A/N: Okay, by popular demand, here's Lorne's epilogue. It was basically written in less than an hour as a way to keep from studying for my chemistry test, so it's not one of the best things I've ever written. The two OFC's are bland as vanilla pudding, but really they're just there to look pretty and let Lorne get some, because he's a hottie, and therefore deserves some lovin'. (Think of them as my version of Norena.) I'm relatively certain they come off as incredibly blasé Mary Sues, but for god's sake, BiteMeTechie, keep Lenny away from them until the end of the fic, or Lorne will have no one to "get it on" with. ;) I feel I should probably warn those of you who are Lorne/Parrish fans, the only slash I'm a fan of is McKay/Sheppard, so you'll get nada from me. Sorry!

oOo

When Major Marcus Lorne awoke, it took him a moment to gather his fuzzy thoughts. Slowly, as the previous night's events filtered back into his memory, he felt a smug grin form on his face. Who would've thought that a routine meet-and-greet would end up quite like this?

Lorne had mentally dubbed P3R-252 "Planet of the Weird-Ass Plant Life" as soon as he stepped through the gate, what with the purple-tinged, translucent palm trees and orange spiky flowers the size of his head, among other things. But the Erovian people were friendly enough, and seemed willing to trade. Parrish was having a field day with all the strange crop plants they had to offer, and the village leaders were so pleased with his reaction they even offered to have one of their scientists take him on a tour of the area, to let him collect some samples of native wildlife. Lorne had decided to escort the pair through the "forest." Parrish had a knack for finding trouble even under the most innocent circumstances, and so far Atlantis had a lousy track record with supposed "allies." Really, he told himself, he was only being cautious, and it had nothing to do with the fact that the Erovian botanist was a babe.

She had taken them down a narrow path through the wilderness, patiently answering Parrish's eager questions, seeming amused by his enthusiasm. As he took samples, she mentioned each plant's medicinal or ornamental value, while Parrish dutifully took notes. Lorne got bored quickly, and tuned them out while he kept a watchful eye on the perimeter, trying not to be distracted by the oddly colored scenery. It wasn't until the Erovian woman let out an alarmed shout that his attention snapped back to the pair. She had her hand on Parrish's arm, holding him back as he reached out towards a small, grayish-green plant. "No," she repeated firmly, "You mustn't touch the Lilacia, at any cost."

Parrish swallowed hard and slowly withdrew his hand. "Is it poisonous?" he asked.

She seemed to consider his question, then answered, "Not exactly, but it does have other properties."

"Such as?" Lorne questioned.

"It affects different people in different ways. Some have a natural immunity to the plant, while others…Well, perhaps the answer to your question lies in the history of the plant. According to legend, a young man wished to woo the woman he loved, but could not find a way to approach her. The goddess of love took pity on him, so she created this plant. The young man gave his beloved a bouquet of magnificent flowers in which the Lilacia was hidden, and she came to realize her true feelings for him. The young man named the plant after the goddess of love in thanks for her kindness."

Lorne quirked on eyebrow upwards, examining the plant more closely. It was small, with sickly-looking leaves and fuzzy grey pods sticking out the top. He wouldn't expect a plant named after a love goddess to be quite so…ugly. "So, it's an aphrodisiac," he surmised.

"I am unfamiliar with that word." She pursed her lips adorably in confusion.

"We're safe here, right?" Parrish asked abruptly. "I mean, it can't affect us from a distance, can it?"

She shook her head in answer, making her long blond curls bounce in the sunlight. "It has several days yet before it ripens, then the pods will burst, spreading the stimulating part of the plant through the air. Those in the community not immune to its powers will be secluded for three days, until the effects have worn off."

"Well, if it's not ripe yet, why can't I take a sample?" Lorne could tell Parrish was just itching to get his hands on the plant and study it. Not that Lorne could really blame him. With properties like that, he was a little curious himself.

"The pods may burst prematurely if the plant is disturbed. Although it is not yet fully ripe, the effects will be just as potent."

Parrish eyed the plant once more, with obvious interest. "But, if I was very careful, I'm sure I could—"

"Maybe we should listen to what the lady has to say," Lorne interrupted. "After all, she seems to know what she's talking about," he continued, giving her a friendly nod.

She smiled as she replied, "I should hope so. It is the flower I was named after." Then she turned with a wink and led Parrish back down the path. Lorne followed behind, allowing himself a long look. Unlike that hideous flower, this Lilacia chick being named after the goddess of love made a lot more sense.

oOo

After their little hike through the wilderness, the Erovians had put together a banquet in their honor. Lorne, as team leader, had naturally been seated next to their chief diplomat, Rosalla. Normally he hated playing nicey-nice with the local politicians, but in this case, he wasn't complaining. If he considered Lilacia a babe, then Rosalla was a knock-out. Besides, he's always had a thing for redheads.

