Hello! I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive! Sorry it took so long! Life really takes you away. Wow. Anyways, on with the story!

September 20, 1973

Dear Journal,

I woke up and ate breakfast. While eating I noticed Sirius walking in. He winked at me before sitting with his gang. Inwardly I smiled. So far our 'relationship' was going well. I have come to the conclusion that Sirius enjoys looking for me. I realized this on the 17th. I was studying in the tree again. Sirius had suddenly arrived out of breath.

"What?" I asked him.

"I was looking for you." Sirius said with a wide smile. He had been smiling more ever since I agreed to be his 'boyfriend'.

"Oh?" I said with an eyebrow raised. "Were we supposed to meet somewhere?"

"Not really, but I enjoy a challenge." Sirius said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. I noticed it and an idea came to mind.

The next day I went to the library to study. Sirius found me two hours later.

"I didn't mean 'play hide and seek', Lucius." Sirius said. He pouted like a child whose favorite toy was taken by a parent.

"I thought you liked challenges." I said smartly.

"True, but you had me worried."

"Worried? Why is my well being so important?" I asked.

Sirius slid his chair next to mine and leaned very close to me. I'm so glad I chose a table near the back of the library.

"Because I really like you, Lucius and I care about you. Don't do that again." Sirius said in a soft voice.

I sighed at the memory. Sirius is always surprising me. I didn't expect that sort of reaction from him. Today I decided to sit in the courtyard in plain view after classes. I didn't want to do my homework at the moment so I stared at the sky until Sirius sat next to me. Well, more like behind me. Our relationship isn't quite out in the open yet, so we still act a little hostile towards each other.

"How are you today?" He asked.

"Fine. It's a little colder today." I said, crossing my arms. Sirius wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I leaned against his warm chest. The courtyard was silent and peaceful. I was glad that there was nobody around to see us.

"I like this position." Sirius whispered in my ear. I shifted more into his embrace.

"I'm sure you do." I whispered back. I leaned my head back against his shoulder, exposing my neck.

He took the bait and leaned closer to my neck. His warm breath felt nice as he gently kissed my neck. I sighed in content. Despite how much I don't trust him just yet, he is a wonderful kisser and he seems to know where I liked his kisses to be. Suddenly there was loud shouting. We both jumped and looked at where the shouting was coming from.

It was Potter and Evans. They were shouting so loud I couldn't make out what they were saying.

"Do you know what they're arguing about?" I asked Sirius quietly. I slowly worked out of his embrace as more people started to show up. I missed his warmth suddenly.

Sirius stared thoughtfully at the two arguing and then looked at me. "I think something about house elves." I snorted. That was ridiculous! Suddenly the arguing stopped and they went their separate ways. The sudden crowd also dispersed. I started to get up when Sirius wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me back into his warmth. I didn't struggle.

"I didn't say you could leave." Sirius said huskily in my ear.

"Oh, really? You should have said it earlier." I said back. Sirius nuzzled my neck softly. I leaned back into his chest. Sirius then licked his hickey mark. I jumped and hissed in pain.

"Does it still hurt?" Sirius asked. I looked at him.

"Yes, ever since you bit it yesterday." I said with a glare. Apparently the mark he left me before wasn't clear enough so he bit harder and made it bleed.

Sirius chuckled at my glare. "I have to let someone know that you're mine."

"Whatever. Listen, I have to go." I said, trying to sit up.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked.

"I have to send a letter to my parents. I'll see you later." I said. We both stood up. I turned to leave, but Sirius suddenly grabbed my arm, yanking me back in his embrace. One hand was on my hip, the other in my hair as he leaned down and kissed me. I instantly closed my eyes and moved my lips with his. All of Sirius's kisses are passionate. Though not intense, it still reminded me of how much he liked me.

I cautiously wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands seeking his hair. His hand on my hip slowly found the end of my shirt. As soon as his hand found skin, I froze. I leaned out of the kiss, flushed and panting. I didn't know how far he wanted to go and I wasn't comfortable with him touching me this way. Sirius pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry." Sirius mumbled softly.

