Oh look, it's been another year-ish since I updated.

Why do I keep doing that?

Oh nom nom nom.

Pride and Stuff

"Oh crapbags, where are we now?" Link ventured nervously.

"Shiranai," Samus said sadly.

The bunch was clearly in the country; a quick scan revealed rolling hills with a tree here and there. A manor of enormous size stood before them. Lively music was pouring out the windows as voices echoed out into the twilight.

"A dance!" Zelda exclaimed, heading towards the elaborate front doors.

"A dance!" Marth repeated, following after her with a skip in his step.

"A dance?!" Roy moaned.

Link cocked his head. "I've never been that great at dancing…"

"Odorou!" Samus excitedly grabbed Pit's hand and scrambled after prince and princess.

The young Hylian shrugged and ran after. Roy was left standing in the driveway, speechless.

"Wait!" he finally gathered. "We…we don't know what's in there! We have no idea where the Authoress may have put us next! Guys! Guuuuys!" Then Roy became sadface as he stood alone. After an obnoxious "Hmph!" he stomped after the group.

Zelda was inside first, looking about excitedly. How funny everyone dressed! The style was almost similar to hers, but the men were in suits and the women in light summer dresses.

"I can't help thinking that at some point someone is going to produce a piglet and we'll all have to chase it," a graceful redhead was muttering to her dance partner.

"No way!" Marth had caught up to Zelda. "I know where we are! Oh! Oh I could kiss the Authoress."

"Yhw?" Pit came up, ignoring the strange stares he was receiving.

"It's…a costume!" Marth cried loudly, taking hold of the situation. The surrounding people murmured and nodded and resumed their business. But attention was once again brought upon the group as Samus caught up.

Hm. The Authoress decided it a good moment to make Samus speak English again.

"What? Oh! Hey, I— "

"Good heavens, girl," the redhead stopped her dancing and crossed her arms curiously. "What on earth are you doing showing up here in that?" She turned once again to her partner. "Country dances…they get more and more uncivilized by the year!"

"This is what I always wear," Samus fumed.

"And where do you come from? The local brothel?"

"Oh no," Zelda whispered to Marth. "I believe that lady is going to flip the bitch switch on—"

"You just flipped the bitch switch," Samus growled and pulled out her whip…gun…thing.

The crowd in the room cried in surprise and everyone took numerous steps back, as if being against the walls would somehow defend them from a weapon they had never seen before. The redhead's eyes grew at the sight of it. Before Samus could create some major ass-whooping, a brunette rushed in.

"What is going on here?!" she cried. She eyed each of our unfortunate elevator clan up and down and raised her brow quizzically, but turned to the redhead, expecting an answer.

"These strange folk barge into this wonderful dance in which I took the pleasure of enjoying Darcy's company, and start creating havoc!"

"Forgive me, but it has escaped my attention that anything may be wrong," the brunette glanced about the room. "Everything appears to be in order, does it not?"

"In order?" the redhead stormed. "How can anything be in order with these brutes parading dangerous weapons about…and in ridiculous attire!"

"Is no one hurt?" the brunette ignored her and glanced about the room. She gave a nervous smile to Samus, who reluctantly put her weapon away. "Now," the brunette approached Samus, "I'm Elizabeth. What brings you here to Netherfield Hall?"

"The Authoress!" Marth jumped in front of Samus. He dismissed the looks shot in his direction. "She sent us here in an elevator, because if we hadn't gotten on, she would have sent us somewhere else…somewhere pink."

"It'd suit you," Roy muttered.

"Oh," Elizabeth nodded as if she understood. What on earth?!

"Yes," Marth grinned. "Oh, Miss Elizabeth Bennett, I'm so pleased to meet you." He grabbed her hand and shook it violently.

After her head stopped moving like a bobble doll, Elizabeth recomposed herself. "I'm sorry, but have we met?"

"Yes! Well, er, no. You see, I read about you."

"Me! Why….wherever could you have read about me?"

"In this wonderful novel by Jane Austen, and—"

"Wait. Forgive me. But, someone is writing about me? I've never heard that name in my life!" Elizabeth slowly took a step back.

"You end up with him!" Marth pointed at the redhead's dancing partner, Darcy. Elizabeth wrinkled her nose as Darcy turned a bright red. Marth's enthusiastic smile faded. "But…it's alright. You guys end up loving each other. Darcy professes his love by the lake after the church service."

"Marth…" Link whispered. "You're starting to creep everybody out."

"Forgive me, but…I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir," Elizabeth stammered, casting a sideways glance at Darcy.

"But…! This isn't even your ball to kick me out of!" Marth cried.

"Oh, you hold a very good point. Is Mr. Bingley around?"