"Major Lorne," she began, "I would like to thank you again, on behalf of my people, for your generosity. And please, pass my gratitude on to Dr. Parrish as well. His suggestions for increasing our crop yields will be most beneficial to us in the coming months."

"I'll be sure to do that, ma'am. I know he'll appreciate it." Parrish had disappeared early into the banquet, but that wasn't a rare occurrence. If he wasn't always heading off to poke around with his boring plants, Lorne may have been jealous of his ability to slip out of these official functions unnoticed. He was probably milling around the Erovian lab right now, having the time of his life. Lorne couldn't understand how anyone could get such a kick out of a pile of dead leaves.

"And I will be sure to mention my appreciation to your leader, Dr. Weir, when we meet tomorrow to finalize negotiations," Rosalla continued with a solemn nod. "I'm looking forward to meeting her. She must be an extraordinary woman, to have gained the trust and allegiance of such a fine soldier."

Lorne couldn't be sure, but if push came to shove he'd bet money that she was flirting with him, and had been all night. Smiling warmly, Lorne thanked her for the compliment, and turned back to his meal, blushing slightly. He wondered briefly if this was what Sheppard felt like on a regular basis.

oOo

The next day, as they geared up to go home, Lorne noticed Parrish loading up his samples with extra care. He supposed that for a botanist, this planet was like Disneyland and Christmas all rolled up in one, so it was natural for the man to want to protect his precious souvenirs. For Lorne and the rest of his team, however, they were just eager to get off the planet that had quickly become hay fever hell.

As they stepped through the gate, the team and the Erovian delegation were greeted by Dr. Weir. She doled out the necessary pleasantries as she ushered Rosalla and Lilacia into the conference room, but Parrish hung back, obviously eager to bustle off to his lab. Rolling his eyes at the scientist, Lorne said, "Fine, go play with your plants." Parrish smiled, and then was off like a shot, headed for his lab. He hadn't made it five steps before his natural klutziness took over, and he tripped. He fell flat on his face, his bag of samples flying into the air and skittering across the floor, finally resting a good ten feet from the doctor. Manfully repressing a smirk, Lorne grabbed the scientist by the back of his vest and hauled him to his feet, unable to resist a little teasing. "Honestly, Parrish, I don't know how you've managed to survive this long."

Parrish just looked back at him with wide eyes. "I, uhm…I need to just…check something." Dashing over to his bag, Parrish recovered his samples and stuffed them in the pack, peering in to examine the contents. When he looked back up, he seemed a little pale, and motioned over his shoulder as he spoke. "I'll just be…in the lab." Before Lorne could respond, Parrish beat a hasty retreat toward the biology wing, practically leaving a cloud of dust in his tracks. Lorne regarded his exit with a furrowed brow, before finally just chalking it up to Parrish being Parrish, and headed into the conference room to join in the negotiations.

The talks were going well, at least for the first five minutes. Outside the conference room, Lt. Cadman and Dr. McKay were recalibrating some control crystals, bickering as usual, while the Canadian technician whose name Lorne could never remember ran diagnostics after each calibration. The first sign that there was something amiss was when Dr. Weir became distracted, paying more attention to what was going on in the Gateroom than to the negotiations. Since Lorne found politics to be about as exciting as, well, botany, he felt he had an excuse to be watching the calibrations with interest, but Dr. Weir was nothing if not professional. He was pondering her obvious inattention when he felt a hand on his knee, and he was pretty sure it wasn't his. Looking down, his suspicions were confirmed when he found Lilacia's hand resting firmly on his thigh, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Shocked and a bit flattered, he tried to be discreet as he gently removed her hand, placing it instead in her own lap. When he looked up again, he was sure he was blushing, and refused to meet her eyes. Instead, he focused on the control room, spying Dr. Biro's approach. To his utter dismay, he watched her walk right up to that Canadian technician and plant herself in his lap. The poor man looked so shocked that his eyes might roll right out of his head. Suddenly, he felt Lilacia's hand reclaim his knee, followed quickly by a definite squeeze. When Rosalla repeated the action on his other knee, he nearly swallowed his tongue in shock. Blushing profusely now, he cleared his throat and was about to excuse himself when Dr. Weir stood, not taking her eyes off the Gateroom. "If you'll just excuse me for one moment…" she muttered absentmindedly before heading out the doors, running down the steps and literally flinging herself at McKay. Cadman took one look at the leader of Atlantis wrapped around the chief of science, one look at the couple entwined at the control console, then promptly headed out of the Gateroom like a woman on a mission.

