it as much as I can. Contrary to the opinion of my wife, but that's another story."
"So. What do we do?"
"I guess we walk along the river."
"Left or right?" was the only question that she could think of not involving questioning her own or Fraser's sanity.
"I suspect it doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure we'll end up in the same place in the end anyway."
They started walking to the right. "Couldn't we cross the river?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I suspect that'll turn out to be impossible. Some dangerous animals guarding it or something. I suspect that sooner or later we find a bridge. And then we answer the riddle."
"Bridge? Riddle?"
"Well, that's sort of standard deal in the after-world, or middle-world in this case. These things happen here, they're created by our minds. Humans create this reality, or surreality, so the stories that we hear all our lives creep in."
"But riddles? It's a legend."
"Oh, it might be a legend back in the real world, but here it's surprisingly possible. Last time I was here, I was asked to answer a riddle to cross the bridge over the valley, so that I could find a way back to reality."
"What was the riddle?"
"I have no idea."
"Huh?"
"Oh, I was having such a good hike that I decided to just cross the valley without the use of the bridge. I had to climb a beautiful wall, it was one of the best vacations of my life."
Victoria stared at him in disbelief. "But in the legend, you have to answer the riddle to cross the valley."
"No, no, no." Fraser stopped and held up both his hands. "By no means. You have to answer the riddle to cross the bridge. There is no rule about crossing the valley." He resumed walking. "Always read the rules, contracts and manuals. Especially everything written with very small letters."
"Mr. Fraser, you're the executor of Mrs. Hazen last will."
"I beg your pardon?"
"On a personal note, sir, I'm as surprised as you. But it's not my job to be surprised. I suggest that we get on with the formalities."
Fraser was sitting alone in the office of Victoria's lawyer. "Shouldn't there be any witnesses?"
"That won't be necessary, Mr. Fraser. Mr. Hazen is well aware of his wife's will. He was a witness when it was written down, and he's accepted that you deal with all the issues alone."
"Issues?"
"Yes, sir. There are very specific instructions concerning Mrs. Hazen body for instance. But let's go through it step by step, shall we?"
"Alright." Ben was really confused by now.
"First let's talk about the mutual funds."
"Huh?"
The lawyer eyed him curious. "As you know Mrs. Hazen had a successful career, Mr. Fraser."
"I was... unaware of that."
"Oh. Well. Anyway. There are two funds that you'll be in control of for now. One is supposed to pay for your daughter's education, and the other one is for her future. She's supposed to gain control of it when she's twenty five."
Fraser looked at him blankly. "So, I guess I can safely assume it's nothing urgent."
"Oh, indeed no, sir. However Mrs. Hazen was quite specific that some issues are to be dealt with immediately. That's why I made you come here today." He got up and took a large brown envelope from the safe behind him. "I have no idea what's inside this envelope, Mr. Fraser, but I was to give it to you as soon as possible after my client's death." he said handing him the said envelope. "Then there is also the issue of the body..."
Fraser took a last look at his daughter. She was sleeping quite peacefully. She took it much better then he expected. Come to think of it, probably much better then he took the death of his mother. But she was ten years older. The tear tracks on her face were breaking his heart. But crying was the only thing you could do, really. He was proud how strong she was. He closed the door behind him. He had things to do.
Instead of going to the guest room, he entered the bedroom. It felt really wrong being in there. It was private. He certainly wouldn't be happy if someone was going through his bedroom. But Victoria gave him explicit instructions. He opened the closet. He looked at the amount of clothes and shoes and sighed. He knelt down and started to go through the shoe boxes. Finally he found the orange sandals she was talking about. He took them out of the box. He took out his knife from his boot and cut around the bottom of the box, close to the edges. Finally both layers of the bottom fell down on the floor and so did a lot of different documents. Two full sets of alternative identities that she had ready in case she had to run away again. His picture. A letter he sent to her when she was in jail. She never replied, but apparently, she kept it.
He took it all along with the shoe box and went to the living room. He put it at bottom of the fireplace and started to make a fire.
After an hour or so, they saw three boats parked at the beach a hundred meters away. In the meantime a fog came down and general visibility was really bad. One couldn't see the other bank of the river. They approached the boats. Three boatmen were sitting on a bench at the bay.
"Ah! Gentlemen!" Fraser got their attention. "Hello. My name is Sergeant Benton Fraser. This is Mrs. Hazen. I was wandering if you could help me as to what river is this." He said pointing to the substance that contained water as one of the less significant ingredients.
"It's the river they call Stinks." boatman one replied.
There was a long pause. Ben and Victoria stared at them blankly. Finally Fraser got the joke and asked "Don't you mean Styx?"
"Styx?" Victoria's eyebrows shot up high and she looked at him questioningly.