We've been at this for the last three days. I told him that I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go with him. He told me he would be patient and wait for me to tell him that it was okay. I'm glad he wasn't pushing me. He had gained some more respect from me with his understanding.

"It's okay," I said, "We've only been together for five days. We have time."

"True. You still have to tell me when I've gone too far though." Sirius said.

"I have to send my letter. I'll talk to you later." I said.

Sirius gave me a peck on my lips before we said our farewell for today. I walked towards the owlery. Halfway there, I suddenly felt lonely without him. I stopped. Have I really fallen for Sirius Black? Perhaps it was his warmth. Yes, his warmth. With that thought, I continued up the winding staircase. I found Severus also sending a letter.

"Potter and Evans broke up." I said out loud.

"Oh? Again?" Severus said.

"It was unbelievably loud. Half of the grounds probably heard it." I said as a large barn owl came down. I tied the letter to its leg and watched it fly off.

"Hmmm… That always happens." Severus comment lightly. He's been sort of out there lately. I want to question him, but Severus likes a lot of privacy, so I let him be.

"I'm betting that they'll be back in a month." I said. "What do you think?"

"I'm going to stay out of it." Severus said.

I smile. Severus had lost the last bet and had to buy me five Chocolate Frogs. I left Severus and headed back to the Slytherin common room.

I, unfortunately, ran into Narcissa.

"Hello, Lucius," she purred. I moved past her. "Don't ignore your fiancée." She barked.

"Sorry, but I'm already taken." I said with a wide smirk. I'm glad I can use Sirius as an excuse.

"Oh?" Narcissa asked dumbly. She then narrowed her eyes. "Who is she?"

"Someone better than you." I said and went to my room.

This year looks very promising.

Lucius

September 21, 1973

Dear Journal,

Today was very typical until after classes. After getting Narcissa off of me with her demanding questions about my 'girlfriend', I went back to the hollowed out tree. I had told Sirius this during lunch since Gryffindor had practice that day. I missed him. I'll admit it. I enjoyed his company and his warmth that he brought. I sighed and tried to finish my homework.

Sirius finally came in the late afternoon. He hugged me like I was going to disappear. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"I missed you today." Sirius said.

I opened my mouth to say that I missed him also, but I stopped myself. It sort of scared me to reveal so much of myself in such a short period of time. It's only been six days and I've already fallen for him… to a degree. I ran my hands through his hair. I liked the noises of content he makes whenever I do that. They sound almost like purrs.

Still petting his hair, I asked, "How was practice?"

"We didn't do much. We went over basics." He replied. He loosened his grip on me and I pulled away so I could look at him. "Are you done with homework?" He asked.

"For now, yes." I said, staring in his eyes. Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned in and kissed him. I could tell that this surprised him, but it surprised me even more. I deepened the kiss by driving my tongue into his mouth. We both moaned. Soon after I did this, Sirius took control of the kiss.

I let him. I still don't know what possessed me to do that, but I enjoyed it. Soon I was on my back, Sirius straddling my hips. He kissed my lips and continued to kiss me down my neck. I moaned deep in my throat. My hands wrapped themselves back into his hair. He licked and nipped at my sensitive neck. My temperature was high, my breathing short and light. I was almost gasping for air.

I felt his hands on my hips and I opened my eyes. When did I close my eyes? I couldn't remember at that moment. Sirius was looking at me with a silent plea in his eyes.

Last night I had told myself I would let Sirius touch me, at least my chest for now. I was curious of how it would feel and forced myself to agree to it. Looking at him now, I almost said no. With hesitation, I nodded.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked. I could tell he was eager to explore me, but was holding back. I nodded again. He leaned over and kissed me as his hands made contact with my skin. I moaned long and deep. Sirius's hands explored, almost timidly, raising my shirt at the same time. Sirius pulled away from the kiss and stared at me. My entire chest was exposed to his heated gaze. I felt myself blush even more as he admired me.

