Manjyome stared at the words. Fingers shaking, he forced himself to fold the letter back into a small rectangle. He pulled open the bedside drawer next to him and laid the letter in the corner of the compartment before slamming it shut. He sat, thinking. Then he pulled open the drawer again and, grabbing a heavy textbook from under his bed, piled it on top of the letter. He closed it tight.

It was dawn when Manjyome finally fell asleep.

"…and that's the last time we saw him-su! Aniki followed Manjyome-kun to the astronomy tower but he came back by himself and wouldn't tell me anything. He just gave me a really scary glare and didn't say another word for the rest of the night," Shou concluded with a sigh. "That's the entire story. Do you think he might have something to do with Aniki's disappearance?"

"Hmm. It's always possible. But we shouldn't point fingers at anybody until Juudai's safe. What we should do first is find Juudai," Asuka said.

"I'm worried about him." Kenzan looked up, his face anxious. "I would have never left last night if it meant Aniki wouldn't return-saurus!"

"It's not your fault," Misawa replied calmly to the fretting first-year. He glanced at the clock before looking back at Shou, Asuka, and Kenzan. "Listen. All we have left for the day is duel theory and then gym. We'll ask Ayukawa-sensei to let us out earlier to search for Juudai."

"That sounds like a plan-su!" Shou encouraged. Asuka crossed her arms and nodded.

Kenzan pumped a fist into the air. "We'll split up and search, search, search until we can't search no more-saurus!" he roared with a determined glint in his eye.

"…get off the table, Kenzan-kun."

"Meh."

"You're scaring people with your face."

"WHAT? I'll show you scary, da' don!"

Misawa watched Kenzan and Shou's bickering with indifference. He leaned over to Asuka, who still seemed to be in deep thought.

"There's no doubt in my mind that Juudai's at the astronomy tower," he muttered to her under his breath. He noticed the suspicious glare he was receiving from Asuka. "Trust me on this one. Juudai's at that tower and I have a bad feeling he's wounded. I understand you care about him as much as I do, but you won't be able to carry him that far."

Asuka eyed him for a moment longer before nodding. "Fine. But there's another thing that worries me that I want you to check out on." Her voice grew lower so that Kenzan and Shou couldn't hear her. "It's about Manjyome-kun. He knows more than he's letting on."

A pause. "I'll deal with him too."

Whether he drifted into unconsciousness from the pain, the stress, or perhaps the rejection and indignity, Juudai didn't know. What he did know was that the blackness in the sky had long since disappeared when his eyes were open again. He was still at the astronomy tower. Juudai never left, never moved so much as a finger after last night.

He came to one conclusion there and then: being conscious was painful.

Sleep's soft embrace was peaceful and wrapped him in a blanket of safety. Juudai could pretend nothing happened last night and drift away from his troubles without having to look back. But as the last strings of slumber drifted away from his mind, a torrent of images came rushing towards him. Their lips almost touching each other, Manjyome's livid expression, flashes of pain, bursts of white, an unwanted declaration…

Groggy, Juudai pushed himself up from the cold floor and rubbed his head. He had a pounding headache and every part of his body was either aching or bruised; he could feel one throbbing on his cheek. His stomach hurt and he felt like throwing up. Juudai tried to rise from the floor, only to drop to the ground again.

Manjyome.

His name flashed in his mind over and over again.

Manjyome.

Manjyome.

Manjyome.

The sun's rays entered the rectangular slot on the ceiling and shone onto his back. The heat made him realize that it wasn't just morning—it had to be late in the afternoon. How long had he slept?

Suddenly, footsteps came from behind him and the door creaked open. Juudai quickly looked up. Was Manjyome back? To his surprise, relief, and, perhaps, disappointment, it wasn't Manjyome but instead somebody else he hadn't expected seeing: Misawa.

"I thought I'd find you here."

I was right all along, Misawa thought to himself. Juudai stayed at the astronomy tower all night.

Juudai refused to hold his gaze and looked down instead, brushing a hand across his eyes to get rid of the wetness clinging onto his eyelashes. "…hi."

Misawa kneeled down next to him and examined his condition. It was obvious that Juudai had been heavily beaten. There were purple and green bruises already forming around the visible areas of his skin. Yet at the same time, he saw evidence of neither cuts nor bloodshed.

"Are you alright?"

"Mm-hmm."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Realizing that the brown-eyed boy had no intention of moving from this spot, Misawa sat down next to him. He hugged his arms around his legs.

"Kenzan and Shou are worried about their Aniki who didn't return to his room last night and who didn't attend class this morning. Kenzan promised to never visit Kabayama again if it meant skipping dinner and having their Aniki be absent the next day. He thinks it's his fault their Aniki ran away."

