Author's note: It's with a heavy heart that I leave Lisa and Jackson. And you! All my readers! I've tweaked and tweaked this last chapter. I wanted it to be as perfect as I could possibly make it. And I needed to bring Jackson's voice back in – and I needed to try to get him in-character… Well, at least the version of Jackson I've presented. If you believe in an evil Jackson, then he's been severely OOC throughout both these fics. :D
This ends the way I intended it to. The story has deviated here and there, things happened that surprised me through the journey, but they were meant to end up here, where this ends.
I hate to leave them… but I have to, I leave their fates in your hands now.
Have a good read, and take care you all. / Hugs, Nic.
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Chapter 14 A Man And A Woman
The equation was impossible.
Miss Lisa Reisert, daughter of Joe and Mary Jane, hotel manager, and in general well-bread, law-abiding citizen, couldn't possibly move across the country to look for her once would-be-murderer that as far as she knew worked as a professional terrorist manager.
Unless she did it to seek revenge...
Which she didn't.
So she didn't move to San Francisco.
She just went there to discuss the terms of a possible role as the manager's assistant at the Lux Pacific. It was at the end of July. The heat seemed a lot more humane here than back in Miami, and Lisa found that she liked the mood of the town. It was less rigid and more... well, like San Francisco. People appeared more relaxed, more at ease. Even the ever present lot of tourists were friendlier.
Lisa stayed at a small hotel with only a few rooms, about twenty minutes by bus from down town. She had been doing a lot of walking, and found that she was completely charmed by the people, the houses, the streets, the hills and valleys and by the over all good atmosphere.
And all the time her mind kept stretching towards a certain address.
She was somehow walking in circles, avoiding getting too close, but still unable to move too far away either. The picture in her head was so vivid; that blue door... number eleven... the view - she was sure the pictures with a view must be from the back of the house... Crystalline blue eyes framed with unruly dark hair... that raspy smooth voice with a hint of tease...
What do you want?
Sunday the twenty-seventh of July, around five-thirty in the afternoon, exactly four days after her arrival in San Francisco, found Lisa standing outside a small wooden house with a newly painted white front, and a heavy blue wooden door that was in desperate need of a paint job.
Next to the door it said '11'.
Her mouth was dry like desert sand, and her heart pounded so hard in her chest that its beats reverberated throughout her whole body.
No, I can't.
Courage failed her, and she started walking again, but was abruptly interrupted as a lean man in jeans and a white T-shirt came out from the narrow passage between the houses. He was whistling but stopped flat as he saw her. Lisa's cheeks turned burning hot and she was unable to draw her next breath.
Jackson Rippner and Lisa Reisert stared at each other for an infinite moment.
She knew she must've looked afraid.
Because she was.
He looked truly surprised.
But not afraid.
No matter how much she'd had their meeting figured out, she hadn't been able to actually picturing meeting him... ever again.
And here he was.
And here SHE was.
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Jesus-fucking-Christ!
Leese.
It was like a twitch. No matter how amazed he was by seeing her, he couldn't help checking to see if there was anything unusual going on in the neighbourhood. If she had betrayed him… Jackson glanced quickly up and down the street before he looked at her again. While licking his lower lip with the tip of his tongue, a hint of a delighted smile grazed his features. "What brings me the honour?"
"Surprised to see me?" She played cool. He knew she wasn't.
"Very."
"Seabreeze Drive!"
He laughed. "Fitting, ain't it?"
"Very."
"Feet OK?"
At first she didn't seem to get it, but then realisation dawned on her. "Yes, they are, thank you," she snapped.
His smile lingered as he stretched up his arms and clasped his hands behind his neck in a completely relaxed posture. "So... where's the cavalry? The Big Bad Cop? The special forces?" Did you get rid of Baldy?
She snorted and leaned casually against the fence next to her, clearly forcing herself to appear equally calm. "Don't you think I can manage you on my own?"
Amused, he lowered his arms and stepped forward. Leaning against the fence from the other side, somewhat invading her territory, he said in a lower voice, his blue eyes boring into hers, "No."
Lisa wanted so much to take a step back, her whole body spoke of it, but then she'd loose the battle of wills. The pissing contest... She swallowed hard once and shook some hair away from her face. "I'm thirsty. Got anything to offer a lady?"
"Sure. If I find one some day," he answered quickly.
Lisa's cheeks turned red. "Oh, you bastard!"
Jackson laughed out loud. "Well, you handed it out on a silver plate, darling."
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Her heart jumped at the word 'darling' and at the hearty laugh.
"So..." He nodded and began walking towards the door. "What'll you have?"
She followed him but stopped flat when he opened the front door. "Ahm... can we stay outside?" She'd feel safer not entering the house. She wasn't sure why she felt like she needed to take precautions... if she was unsure about him, then maybe she should've stayed away?
