AN: Just a tangent my muse threw at me when I considered all the verbal barbs Shego tosses around. What if someone had the stones to call her on one? This is a complete lark. This is an AU after StD, and I don't own Kim Possible... I do own a DVD of Kelly's Heroes, great movie. Thanks to all who reviewed my one shot Kim Possible: Knights Of The Old Gymnasium!

"You're too beautiful to ignore. Too much woman." - James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek: The Original Series, 'The Enemy Within'

Chapter 1: Words Are Worse Than Self-Destruct Buttons

We join our tale in a lair somewhere on Mt. Middleton during a typical mission with our two heroes against the evil machinations of Dr. Drakken and the hotness that is Shego...

I.

"Ok Shego, time to put up or shut up... I'm free tomorrow night, I'd like to make you dinner and take you out dancing or to a movie." Ron offered to the now stunned woman. He had taken enough verbal jabs from this 'evil' woman over the years, time to turn the tables. All sound in the lair stopped, you could have heard that proverbial pin drop.

Kim was dumbstruck for a few moments upon hearing this, regaining her composure she stalked up to her friend and proceeded to tear him a new one.

"Ronald Tiberius Stoppable what in the devil do you think you are doing? This is Shego! This isn't some girl you met in the library. This is Shego! You know plasma blasts, try and kill you for years, SHEGO!" Kim was livid and ranting in Ron's face... If I didn't know better I'd say he has major head trauma!

Ron reached over and patted Kim's shoulder, then moved so he could face Shego and Kim at once.

"Kim, so not the drama, I just want to get to know Shego outside of work... I've always thought she's cute and she does have the most gorgeous green eyes around and of course that long, silky jet black hair..." Ron began strongly but soon drifted into a glazed eyed glance at the blushing Shego. He snapped himself out of it and explained as he moved his eyes fully to the stunned, and stunning, villainess. "Shego you are always making snide remarks about me and Kim together, problem is we aren't together, we tried and it didn't work, we're friends only. I've had lots of dates but the one woman I keep thinking about is you. So it's time Shego, instead of making the quips about me how about learning if any of it is true or not for real?"

II.

Shego could not have imagined this turn of events when she got out of bed that morning, she could not in her life remember being this stunned. She expected the usual. Drakken raves about the 'whack' new plan he has for taking over the world, Kimmie and the Sidekick show up, self destruct goes off and still time for a bubble bath before bed, or to make a shank in lockup before catching a nap... depending on how things ended up. As usual she'd throw a few verbal quips and barbs around, bringing some sunshine into her day... Princess and Stoppable always made such good targets for her verbal assaults... Stoppable moreso, but not today. Mother always told me there'd be days like this.

Now she had Kim Possible's blonde headed sidekick offering to take her out on a date so he could get to know her, and he admitted he had a crush on her...

A small part of her mind began to call to her... Ok, you haven't had a date in years, he always seems to be a nice guy, Princess does rave about his cooking, and he does have a cute butt. You'd be crazy to say no... besides it's not like you can't singe him if he tries anything stupid! Wait... his middle name is Tiberius! Odd name... He thinks I'm cute! The inner teenager she rarely indulged became a giggling, blushing, random burble at that thought... and she could not stop herself from enjoying it.Agreeing with those thoughts she had to admit that his words touched her deeply. His comments on her eyes and hair made her blush, something she hadn't done in years.

III.

It took a minute for the meaning of Ron's little speech to sink in, when it did Kim became much more than tweaked, she became fury, "SHEGO has the most gorgeous green eyes around? You now have a date with my mother and an MRI machine! I can't comprehend how you'd think HER eyes are any better looking than mine!"

"SEE," Kim said as she pointed to her eyes, now locked on a cowering Ron, "My eyes are the most beautiful shade of GREEN! You even said it yourself Ronald! You said my eyes were a beautiful shade of green!"

Ron at that moment seemed to find strength within himself, he stood ramrod straight, toe to toe with Kim, looking down at her, his eyes locked on hers and a harsh snarl on his face, "I called Shego's eyes gorgeous, that in my mind is far more bon-diggety than beautiful. Back off and let me do this. It's my life, not yours!"

His voice and demeanor softened and he turned from the once again stunned Kim to the recovering Shego, "What do you say Shego? Home cooked meal, a movie or dancing... me and you in my Mercedes, I think we could have a good time together... and not in a naughty way either, I try not to think about you that way... oh crap, I DON'T think of you THAT way! Just saying your beautiful, stunning really... I'll be quiet now." Ron finished as he clamped his hands over his mouth suddenly realizing his feet weren't the cleanest things to be inserting in there. I can live life without certain parts, it'll be a sad existence but I'll be alive!

Slowly coming out of her fog Shego realized what was coming out of Ron's mouth, and what he was trying to shove in. Her mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to do. Do I say yes? He is sooo cute when he gets flustered, never noticed that... notice that later! And the way he shut down the Princess? HOT! Big plus he said I was stunning and said it without threat of bodily harm! So yes? Decisions, decisions...

IV.

"Yes, what time and where?" Shego finally spoke in a clear and even tone as she looked at Ron, struggling to keep her cheeks their normal colour.

"Wha!" Kim, who was already poleaxed from the tongue lashing Ron had just given her sank even deeper into brain overload... She said yes... I must still be in bed, only answer, never woke up.

Ron just smiled... Happy day, I get to keep my parts and I now have a date with a beautiful woman... "How about 5 PM at my place?"

"Where would that be?" Shego asked with a smile.

"24 Sussex Drive in that new subdivision out past the University, you know about it?" Ron asked.