He slowly dragged a finger down to one of my nipples and massaged it. I groaned at the feeling. I wanted more. Sirius leaned down and kissed down my chest, ignoring my pleas for more pleasure. Then his fingers twisted my nipples hard. I yelped, my body jumping at the sudden pleasure/pain. His lips made it back onto my neck. He then bit his mark again. I was glad he didn't bite as hard as he did last time. It was more pleasurable this time. He then sat up.

I watched him take off his shirt. I was pleased that he was muscular without over doing it. His abs were noticeable through his tan skin. I sat up, entranced. My shirt slid down and covered my chest. I gently touched his chest as he did with me. I watched him. He nodded and closed his eyes. I wrapped one arm around his hips for balance. I kissed his neck as my free hand explored his abs. Sirius groaned his pleasure.

I liked doing this to him. I enjoyed making him feel pleasure. He moaned more when my lips moved south. I latched my mouth onto one of his nipples and sucked hard. He gasped. At first, I thought he didn't like it. I had never done anything like this before. Then his hands combed my hair, encouraging me to continue. I switched to the other side and did the same thing. I let go of him and looked at him. His eyes were darker with lust and something else I couldn't identify. Pleasure? It was the only thing I could think of.

"You're a little overdressed, Lucius." Sirius muttered huskily.

"Do you want me to strip for you?" I said teasingly. Sirius tugged harshly at my shirt.

"Take it off." He said.

I did…slowly. I had learned a long time ago, before we had our relationship, that Sirius was well known for his impatience, especially when he wanted something badly. His impatience was clearly shown in his twitching fingers.

"You're taking too long." Sirius whined pitifully. I chuckled at this. He desperately wanted to yank my shirt off himself.

"You're too impatient." I said. I pulled the rest of the fabric off and tossed my shirt with his.

Sirius wrapped his arms around me. I instinctively grabbed his shoulders. He kissed me slowly. As I relaxed, my arms went around his neck. As our kiss deepened, our chests touched. I moaned loudly as our temperatures spiked. Sirius let go of my lips and went to my chest. He latched onto one of my nipples and sucked hard like I did to him. I gasped in pleasure. The pleasure went to my groin and pressure was beginning to build. I arched my back against him and groaned. Sirius gently pushed me down and continued to pleasure me with his wicked tongue.

"Sirius…" I moaned. He continued to kiss down my lower abdomen. I moaned his name again when his tongue dipped into my navel. I then felt his hands at my jeans and my body froze. We stopped and looked at each other. Our skins were flushed (I know mine was) and we were covered in a light sheet of sweat. I almost didn't want him to stop, but I knew I would regret it later.

"Lucius, do you… do you want to end it now?" Sirius asked.

"Well…we both need to get off…. Can we…?" I tried to ask, but I couldn't think to clearly of exactly what I wanted.

"I can release both of us without taking off our pants." Sirius said. He seemed to know what I wanted.

"Do it." I whispered. I needed release badly! Sirius lined up our hips and rubbed harshly against me. I moaned his name. We soon had a rhythm going. The pressure kept increasing until all I saw was white. "Sirius!" I yelled as I climaxed. Sirius came after me, grunting my name against my neck. He quickly rolled off of me. We laid there, panting.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"That was a first." Sirius said. I gave him a puzzled look. "It was the first time I heard you yell. I didn't know you had it in you." Sirius said with a small smirk.

"Yelling is usually useless. Do you like me yelling?" I asked him.

"When you're yelling my name." Sirius said, his smirk widening.

"Pervert." I muttered under my breath.

"You like it." Sirius shot back.

I blushed and looked away. I heard Sirius laugh. He then pulled me into a hug. For a while, we laid there holding each other. I noticed the outside sky.

"It's getting dark." I said. Sirius held onto me tighter. "We should get going."

"Why?"

"We could get into trouble." I said.

"That never stopped me before." Sirius said.

"Then you'll go into the castle alone." I said. I pulled out of the embrace and found my shirt. In the corner of my eye, I saw Sirius pulling on his shirt as well.