Jackson didn't blink. He closed the door and changed direction, nodding for her to come along. "So... what can I offer the LADY?"
Lisa glanced at the items in the passage; a black mountain bike, a pair of rubber boots, a shovel, a bucket full of various painting items... Everything seemed so ordinary, and so far away from whatever she would have connected with the Jackson she'd known.
Lisa stiffened and the breath caught in her throat as he laid a hand on her lower back. "Leese?"
"Ahm... a truck load of Seabreezes would be fine!" she answered quickly.
Jackson laughed again, and that was the sound she had ringing in her ears as the garden opened up in front of her with a breathtaking view of the bay, the city, the Golden Gate and... THE OCEAN!
"It's beautiful, Jackson," she breathed.
"It is, isn't it?" He smiled, standing with one foot on the step to the rear entrance and holding one hand on the door knob.
"Is this yours?"
Jackson raised his eyebrows. "The house? Yes, it is."
"But? Since... when?" She frowned slightly and looked up at the windows on the second floor, one was half open, and a white curtain moved slightly in the mild breeze. She traced the outline of the house with her gaze, then she looked back at him.
"Since last August," he replied calmly.
After the last time we met...
"Why? I wouldn't have figured you to be the domestic kind."
He gave out a short laugh. "Ahm… well, I wanted to buy you a castle, but I gathered you'd feel uncomfortable about that, so I found this..." His eyes glittered with warmth and a hint of tease. "And I thought it was perfect."
Lisa's head was spinning. "What... what are you saying?"
"Did you want that drink?" Smoothly as ever, he changed the subject, giving them both a little, much needed, breathing space.
She slowly stumbled backwards and sat down on one of the wooden chairs at the patio, nodding. "Make it big."
Jackson grinned and the house swallowed him.
Lisa pulled up her knees and hugged her legs. Nothing with this meeting so far had served to calm her inner turmoil; instead it worried her more and more. What have I done, coming here? What if this is a mistake? She really didn't know this man; a dream about someone that had once stolen her heart had turned her whole life upside down and sent her across the country in search of... WHAT?
She was on the verge of leaving when Jackson came back out with a bottle of beer in one hand and a large glass of orange-pink Seabreeze in the other, complete with rattling ice cubes and a straw. He handed the glass to Lisa who almost dropped it.
"Careful!" he grabbed hold of her arm to steady her and her heart stopped. GOD I've missed your touch!
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With a slight tremble, he let go, and Lisa lifted the glass to her cheeks to cool them off, first on one side and then the other. He hid a smile. She seemed flustered, bothered. Good, it wasn't only him then…
"What do you want, Jackson?" she asked, looking down at her hands.
Look at me, Leese, I won't bite.
"I already told you." You.
Lisa frowned and turned her head towards him, nailing him with her gaze. "Stop playing these games! Any more of those and I'll leave!"
"Think I'd let you?" he replied coolly. Not now. Not when you've come to me freely. I'm never letting you out of my sight again.
A look of fright passed her features. "I'd scream my lungs out if you'd lift a hand on me again!" she snapped.
The corner of his mouth twisted into a half smile. As feisty as always… "Relax, Leese. I'm not out to hurt you. I could've done that a million times over by now if I'd wanted."
She exhaled slowly, shakily, and looked down at her feet again. "What is it you want then? What's with all these messages? You just simply couldn't leave me alone, could you!"
"No, I couldn't." He shook his head and continued to study her. Lisa Reisert. She had a simple white blouse and wide linen pants. Her hair hung loose and was longer than a few months back when he'd seen her the last time. The surveillance pictures hadn't done her justice.
Not at all.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
And she was sitting in his chair.
"Why didn't you just come back then? To Miami?" She still refused to meet his gaze.
He snorted. "You'd just have shown me the door again in your ever so sweet manner."
Lisa bit her lower lip, silently acknowledging that statement.
"Soo... I wanted you to come to me," he continued.
"And I did," she concluded and looked up at him.
"Yes, you did." He smiled and drank some of his beer, his eyes never leaving hers.
Lisa took a long sip on her drink and glanced out at the view. Everything was quiet. It was still warm, but the air had begun to cool off. "It's beautiful." She looked at the surroundings. "But there can't be any sunrises here..."
"Actually there's both." Suddenly he felt eager to show her. "The sun rises over there-" He pointed at the skyline of the city that was visible through a thin hallucinatory haze. "- and it sets over there." His arm showed the direction of where the mountains met the sea.
"You've found a good spot," she said, finally relaxing some.
Jackson answered with a smile and cocked his head, glancing at her.
You came.
