REN: Owner's Guide and User Maintenance Manual

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King and the idea for this guide. T.T

A/N: This is in conjunction with the HAO: Owner's Guide and User Maintenance Manual. XD That was popular. I got a lot of reviews for that and all are great reviewers! Thankies all for supporting the fic!

Anyway, I forgot to mention that Theresa Green has granted me permission to write fics like this! So Thankies to her! XD Thank you, Theresa!

For those who haven't read HAO: Owner's Guide and User Maintenance Manual, go read it now and keep those reviews coming in. XD I love reviews! Constructive Critism are okay. But flames will be fed to ASAKURA HAO! So beware... XD

CONGRATULATIONS!

Like the title says, congratulations! You're now the proud owner of the TAO REN unit! Please read this guide thoroughly to ensure that you received full benefits from your MILK-OBSESSED Shaman.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

Name: Tao Ren (a.k.a Ren-kun, Bason's Master, MILK-OBSESSED Shaman)

Note: Rennie, Tao Tao, Shorty, Baby type of names will not be tolerated by the REN unit but the side viewers will think they're cute. The Manufacturers are not responsible by the loss of lives, injuries, spiritual engagements and rebellions from this unit. Call them at your own risk!

Date of Manufacture: January 1st, 1986

Place of Manufactured: Shaman Milk Co., China

Height: Undisclosed (The unit refuses to be measured even though we promised the REN unit that we will include his height along with his hair and his shoes.)

Weight: Undisclosed (It seems like the unit is trying to gain weight so he refuses to be wighed.)

Coloring: Gold, purplish Black, tanned

Length: Classified Information (Try calling the company and all you received is a hung-up and several screams coming from the phone.)

INSTALLATIONS

Your REN unit, after so many considerations, it won't be hard to install. Repeat the same procedures:

STEP 1: Carefully place the crate (yes, a crate) over a soft area, preferably a bed. Please be gentle at this stage. The REN unit is like a baby waiting to be born. He may look hard on the outside but he's actually soft on the inside.

STEP 2: Peel of the seal titled, "GENTLE PLEASE!" gently so you won't upset the unit.

Note: The crate and the seal may seem harmless but who knows? The REN unit is unpredictable. He might even have mood swings.

STEP 3: When opening, you might find the Shaman annoyed and glaring daggers at you for waking him from his 'healthy' sleep. And may instantly attack you with his Horai-ken. At that moment, show him a bottle of fresh milk, preferably low-fat. He will grab it and drink it in one gulp. If he's not in his ANNOYED MODE, then you're fine to begin with.

STEP 4: Please avoid from hugging him and squeal how cute he is at this stage. Remember the Horai-ken? And the milk bottle? Try hugging and slobbering over him will have an instant death since the TAO REN unit doesn't like to be touched.

REMINDER: If you open the carte and found out that the crate is empty, please…DO NOT PANIC! Or immediately yelled Lawsuit! This is already to be expected. You will probably find him with the fridge as he busily searched the fridge for milk!

If you ever have any problem trying to get the REN unit to listen to you, simply bribe him with milk. The milk always works!

ACCESSORIES

Your REN unit comes with the following accessories,

4 sets of Qi Pao (Basic Cloth)

2 spare blades for his Horai-ken (Incase his blades go blunt)

1 Horai-ken

1 Chinese Food Menu

1 small plushie of a cow (It's the closet things to milk and he feels funny carrying milk around him. Say one word, and he will slash you to pieces.)

3 headbands titled, 'I'M THE SHAMAN KING!' in three colors namely, Red, White and Yellow (These headbands are enclosed to ensure that he won't run off into the Shaman Competition, trying to be the next shaman king. He might continue to ramble about how great he is. So be nice and humor him.)

2 wristbands saying, "MILK RULEZ!" in one color namely white (self-explain)

1 Tuxedo (In case he needs to wear formal clothing)

1 set of Kunais and Shurikens (Seems like the REN unit had taken quite a liking to these weapons. He might involuntarily stab someone in his sleep e.g. your cat for an instance thinking that it's the HORO HORO unit. You know how he can get around the HORO HORO unit.)

