Rei: Wah I'm so sorry ;-; I've had a lot of crap to do for school and everything else. And I've been a little depressed and had writer's block. I decided to finish the chapter since I already had some done. I hope I can manage to keep the story funny still -.-;
Dedicated to- Kawaii Eyez You guessed right! And I luff ya:3 Clouffie forever girl XD
Also, to my reviewers, THANK YOU ALL! I love your reviews. They are inspiring and it pleases me to know I can make some people laugh. If you have any ideas for me or something you want in the fic tell me but so you know I will NEVER do a lemon scene. :O GROSSNESS…
Disclaimer: Scans paperwork Hmm… nope… According to this contract only Square Enix owns FFVII. Not me. WOE! And I don't own Ebay.
The Book of Cloud Chapter Four- KO'ed, Cookies, and Assorted 'Evil'
"Speech"
'Thought'
FlashbackIn Edge-
Yuffie's POV
'OH YEAH! I can't believe Teef let us off like that. It RULED! I am so glad we took this shopping trip. If it weren't for me making her promise me one and then later actually GOING shopping, then I would never have been riding on the back of Cloud's sexy Fenrir, with my arms around his waist, might I add!'
I felt like a giddy little schoolgirl (cue the high-pitched giggles here), which I wasn't, because I was a NINJA. Anyway, I couldn't believe my luck. It feels like I've died and gone to the Lifestream! Except the Lifestream would never feel this good… 'WHOA!' I can feel Cloud's muscles through his shirt! I think I started drooling… 'Smexy…' I rubbed my nose hastily, because it itched a lot, and was shocked to see blood. 'OH MY GAWD! I have a nosebleed!' It wasn't like I haven't had one of those before but I've never gotten a nosebleed just from sheer contact! I better make sure Cloudy doesn't see me or he'll go all Mother Chocobo on me. o.0
I grabbed my handy handkerchief and wiped my nose with it- keeping in mind that Cloud has mirrors on his bike so I have to be careful. I pinched my nose and waited for a minute or so before sniffling and stuck my now bloody handkerchief in my pocket with a grimace. 'I'm going to need to wash out the blood later. Grossness!'
But anyway, back to Cloudy and I. It was sooo freaking awesome that Teef let us go… What? You don't get it? Fine, I'll show ya!
Don't cha just love these flashbacks?I, the GREAT Ninja Yuffie was hanging around Boobs –cough- excuse me my BFF Teef because Cloudy wouldn't come back out of the dressing room after the blushing-and-hugging episode. I bet he is secretly in love with me! Either that or he just has to try on more clothes… But I prefer the first one. :3
Anyway Teef was mumbling to herself and fiddling with her PHS/cell phone combo (I know they look like cell phones in AC… so lets just say they combined them or something, or just made the PHS' look like cell phones), I think she was waiting for Cloud but having a hard time doing so. HA! Look who's the patient one now!
Finally Cloud appeared in his usual black attire drools and had his AWESOME shades on (he bought more… I love his sunglasses!). "Are we ready to go?" He asked Tifa.
Tifa looked up and nodded. "Yes, let's go."
So we walked blah blah blah when ALL OF A SUDDEN, we passed by one of Teef's favorite stores… and she squee'd so loud I swear I heard windows shatter. "OH MY GAWD THERE IS A SALE! A SALE! IT'S HALF OFF EVERYTHING!" Her eyes were sparkling… scary.
'Damn! She'll stay there forever! I can't stand waiting four hours for her to shop!' I nearly wanted to cry. Well, NEARLY. I'm a NINJA! Ninjas don't cry- or at least in public…
I looked towards Cloud and I saw the grimace on his face. 'So that makes both of us!' I decided to do something. I walked over to Tifa and gently shook her shoulder. "Oi, Tifa! Can we go…? Please? You can keep doing your shopping while we uh… do something else?"
She looked at me, a little sad. "Aww, but Yuffie! There are so many cute things here you could wear! And it's all HALF OFF!" Again with the sparkling eyes! The hell?
"We'll do something for ya since we don't exactly want to wait for you. No offense, but come on Teef, we've been shopping for like FOUR FREAKING HOURS already! I don't think Spiky wants to wait much longer either."