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As the hours went by, they both got a little inebriated from the drinks, followed by a bottle of red wine, and then a second bottle that remained almost full.
Lisa had begun to get cold, and Jackson had wrapped a thick chequered blanket around her body. His touch made her want to lean her head against his chest. But she didn't dare to... give in.
It was dark, and still. The bright lights from down town San Francisco appeared as vague glittering stars to the left in the background before the pitch black ocean swallowed all light more to the right. In the darkness right in front of them, the unmistakable silhouette of lights from the bride stood out as a beautiful monument.
Somewhere in a distance music was playing; the sound reached them randomly. The crickets nearby chirped almost constantly. Jackson had lit a fire in an iron casket, and the flames were entrancing them both in the dusky night.
"I don't know you," she said slowly, staring at the fire in front of her, sitting relaxed in her chair. Jackson was slouching equally calmly next to her.
"Makes us two, Leese. I don't know myself anymore either. I thought I had it all figured out, but then... this little fiery red-head hotel manager comes along and crushes everything I know... Crushes ME!" He snorted. "I had a lot of time to think in that hospital... and still I came to the completely wrong conclusion. I thought I'd get back to my old life as soon as I had gotten back at you." He gave her a quick sideways glance. "I was wrong..."
Her lips twisted in a sad smile. "You hurt me."
"I'm good at that." He stirred uncomfortably.
She nodded with a lump in her throat.
"And for that I'm sorry," he continued when she didn't say anything.
Lisa tightened her jaw not to give in to the tears that wanted to well up. "Are you going to hurt me again?"
"I don't plan to... no."
"What kind of an answer is that?" she snapped as she turned her head and looked irritated at him.
"An honest."
"What do you want, Jackson?"
"What do YOU want, Lisa?"
She shook her head and gave out a short laugh. "How much time do we have?"
"Enough."
Her smile turned sad. "I also thought I had it all figured out…" She went quiet and had to start over. "I think I want impossible things. And I don't think it'd work between us. We're too different."
"We're a lot more alike than you want to admit, Leese."
"Perhaps... but I don't kill people for a living, Jack." A sudden venom in her voice.
"I'll give you that."
"So… still in the assassination business?" she asked lightly, though the tremble in her voice betrayed her.
He regarded her for a moment. "What do you want to hear?"
"I don't know… the truth? Or… what I can handle to hear…?"
"Would you believe me if I said no?"
"No."
He nodded with a grimace and looked at the horizon.
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Lisa flinched slightly when the tips of his fingers softly touched her cheek. Then she leaned her head towards him and relaxed into the most welcome sensation of his warm hand as it caressed her cool skin.
He hesitated a little, waiting for her response. Then he continued to follow her jaw line, past her chin, and down along her neck, creating goosebumps along the path.
Her whole body went stiff in an ache that wanted to be healed; that wanted to seek salvation in his touch, to sink into the oblivion of belonging. Stretching her neck, she gave him better access to the vulnerability of her throat.
Jackson turned towards her and let his hand, painfully slowly, continue down the front of her blouse, just touching one of her nipples before resting on her belly, his warmth radiating through the thin material of her clothing.
It was almost a protective gesture, like a man would touch a woman carrying his child. Lisa didn't know where she got that thought from, but then there was no room for thoughts anymore as Jackson closed the distance between them and laid his other hand softly behind her neck, pulling her towards him. His unbelievably blue eyes carried a question and Lisa found herself more than willing to answer. Wrapping his arms around her, he let his full lips meet hers.
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As the first rays of sun began to light up the skyline of San Francisco, Lisa and Jackson lost themselves in the smell, the taste, and the warmth of the other. It was like a missing piece of their puzzles had been found and completed their being.
Lisa blushed when he broke the kiss; her heart began pounding harder as he rose and hovered over her. Sinking down on his knees in front of her, he looked questioningly into her eyes. A million thoughts raced through her mind as she met his fiery eyes.
Like liquid fire… a toxic flame…
Jackson smiled, a soft and non-demanding smile, and then he laid his palms on each of her thighs, following their form up to her hips, where he stopped. The gesture was possessive, but soothing at the same time, and Lisa knew he could have done anything to her at that moment, because he had her.
He completely had her.
Cocking his head, he studied her, his thumbs stroking circular patterns on her legs. Then he leaned his head and laid it in her lap, closing his eyes. Lisa lifted a hand and held it in the air, hovering above his head, then she let it sink and touched his silky rich hair. Entwining his fingers in his locks, she thought she saw him smile.
They sat like that for an eternity.
Untouchable.
Blessed in the knowledge of belonging.
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She broke the trance first, speaking into the slightly chilled morning air above his head, pulling the blanket tighter around her body. "I have questions."