"Yes, it makes perfect sense. You're half Greek in the end."
"More sense than anything else around here." She admittedly murmured under her nose.
"I don't know about that. We just call it Stinks." boatman two corrected.
"Well, I admit I'm not an expert but I'm pretty sure the river is supposed to be called Styx, sir." Ben wasn't going to give up easily.
"I wouldn't know about that." boatman one shrugged his shoulders.
"I admit the smell is a bit unpleasant and one might say even that the river stinks-"
"No, no. Not stinks. This river Stinks." boatman three interrupted.
"What did I say?" Ben was getting genuinely confused.
"You didn't pronounce the capital 'S'. You said small 's'." boatman one clarified.
Fraser considered his situation for a while. He looked at Victoria for help but she just shrugged her shoulders. "Is this the river that Achilles was bathed in?"
The three boatmen exchanged surprised glances. Boatmen three spoke for them all. "I don't know any Achilles, but I'm pretty sure that if someone was bathed in this river and survived... well he'd have to be invincible or something."
"Ah. Oh. Oh well." Ben looked at Victoria understanding drawn on his face. "Apparently we got the legend wrong, it happens all the time." he assured her in whisper. Out loud he continued "Is one of you gentlemen perhaps called 'Charon'?"
The boatmen eyed him suspiciously. "I'm Jim, this is Jack and that is Bob." explained boatman two introducing his coworkers. "Who the hell is Charon?"
This time Fraser didn't even show any signs of surprise or confusion. "Oh, just someone I knew." The boatmen stared at him blankly. "Do you gentlemen perhaps provide the service?" He pointed at the river.
"We do. Except that it's lunch brake now. And we don't go in such a fog." Bob explained.
"Ah. Of course. I understand." A thought occurred to him. "Would you mind if I used the boat to help this lovely lady across?"
"How would we get the boat back?"
"Oh, I'm coming back."
"You sure?"
"I'm pretty sure."
"You American?"
"Canadian actually."
Victoria watched the conversation with amusement and mouth open.
"Well, given that you're coming back, I'll charge you just for the lady. That'd be a quarter."
Ben looked at Victoria expectantly. "I don't have any money." she said at last.
"Oh. Well, allow me." He said taking down his hat. He pulled a ten dollar bill from there. "That's ten dollars. Please keep the change." he added imagining having to carry thirty nine quarters all the way back.
Jim eyed the piece of paper suspiciously. "How much is that in quarters?"
"It's forty quarters, sir."
"Really? That piece of paper?" he was clearly hesitating.
"Well, I'm just borrowing the boat, really."
"Well, that's true." Jim nodded in agreement. "Alright, you can take the first one. Be careful. You know how to operate a boat?"
"I've had some practice, yes."
Ben took amazed Victoria and led her to the boat. After thanking boatmen, he started to row away from the shore.
Ben was sitting in the attic of his home. In the corner he found the old folder he was looking for. On top of it was written 'Benton Fraser. Taxes 1982.' He opened it and from between various documents he fished out an envelope addressed simply 'Caroline'. He put in it his pocket and started to climb down the ladder.
"Your Taxi is here!" Francesca screamed to the general population of the house.
Caroline trotted down the stairs with a medium sized tourist backpack. She sighed heavily. "Dad!"
"I'm coming!" Fraser screamed from the top of the stairs.
The door opened and Angela came inside. "Hi! You're leaving?"
Caroline knelt in front of her sister. "Yes. We'll be back on Monday, Ange."
"Okay, have fun." She said going in further to the living room to see what Dorothy was doing.
Fraser came down. He looked at his daughter and it hit him how much she reminded him of her mother. Of course, she wasn't aware of that. Monica Hazen never wore her hair curly. She looked so beautiful. He composed himself. He screamed "We're leaving!" Everybody came to say goodbye and wish them safe trip. Finally they stepped outside the house. They both sighed in relief and walked down the disabled platform that replaced the stairs that used to be there.
Matthew was wheeling down a similar platform attached to the neighboring house. "You're not gonna say 'goodbye' to me?"
They smiled. "We were just going to come over to your place, Mat." Fraser explained. His daughter gave Mat a hug.
Mat hugged her back and said "Caroline, could I have a word with your father?"
She looked between them curiously. "Sure. I'll just wait in the cab."
After she closed the door behind her, Mat asked. "You're going to tell her everything, aren't you, Ben?" Fraser nodded. "Why?"
"Monica asked me. In her will."
Mat sighed. "She's dead. And she didn't know what she was doing. If I had a choice I'd prefer you never told me."
"You asked me to tell you!"
"Well, if I knew, I wouldn't."
"If you knew you wouldn't have to ask."
"You know what I mean!"