At the mention of Cloud she sighed. "Okay, okay. You guys go ahead- BUT would you mind making dinner and some cookies? And closing up the bar? I think I'm going to plan a party for a reunion of everyone in AVALANCHE."
At the word 'party' all of the Yuffie Chibis (explanation given later… who doesn't have a mini image of themselves in mind? Crickets chirp …) gasped and cheered. "I'll do it!" I stuck one fist up into the air when I said that- "OH YEAH!" and then looked at Cloud. "What say you Sir Spikehead?"
Cloud blinked- I know he did because he scratched the back of his head, like he normally does whenever he feels a little hesitan- or confused- and said in his oh so sexy voice, "Sure."
'W00T!' I grinned and waved. "See ya Teef!" Then I grabbed Cloud's arm and pulled him away, ignoring everyone say "YUFFIE!" and then I stopped after a minute and turned to Cloud. "Umm… where did you park your Fenrir?" I was such in a hurry to be away from Tifa (no offense or is it?) so that I could spend my own time with Cloud when I forgot where his damn motorbike was.
And to further embarrass me he LAUGHED! Laughed at me I say! I pouted and felt a whole bunch of heat pour into my cheeks. 'Damn it.' "Don't laugh at me!" I told him, crossing my arms.
He smiled a bit. "I won't. It's this way." Then he proceeded to show me where it was…
Which Brings Us Back To Me!
Well anyway, I am here with my precious Squishy. And he shall be my Squishy. Oops, wrong name. He is my precious Spiky, and he will be mine. And he will be my Spiky. MWAHAHAHA- "OW!"
"Sorry about that," he told me over his shoulder apologetically. 'OW!' I put one hand over my nose.
"GODDAMNIT Cloud! That hurt!" I moaned (pathetically, might I add). 'IT BURNS!' I rubbed my sore nose and made sure it wasn't broken, which it wasn't- which was good. "The hell did you stop so suddenly for?" I asked him.
He pointed to a goose that was waddling across the street. 'Awww… that's so SWEET! But I didn't know there were geese in Edge… weird.' My anger faded quickly; he was so cute with that apologetic look on his face. :3
I smiled at him- suddenly my nose didn't hurt so much. "Aww, its okay Spiky, I forgive ya. You know, that was really nice of you…" I was acutely aware that he was staring at me through all of this and I felt my face heat up a little. "Umm… Try to warn me before you do that again, okay?"
He nodded and smiled a little sheepishly, before saying "sorry" again and turned around. We started to go again and I sighed. 'Hopefully he won't add that to his big old guilt list he has around- I KNOW he has one- because it wasn't a big deal. My nose doesn't hurt as much anymore, yesh!'
The rest of the time flew by pretty quickly- with us both staying in comfortable silence. We didn't really say anything more, and yes, gasp now, for I hadn't said ANYTHING since the cat incident! I can be quiet when I want to be, you know. And I think Cloud welcomed the absence of my words because everything else was pretty loud and I was just adding to it so… I stopped talking. …Wipe that look off your face, now, I demand it! I'm a nice girl, aren't I?
We pulled up right outside Tifa's new bar- Final Heaven or something like that- I forgot what Teef named it, and if she REALLY named it after her move I think that's a little self-centered, don't you? I don't really go around naming things 'All Creation', but whatever. XD At least Final Heaven sounds sorta cool.
Cloud got off his bike after he took out the keys and stuff. I lightly stepped off and smiled at him like I always do- and took his hand, hesitating a little I did so. Okay, maybe so I seemed like a freaking pre-schooler, but I happen to like holding hands. One of my little secrets… Guess it's not so secret anymore though. A lot of people know girls like to hold the hands of their crush/love interest! Or at least some people do. Oh shut up. Cloud's hand is VERY nice and warm.
When he didn't pull away, I smiled a little wider. "Come on, Cloud, let's go do what Tifa told us to do! Or else she'll kick our butts- not that she can kick our butts though. We're awesome! I've always wanted to try a team attack against her. We should do that sometime!" I pushed open the door and was greeted by the sight of Teef's slightly homey-looking bar, and waltzed (not really) in.
