Sam's Notebook

Sam's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own this show unless Butch decided to like, write a will and give it to me and I wasn't informed…. Oh, the poems are mine!

Ok, so ya, this is Sam's notebook where she writes all her inner most thoughts and stuff like that. It's from my actual notebook where I write poems and draw pictures and stuff so ya…

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I don't like diaries so, I keep a notebook. It's less cliché. My notebook is a deep purple and contains all my true feelings. My true feelings about Danny, my points of view, and why I am the way I am. I don't capitalize anything. I think it expresses things better lower case.

a single tear

a single tear

escapes my eyes

the eyes i've kept

dry so long

a single word

escapes my lips

the lips i've kept

silent for so long

a single breath

fills my lungs

the lungs i've kept

empty for so long

a single thought

crosses my mind

the mind i've kept

numb so long

a single tear

escapes my eyes

the eyes i've kept

dry so long…

That's the poem I wrote after the Ember incident. I felt so strange after that. I wanted to cry but I never did. Danny chasing after me like that shattered my whole world and made me cry, speak, breath and think after not doing it for so long.

the silent battle

the sun is setting

my time is gone

yet, forever,

the battle rages on

the horizon glowing

the peace settling

yet, forever

the silent battle rages on

I wrote that after I figured out that I was in love with my best friend and had to deny it on a daily basis. It nearly killed me.

sometimes i wonder

sometimes i wonder

what if i never saw

another sunrise

another sunset

sometimes i wonder

if the world can

tell black

from white

sometimes i wonder

if i hadn't cried

would you be here

of somewhere else

sometimes i wonder

if the sun never showed

would the feeling grow

or would it die away

sometimes i wonder

if the days never passed

would time stand still

or move on

sometimes i wonder

When I felt that if I had never felt something about Danny, I wrote that.

tomorrow is wednesday

or so i'm told

your lies are getting

really old

i can't wait

to slow this down

to run the gauntlet

right outta town

break the sound barrier

shatter it all

down to the ground

ceilings fall

the world is gone

its story's been told

fatality rate

increased ten fold

runnin' wild

runnin' free

hey no such thing as jealousy

forging money

and small white lies

on the floor alone

i cry

the lines been drawn

don't you dare cross over

seventy men

undercover

followed by the elements

taken over by the government

tracing shapes

with my fingers

falling down

in different colors

tension so thick

you could cut it with a knife

stars are falling so save my life

the is locked

i've thrown away my key

mental crisis

emotional breakdown

turn the camera to the left

take a picture so it can last

That one was supposed to be a song but I never got around to writing the music. I thought it explained the world today perfectly.

only a single spark

only a spark

a single spark

remains

it's all i'm left with

the rest are gone

gone with my imagination

with my life

with my tears

with my breath

gone with them

and i'm only left

with only a spark

a single spark

is the hope left

inside of me

That's how I feel about Danny. There's only a little bit of hope left inside of me that makes me believe that he might be able to love me like I love him.

if only you knew

if only you knew

how badly you were hurting me

i don't cry anymore

cause i have no tears left

everyday i pray

that you'll find this

and realize all you've ever done

but i'm aware that'll never happen

and that i'm going to walk away hurt

i'm never gonna get my fairy tale

my happy ever after

if only you knew

how badly you were hurting me

yes you

you are the one

who's hurting me

but i don't cry anymore

cause i don't care anymore

I wrote that after I swore that I would never love Danny because I thought he'd never realize that he was hurting me.

to be truly prepared

to be truly prepared

means to be able

to accept the worst

and the best

to want someone

to be happy

even if their happiness

does not include you

to be able to accept

the consequences

of your actions

to know the answers

to the questions

that can affect

your life

for the worse

only then can you be truly prepared

I wrote that after Danny said he needed to tell me something. It went like this…

Flashback:

I had been emailing Danny. He would have normally been using IM but, I don't have it. I sent him an email.

"Sorry I didn't email sooner, I was watching a movie." I had expected him to ask what movie I had been watching.

"That's ok, I need to ask you something"

"What?"

"You know that time Tucker dared you to tell me you loved me?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, did you mean it?"

Just as I was highlighting the message to reply, it scrolled down further than I had expected. At the very bottom of the email it said: "Because I love you too."

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Keep in mind that these were based off of real experiences so, don't shot me! I'm going to write a sequel or a new chapter explaining what happened after… Review please!

Dark Elf Angel