We walked out to the castle together. At the third corridor, we parted. I walked back to the Slytherin common room almost skipping. I've never felt so happy.

Lucius

September 25, 1973

Dear Journal,

It's been four days since our…what would I call that? Make out session? Yes, us making out. We've both been busy with practice and classes. Today was Slytherin's practice. We learned a few new strategies and remastered the basics. I sat on the courtyard steps and leaned against the hard wall. I thought about Sirius.

What was our relationship? I asked myself. So far it seems we have well advanced beyond what I thought was going to happen. I didn't expect making out with him (even though I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong). He's shown me so much passion and he has told me countless times that he cares about me. Perhaps I'm looking too much into it. Another question formed: Why does he want me to be his boyfriend? This I have no answer to. I've been meaning to ask him, but whenever he appears, I seem to forget it. I'm determined to ask him eventually. Out of the blue, I thought, Do I love him? Where did that come from? I think I have grown fond of him. That is true. Love? Most likely not. I enjoy his presence, but I don't think it's love. Does Sirius love me? I found it difficult to answer. Sirius is tricky with his feelings. I know he cares about me, but he hasn't proven that he is completely in love with me.

I had caught him openly flirting with one of Evan's friends the other day. I ignored him for an entire day. Finally I told him what I saw.

"You're worried that I'm going to cheat on you?" Sirius asked.

"I thought we both agreed to a relationship that considered each other as 'boyfriends'. If I'm that boring to you, then the relationship is done." I said and walked away.

"Lucius, wait!" I heard him cry out. He ran in front of me. "Listen-"

"What? You feel guilty now and want to apologize? What if you do it again? You're well known as a playboy, Sirius." I said harshly.

Suddenly I found myself pushed up against a wall with Sirius staring at me. I had never seen him look so angry. He quickly closed in and kissed me. It wasn't one of his passionate kisses. This was harsh and rough. I tried to push him away, but he pinned my wrists to the wall. When he finally let go of my lips, I was panting from lack of air.

"I like you a lot, Lucius." He whispered in my ear. "But I will not be insulted by you."

"You're only insulted because it's true." I whispered quietly.

Sirius pulled back a little and stared at me. "I promise I won't do it again."

"How do I know that?" I asked him.

"You have to trust me, Lucius." Sirius said and left.

Trust. Something I have problem with. I realized that after our conversation. I sighed. I didn't think our relationship was going to be this difficult.

Sirius sat next to me. "Hey." He said.

"Hey." I said softly back. I was slowly coming out of my thoughts.

"How was practice?" Sirius asked.

"Tiring." I said. We sat in silence. "You're forgiven by the way." I said bluntly.

"What?" Sirius asked, looking at me.

I continued to stare into space as I replied, "The thing with Evan's friend. You're forgiven." I looked at him.

Sirius smiled. I enjoy him smiling. Slowly he reached out and touched my hand. Our fingers then intertwined with each other. Sirius scooted closer to me and hugged me with his free arm. I welcomed it. I've missed his hugs. I inhaled his scent from his neck. He smelled like fresh pine and spring water. I wouldn't have known. We let go of our hands and fully hugged. Sirius ran his fingers through my hair.

"I like your hair." He mumbled.

"My mother hates it. She wants it shorter." I said with a small snort.

"You better not cut it." Sirius said darkly. I smiled at that. I gave his neck a small kiss before breaking the hug.

"What have you been doing today?" I asked.

"Waiting for you to get out of practice." Sirius said with a cat-like grin. I gave him a puzzled look. "I've missed you today."

My heart leaped when he said that. I leaned closer and gave him a soft kiss, which he deepened. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his arms wrapped around my waist. His hands went under my shirt. I moaned at the contact. As his hands gently explored, I felt myself get aroused. Two can play at this game, I thought to myself. I gently massaged his scalp with my fingers teasingly. Sirius groaned. I broke the kiss and began to kiss his neck.