His voice was gentle and didn't hold any sense of pressure or blame, but the way he repeated 'Aniki' made Juudai feel guilty all the same. It never occurred to him just how much his friends worried over his wellbeing until now. From the sound of it, his best friends were agonizing out of their minds because of his foolish blunder.

"I didn't want to see somebody today," he whispered.

"…what's that on your cheek?"

Juudai gasped. He quickly turned his head away, but Misawa placed a hand on his face and gently rotated his head towards him again. There was a large greenish-purple bruise on his cheek.

"Who did this to you?" he asked quietly, slipping his hand off the brunette's face. Juudai seemed to sense his uneasiness and shook his head frantically. Misawa's eyes narrowed. "…did Manjyome do this to you?" he asked again, this time his voice laced with a hint of silent threat.

"It wasn't his fault!" Juudai urged earnestly. "I took it too far last night and it scared him. I…I tried to kiss him. Then I told him…I…I…"

His name flashed in his head again. Manjyome.

"…I loved him."

The word 'love' seemed to linger in the atmosphere longer than the actual sentence did itself. Silence echoed between the two. Then suddenly, it was as if something snapped because Juudai exploded from his reserved state into choked sobs.

"I don't understand, Misawa! What's happening to me? What am I doing? Why did I go as far as to tell Manjyome I love him? He hates me now, I just know of it…" He clamped his hands onto each side of his head and shut his eyes tightly, as if drowning out all sound and sight would help ease the pain. "I…remember that duel he had with Houzan-kun last week…and…I hugged him after he won that game. I don't know what happened, I just lost all control and…and…"

"I know," Misawa replied simply.

Juudai swallowed a hard lump in his throat and dropped his arms into his lap. He sighed, his shoulders heaving along with him. The gray-haired boy remained eerily silent, as if he were mulling over some things. Finally, he opened his mouth.

"I could help. I'm not terribly good with romance, but I could change Manjyome's mind about you. I just need to know how much you love him."

"So much…" Juudai whispered. "I would do anything to make him mine. But how could you possibly make Manjyome love me?"

He smiled cryptically. "I have my ways."

"Would you really?" he exclaimed. He jumped up in excitement, ignoring the screams of his aching joints. Gratitude rushed to Juudai's eyes. "Oh, gee, thanks, Misawa! You're a great friend."

"You should have Ayukawa-sensei give you an icepack," Misawa replied. "I would go with you but I have other things to do."

Juudai flashed him a shaky grin. "Alright, then…classes are already over for the day, right? I suppose I'll see you after dinner? Or maybe tomorrow morning?"

In other words, Juudai was asking him how quickly he could talk to Manjyome and get everything sorted out. But Juudai himself wasn't even aware he was asking that—it was his conscience speaking.

Misawa smiled. "We'll see."

Manjyome blew off a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his face. Class was over. The losers were somewhere else. He had absolutely nothing to do, so he had returned to his room and performed one of his most reclusive pastimes: reading. He licked his thumb and turned the corner of the page to reveal a fresh new passage in the book. It was oddly quiet in his room...perhaps too quiet. He hadn't been used to overwhelming silence since last night. Silence made his head spin because without anything to divert his thoughts, that same scene under the midnight sky replayed in his mind like a broken tape that wouldn't stop running.

Juudai's broken smile lingered fresh in his mind.

"I…I love you Manjyome."

Love? Juudai loved him? Had that idiot gone horrifically out of his MIND?

Then the image of Juudai was replaced by Asuka's face.

"My love? My love is dueling and nothing more. I'm sorry that you have feelings for me, but I can't return something I never had in the first place. But you know, Manjyome-kun…I like having you around. Stay by my side for the time being, alright?"

Asuka was a beauty beyond words and any man who caught a glimpse of her face would swoon on the spot. But it wasn't just her looks that made her attractive to him. Her confidence and constantly cool composure made him stare in awe. She never seemed to be ruffled by any situation. Manjyome just wasn't used to that; he had lived a life of clutter and chaos with his emotions always plunging up and crashing down like some demented roller coaster ride...and to see somebody else handle their troubles so calmly made him wonder exactly what sort of omnipotent goddess was she.

Manjyome would stay by Asuka's side, and nothing would stop him from loving her. Not even Juudai.

"Why does he have to do this to me…? Doesn't he see I only love Tenjoin-kun?"