It didn't take Lorne long to figure out what had happened. Standing abruptly, he ground out one word. "Parrish!" Exiting the conference room, he left two very disappointed women behind and headed off to pummel the moronic botanist. He passed a tomato-red McKay as he hauled the clinging Dr. Weir in the same direction Cadman had run off to, but Lorne headed the opposite direction, towards the botany labs. He was about halfway there when he realized Lilacia was following him, calling his name. She caught up to him and grabbed his arm, forcing him to turn and face her.

"Major Lorne, where are you going?" she asked.

Lorne's temper flared. "I'm going to kick Parrish's skinny, idiotic—"

"It won't help," she interrupted. "The damage is already done. Unless you have a means of secluding those among you that are infected, there is nothing you can do but wait."

Well, at least that was an idea. He tried to ignore the fact that Lilacia's hand had migrated from his arm up to the back of his neck, where her fingers were making lazy circles as they twirled in his hair, a dreamy expression on her face. Instead, he tried to focus on putting his half-baked plan into action. Realizing he certainly couldn't track down half of the population on his own, especially with Lilacia wrapped around him like a vine, he did the next best thing, and called for reinforcements. Tapping his radio, he called, "Colonel Sheppard, come in please." When he got no response, he tried again. "Colonel Sheppard, please respond."

Lorne heard what he thought was a low growl before Sheppard's voice said, "I'm a little busy right now, Major. Call back later," and the connection immediately clicked off.

"Okay, so, no help there," Lorne muttered before Lilacia pressed her lips to the side of his neck, making him suck in a surprised breath. If he wasn't careful, she'd leave one hell of a hicky, and he didn't fancy explaining that to his superiors come tomorrow morning. Gently shoving her away and holding her at arm's length, he tried to reason with her. "Lilacia, stop. You're being controlled by this drug, or alien spore, or whatever. This isn't you."

Raising a dainty eyebrow, she replied, "If you are assuming, Major Lorne, that I didn't want to do this the moment you walked through the gate on Erovia, then you are sadly mistaken."

Lorne felt her hand snake out to rest on the back of his neck again, and considered her words. Sure, he wasn't exactly hard up, but he wasn't blind either, and there was only so much a man could take with a hot blond in his arms. Smiling slightly, he pulled Lilacia towards him, their mouths meeting in a tentative kiss. Her fingers threaded through his hair, making it stand on end, and just as things were getting heated, he heard footsteps approaching, fast. He managed to pull himself away from Lilacia just in time to see Zelenka streak past at roughly the speed of light, a string of Czech curses streaming from his mouth. A split second later, Kavanaugh followed.

Lorne made a disgusted face. "Oh, now that's just wrong." He decided that if he didn't get some help, and fast, the city could very well degenerate into utter chaos. There was one person he knew would be able to figure out what was going on and cure it. Calling upon all his military training to ignore whatever amazing thing Lilacia was doing to his earlobe, he tapped his radio once more. "Uh, Doc?" he called getting only another low growl followed by static. "Doc?" he tried again. "Dr. Beckett?" Lilacia halted his increasingly insistent calls for Beckett by pressing her body flush against his and capturing his mouth in another kiss. Lorne had a brief moment of resistance before figuring, "Well, if you can't beat 'em…" and met Lilacia's pouty lips with a searing, passionate kiss. Things got a little fuzzy from there.

Somehow, they'd managed to stumble back to his quarters, obviously, since that's where he awoke. Gazing at the golden head that was sleeping soundly in his bed, he decided he'd have to thank Beckett for not responding to his calls, whatever the reason. Heck, he might just even thank Parrish for being a dimwit and bringing that plant back with him. Those alien spores might not have been that bad, after all. The memories continued to percolate back into his hazy mind, and he felt his grin widen as the memory of running into someone just outside his quarters hit him. Turning to his opposite side, he met the sleepy face and red hair of Rosalla, and felt his grin stretch to epic proportions. Oh, yes, he decided alien spores were definitely a good thing.

oOo

A/N: There ya go, Lorne got his groove on, now I am officially done with this fic! Not that I didn't enjoy writing it, but I liked the first part a lot better than the second, and although I love Lorne to pieces, I think I suck at writing him, and surprisingly enjoyed writing Parrish much more. Huh, go figure. O.o This part didn't turn out nearly as good on paper as it was in my head, but I think that can be explained by my lack of sufficient caffeination while writing, and my stress over my upcoming test. Hopefully, now that I've restocked my supply of Starbuck's and Chex Mix, the mother of all chapters of Something's Come Up will be done by the end of the week, and will be a lot better than this drivel. I may just delete this chapter, I dislike it that much. Meh, we'll see.