Untitled

by AngelFeathers
a.k.a MoonAngel

My second one~! I'm a slow writer ^^;; (Disappeared for a whole week... eek) A small note of thanks to Lemon and Lady Destiny for proof reading. And to SW and Von, you're my inspiration! =) Saiyuki's really the first anime I got the courage to write fics about.

Again, any mistakes you find here belongs to me. Sadly, the characters don't. ;_; Erm... I'm trying hard to write a Gojyo x Hakkai fic (my fav couple! ^^) But my brain isn't co-operating. And this came out instead. o.O;

oOoOoOoOo

A gunshot.

S-Sanzo?

I whirl round to where the sound came from, finding nothing. No one. All around stands a barren land, not a single tree or soul in sight. The living seem almost... non-existent. The soil sits cracked and dry, the scorching sun blazing mercilessly high in the cloudless sky, absorbing whatever moisture there is left.

What's happening? Where's everyone?

Another shot abruptly pierces through the silence.

I clasp my hands to my ears as the gunshot continues to echo in my head, the noise loud and persistent. Amidst all the deafening ringing, I hear something else. A soft, dull thud, sounding too much like flesh and limbs collapsing onto the earth. My heart skips a beat and I turn round instinctively...

...And the very scene that meets my eyes made my blood run cold.

No...

I'm hardly aware that my breathing quickens, hardly aware of the tears that sting my eyes and blurs my vision.

This... this can't be happening. No, not to him...

I shake my head in disbelief, trying to clear the mirage. It has to be an illusion...

But it isn't.

There, on the ground, lay Sanzo's unmoving body, something wet staining his black garment, spreading profusely outwards from his chest, right above the heart. Blood... Blood pools from beneath him, growing like it'll never end as the dry earth greedily steals whatever it can for itself. My breath catches, and I stagger back in shock and horror.

His eyes, purple eyes all but stares blankly at me, no traces of life in their depths.

No. No! H-Hakkai, w-where are you? Sanzo's dying... He's... he's--

"Dead."

I look up to the voice, the action allowing the tears to escape from my eyes, falling and creating hot trails that scald my cheeks. In a pathetic attempt, I try to brush them away, only to find that I can't. I simply can't... the grief is too painful to bare. Why did this have to happen? Why... Sanzo?

Through a haze of tears, I manage to make out a distorted figure standing next to Sanzo, long brown hair flowing down behind elf like ears and his shoulders, playing with the wind. The distinct colour of his eyes grab my attention. Staring back helplessly into a pair of golden orbs I see the coldness fade in them, replaced by a maniacal gleam that make me shudder. The lips crooked in a smile move, yet the low voice that spoke resounded only in my mind.

"Look at what you've done."

Swallowing a painful lump in my throat, I let the words sink in, unconsciously biting my lip so hard I taste the tang of blood. I can't find any meaning in the sentence, but my chest begins to hurt so much it feels numb.

Harsh and bitter laughter erupts from the figure before me, breaking the trance his golden eyes has put me into. For the first time, I notice the familiar clothes he wore. I notice the blood spattered on them. The gun hanging in his hand. The golden eyes. The brown hair that fell freely...

...and the missing diadem. No longer in the place it's supposed to be.

T-This can't be happening.

The laughter stops, the demented smile back, golden eyes gripping mine prisoner.

"Look at what you've done."

No!

I shut my eyes seeking comfort in the darkness, refusing to believe the scene.

That couldn't possibly be me. Not with the gun... I-I would never hurt Sanzo! Never...

My hands reach up to clean the tears from my face, never managing to complete their journey as crimson liquid comes into view. Warm fluid that covers my hands, trickling down my wrist to my elbows.

No... No!

oOoOoOoOo

"Hey, hey, Goku wake up, you're having a nightmare."

I gasp, bolting upright in bed, awakening to a darken room. Breathing heavily, I feel sweat soaked clothes cling to my body.

A... a dream?

"Hey, you okay?"

I grasp the sheets, looking at a sleepy yet concerned Gojyo hovering next to my bed. I nod uncertainly, lowering my face just as the first tear fell. Tossing the covers away, I immediately abandon the no longer comfortable bed.

Too real... it was all too real.

"What the--" I hear Gojyo say from behind as I open the door and walk out. "You monkey! Where are the hell are you going at this time of the night?"

I make my way briskly to the room next door, ignoring Gojyo's frustrated calls. Opening the door, I spot Sanzo lying on the bed, bathe in the gentle glow of the moonlight.

Please let him be alive. Please...

Running over with tears that I can't stop, I came to stand before the very person who saved me from loneliness, the very person who gave me my freedom. If he ever dies by my hand, I have no idea why I should remain alive for.

I reach out, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest wasn't enough. I need to feel him. To hear his heart beating with life, to know that I didn't shoot him... didn't kill him.

I didn't get the chance to, though. The closed eyelids snapped open, revealing purple eyes... not dead, accusing ones. But eyes filled with awareness, and life.

A gun aimed straight at me. Somehow I rather it this way, then have me pick up the gun one day and kill him, without even knowing that I did it.

Those eyes soften just a little, maybe it's because of the tears. I don't know. The gun lowers; Sanzo completely lets down his guard upon realizing it was just me.

Just me? I could have killed him.

"Goku, you dumb monkey, what are you trying to do--"

Without thinking, I throw myself into his arms. His gun drops onto the wooden floor and I feel him tense up. I hug him tightly, crying against his chest, afraid that if I ever let go I'll lose him forever.

"I'm so sorry... so sorry..."

"You idiot... " I hear him say tenderly after a while, so soft like a whisper. His arms reach around me, tentatively at first, pulling me close into a firm embrace. Never once have I heard him admit that he cared, even from the day I first saw him. But his actions alone tells me much more. Tells me what I'll never hear.

I continue to cry, sobbing in both anguish and relief. Anguish and hurt that my dream could very well become a reality. Relief that it did not actually happened, that I'm so close to him feeling his warmth, hearing the strong beat of his heart.

I don't know how long it was I remained in his arms. He never said anything, just held me like... like something fragile, one hand stroking my hair. Pulling away, I try to apologize, only to have a sob escape my throat. I gaze up at him to see his purple eyes brightened by the moonlight, his expression gentle. Just like the day I first met him.

There is no mistaking the affection I see, either.

Not wanting the moment to end, I bury my face into the crook of his neck. Sanzo returns to holding me, cradling me until I fall into blissful sleep. One where nightmares dare not disturb.

oOoOoOoOo

The next morning...

"Goku, do the laundry today."

"Huh? I thought it was Hakkai's turn!"

"It's your punishment for wetting my clothes last night."

"Wah! You can't do that!"

"And to think you two looked like lovers last night."

Sounds of bullets hitting the wall.

"Okay okay! I'll shut up already!"

~Owari~

Comments? ^^;; Maybe a suggestion for the title?

I had to do the last scene, the small dialogue cause Sanzo never admits anything does he? Even if it's so obvious that he does care. ;)

Oh, if you hate this fic, it's perfectly understandable, I don't exactly like it too. .; It's the first fic I did in present tense, from first person view... lol.