"Hi, you've reached the Tau'ri," a sarcastic voice drawled. "If you're a Gou'ald, please press 1; we're sorry we can't kick your sorry ass right now but leave a message at the tone and we'll get back to you as soon as the holidays are over.
"If you're a To'kra, please press 2; we're sorry we're not available to be your slaves at the moment, call back after New Years.
"If you're an Asgard, please press 3; don't worry—we'll check back to see if Thor's consciousness has been completely downloaded into his body after Christmas.
"If you're a Replicator, please press 4; your invasion is important to us—if you'll be patient we'll squeeze you in after the big bad Gou'ald's appointment.
"If you're a Nox, please press 5; you brought us back from the dead so I guess we owe ya one big enough to see ya before Christmas—state your name and business and we'll get back to you soon.
"If you're a Rebel Jaffa, please press 6; we'll invite you to the party if you promise not to challenge one of our officers to the death over who gets the last cup of punch.
"And everyone else press 7; this includes Daniel's Ascended/Descended Ancient buddies, Carter's Entity buddies, Teal'c's bug friends, and any alien devices looking to put an artificial arm through my shoulder.
"Once again, you have reached the Tau'ri. Please leave a message after the beep. Thank you."
BEEP
Silence surrounds the group of people on the other side of the Stargate.
"Well," Ba'al said, his all-too-haughty smirk gone. "We shall see how impudent those Tau'ri are when this…Christmas…is over"
"Sir, do you really think we should have just…left like that?" Carter asked. She, along with every member of the SGC, was at the Christmas party General O'Neill was holding at O'Malley's a few blocks down.
"Sure, why not?" he asked, pouring a cup of punch.
"What if someone dials the gate?"
"The answering machine'll get it"
"Sir."
"Jack I don't know who's crazier, you or the people who agreed go through with it." Daniel said abruptly.
"Hey now, Daniel, remember that 89 of us had to—he ordered us. YOU, on the other hand, were completely free to stay," Carter snapped, grinning in spite of herself.
"No, I wasn't—he blackmailed me."
"O'Neill has presented us outside your military with little choice," Teal'c stated.
Carter sniggered. "What was it—this or fishing?"
"Yes" was repeated in unison.