Final Chapter!

House stared at the six little faces in the plastic playpen, and the aforementioned faces stared back at him. The seven of them surveyed each other in obvious trepidation.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" he asked the kittens.

They just looked up at him. A couple of them even prrped at him.

"Oh, don't help!" he bitched. Luckily, House was alone. The whole hospital already thought that he was totally warped. Catching him talking to the kittens would have been the cherry on the certifiable sundae. Making everyone uncomfortable was good for a giggle, but House couldn't have anyone advancing with the straightjackets, oh no.

With a sigh, he looked down at the litter. "Well, I suppose your work today earned you all a reprieve. Creative little bastards." He admitted grudgingly.

In the playpen, House Cat hissed at him in offense.

"Oh, shut up. It was a compliment."

The surly ball of white fluff flicked his tail, and narrowed his eyes, as though saying, "Yeah, right!" The others- even Cuddy Cat- gathered around him. It had become obvious that House Cat was in charge. House perked up a little at the sight. He ambled over to the cat carrier, and one by one, started to load up the little hellions. "Maybe this won't suck so bad." He muttered.

Chase Cat went in quietly.

Foreman Cat squawked, but complied. "S.S.D.D."

Wilson Cat also behaved. "Not news."

He started to load Cuddy Cat, but froze when he heard three terrified screeches from within the carrier. He peered in to find the boys squeezed into the back, wide eyed. Little Chase was pawing at his ear maniacally, as though in the throws of Gulf War syndrome. Come to think of it, he had noticed that the little orange tabby's left ear was puffy and swollen right after he'd chased the other doctors out of his office.

He looked at Cuddy Cat, who just stared back at him. She even purred a little, that wasn't a good sign. With a sigh, he stuck Cuddy back in the playpen. He picked up House Cat, who promptly nipped him on the fingers and glared.

House glared back, instantly realizing the problem. He picked up Cameron Cat, and House Cat went quiet. With a growl of frustration, he schlepped the two kittens into the carrier. He could hear purring from within.

Now growling angrily himself, House barely noticed when Cuddy Cat raked her claws through his left hand. He just dumped her into the carrier; his blood dripping just enough to make an evil Rorschach test on his office carpet.

&*&*&*&*&*&

As the five doctors huddled in House's conference room, they breathed a united sigh of relief while watching that angry chore of a man load the cat carrier into his car and drive away.

"Wow!" Cuddy mused. "I didn't think he'd take 'em!"

"House has no problems with some animals. People, on the other hand…" Since everyone knew the answer, he didn't bother finishing.

Everyone in the room gave Wilson a sidelong look. There was a long pause.

Foreman cracked first. "Did you…"

"Buy House Cat and Foreman Cat? Yeah." He admitted sheepishly.

"No way!" gasped Cuddy. "I found little Wilson!"

"Sadly, I actually bought little Cameron." Whispered Doctor Cameron. Her cheeks were bright red.

"I got Chase Cat." Confessed Foreman.

"And yes, I bloody well bought Cuddy." Groused Chase almost cheerily.

"How in the hell did we all have the same idea?" asked Foreman. No one knew if he was being rhetorical or not.

Cuddy, on the other hand… "The dumbass sits around all day with his music- and I don't just mean at home. I thought he could use the company of something... Aside from the bacteria he gets from the hookers…"

"I'm just shocked we all had the same idea." Commented Wilson.

"You bought him two!" accused Chase.

Wilson laughed. "Oh, come on! Just because I bought him a pet-"

"Or two!" Reiterated Chase.

"Doesn't mean I'm dumb enough to leave an innocent kitten alone with him. The little ones need back-up!"

The other doctors actually spoke as one. "Touché."

"So, how bad do you think it's going to get?" blurted Cameron. "I mean, we're now going against House; with sidekicks!"
There was another long pause as the horror of what they had unleashed began to sink in.

Cuddy sank numbly into a chair. "Dear Jesus…" she gasped. "We're doomed."

The End!

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:: NOTE :: For future reference, any story in the House section with my name on it, WILL involve the House Cats!