Title: Attraction
Author: Winter Ashby (rosweldrmr)
Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto & Challange © kakasakudrabble at LiveJournal
Rating: M
Word Count: 500 - exactly!
Summary: It was infuriating, to want her but not want her (Kakashi & Sakura)
Authors Notes: Week 09. Theme: Attraction. This is the last of the drabbles before I post the joint-drabbles I've been working on. There are 2 Arcs. The Voyeurism Arc (kinky) and the Angst Arc (yes, I know - very original name. pfft). So there you have it. They should each be about 4 chapters long. I hope you all will enjoy. More to come soon.
He was attracted to her. That much was clear. He didn't want to admit it. He hated acknowledging she had any kind of power over him. But it was true, truer with each passing day.
He could feel it in his fingers and see it reflected in the mirror.
He was sure everyone else could see it too.
It was like a tattoo that he wore across his forehead and down his sleeves. He was covered in his own fatal flaw. And what's more, he didn't even feel like trying to hide it anymore. Somewhere along the line, between missions and the hospital, he forgot that he was supposed to be above things like wanting, and needing (neither of which he could distinguish when he watched her train). It all melded together, fused under the midday sun and puckered into a kind of desperation he was sure she could smell coming off him in waves.
It was infuriating, to want her but not want her, and all the meanwhile dying a little from all the useless self-restraint he didn't want/relied too much on to keep his attraction from become more than it should – more than it already was.
He was doom, he decided.
Damned if he did, damned if he didn't. He was never big on consequences, but when he practically salivated watching her, he considered that perhaps he would burn in a special kind of hell.
He shouldn't be attracted to her, or her hourglass figure, or her monstrous power, or her innate chakra abilities. He shouldn't be attracted to a single attribute of his former student, and he knew it.
He cursed Jiraiya for corrupting him so completely that he couldn't even distinguish the line between slightly inappropriate reading material and outright taboo lusting. It was easier to blame someone else, at least then, he could take someone down with him.
He started to replace the images from his books with pink hair, green eyes and healing chakra. He stopped reading then and decided that he was just childish enough to hate her because she ruined his books.
She doesn't seem to notice though, and that only made it harder to keep away.
He watches and pretends that he can't see the way her toned muscles slide and buckle under the skin-tight ANBU uniform. He pretends that her own swirling tattoo doesn't make him want to beg her to take him home. He pretends too much.
Except when he's all alone at night, with nothing but his loose morals and wicked imagination, and it's enough to make him give in, if only for himself. He pictures her in his mind as he strains for a completion that will never fully come. And when it's all said and done, he's left just as empty as he was before. An aching kind of want slowly replaces lust, piece by piece, bit by bit. So that he doesn't really notice he's falling in love with her, not until it's too late.
Oh, snuck that 'L' word there at the end, didn't I? Sneaky, sneaky.