Pansy gazed out the underwater window of her dormitory. She'd just woken up, and after opening the door to let the room air out, she'd taken to gazing out the watery porthole. Like the common room, a few of the dorms possessed small, enchanted windows that allowed a priceless view into the murky loch. It was really quite beautiful, until you caught Grindylow watching you dress. Pansy was about to begin her daily morning routine when she heard the soft call of an owl. She spun around and squinted out the window.

Upon realizing owls couldn't swim she turned to see as one swoop in through the open door and land on her bed.

"It's Mama's Owl!" Pansy cried and rushed forward to gently extracted the letter from the owl's beak. Relieved of its burden, the owl flew off out the door.

Pansy wasted no time in opening her letter. Awoken by the commotion, her friends slowly began to gather around her.

"Dear Pansy," She read for their benefit, sure the letter would contain something fabulous for them to be jealous about, and she was not disappointed. "Father and I were most elated to accept an offer on your behalf in the terms of a marriage proposal. You see, Pansy, your sweetheart had written the head of his family and expressed interest in taking your hand. We all sat down and talked it over and deemed it a good match."

Pansy squeed and began jumping on her bed.

"Draco! Draco! Draco!" She chanted with glee. "I can't believe him! I'm going to marry Draco Malfoy! I'm going to be Mrs. Draco Malfoy!"

Daphne Greengrass, one of her roommates, picked up the fallen letter and continued to read, "The ceremony will take place at five this afternoon at the Lake."

"I'm going to marry Draco Malfoy tonight!" Pansy shrieked with fear and snatched the letter from Daphne. She continued to read her mother's tidy scrawl. "Do not fret, dear. Father and I are taking care of everything. All you have to worry about is making yourself all pretty for your special day! Everything you need will be sent to you by owl. Good luck, we'll see you tonight. Love, Mother."

The room erupted into squees. Except for Millicent who magiced some earplugs and went back to bed.

"Oh my Merlin! Oh my Merlin! Oh my Merlin! Oh my Merlin! Oh my Merlin!" Daphne hyperventilated. "I can't believe it, you're getting married!"

"This is, like, so bloody cool!" Tracey Davis, Pansy's other friend cried, clapping her hands.

"I'm going to be Pansy Malfoy! Pansy Malfoy!" Pansy soon-to-be-Malfoy yelled. She turned to her friends and said, "You guys are going to be my bridesmaids and Draco will get Blaise and Nott to be his groomsman! And at the Lake at Sunset? It's going to be so romantic! But, we've only got nine hours!" As Pansy calmed down, several packages and bags were tossed through the door by a fleet of Owls.

"Ladies," Pansy said, the other girls hushed and they all gazed at the mounting pile of wedding supplies, "we've got work to do."

\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/

"Good day, Fred."

"Good day, George."

The twins greeted each other in the sprawling corridor of the forth floor, their arms laden with books. The turned and began walking towards the Library.

"Lovely day for a trip to the Library, don't you agree?"

"Indeed, my good fellow."

"We don't spend nearly as much time there as we ought to."

"Too true."

Just then they spotted a familiar bushy head headed in the same direction as they were. They sped up until they were both right behind her.

"Hermione!"

"Good morning!"

"Morning Fred," She said, evenly. "George."

"We're just heading off to the Library," Fred informed her.

"Returning some books," George added.

"I presume that's where you're headed?" Fred asked.

"You presume correctly," Hermione said. "And I pleased that you seem to be taking your studies seriously this year. Let me know if you need any help."

They had arrived at the vast dusty cavern that was Hogwart's Library and Hermione headed swiftly off to the Charms section. Keeping an eye out for Madam Pince, Fred and George hurried off into the Defense Against the Dark Arts section.

"Okay, Fred," said George, "some of these are bound to feel right at home here."

Fred and George quickly squeezed several books onto the shelves. They asked a first year for directions to the Muggle Studies section and left there a book on Halloween. A book with a buxom witch on a broomstick went into the well trampled Quidditch section and so on. The twins then decided to venture deeper into the Library, which was a lot bigger than the originally assumed. They past departments devoted to Goblins, Wizarding Law, Magical Creatures, they left a green book with a deck of cards in the Ancient Rune section. As they neared the dustiest and the most desolate sections of the Library they spotted an extremely attractive and slightly familiar girl leaning against a shelf fiddling with a small white (clearly Muggle) electronic device. The twins remembered they had seen her introduction in the Great Hall and her attempts to team up with Harry, telling him she had the key to defeating Voldemort. They also heard Ginny had tried to strangle her once.

Noticing the two boys approach, Maridith-Suzanna carefully extracted her ear-buds and let a smile spread across her face. She slowly pushed herself off the shelf and dropped her iPod into her purse which matched her eyes perfectly today. She sashayed and reveled in her own beauty as she watched the Twins watch her swaying hips.

"Hey," she said simply, but she really didn't need to worry about saying anything too complicated, what with a body like hers.

"Baby, they should lock you up in Azkaban…"

"…Because you just stole our hearts."

"Oh, boys!" Maridith giggled. "I do love twins! What have you got there?"

Maridith picked a book off of George's pile and examined the title.

"Spells for Love?" She read aloud in her musical voice. "Brewing up something naughty?"

"Back!" Hermione suddenly sprung out from behind a bookshelf brandishing a spray can. She held down on the nozzle and a faint smell of broccoli filled the air as a clear mist was released from the can. "Back, you!"

Maridith shrieked and dropped the book. She held her designer purse over her severely straight auburn hair and perfectly proportioned face and retreated down the aisle as fast as her high heeled boots could carry her.

Hermione turned and glared at the twins.

"What were you going talking to her? Did you not get the house-wide memo I sent out? Stay away from her!"

"Why?" The twins demanded in unison.

"Because! She's an unnatural abomination! And as soon as I figure out how to destroy her she's….destroyed!"

"Destroy her?"

"Why?"

"The Library has a very limited selection of books on the subject!" She informed them, not really answering the question, her tone slightly hysterical. "The only thing I've been able to come up with is this repellant."

"What's in it?"

"Mostly rat spleen and proper grammar. The later was extremely hard to come by. I've been hunting her. She likes to lurk in the lesser visited sections of the Library and wait for students to seduce and rape."

"I really wouldn't mind…."

"…To be perfectly honest."

"She's hot."

"Very hot."

"Hot? You're lucky I came in when I did! We don't know what kind of diseases it could be carrying." With a threatening glare that reminded them of their mother and a farewell spray of repellent to the twins' crotch areas, Hermione disappeared off towards the section Maridith had escaped into. After a moment of silence, Ernie Macmillan emerged from another shelf. He had a book bag slung over one shoulder and was also carrying a can of repellent. He tossed a chocolate frog at the twins and then headed in the opposite direction.

The twins ignored his presence.

"I'd still shag her."

"My junk smells like Broccoli."

\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/\V/

Rule #24: I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the Library shelves.

Disclaimer: All books mentioned and or alluded to are those of Silver Ravenwolf and not the creation of this Fanfic (neither is Harry Potter and its characters and concepts in case you didn't get the house-wide memo). The Mary Sue repellant is mine, however, and should only be brewed under the direct supervision of a certified Potion Master.