MODES

The REN unit also comes with a couple of modes.

STUBBORN POINTY-HEAD (default)

ANNOYED (default)

ULTRA-SUPER ANNOYED (ESP. for Horo Horo)

Sad Mode (rarely seen)

OOC Mode (locked)

OBSESSED MODE (default)

PISSED OFF (default)

THROWING TANTRUM (Seen only when it comes to milk)

Since the REN unit seems to have a problem with his temper, the manufacturers think that most of the modes will be default. Please be super ultra careful at the modes. Some may be irritating like the STUBBORN POINTY-HEAD mode since he refused to listen to you.

The REN unit obviously gets annoyed quickly over little things. But that's just his nature. Please note that the SUPER ULTRA ANNOYED mode will only be active if the HORO HORO unit remains to annoy the hell out of the REN unit.

Sometimes, you may see the REN unit in his angst mode. That's when you better run or else you will be torture by his ever-lasting lecture of his symbol of hate. (A/N: Uh..That was just to make things interesting but I personally don't think he will ever do that)

OOC mode? Unlock it and you can have your REN unit be sweet to you. At your own cost too. FOR FANGIRLS.

Ever want to have your REN throw tantrums rather than glaring for a change? Here's a mode for you! Be immune to his glare when he finds no milk in the house. Lock all of the windows and doors so he won't get out and steal some from the neighbors. He can get all crazy if he misses his milk. BE IMMUNE TO HIS GLARES and you will have him rolling on the floor and throwing tantrums. Don't enjoy the show too much or else he might change his mind and choose the other way: KILL.

FEATURES

MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER

The REN unit makes an excellent Martial Arts guru. He knows every inch of arts he must mastered and will pass it onto you for a small fee. Nothing's free you know.

BODYGUARD

Have a lot of enemies which they want to steal your units? Need someone to protect you from the bullies at school? The REN unit is the one for you! He can kick-ass and use his martial arts to keep those bullies or enemies flying across the school's yard! If you're not careful and get scolded by either of your parents, you might as well quickly hide and hope your parents won't know who the REN unit belongs too. Since your REN unit might sense danger to you from your parents, he may martial art them instead.

HEALTH SPECIALIST

Need to know which milk is healthy and have non-fat? Need to know which kind of food will help you lose weight? Fear not! The REN unit is capable of being a great health specialist since he basically needs all of the nutrients to help him get taller and healthier than before!

ATTRACTION

One of the not-so-popular girls in school? Planned a party and you think that not one of the girls will come to your birthday party? Not to worry then! The REN unit, being as cute as he is in the inside will attract the girls like a SUPER GLUE! Tell the girls that the REN unit will be there and you will see them flocking into your house one by one and later by millions. For even a greater attraction to the boys, unlock REN's OOC mode and placed him in a cute dress. The boys will not come one by one at first but instead, they will come at millions! Who knows that the cross dressed and cute REN attracts more boys than girls.

OTHER FEATURES

Believe it or not, the REN unit is capable of helping you to do the house chores like throwing out the rubbish and stuffs like that. He might be as stubborn and lazy as hell when it comes to house work, but who cares? He's already helping by being sitting at the couch quietly instead of making you busier by throwing litters all over the place!

INTERACTIONS

Want to avoid bloodshed? Pay special attention to this part of the guide to avoid bloodshed or serious injuries.

Those units which haven't the REN unit didn't get annoyed with so far:

TAO JUN: The TAO JUN unit is the REN unit's sister! And he loves her as dearly as possible. The only thing he hates about her is her ability to convince REN to help her do her chores and we seriously mean it!

Units which are not and compatible with the REN unit:

YOH: ANNOYING, CAREFREE and the REN unit hated it. (A/N: I love Yoh very much but am only writing this in REN's POV sorry!)

HAO: Not compatible with the REN unit at all. Please note that the HAO unit has already tried to kill the REN unit once and will not hesitate to do it again. The REN unit however, will probably do the same to the HAO unit. Preferably not to put these two together, chaos will ensue.