(Switching to Normal POV)
"Spyoo, my friends! Your number one Ninja is back, along with AVALANCHE's REAL leader Cloud!" Yuffie projected. Everyone stared at her a bit, while Cloud was silent, but secretly laughing on the inside. If Barret heard that he would probably blow up. (… 'Cause all of the blood would rush to his head and he's getting angry and let's just say Marshmallow man blows up from all the 'heat' XD)
Yuffie obviously expected a greeting back, but got none. 'How rude! They could at least say something! …' She remembered the incident back at the Gold Saucer and then thought again. 'Never mind that comment… But they could at least say hello!' Finally she sighed and then let go of Cloud's hand and sat at the bar counter on one of the swivel stools. 'Man I LOVE these things! Not as much as I love Cloudy though.'
She didn't see the flicker of unrest pass through Cloud's eyes, as he was actually… dare he think it, 'comfortable' holding Yuffie's hand. It had also felt… right. Like it belonged there- but that was ridiculous, right? But it DID feel nice… 'What am I thinking? This is Yuffie…!' (DENIAL:3)
Yuffie told the waitresses that Tifa said for the bar to close early, and they did their stuff, and despite the protests of the bar's customers, kicked them out. Yuffie was impressed- 'hardcore! But I still think they're robots…'
Soon the girls left and Yuffie was spinning on the bar stool. It was lots of fun- but soon she got that too-familiar feeling of nausea and she stopped immediately, but hit her head on the counter too hard. All the chibis had flown somewhere in the recesses of her mind- probably to toss their cookies, what she felt like doing- 'but I LOVE my cookies… we're going to bake some!' She rubbed her forehead and then was aware that Cloud was staring at her again. 'What's with him and staring?' His gaze read that he either wanted to laugh at her… or he was concerned for her. She raised a hand and mumbled dizzily, "I'm okay… just gotta gather my little chibi sides…" (If you haven't figured it out then the chibis are all representing something or a side of Yuffie. Like different emotions, but there is a lot of them and they're all different.)
Cloud raised an eyebrow, though he was already used to that. "Anyway… are you sure you're okay?" He was concerned about her physical and especially her mental health. Sometimes she made him wonder…
All of the Chibis came back except for the timid/shy side- she accidentally locked herself in Yuffie's mind closet filled with the perverted magazines of Yuffie's naughty side. 'This will not go over well… I think I need some mental help. I see little people!'
All of a sudden Cloud appeared very close to her. Yuffie jumped back and accidentally burst out saying, "LITTLE PERSON!" And then she clamped her hands over her mouth. 'Aw dammit.'
Cloud was now convinced that a few screws had been knocked loose in that odd brain of hers. He was tempted to ask if she was really okay but decided to say this: "I know I'm not that tall compared to other men you know, but you're even smaller than me. So that would make you a toddler." For added effect, he ruffled her hair and laughed on the inside as Yuffie bristled.
"I'm not THAT little- you're just bigger than me and my head hurts and-" then she blinked, like a deer caught in the headlights. 'Oh my gawd… did Cloud just do what I think he did?' "OMG Cloud, did you just make a joke- or at least something like one! WOW I gotta write that down before I forget!"
He shook his spiky blonde head as Yuffie scribbled it down after finding some paper and a random pencil. 'I should put this in my book as proof that Cloud finally remembered how to joke! He must've gotten it from me. ;3 I am SUCH a good influence.'
After she was finished she stuck the piece of paper in her pocket (:3) and they walked into the kitchen. Yuffie stared at the pots and pans hanging from the ceiling and shivered. "Leviathan, how can Teef hang those up there! It's a hazard. They could fall on you and give you a concussion!" (That's what I think too… o.o never trust those hanging kitchen utensils!)
Cloud shook his head and said, "You're just paranoid Yuffie."
She pouted. "I am not. Just don't go cryin' to me when you've got a lump the size of Tifa's boobs on your precious noggin from falling kitchenware!" She paused after a few seconds. "But maybe if you're lucky, I'll kiss it better." To add effect she gave a mischievous smile and blew him a kiss before opening the cabinet to look for some ingredients for the cookies. She gave herself a mental slap. 'I sounded retarded! Oh well. If he DOES get a bump I would still kiss it better.' "Now… where is the sugar?"
