I keep trying to tell myself it's just a dream. Just a horrible nightmare… but none of my nightmares have ever been this bad.
They're all dead. Every last one of them. Even Giles. I always sort of figured Giles would be the one to make it if the rest of us didn't. Not to say he was a coward or anything, but he always seemed to think things over, never rush into anything. Know what I mean? But he died trying to save us all. Only it was in vain. I'm the only one left. And now it's up to me to try to stop this thing before it takes anyone else. I don't expect to be seen again alive. That's why I'm writing this. So the next Watcher and the next Slayer will know what happened. Well, they'll know what happened as I know it anyway. If that counts.
It started with a prophecy. Then again, doesn't it always? I might not have been hanging around for the earlier ones, but I know about the ones that came after… the ones that involved the people I cared about. They always scared me, but I tried not to let anyone know. I hope it didn't work too well. I hope they knew… never mind, that's not the point here.
The Slayer was supposed to go against her greatest foe and die. Ok, so what's new? None of us took it seriously. None of us really worried about it honestly. As far as end of the world prophecies go, this one was kind of boring really. Just another demon for the proper alignment of the stars. Buffy even cracked jokes about it. Of course Giles told her not to do such things, but really, the demon itself sounded so pathetic it was funny. Well, at the time anyway.
So, the demon came and we fought it. It fell just as quickly as we thought it would. Later that night we all went the Bronze. Well, not Giles of course. He had some more research to do I guess. We didn't know the demon was just a distraction. Didn't know that other things knew about the amusing little prophecy. Now I have to wonder if the prophecy really meant that demon, or if we just assumed it was the demon. Maybe it was right all along and we were the ones who didn't understand what was going on. Not that it would have been unusual… not knowing what was going on. Maybe that should have been our first clue. Maybe we should have known something was wrong when we had it all figured out and contained in a nice little package. I don't know.
When Cordy got sick, none of us really thought much about it. I mean we thought it was a really nasty case of the stomach flu, or maybe food poisoning. I don't know. I just know it didn't seem like anything big. It just seemed like something that would happen on top of the Hellmouth. Nothing to worry about it. But after only a few days, Cordy was dead. No one could explain how it happened. Her parents were falling apart. Giles tried to think of something to tell them, he figured it had to have been something supernatural, but he couldn't really come up with anything. We even wondered if perhaps the Kinderstod had some how come back and started attacking Buffy's friends to get revenge for what she had done to it. We didn't have a clue.
Xander wasn't taking it well. True, they hadn't been together anymore, but I think he might have still held out hope that they might get back together. I had to feel sorry for him, even if I hadn't really cared much for Cordy. True, for a while she hadn't been so bad, but after… well after The Kiss... she returned to true bitch form. I think all of us got tired of it. But I can understand why she was like that. It might have been me.
So Giles started research mode. Xander wasn't much help, Buffy just wanted to kill something, Angel was trying to keep Buffy from going insane, and all I could do was wonder what we missed. Ok, so maybe people think I'm not that observant, but sometimes I see things other people don't. This time though… this time I was at a loss just as much as everyone else.
We found nothing. Not a single thing. It's why we hadn't been prepared when it happened.
The library was quiet as always. All of us had our noses in books, even Angel. He was the first to notice something was wrong. I remember he looked up from his book and glanced around, shifting in his seat like it had suddenly become the most uncomfortable place to be. He looked at me, with this expression of distaste on his face, and asked if I felt anything. As soon as I opened my mouth to tell him no, I felt it too.
I can't explain it really… just a feeling that something was wrong, very, very wrong. About that time Buffy looked up too. Then the temperature of the room just dropped. I swear ice covered the windows in just a few seconds. We could see our breath and everyone began to shiver.
Giles rushed out of his office at almost the same time as the floor began to crack.
Suddenly it wasn't cold in the room anymore. It was hot. Hot as the depths of Hell to be exact.
We heard the screech before we could actually see anything. Not that we could see much. The room had filled with acrid smoke and the smell of sulfur was thick. My eyes were burning, and I got the feeling I had been cut off from the group. I moved forward and smacked a knee against the table. I can remember swearing and limping around the table. The next thing I remember is something slamming into me and knocking me across the room. I slid across the floor, scrambling to my knees as I went, and slammed into the wall of the book cage. The wire door slammed shut behind me and I was locked in. All I could do from there was watch with horror as my friends were killed, one by one. I'm not sure if that's what it wanted, or if it had been an accident.
The creature seemed to be familiar to Giles and Buffy, I think I remember seeing it once before when the Hellmouth had almost opened, but it's all kind of a blur right now. It had tentacles or something… something that could crush you. It crushed Xander about the time I turned around to watch the horror of it all. Buffy it ripped almost limb from limb. I'll never forget her screams. Angel and Giles rushed to try to save her, but they didn't stand a chance either. Giles was cut down almost immediately. I'm not sure what it did, but he just fell, and I knew he was dead. Angel gave it more of a problem. In fact that first… thing… couldn't kill him.
The second creature that came out seemed humanoid… it stood upright anyway. It grabbed a stake from one of the tables and killed Angel the old fashioned way. There was just one more person standing, but I couldn't watch. I screamed no just as her screams cut through the air. I closed my eyes just as the flash of magical energy hit the room. I'll never sleep again, if I live, without seeing it all over again. And the screams… I'll hear those even after I die.
The cage that had protected me also kept me from helping. It forced me to watch as they were all cut down. My protection had become my nightmare. I'm still not sure why they left me alone. Maybe it was the binding spell Willow cast just before it killed her. That's all I can think of.
Suddenly it was just silent. I stood there for what seemed like an eternity before I opened my eyes. When I did, I wished I hadn't. I wished I had died with the rest of them. The carnage was so horrible I threw up there. I think I passed out.
When I came to, I was still locked in the cage. At first I thought it had just been another full moon night or something. But then I could smell the blood. I managed to get to my feet by some miracle, and made my way to the weapons cabinet. I think I broke out of the book cage with an axe, but I can't remember really. I was too busy trying not to see them all… trying to pretend it wasn't real.
So, now here I am. I've buried them all… there's no one else to do it and I don't have time to explain to all their parents. Willow's spell won't last too much longer, and I either have to close the damn Hellmouth, or die trying. I think I'm gonna die.
I've got Buffy's cross. Not sure if it works on those kinds of demons, but it's worth a shot. And the book Giles had… I think he would have found it coming if we had just had a few more hours. It's in this book. It has no name, but it's here. I ate one of Xander's Ho-Ho's. I figured he'd want it that way. I took Angel's Claddagh ring… for the bond he shared with Buffy. The necklace Xander gave Cordy is with me as well. God, it seems like a million years ago. And from Willow... I take her love with me. And one more spell from one of her books. I'm not sure if any of these will protect me, or even if I want them to. They're all dead…
That's it. That's what happened. Now all that's left is me… and the things that bind me to my friends. So here I go. Wish me luck… or a quick death. Right now I don't know which one is best.
With Peace…
Oz