HORO HORO: Super ULTRA Annoying to the REN unit. Constant bickering like newly-weds is what you get when these two are placed together.

ANNA: Don't like what he sees, so the REN unit will probably on his way. There's no way he want to cross the ANNA unit's path!

BAKUTO NO RYU: Idiotic and mindless in the REN unit's view. As long as he doesn't annoy the REN unit, he's fine to begin with.

HYGIENE

The REN unit functions properly enough to be able to take his own bath and clean himself thoroughly. Like a human being, REN loves taking bath to stay healthy. Although he sometimes hopes that doing so will make him grow taller, but that is impossible to say the least.

SENSITIVITY

The REN unit is very sensitive to the word 'short' if the 'short' word is directed to him. Especially by a particular ICE Shaman. Never ever talk about 'SHORT' things in front of the REN unit if you value your life.

ENERGY

The Ren unit, like any growing teenager, needs to eat to have a healthy growth.

Remember the menu which was enclosed with the crate? The menu consists of mainly Chinese foods, Chinese cuisines, dim sums, Chinese Deserts and everything about Chinese COOKING! Being a Chinese, the REN unit doesn't like any other food unless it's Chinese-related.

Feed him lots and lots of it and let him eat to his heart content! The REN unit seems to only want food which is in his menu so make him or order him the ones he wanted. However, don't be surprised, mad, or sue the manufacturers if some of the Chinese foods are somewhat pricey to begin with.

Resting is also essential for REN. Never wake him up from his beauty sleep or you will feel like you are missing a head.

FAQ & TROUBLESHOOTING

Q: I'm broke! And my REN unit wants to eat the Pork whatever which will cost me around 300 bucks! What should I do! TT A: O.o that's expensive… It's your problem…not mine.

Q: Ren's been stealing my neighbor's milk again. A: Have you read this guide thoroughly?

Q: There's some mistake in your guide! You say that the HORO HORO unit always bickers with the REN unit! That's not true! My HORO HORO UNIT and my REN UNIT get along just fine. They're like brothers! But sometimes…they still get kinda mushy like…
A: Wow! You do know what you just got right? That's the YAOI version! Ah. Love is in the air for both of them. Leave them alone and enjoy the show. They might be more daring if they're alone in the house. XD

Q: The REN unit has been rambling non-stop about Milk. I bought loads but he never seems content with it.
A: Buy him a cow. That might help. XD

Q: Is it me or my REN unit is doing chores all day long?
A: May I ask if you happen to have a TAO JUN unit in your house? If so, maybe you let something slip about REN being a lazy bum to JUN unit. With her ability to convince REN unit to do the chores. It's no problem at all!

Q: The headbands don't seem to help. I constantly found REN sneaking out of the house trying to participate in the Shaman King Competition.
A: Hmm… That's a pain. Make him banners of 'I'M THE GREATEST SHAMAN KING OF ALL TIMES!' Humor him! Throw him flowers! Ask the other units for a favour. Some may be reluctant to do so esp. the ANNA, the HORO HORO and the HAO unit. Bribe them. XD Hao? Easy. Use the ropes!

WARRANTEE

Being a stubborn fellow as he already is, REN will not be placed under a warrantee. He's capable of surviving eve if you placed him in a cage full of lions. You might find them sliced into a barbeque for his strong instinct of surviving.

YES! Finish it! XD Some might wonder why I choose Ren. Well, here's the reason.

I tallied the characters which my reviewers wanted me to do and found out that the results are like this:

REN: 2, YOH: 2, Anna: 2 and Horo Horo: 1

So my sis asked me to do REN so here it is… XD You might be wondering that that Ren's lazy part is somewhat Yoh-ish? Then again, have to make this amusing. So if Ren's OOC in here. Sorry about that!

Simple as that. I think that this is far more better than the HAO one. But then again, I want to know what you reviewers think! So keep those reviews coming in! XD The more the happier I become! So R&R!