"Lucius." Sirius moaned. His fingers continued to dance around my chest. I stopped kissing him and he stopped his fingers. My fingers went through his hair as Sirius pulled me back into a hug. We stayed like that for several minutes.

"Listen, I have to go." Sirius said sadly.

"Oh." I said. My heart dropped. I didn't want him to go so soon.

"James wants to show me something that a girl got him. Probably a love potion." Sirius said rolling his eyes.

I made a face. Love potions never work. "See you later then."

We got up and kissed goodbye. I watched him leave.

I think I'm in love.

Lucius

October 31, 1973

Dear Journal,

Time has flown by fast. Sirius and I are still together. Severus is acting very unusual as of late. He's been working on some potion for almost a month now. It's very unusual for him to work on an experiment for this long. He's says it's very important so I've stopped asking him about it. It's disappointing though. Severus and I haven't talked much since we've arrived at Hogwarts. I don't want to lose my best friend, but I also want to respect his privacy since he doesn't have much at home.

Tonight is the Halloween Dance. The teachers have finally allowed us some sort of privilege to have a dance this year. For once, I didn't want to go.

"Why not?" asked Sirius once I told him. It was during lunch. I wasn't hungry so I went to the courtyards. Sirius had followed me.

"Because Narcissa is probably goin to make me dance with her all night." I whined. I usually don't whine, but I can't help it when Narcissa is involved.

"I won't let it happen." Sirius said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Sirius-" I started.

He silenced me with a small kiss. "Trust me. I'm not going to surrender you just yet."

Another predicament I have encountered was to tell Severus or not about Sirius and I. Severus hates Potter and Sirius with almost with the same passion. Though he hates Potter more, which I don't blame him. I'm scared that if I tell him about the relationship, he won't be my friend anymore.

"Lucius, look at me." Sirius said. I looked at him. "You're worrying too much. Wait and see." Sirius said. I'm glad I have Sirius to tell such things to him.

Severus walked passed me without a second glance an hour before the dance. He was caring some unusual ingredients.

I'm going to the dance, though I'll regret it later. I want to talk to Sirius, but I wouldn't be able to. Sirius would be with Potter and his gang. It's getting harder each day not to spend time with each other and still act like we hate each other. I wore black pants that were almost too tight for me. I wore a white buttoned down shirt and a black jacket with black shoes. I pulled my hair in a low ponytail.

The dance was held in the Great Hall. The decorations were silver and ice blue. The theme was tundra. I liked it. It seemed to suit me. I leaned against the wall and watched the party. I saw Sirius surrounded by a large number of girls, all flirting with him. When he saw me, he winked. Satisfied, I looked for Severus. I was surprised when he told me he was coming. Severus usually didn't do parties with large crowds.

I then saw Narcissa coming towards me with several of her noisy, giggling friends. I groaned.

"Lucius, darling," Narcissa said, "where's your lovely girlfriend?"

"I didn't know you cared." I spat.

"I only care of what's mine." Narcissa said with a snarl.

"I will never be yours." I growled. I turned and left. Someone grabbed my arm. It was Narcissa.

"I didn't say you could leave." Narcissa said darkly.

I yanked my arm out of her grasp. "I never said that you could touch me either." I quickly went into the crowd, losing her.

I went and stood with Severus. He was watching something intently.

"It's been a while." I said.

"Yes, it has." Severus said with a tired sigh.

"Why are you here? You normally don't do these kinds of things." I commented.

"Neither do you." He said.

"It was either by free will or force." I said with a smile.

"Narcissa is coming." Severus warned.

"I'll see you later." I said as I went through the crowd again. The dance lasted to about ten and the after party was down by the lake. I brought the journal with me since I can't hang out with Sirius still. I noticed during the party he didn't dance with anyone, no matter how many offers he got. I was pleased. Every once in a while, (when I was out of Narcissa's grasp) I would catch him staring at me. He would smile and then look away.

The giant squid was a sight to see. It was covered in lights and seemed to enjoy itself. I

MUHAHAHAHA!!!! A cliffhanger! Please review! I made this a long one this time to make up for lost time!