What Juudai had done still befuddled him. It angered him. It scared him. The raven-haired boy shook his head to get rid of those thoughts. Where were his Ojamas to distract him from the numbness Juudai left? He glanced around and saw nobody in sight. He frowned. Something was wrong. Not that Manjyome actually complained about the lack of company, but it seemed unusual that his Ojamas hadn't popped out of his deck today. It had been a tradition for yellow, green, and black to float out of the card holder no matter how tightly he sealed it. Yet today, they seemed…missing. Manjyome abandoned his book and dug into the bed stand drawer for his cards. He laid the deck in the palm of his hand and tapped it with his forefinger.

"Hey. Come out, you bozos," he ordered.

There was no response. He tapped his deck again. Still no response. He let out an irritated sigh and tossed his cards on the mattress, ready to shout at them had it not been for another voice intruding on his seclusion.

"You know, talking to yourself is a sign of insanity."

Manjyome stiffened. He had forgotten to lock the door. He didn't even need to turn around to recognize that voice and know that Misawa Daichi was standing in the doorframe.

"Hello, Manjyome," he greeted, his tone lacking its usual friendliness.

Manjyome avoided looking at him and climbed back onto his bed. He opened the book, flicking through the pages in casual interest. "Take off your shoes," he ordered in a careless yet demanding tone. "I don't want any mud on the carpet."

He expected Misawa to comply and slip off his shoes without any protest. However, the Ra student continued to stand straight, his bitter facial expression never wavering for an instant. "I'm afraid I don't have to listen to you, Manjyome. Better yet, it's you who should listen to me."

His mental barriers immediately shot up. Manjyome no longer pretended to be absorbed in his book and calmly placed the reading material on the mattress. He rose to meet Misawa's challenge. "…what do you want?" he said softly.

"I need to talk to you."

Manjyome narrowed his eyes. "About?"

He took a step forward, draping an arm across his midriff and issuing a mocking bow. Misawa rose up from his bow and set his knuckles in his hip, his other arm outstretched as if requesting Manjyome to take his hand. "I'll be blunt. Juudai wants your body, so he's asked me to act as a sort of cupid for him." He paused, tilting his head to the side. "Come along, now. We shouldn't disappoint him."

At these words, Manjyome's eyes narrowed further. So this was Juudai's doing. It didn't bother him that he had asked Misawa to interfere, but moreover another reason a hundred times worse.

He just wants me for my body.

Manjyome shut his eyes.

So this was just a game all along. He doesn't really love me. He doesn't even care about me. It was lust controlling his actions when he tried to kiss me. All those words he said before…at the tower…this stupid letter he wrote me…

Where had the letter gone to?

…it was all…it was all just a lie. He deserved every punch and kick I gave him. How could I have believed him for a second?

His eyes snapped open, but this time it they didn't hold any uncertainty or doubt. They were cold and hardened in a way so that the color resembled rock. "Leave now, or you'll leave later with all your bones broken," Manjyome snarled, his voice laced with a threat he wasn't afraid to carry out. "And tell that scumbag I'll see to it personally that he'll walk in a limp for the rest of his life."

Misawa smirked. In a blink of the eye, he had shoved Manjyome onto the mattress, pushed against the wall in an awkward and humiliating pose. Misawa's hands pressed against the other boy's inner thighs and pulled his slender legs apart. Manjyome thrashed around violently, but Misawa only responded by licking his lips before diving in and capturing him in a bruising kiss. He thrust his tongue into his victim's mouth, exploring at his will.

Manjyome made a desperate attempt to bite him, forcing Misawa to retaliate by digging sharp nails into his crotch and squeezing it. He yelped in surprise, opening his mouth even wider for Misawa. After a minute of this torture, his assailant finally broke off the kiss, leaving Manjyome in a state of shock and pain.

"Now. What was that you were saying about breaking my bones?"

This brought him back to his senses. Manjyome stared at him in disgust and attempted to lash out at his face, but Misawa caught his fist in time. Thinking quickly, Misawa tore off a piece of the white linen sheet they were sitting on and fastened the other boy's wrist to the bedpost with a tight knot. Manjyome immediately lost his defiant nature. He stared at his bound wrist before looking at his captor in horror. It was then that the full impact of the situation hit him.

He wasn't going to get out of this room unscathed.

Misawa took this opportunity to grasp his other wrist and secure it to the same bedpost. Manjyome was now completely defenseless and vulnerable to any attacks he felt like issuing.

"It's always fists over philosophies with your types," he said in a disapproving manner. He paused, and his smirk widened. "But…I admit, you're quite attractive when you try to resist me. I'll have fun breaking you," he sneered silkily, tracing a finger around Manjyome's jawline. "I can see why Juudai took an interest in you."