"Mr. Bingley!" Marth jumped like a little child. "I love him! The goofy bastard, that boy!"

The elevator clan did a simultaneous face-palm.

"What did you call my brother?" the redhead stepped towards Marth furiously.

"Oh, Caroline! I'm sorry. It's just…well I love how Austen portrayed him. He loves Jane, you know!"

"Oh!" a voice somewhere in the corner cried.

"Marth, shut the fuck up!" Roy hissed. He prayed the Authoress would come bail them out of this horrible situation, and she did.

"Alright, you guys ruined everything," she stepped out from behind Elizabeth.

"I don't know if I can take much more," Caroline sighed and began fanning herself. She walked out to the balcony.

"I was going to make you guys dance and have a good time, but Super-Tight Jumpsuit and Twinkle Toes mess it all up! Ugh." She stormed up to Marth. "Do you forget that these people have completely no idea who you are and what's going on?"

"Yes," Marth said confidently, then paused. "Wait, er…"

The Authoress snapped her fingers and soon the room was bustling again. The music started up as the guests began a dance. Not one turned to look at the strange arrivals. In fact, Zelda was dancing with a young man already.

Link blinked (Haha! That kinda rhymed. Haha…ha…leave me alone.). "Huh?"

"To the people here, nothing has changed. Now they see you as normal guests at a ball," the Authoress sighed. "Now please have a good time. Don't ruin anything." She glanced at Samus. "And don't kill anything."

"This is boring!" Samus was crying a couple hours later. Being from a more futuristic time than the others, she had nothing to do. She was uneducated in the ways of dance, had no internet to Tweet or Facebook status her misery, and the Authoress had jacked her weapon.

"Can I talk to you?" Elizabeth sat down by Samus so suddenly the latter jumped with a squeal. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to startle you. It's just that Charlotte and Jane are off dancing, and every other girl is a giggling drunk fool. Except Mary…she is playing the pianoforte, and—"

"What?" Samus snapped.

Elizabeth blinked. Then, "Well, I just danced with this Darcy fellow. You know him, right? Tall, dark, miserable. I think…oh!" Samus tried not to recoil when Elizabeth captured both her hands in her own. "I do not attempt to deny that I think very highly of him…that I…greatly esteem him…that I like him."

"Oh! Sense and Sensibility!" Marth screamed across the room. "You guys get it? Get it? Come on here!"

"So go tell him," Samus said simply. "A little confession, make out session, wham bam, thank you ma'am."

"I beg your pardon?" Elizabeth spoke. "What on earth do you speak of?"

"Oh," Samus caught herself. "I mean…confession never hurts, right?"

"But a lady never attempts to do anything of the sort…" Elizabeth cast her eyes about.

"Well, you're no lady. I mean, you're one tough bitch. Coming up to me with my gun in my hand, having never seen the likes of me before, and—" Samus caught herself again as Elizabeth wrinkled her eyebrows. "Sorry. What I mean to say is, you've got the spunk in you to do it. If he doesn't return your feelings, so what?"

"Well, I may very much die at the thought of rejection!" Elizabeth claimed, pondering deeply about what "spunk" could mean.

"Hey, you know how great things happen? By taking risks. So make this great thing happen," Samus snapped.

"I—"

"There he is! Go, tell him. Now!"

"I—"

Samus pulled Elizabeth up and pushed her in the direction of Darcy.

"Samus…"

The blonde turned to see the Authoress sitting where Elizabeth once was.

"What do you want?"

"I told you not to ruin anything."

"I didn't!"

"Have you ever read a book, honey?" the Authoress stood up. She clapped twice and a novel appeared in her hands. "Read this. I'll give you plenty of time." She glanced about her. "Okay!" She cried. The elevator group all turned to look, but the guests kept on dancing. "They can't see you and they've no recollection you ever appeared," explained the Authoress. "I think it's about time we get going. So much for this idea, hm? Back outside, come on! The elevator awaits!"

As they assembled within the elevator, the Authoress came in with them.

"I've no idea where to send you next," she muttered.

"I had next to no part in this chapter!" Link wailed.

"Oot em!" Pit cried.

"Oh, that's annoying," the Authoress pat Pit (Pat pit…pit pat…awhehe…okay.) on the head.

"Hey!" Pit exclaimed. "No more backwards talk!"

"Yeah, I got sick of thinking about it," the Authoress sighed.

"Where to?" Zelda said, accepting her fate. "I hope we're all done with this soon; I was going up to the seventeenth floor to rent some land to let my Mudkips run loose."

"Rent…hmmm…" the Authoress smiled. "That's it. Alright, get going."

She disappeared as the elevator began to move.