It's:
The
Meta Knight and Wario REJECT SHOW!
Disclaimer: I may not own Meta Knight and Wario, but I pwn Meta Knight and Wario. Kind of.
Starring Meta Knight and… Wario!
"Welcome to…" said Meta Knight.
"…the Wario and Meta Knight Show!" said Wario.
"You mean, the Meta Knight and Wario Reject Show," said Meta Knight, his eyes locking onto Wario beneath his mask.
"Hey, why do you get to be first?" said Wario.
"Alphabetical order," said Meta Knight.
"Pfft," said Wario. "That's stupid. Whose idea was this show, Meta Knight?"
"Mine," said Meta Knight.
"And who spent all that money trying to sell this to a major broadcaster?" said Wario.
"I did," said Meta Knight.
"But who," interjected Wario, "cares about this show the most?"
"Me," said Meta Knight.
"So who deserves to have their name first?" said Wario.
"I do," said Meta Knight.
"Exactly," said Wario. "Now that we've gotten that out of the way, welcome to the Meta Knight and Wario Show!"
The studio audience clapped politely.
"Reject show," added Meta Knight.
"Yeah, I don't get that," said their producer, walking onto stage. "Why 'reject'?"
The producer happened to be a small Mr Saturn who spoke really weird. In case you wanted to know.
"It's because we're really unpopular," whispered Meta Knight in his mysterious voice. "The majority of coverage for the next Super Smash Bros is going towards that character-from-Metal-Gear-Solid-whose-name-rhymes-with-cake, who shall not be named, as well as that only-character-in-the-freaking-entirety-of-Kid-Icarus, who shall also remain unnamed."
"We're not real happy with them," added Wario helpfully.
"Exactly," said Meta Knight. "We felt that we needed more in the way of exposure. This little chat show is just one way of getting the attention of all those rabid fangirls."
"And boys," added Wario.
"As if males read or write fanfiction," said Meta Knight. "And why would you want fanboys anyway?"
"And girls," added Wario.
"Right," said the producer.
"Yes," said Meta Knight. "There's actually a lot of appeal in someone who is essentially a blue Kirby with prehensile digits and glowing yellow eyes. It could be the latest fashion."
The audience clapped appreciatively.
"Right," said the producer. "I'll just leave you two to do what you want before this gets canned."
"Thanks," said Wario. "How long do we have?"
"Oh, about twenty minutes," said the producer.
"Right," said Meta Knight. "Well, we figured that we need to make ourselves look 'cool'." He visibly shuddered as he said the last word.
"So to do that," said Wario, "we're bringing in Mario and Kirby! They're cool, I think. And they can vouch for us being cool, too!"
Mario and Kirby were pushed in front of the cameras with a broom.
"Well, hi-a," said Mario, looking uncomfortable. "Er… Wario deserves his own fics too… why am I doing this? I don't-a need the money!"
"I think I got Bowser to kidnap Peach," said Wario.
"That's-a right," said Mario. "So will he let-a her go now?"
"Yup," said Wario.
"Okay," said Mario.
"This show really sucks," said Kirby, looking at the camera and trying to work out where the food came out.
"But not us, right?" hinted Meta Knight.
"No, you're cool," said Kirby. "Uh, yeah, for the record, Meta Knight and I are good friends, and, uh… hey, is that a sandwich you're eating?"
"That's my sword," said Meta Knight, "and I'm not eating anything."
"Ah," said Kirby. "My bad."
Wairo and Mario suddenly started fighting to the death.
"This is stupid," said Kirby. "Maybe I should just go. You two are never going to get a fic of your own beyond this one."
"No!" shouted Meta Knight in despair. "I challenge you to a duel!"
"What? Why?" said Kirby.
"Uh…" said Meta Knight.
"This is even more stupid than the time you tried to destroy Pop Star," said Kirby.
"That was an accident," said Meta Knight, "I was possessed."
"Sure," said Kirby.
"Hey-a, look at the bright side," said Mario, as he slapped Wario a lot, "you two aren't the only SSBB characters who don't-a get their own stories. What about-a Zero Suit Samus?"
"…" said Meta Knight angrily.
"Oh, right," said Mario.
"There's Snake," said Kirby. "I mean, come on, Pit is the only one who's really getting attention."
"Snake gets a box," hissed Meta Knight.
"Point," said Kirby.
Wario threw a hammer at Mario, but missed by a huge margin and instead hit Meta Knight in the head, mortally wounding him.
"Nooo!" cried Kirby, diving down.
"Kirby…" whispered Meta Knight, as he lay bleeding to death, "you must be strong… you are a true Star Warrior… you will save the universe."
"But Meta Knight," said Kirby, tears in his eyes, "you can't die!"
"Yes I can," whispered Meta Knight hoarsely.
"No, you can't!" cried Kirby.
"Yes, Kirby, I can," said Meta Knight, his voice calm.
"No you can't!" shouted Kirby.
"Yes!" shouted Meta Knight.
"No!" shouted Kirby.
"Yes!" shouted Meta Knight.
"NOOOOO!" shouted Kirby.
"Oh, yeah?" said Meta Knight. "Then how do you explain this?"
Meta Knight died.
Everyone gasped in horror.
"Nooo!" shouted various Meta Team members.
"Nooo!" shouted the Halberd, despite its not being self-aware.
"Hey," said Wario, "can I lighten the mood with a fart joke?"
Thankfully, before things could get any worse, Mario hit Wario in the head with a hammer.
"I guess that's-a that, then," said Mario.
"Yeah," said Kirby. "Hey, now there's a reason that nobody wants to write fics about them."
"Nobody writes Wario fics anyway," said Mario.
"Well, now there's a reason for nobody to write about Meta Knight," said Kirby.
"It's-a not too late for angsty moment-of-death poems-a," said Mario.
"True," said Kirby.
They left.
"Your twenty minutes is up," said the producer, walking into the studio, "the show's just been can-"
He looked at the body.
"Oh, dear."
He left.
The audience left.
Meta Knight and Wario didn't leave, though, because they were dead.
How angsty.