"Mat. It's her mother. She deserves to know. Especially she. More than you perhaps. You knew Monica Hazen. A person very, very different from Victoria Metcalf. But she is product of love between myself and Victoria. Not Monica. She deserves to know."
"Love?" The word was dripped in sarcasm.
"Yes, Mat. Love."
Mat looked down, defeated. "Be gentle with her."
"I'll try."
After couple meters the fog was getting significantly thicker. "Hmm."
"What?"
"Oh, no, nothing."
"No, Ben, you said hmm. That means something."
"Well it's just that I'm not sure how wide is the river. We certainly can't see the other side. And the fog is getting thicker by each meter." He took his compass out of the pocket. "Let's just try to navigate perhaps. It seems to me we should be going north."
Victoria stared at him. "Your compass works here?"
"Yes. Why?"
"I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I just thought it would spin around in wild circles or something."
Ben thought about it for a while. He put the compass in front of him so that he could navigate. Victoria was sitting about a meter from him, they were facing each other. "That would be really difficult to do. It's hard to come up with a magnetic field that would spin around like crazy. At least on a planet. Or on whatever we are." He went back to rowing.
"Hmm."
After a minute or so, she asked. "So. Do you know what's on the other side?"
"I'm sorry. I don't." he gave her a smile. He stopped rowing.
"Why are you stopping?"
"We need to talk, Victoria." He looked her in the eye intently.
"Alright."
"We've been... civil to each other for many years. We come to accept each other despite our pasts as parents of our child." he paused "Perhaps even as friends." She nodded her head. "You're the only person who knows the truly dark side of me. The evil me. The side that I watch everyday. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Well, I do. But you've seen all of me. You're one of the few and the only one whom I can talk to about it."
She nodded her head in understanding. "Likewise."
"What I'm trying to say, Victoria, is that I forgive you."
She couldn't hold his gaze and looked down. "Thank you." she whispered.
He picked up the oars. After another minute they reached the other bank of the river. The fog was finishing instantly about two meters before the shore. Once outside of it they could see it forming a white, tall wall alongside the beach. In front of them was a dessert. Sun was shining from the top. The wind was picking up sand grains and whirling them around. The boat hit the shore. Ben looked around. They stared together for a moment.
"A dessert." Victoria stated matter-of-factly.
"Indeed."
"I need to cross it?"
"Probably..."
"So."
"I'm afraid, that's as far as I can go."
"Oh."
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while. Fraser picked up his compass and gave it to her. "I want you to take it. Just continue north. You should cross it sooner or later." She took the device from him.
"Thanks."
"Oh, I also wanted you to have that." he said picking up a peacock feather from the boat deck. It was very large, over five feet long. It was shining with rainbow of colors, catching ones eye immediately.
"Where did this come from?" she asked curiously.
"Oh, it was here all the time." he said with blank expression on his face.
She stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Yes." she said finally "But was it here all the time a minute ago?"
"Ah. I see you start to understand. Good. That's good. Just take it, okay?"
"Alright." she agreed, taking the feather hesitantly.
"It's the heaviest feather I can think of."
"Heaviest?"
"Yes. Remember. Read the rules carefully. No one says you can't bring your own feather."
She stared at him with amazement. "Thank you." was all she could manage.
"You're welcome."
"Well, I'll just..."
Ben came close to her and gave her a hug. She hugged him back. They stood there for a moment and when they broke apart she gave him a kiss on a cheek.
"Good luck." he said as she put her foot on to the sand.
"BP down to 50, pulse ox 42!"
"Damn it!"
"V-fib."
"Give me internal paddles. Charge to 15. Clear!"
"Still in V-fib."
"Charge to 30. Push an amp of epi! Clear!"
"Nothing."
"Again. Clear!"
"Still nothing."
"Charge again!"
Victoria's shoe touched the sand. Sand consisting of smallest grains, like a yellowish white powder. She stepped out of the boat. She looked into Fraser's eyes and opened her mouth but no words came out. They'd said them all. She smiled and he smiled back. She turned around and headed north, as he said. After couple minutes when she was on top of a dune she looked around and waved to him. He waved back. Then she turned and after couple more seconds she disappeared.
"Time of death: three thirteen."
"Dear Mat,
If you're reading this then I'm most probably dead. I'm sorry. I hope you're okay and that you'll take care of our daughter. Please make sure that she's alright and happy. It's not easy for me to write this, because it's not a simple 'good bye' letter. I'm writing this to let you know who I really am. I've hidden it from you all our life. I guess I was just afraid what you'd do if you ever found out.
Monica Hazen, the woman you love, your loving and caring wife is not real. It's not really me. That's not my real name. I didn't finish university. Instead of that I spent ten years in jail, following a bank robbery. I'm a criminal and not a nice one, either.
