Mega-Death-Wave... Thing of the Daleks

We return to the Gamestation for a quick reminder that the Daleks (not the Axons, apparently) have been up to their usual tricks, like killing people, but not killing Rose. Rose eavesdrops on the Dalek's loud, angry plans of extermination and figures out the outcome using her amazing powers of ancient wisdom (they're firing missiles (the TARDIS doesn't have defences (they're gonna kill the Doctor (people die when they're killed! (except Captain Jack))))), before realising that not only does she not know this yet, but it's also not yet true. Thus she dismisses it from her mind.

The TARDIS is flying, for no apparent reason given that it can just materialise on board the Dalek ship. As soon as the Doctor realises this he does so, helpfully parking on top of Rose. After some compulsory Doctor-mourning (my people are dead, I'm all sad and stuff), he decides the conservation of ninjitsu will save him and goes for a walkabout with the Daleks. Then he gets exterminated and the show comes to an end.

...so he's got a forcefield now? The Doctor (or 'Steve', as he's known on the Dalek homeworld), uses his powers of interrogation to find the secret location of the Dalek Emperor (just behind him), the last survivor of the Time War. Yeah, another one. The Emperor joins in on the compulsory Doctor-mourning (my race keep dying, but I'm not sad cos I don't have emotions) and decides he is "THE GOD OF ALL DA-LEKS... except the ones that came before me. And the ones who aren't in this room...", which really just makes him a lieutenant. The Doctor is bored by now and wanders off for some adventure.

The gang return to the Gamestation, whereupon they find a gaggle of angry winners, including the not-so-friendly-after-all black man from before, stranded and milling around (as one does when stranded). The not-so-friendly black man informs us all of how the Daleks don't exist (clearly he wasn't watching earlier) and so Jack shoots at the ceiling and storms off in anger. Silly Jack.

With a sudden burst of technobabble the solution is found, and (following a quick snog with Captain Jack), the Doctor gets to work. Jack runs off to shoot stuff, taking a gang of creepy staff with him to help. Rose... just stands around and talks. She's not very helpful, so she gets sent back to the present, where she shouts at the TARDIS for a while before going to get some chips with Mickey.

Lynda is placed in the 'Deadly Room of Certain Death If You Ever Go In' (don't worry, it's just a name) and starts narrating all the action, providing such gems as "The Daleks are killing people!" and "The Daleks are killing some different people!". The Daleks give her a bad review and she gets fired... with a laser. And thus dies. It's a sad moment.

Captain Jack Flash spends the rest of the episode completely failing to kill anything, and ends up dead as well, for the first of many times (but we don't know that yet). The Doctor has finished his mega-killing-wave... thing, but he realises too late that it will mega-kill everyone, which wasn't his plan at all. Then the Daleks come in and look quite menacing. Silly Daleks.

Rose is bored of eating chips by now, so she gets Jackie and Mickey to help steal cars and break the TARDIS with them. Somehow this leads to her gaining magic (as you'd expect) and flying off to save the day. Meanwhile, in the future (yes, as Rose points out, the future is happening at the same time as the present...), the Doctor is still being menaced by Daleks until his wily sidekick turns up and kills them with a Deus Ex Machina and snogs him. She's a terrible kisser though, and... he dies. But unlike everyone else who's died today (which is pretty much everyone), the Doctor has the power of exploding, and does so, thus becoming Casanova. And he takes them off to Barcelona for more adventures and snogging.

That finally marks the end of the first series, after about four years of these summaries... Keep an eye out for Series Two, which should be completed a bit faster, assuming I don't just forget about it like I did with this one.