Meanwhile, Cloud was scratching the back of his head. A tinge of red threatening to give him away, he couldn't help but wonder if she was actually being serious. Then came the ridiculous thought of what it would be like to be kissed by Yuffie. But then he berated himself because he already KNEW… wait… 'That was on the cheek. …Why am I even thinking about this!' (Cloud is SO blushing right now ;3 XD)
Yuffie saw it was up on a higher shelf and then stretched her arm forth, but still wasn't able to reach it. A black gloved hand reached up and got it for her. A large sweat drop appeared on the back of her head and she flushed a little. "Thanks Cloudy!" He handed it to her, apparently over with his little bout of confusion.
"You're welcome," he told her. Then he asked, "What else do we need?"
She racked her memory and then let out a loud "AHA!" and speedily grabbed some eggs, sugar, brown sugar (for added sweetness), chocolate chips, baking powder, and other stuff and set it on the counter. She reached for the flour on a high shelf and grabbed a corner, but soon realized that wasn't a smart idea and it toppled over and dragged her arm down with it (it was a BIG sack of flour) and she accidentally let go of it.
Cloud tried to grab it but he missed and then it landed on the ground with a loud "BOOM" sort of noise and a gigantic flour cloud formed from the ruined bag.
Yuffie coughed several times and waited for the cloud to subside, and in the mean time looked around the now frosted white kitchen. Flour lay in sometimes inches thick in the spots nearest to them, and she nearly swore- "SHIT!" okay now she swore. "DAMN Cloudy! Teef is gonna kill us!" She wailed, and turned to Cloud. Before you know it, she was on her ass laughing it off or pretty close to it. She pointed at him and tears were running down her cheeks, leaving trails of now-exposed skin. "OMFG Cloud, you look like a GHOST! Or a SNOW ANGEL! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Indeed he did. It completely covered up all the golden blonde spikes and he now looked very pale, and his clothing was completely white, except for a smudge on his butt that Yuffie had yet to notice.
He swore under his breath. "It's not funny Yuffie…" But she started to laugh even more, and the more he tried the more she laughed and finally he sat on the counter and mumbled, "I give up."
She finally calmed herself after a few minutes and sat on the counter next to the pouting Cloud. "Awww! It's okay! If it makes you feel any better, you make quite the cute ghost." She grinned, a hint of a blush threatening to give her away.
He smiled a tiny bit- to which this Yuffie swooned- before saying, "We'd better clean this up…" And got off the counter, Yuffie following, but landing ungracefully due to all the flour and hit the counter pretty hard with one foot. The pots and pans clattered and shook and one that had been hanging on just barely…
…Fell and landed with a loud "BLAM" on Cloud's head. A resounding echo tang reverberated around the room for a few seconds as the two stood there.
Yuffie's eyes widened to the size of chocobo eggs (and DAMN those are big XD jk) and Cloud blinked a few times in a daze, before starting to fall. Yuffie shrieked out a "SPIKY!" and managed to grab his arm before he fell on her unconscious. Yuffie didn't expect his weight and fell onto the ground with Cloud on top, making her feel very flustered and a bit ashamed.
'DAMN! Gawd, poor Cloud is friggen unconscious! And it's my entire fault! But part of it is Teef's… if only she hadn't hung those there. I KNEW THEY WERE DANGEROUS! If my Cloud gets amnesia or a concussion I'm gonna kill myself! And GAWD! He's so heavy! Must be all those yummy muscles he's got.' At that thought Yuffie wanted to drool, but wouldn't dare do so on him.
'Okay… How am I gonna get him off me?' She wondered. If it had been any other time she'd probably be ecstatic but not right now- Cloud was going to have a hell of a headache when he woke up and she didn't want him to get angry at her- 'even if it was mostly my fault!'
She slowly pulled herself out from underneath him, and after a few minutes grabbed his arm and set it over her shoulders. She also encircled one arm around his waist as best as she could, and blushed as Cloud's head was resting on her back. 'I've never done this before. He'd better thank me for dragging his sexy ass later!'
A couple of heaves and swearing later, they made it to the hall. But once Yuffie realized Cloud's room was up the stairs… "AH FUCKING HELL!" She nearly wanted to cry, but didn't. "I'll show the effing stairs I'm so much stronger than they are!' And so began the long stairs episode.