Why did I keep it from you? I've done terrible things Mat. I'm not sure if you want to know about it. The reasons for why I wasn't with Ben, why Ben didn't know about his daughter and why I could never see his family from Chicago all lie in my past. If you want to know that story, ask Ben. He'll tell you. As you know he's executing my will. I asked him to tell you if you request it, and he's a man of honor. He will.
I hope that if you decide to know about me, you'll still find love and forgiveness for me in your wonderful heart. I want you to know that I love you a lot and always will. You'll always be in my heart. I want you to live your life and be happy.
Yours forever,
Monica"
Fraser sighed and picked up the oars. He maneuvered the boat around and started rowing back. After a minute he heard a low wheezy croak and a raven landed on the sit in front of him. Ben blinked and when he opened his eyes there was no raven, but the seat was occupied by Sergeant Robert Fraser.
"Dad!"
"Hello, son. How are you?"
"Well, I'm good, I guess. How are you?"
"Can't complain, son. Can't complain."
"How is mum?"
"Oh, she's well son. Sends love and hugs and that sort of things. Women."
"Tell her... tell her I miss her." Ben hang his voice for a moment. "So, how come you're here, dad?"
"Oh, you're on my territory, son."
"I am?"
"Well, no, not technically. But on the border."
Ben considered that for a while. "You mean the river is the border." His father nodded. "Oh. So you can't go beyond it." Fraser Sr. shook his head. "Oh, well, we can talk here."
"Oh, we can't just stand here, son! Keep rowing."
"Why not?"
"Only the dead and the boatmen are supposed to cross this river. Technically you are neither. Get away before someone notices. You can get away with such things when the moon is on the edge, like tonight, but don't push it."
"Oh. Alright." Fraser picked the oars and went back to rowing.
"So... do you think she deserves it?"
"Who? Deserves what?"
"You know who, son. And you know what."
Ben thought about it for a moment. "It's not my job to judge, dad. I just brought her in." He smiled bitterly to himself.
Caroline and Fraser were sitting in front of a fireplace. Their tent was set up mere meters from the place where Fraser built a lean-to when he met Victoria. They've just finished dinner.
"How could you do that?" Caroline couldn't believe the story.
"Do what?"
"All of it. Both of you." She shook her head. "How could you let yourself fall in love with her. How could she ask you to let her go. And how could you turn her in. How could you believe you could still be with her after all those years. How could she do that to you. How could she just kill a man with cold blood. How could she shoot Dief. Why would you want to be with her nevertheless. And how could you just find her and let her live afterwards. Without arresting her or marrying her. I just can't believe it."
Fraser smiled. "We were young, stupid, immature. And later... Well, later I felt guilty and she felt hurt. And even later... well, then we had you. And that sort of sorted out everything. You're a beautiful effect of a tragic love, Caroline."
"Love?" she couldn't believe her ears.
"Yes, Caroline, love. Your mother and I, we loved each other. Perhaps in a sick, unhealthy way. But we did. And it lasted for many years. Perhaps it's in me even now, tiny bit. Perhaps that's why her grave is next to my parents, not here. But we just weren't meant to be." The water boiled. He pured it to the thermos. "Tea?"
This brought her back to reality. "Sure, why not." They sat in silence for a while, sipping hot liquid.
"If she was alive, we would tell you together. But she's not. So I had to do it on my own, honey. But she left you a letter. I want you to read it. It was her last wish, to give you this letter and for me to tell you the truth." He said handling her the envelope. She opened it and started to read. At some point tears started to come down her face. She finished, hid the letter in an envelope and held it in her hand. She made a movement in the direction of the fire, but she hesitated. Finally she hid it inside her jacket pocket.
"So. What do you get if you cross a perfect policeman and arch criminal?"
Fraser couldn't help but smile. "You overestimate both your parents, Caroline."
She nodded her head. "Maybe, a bit." They sat in comfortable silence for a moment. Then the sky was brightened by the first lights of Aurora Borealis. They stared at the sky with admiration. "Wow."
Fraser nodded along. "Wow, indeed." His hand reached up and in an automatic movement he touched the necklace he was wearing.
Ben put the boat in it's place. He stepped on to the bay and thanked kindly for letting him use the boat. Jack got up and hurried after him.
"Hey, lad!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Well, we was thinking. We really don't trust for money to be paper."
"Oh." Fraser wasn't sure where this was going.
"So when you come next time, bring two quarters with ya, alright?"
"Sure thing, Mr. Jack. I will."
The sun was really annoying. She didn't really feel the heat. She wasn't thirsty either, but the dessert wasn't a fascinating landscape. She looked at the peacock feather she held in her left hand, grazing it with the right one. She sighed and got up from the stone she was sitting on. She looked at the compass and headed north.
The End