"You mean Stickley Hills? You live there! I saw the news special on that, very beautiful homes." Shego was shocked, as a connoisseur of fine things the subdivision had caught her attention, no mere cookie cutter subdivision with boring homes each home was a custom Arts & Crafts style design for the owner. Ok, he has a few suprises up his sleeve I never knew about, just makes things more interesting.

"Yep, I just moved in last month." Ron confirmed with a warm smile for the villainess. She seems impressed, good first step... the Ronman's got it going on!

V.

"I hate to break up this touching scene, but... GET THEM SHEGO!" Came the crazed scream of Dr. Drakken from the control booth high on the wall of the lair.

Shego started to drop back into her combat stance, ready to beat on Kimmie when a loud rumble broke her concentration, all eyes turned towards the growing sound. It seemed to be coming from the mad doctor's latest superweapon.

Suddenly the giant laser designed to darken the sky and chill everyone out shook and clattered, falling into a heap of parts on the floor.

Drakken screamed and began pounding his fists against the control panel, "My perfect plan! It worked this morning when I tested it! Not fair.. never fair!"

The demented doctor soon broke into sobs as he curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Um, not that I'm complaining, but what happened? We didn't touch it." Kim spoke with a perplexed look spread across her face, the sitch with Ron and Shego momentarily forgotten.

"Yeah, what the Cheerleader said." Shego commented as she scratched her head in thought.

"Booyah, score one for the Rufus-Factor! Come on out buddy!" Ron yelled out.

A little pink blur scampered quickly from hiding, discarding a bolt from its bucktoothed maw as it ran towards it's master, leaping up into his lowered palm.

"The more they over think the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain... right Rufus?" Ron said with a smile, quoting his favorite engineer.

"Uh-huh!" Spoke the naked mole rat as he scurried to his usual perch on Ron's shoulder.

Shego couldn't help but laugh at the pair. Then she remembered why they had come in the first place and frowned.

"So now that Dr.D is in tears what happens next? You drag me off to jail and we forget about the date?" Shego growled, she'd never admit it to anyone but the prospect of missing the date really bothered her. Funny how I'm already looking forward it.

"Maybe." Ron stated teasingly.

"What do you mean 'maybe'?" Shego growled a bit harsher. If he's pulling my leg I'll rip one of his off!

"Well actually you and Drakken are both free to go... legal technicality." Ron said quickly as Kim's jaw bounced off the concrete floor like a superball.

VI.

"WHAT!" Shego yelled, fixing Ron with a 'you better explain that' look. Maybe Kimmie was right about that trip to a MRI machine.

"You see there's a little story in that." Ron said as a beginning, a sheepish look on his face, ignoring Kim's frantic waves urging him to not say anything. "There isn't really a law against attempting to take over the world per se. Every time you were arrested before it was always for Grand Theft, or Attempted Kidnapping, or Kidnapping... well you get my drift... that's why when you escaped after just the standard 'take over the world' plots no one really hunted you. It actually made things easier for GJ because otherwise they would've had to just let you go. Loss of face and all that. So you see Shego while other countries still have you on their 'most wanted' lists here in America you're free and clear." Ron explained with a slightly sheepish look.

"You gotta be kidding! Princess tell me Ronald Tiberius here is kidding!" Shego nearly yelled.

"Unfortunately Ron is telling you the complete truth... something he wasn't supposed to reveal." Kim shot Ron a nasty glare, "As long as you don't break any laws trying it we can't hold you."

Suddenly Shego's eyes flared a nasty shade of dark green and her hands ignited, "You mean to say all those times I sat in a little cell... Hank Perkins better pray I never get ahold of him... criminal law degree my light green ass!"

Kim had to chuckle at this, hiding her laugh behind a gloved hand as those dangerous green eyes shifted to her. What does she expect hiring a guy who does temp work for villains when he's not practicing law!

VII.

Noticing that Shego had calmed down slightly, Ron asked a question of her with an quiet and mild, but serious voice. "Oh, before I forget, anything you're allergic to, or any foods you absolutely detest?"

Shego blinked repeatedly as her mind processed his words... He really is a caring person, who else would think to ask something like that? She fixed him with a smoldering gaze as she spoke. "No allergies and I'm not a picky woman... well except when it comes to the men I go out with." Noticing his blush she continued. "You definitely seem like quality Ron, but we'll see tomorrow at 5."

The auburn-haired teen heroine rolled her eyes at the comment, then groaned as she realized Ron was in a near stupor with a set of glazed eyes and a fire engine red face.

Kim spoke in a very tweaked tone as she grabbed the still blushing blonde and drug him towards the exit. "Come on Ron, we saved the day now we get to go home."

"See you tomorrow evening Ronnie." Shego called out in a sweet tone, waving to the befreckled blonde. She knew very well she was entrancing Ron, and as a bonus enraging Kimmie.

It was all Ron could do to wave back, a smile plastered across his face so wide it seemed his head was cut in half. I can't wait for tomorrow night, BOOYAH!

AN: And so ends the first chapter, the next will be a bit warm... I want to do a trial run of something for another story. I'm getting a bad habit of trying concepts out in short story ideas. The legal thing at the end is a little fabrication on my part, something I came up with to explain how Shego is always allowed to escape. Is Shego OOC? That's up to you, myself I tend to think Ron caught her completely off guard and she took his offer as genuine... remember she can still serve him up extra crispy if he does rub her the wrong way (and yes there is a hint there for the next chapter!). This story WILL live up to its rating!

And my fellow Canadians may have caught a slight joke with Ron's address.