She nearly fell down the stairs many times with several, VERY close calls. Most of them being her almost falling backward OR falling on the stairs and trying to crawl up with Cloud on her back.
When she got to the top she kissed the ground several times and cried, "THANK YOU LEVIATHAN!" And then turned to the stairs and shook her free fist at it. "AHA! Take that you dirty bastard! You and the ladders will NEVER defeat the Great Ninja Yuffie!"
(I wonder why Cloud hasn't woken up from all that noise… XD)
And now she went into Cloud's room and gently set him down (or as gently as she could), with his upper body resting against the bed. She looked at their clothes and winced. 'Okay, I should probably get him some clothes to wear… I hope he doesn't mind me going through his drawers. It's NOT like I'll find a dairy in them or something! I swear Twinkletoes has one but he would never let me read it saying 'it's a journal' because it supposedly sounds more MANLY, but it sounds fruity if you ask me. But we'll still love him!'
'Okay, getting off topic. Clothes. Cloudy's clothes. Does he have a closet? A closet of dark sec- GAH I need to stop doing that!' She peered around the room and opened a door, finding it led to a bathroom. 'OMG! I have to know what kind of shampoo he uses to make his hair smell so good… AFTER we get clothes,' she reminded herself.
She found his regular outfit in a drawer and squee'd. 'OMG he DOES have copies of these! They're so freaking awesome!' She took one out and then set it on the bed next to Cloud, and blushingly grabbed a pair of boxers with her eyes closed. She warily opened one and nearly DIED of laughter. 'HOLY CHOCOBO BOXERS!' They were SO cute and had mini chocobos on it. 'Oh MY I MUST know where he got these! They're adorable!' She laughed and then stifled it when she heard him starting to awaken. 'So soon? He looked so hot when he was asleep… Not that he wasn't when he was awake!' She quickly hid the boxers between the folds of his clothing and waited for him to wake up.
Cloud groaned, 'damn my head hurts…!' It turned out that Yuffie was right after all. Speaking of Yuffie, she was right in front of him. 'Wait, why am I in my room?' He thought when he saw the familiar blue painted walls of his room.
Yuffie gave him a hug. "OMG Spiky are you okay! You know I TOLD you those metal things are dangerous! I'm sorry for making it fall on you though… But still! I dragged your sorry ass up here and I hope you're grateful, 'cause your muscles are HEAVY!" She pulled back and then jumped to her feet. "But you know, since I'm such a GREAT ninja I managed to bring you out of the kitchen and up the stairs all by myself! No easy feat I add, but not too much for me!" She gave him a peace sign and grinned.
He smiled a little but then frowned. He saw the clothes and then he nearly let out a scream. "Yuffie… you went through my DRAWERS?"
She jumped back a foot and held up her hands. "Oi, oi, oi! I was just helping, and your clothes are pretty much frosting by now so I thought you needed it! And before you ask, I didn't see ANYTHING! Honest!"
'Right…' Was the thought going through Cloud's mind. He sighed and then stood up, trying to ignore the throbbing pain on his spiky-haired head. 'I really need to talk to Tifa about those damn pots and pans…' He grabbed the clothes and murmured, "I'm going to take a shower. And thanks…"
Yuffie grinned- 'he THANKED ME! OMFG!' and nodded. "I'll go start cleaning up I guess… And you're welcome!" She turned to walk away while Cloud headed towards the bathroom and closed the door behind him. She stood at the doorway to the hall and snickered. "Chocobo boxers would look VERY cute on you Cloud…"
"…WHAT!" A restrained slightly un-manlyish scream came from Cloud's room and Yuffie paled but giggled.
"JUST KIDDING!" She swore she heard the door was being opened and quickly lied. "I saw some at the mall! I thought they would look cute on you! GAWD! Overreact, why don't ya!"
She walked out and thought she heard some swearing but ignored it. "I love you too Cloud, love you too!" She grinned and then hummed a cheerful tune as she walked out to the kitchen. 'Damn, we are in so much trouble for this… but it was worth Cloud thanking me, and getting to see those boxers. ...I wonder how much it's worth on Ebay?' XD
End of Chapter Four
Rei: FINALLY DONE! I hope I don't end up not updating for so long again. If I do I give you ALL permission to nag at me until I do. XD I hope you like it! I love hearing from you guys. :333