He lifted his head and met her gaze, a very brief hint of worry flashed through his heart. "I know."
I know you do. And I know I can't ever answer them all… I'll try, Leese… But there are some things that are better left unspoken of. Things I've done. Things my hands are capable of. You'd leave in a flash if you ever knew.
"I need to know… everything."
Not everything, you don't, trust me. "I'll tell you."
"I… I don't even know what to call you."
"Just… call me by my name."
"Which is…?"
"It's Jackson. I haven't… you know… I haven't lied to you, Leese." He winced and looked tormented for a brief moment. What do you think of me, Leese?
"Don't you live under some alias or something? Aren't you wanted?" She looked puzzled.
He got up and started pacing the patio in front of her. "No, there's nothing on me, I'm a free man." There's nothing money and good contacts can't arrange.
"How…? What will I find if I search in the files for Jackson Rippner?"
"You'll find that Jackson Elias Rippner was born in New York, New York, 30:th of April 1976 by Samantha Anne Rippner and Elias Arthur Rippner. There'll be a couple of parking fines and a car theft from when I was seventeen. No jail time."
"Elias…?" She tasted the name. "And will that be the truth?"
"Yes, it is." THOSE parts are…
She frowned. "Samantha and Elias Rippner?"
He stopped and pulled up his lips into a somewhat twisted smile. "Samantha was French, a beautiful belle de jour, who lived off Mr Rippner Sr. who was a diplomat. We moved from country to country during the first ten years of my life. I was born in New York, raised everywhere. Lived in Wisconsin in a foster home between ten and eighteen. I have no siblings."
"What happened?"
"I already told you."
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'Before I killed them'… She turned dead serious. "Jackson… did you kill your parents…?" She really didn't dare to ask, afraid of what he'd say, but at the same time that was the one crucial question she needed to get an answer to.
He regarded her. "Yes… but in the sense of the law… I guess no."
"I… don't understand."
He pulled his fingers through his hair and licked his lips. "They were always fighting. About her expenses, about his job, about her lovers, about his mistresses… occasionally about me." He grimaced. "All lies… they always lied to each other and to me…" His eyes narrowed as he seemed to lose himself in memories. "We were in a car, they argued about sending me off to a school… not whether to send me away or not, but if this school or that school was the better… I'd heard it before; I tried to say I didn't want to… I didn't want to. Looking back, that probably would've been the best. We fought; he yelled at me, I hit him. He was driving… I didn't have a seat belt on and was thrown out of the car… was found unconscious in the snow. They were burned beyond recognition… She in her expensive white gown, melted onto her body, and he in his suit… How ironic isn't it that they'd been arguing about her dress a few minutes earlier?"
Lisa shook her head, taken aback by the short and emotionless re-telling. "But… it wasn't intentional."
He snorted. "It happened."
"I'm so sorry."
"Why?"
"Well… it's normal to be."
"You didn't know them, Leese."
"I don't know YOU. You tried to kill me…"
"True. And I'm very happy I didn't succeed." He took one step closer. "You know, I have questions too."
"Ehm…OK."
"How come you came here?"
She grimaced and looked away for a moment, at the view over the bay, inhaling the fresh morning air. "I was curious."
"Curious?"
"Well… I… I have thought about you…"
He smiled and his blue eyes glittered as he crouched in front of her, levelling his gaze with hers. "Why?"
"Do we have to…?"
"I think we have to, yes…"
"I've never felt… you know. Before... I wanted to see you."
"You see me now."
She nodded with a lump in her throat. "Yes."
He shifted his stance. "You wanna come inside for a cup of tea and some toast?"
A soft smile spread across her cheeks. "Yes, please, I'm starving."
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Jackson felt the strangest feelings of contentment. His heart jolted with happiness, and he knew enough to cherish the moment, because it had never been for him. Never before had someone come to him, seen him and still stayed.
He had never really thought he'd win this game, this battle between them. He'd never thought he'd be able to convince her to come to him. She was right; they were too different really. But at the same time they mended each other.
Made the other complete.
He knew that at some point his background would come back to haunt him, and there was nothing he could do about that.
I don't ever want to see you turn away from me with contempt.
Everything would've been so much easier if I'd just… taken you… forced you.
He stood and began walking to the rear door.
And for the first time in his life, Jackson was afraid.
For the first time, he had something he could lose.
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As she got up and walked behind him into the house, the morning sun had grown stronger, and with it a frighteningly beautiful feeling of fulfilment spread inside her. Everything was new. This was a territory unthread by them both.
"Are you stealing me away, Jackson?" she asked to his back.
He stopped and turned to look at her. "I don't know, am I?"
The corner of her mouth lifted into a smile.
You were long before you knew, Jackson Rippner.
Long before.
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THE END