Misawa began fiddling with the buckle on his belt. Manjyome was staring at him with an expression that looked completely foreign—fear. This was just what Misawa had wanted.

My domination over you will be sweet, Manjyome.

"Love hurts, doesn't it?"

Juudai rubbed his arm gingerly. The bruise still stung rather badly though the overall pain had died down. Asuka, Shou, and Kenzan had all been nice and Ayukawa-sensei had given him an icepack to hold—but in the end, he decided to return to his room. He promised his friends he'd be alright and that he'd visit them once he settled down and…well…sorted out his feelings. Hopefully, Misawa was good at talking and Manjyome was willing to listen. Juudai trotted up the steps and stopped just outside the door to his room. He blinked. It was ajar. He pushed the door open and peeked in.

"Who's there?" Someone familiar caught his eye. "Misawa, what i—?"

Juudai stopped at the sight before him.

Misawa was sitting coolly on a chair with his legs propped up on the desk. He was clutching what looked like a metal chain in his hand. Juudai's gaze trailed down the path of the chain until it ended at a leather collar fastened around the base of the neck, cutting into pale white skin. Manjyome's skin.

Manjyome was kneeling on the ground in a state of submission Juudai had never seen him in before. He refused to look at the brunette and, instead, had his eyes fastened on the carpet out of humiliation. His arms were bound behind his back and he was gagged from talking by a thin strip of cloth.

"Cheers, Juudai," Misawa smiled, flicking a hand in casual greeting.

Juudai couldn't understand why he was being so calm. Manjyome was kneeling on the floor, bound and gagged and being treated like a slave…and all Misawa could do was smile and wave at him? Was this his idea of some twisted joke?

"Misawa…what did you…what did you do to him?" he whispered.

"I only broke him so that he would be more convenient for you to use," he explained, waving his hand. "If you wanted unused goods, you should have specified—though he's probably already been used, anyway. But don't worry, he's still good! See!"

He ignored Juudai's pleas and turned his attention to his bound captive instead. Misawa kneeled down and cupped Manjyome's chin with his hand. He gazed at the black-haired boy, who, in return, shot him the nastiest look he could muster. Had it not being for the cloth wrapped around his head, Manjyome would surely have spat in his face. Misawa found this rebellious behavior amusing. He yanked at the leash hard, watching in amusement as Manjyome jerked his head back and yelped in pain before shuddering when a cold hand rested on his inner thigh. Black pupils widened. Pictures of what had happened mere hours ago flashed in his head…

"Stop that!"

Misawa looked up with a sharp glare.

Juudai had changed from being timid and hesitant to icy and threatening within a matter of seconds. He took a menacing step forward, his fists clenched tightly as his sides and eyes blazed with fury Misawa hadn't seen since their last duel. For a moment, Misawa looked as if he was about to tell the brunette to shove it. But the moment came and went, and Misawa complied and backed away from Manjyome, though looking a bit miffed.

"…of course." He forced a polite smile onto his face. "I stepped out of line. He's your toy, after all."

Juudai started. He lost his steely look and blinked, that same old boyish confusion appearing in his eyes again. He shook his head rapidly and waved his hands in front of him. "No, no! It's not like that—I didn't—I never wanted…"

Misawa continued to smile, though this time it was more of a smirk than anything else. "I think it's time for me to take my leave."

He tossed the leash to Juudai, who barely caught it out of surprise, and turned around to leave the room. The thump of the door closing reverberated through the room.

Silence.

He wasn't used to silence.

Juudai sank to his knees. He couldn't think, he could barely breathe. What happened? He was desperate to have that question answered. Maybe if he heard the full details of the situation, he could forget the thought of Misawa being disturbingly evil and doing immoral things to Manjyome. His heart overrode everything else and he did the first logical thing that came to mind—untie Manjyome. But, shockingly enough, it was a harder task than imagined. His hands were numb and his fingers were frozen. He covered his head with his arms.

"Manjyome, I didn't—I'm sorry—I swear I didn't ask for this, I really didn't, I didn't…"

He continued to babble incoherently until he heard an annoyed grunt from the boy in front of him. Manjyome merely glared at Juudai until the other boy slid the cloth off.

"…you're a sick bastard," were the first words that came out. Manjyome spat it out like poison, his voice dripping with malice. "A sick, twisted bastard."

It was then that hope soared in Juudai's heart. Manjyome was alright.

There was no doubt Manjyome was angry at him, but Juudai could deal with that. He could deal with being punched and kicked again, he could deal with cruel words, and he could even deal with his heart being broken in two as long as it meant that Manjyome was fine—and he looked perfectly fine. Despite being a bit disheveled, Manjyome was still healthy. There were no bruises, no broken bones, and it didn't look like he was bleeding anywhere. Best of all, he still had that fiery, petulant look in his eyes that never once showed signs of weakness or submission.

Manjyome Thunder was alright. Manjyome Thunder never gave up.

The onyx-eyed boy struggled to stand up only to fall down again from what seemed to be a lack of strength. Nonetheless, he continued to glare at Juudai with eyes that held endless depths of pure hatred. Juudai didn't care. Manjyome had always hated him so why was it different this time?

"M-Manjyome…" He broke into a relieved smile.

"What the fuck are you smiling for?" Manjyome snarled.

The harsh curse words bounced off of him. Juudai was still shrouded in that veil of utter relief that Manjyome was fine. Nothing bad had happened and that's all that mattered right now.

"Nothing…I'm just…I'm just glad you're alright." Juudai widened his friendly smile a bit. He reached out to pull the collar off.

That was when Manjyome bit his hand.

Juudai winced as teeth sunk into flesh. He immediately withdrew, staring in confusion as beads of shining crimson leaked out of the cut. He looked up at Manjyome, hurt.

"I'M NOT ALRIGHT, YOU FUCKING SENSELESS TWIT."

"Manjyome…"

"I can't believe I chased after you, that at one time I respected you as a rival. I never thought you would sink this low to hurt your opponents in such a way. Your preaching on friendship and having fun—here's what I think of it now!"

Manjyome spat in his face. Juudai winced again and gingerly wiped off the gob of saliva from his face.

"Manjyome…what are you trying to say?" he whispered.

"Don't fucking play with me." His breathing became hard and ragged; his chest rose and deflated at a rapid pace. "You know very well what he did to me."

Suspicions crept up and Juudai found his relief dissolving like smoke into air. "…look, I understand you're angry—"

"Angry? You think that's all I am? I'll kill you—!"

"But he said—"

Apparently, those were the wrong words to say because Manjyome exploded.

"—he said? He SAID? You're going to believe what happened based on what that bastard said? Then hear what I have to say! He raped me, that's what happened! He fucking raped me and he enjoyed every fucking moment of it! Now do you believe him over me?"

"He didn't…he couldn't have…"

But Juudai knew he could find no excuse for Misawa when tears trickled down pale cheeks. Wait, no, that was impossible! Manjyome didn't cry—he never cried. He was the most determined, strong-willed person Juudai knew, and behind that cold and arrogant façade was a passionate, indomitable soul that would never back down or give up no matter what the odds were.

Manjyome was crying.

It was then that Juudai knew something was wrong.

He swallowed and stroked Manjyome's cheek as if to make sure he was actually crying. He pulled back his hand. On his fingertips was a warm wetness. Manjyome was crying.

No.

No.

No.

Juudai stumbled back and shook his head repeatedly. The word kept coming out of his mouth over and over again. There was no stopping it; his brain stopped functioning. The unwavering resolve that he had always seen in Manjyome's eyes was dying like the flickering flames in a deserted fireplace.

"…I'm tired, Juudai…I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of trying my hardest and still end up being a loser. I'm tired of challenging you, challenging Misawa and Asuka and everybody else only to be pushed down and have my dignity stripped bare. I've been crushed below everybody's foot at least once, only to get up again because I thought if I tried enough times, I could win for once in my life."

Manjyome.

"But… I've realized now that the phoenix can only be reborn so many times. I've decided to stay in hell now…so fuck off…and let me rot in peace…"

White. All he could see was white. Juudai was in so much shock he could barely sit upright any longer; his vision was spinning and he felt faint. Was this a dream? The reality was just too much to handle. The reality was sickening and, and nauseating and utterly…real. It was impossible to deny that any of this was real. Juudai wanted to slap himself on the cheek to test his actual consciousness and then maybe close his eyes and count to ten to send him back to dreamland so hopefully he would wake up tomorrow and see Manjyome steal his shrimp off his breakfast plate in the way only Manjyome could…

But in the back of his mind that lone voice of truth spoke up. This was actually happening.

Those onyx eyes told it all—Manjyome was dying. Not physically, but emotionally… Tears welled up and Juudai jerked his head to the side; then he watched as the remaining particles of life drained away. Juudai couldn't say anything. He couldn't think about anything. All he could do was crawl forward and wrap his arms around the boy he loved and unwillingly hurt before breaking down into tears.

"I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry…"

He repeated that phrase over and over and over again until the crickets stopped chirping and it was late in the night and all Juudai could see outside was pitch black. Pitch black like his heart.

Even after hours of crying, nothing changed.