Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the plot.

Summary: Voldemort has finally killed Harry and has gained immortality. Next on his to do list is to take over the Muggle world. How will he accomplish this, well read and find out.

Note: Any mention of the seventh book comes from my imagination. Any coincidence that it does come true, well, that just means I'm psychic.

Voldemort and the Muggle Careers

Prologue: The Beginning of the End

The Dark Lord was pacing in his study. He opened his mouth to speak, well yell, but then closed it. He sat down and tapped his fingers impatiently on the arm rest. His red eyes narrowed in irritation. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could set the door on fire.

"I apologize for being so late. Pettigrew needed me to check under his bed again in case Black was hiding there," explained Lucius Malfoy. "I don't understand why. He died in the fifth book."

"Oh please, you know very well that Black came back to life in the beginning of the seventh book as my evil servant, but then broke the Imperious Curse and went back to his precious godson," explained Voldemort, watching Lucius walk in with his long, silvery blond hair flowing. He self consciously rubbed his head. I wish I had hair like that, he thought.

"Right, what did you need to see me for, milord?"

"It's time to set into action my plan to take over the Muggle world."

An evil twinkle in Malfoy's eye lit up. He drew his wand and said, "I've been waiting for this moment for a long time."

"No, put that wand away, we are not going to make them go bald."

Lucius frowned. He did not like it when the plan was changed. It irritated him a great deal, but he couldn't let the most evil and powerful wizard know that. He would die, just like that Potter brat. Just last week, Voldemort finally managed to kill Harry, The Boy-Who-Is-No-Longer-Alive. It was an intense battle, but evil prevailed.

"So, what is your plan?"

"Well, if we start a war with those Muggles, it will get a little hectic. I've chosen an alternative way, since they have all those nuclear weapons and bombs and guns and . . . tanks and jets and . . . I think that's all. Anyway, those Muggle weapons are quite annoying, and the more stupider-" Now Lucius was sure there was no such word as 'stupider,' but he was not going to say anything about it, even though grammatical errors bothered him a great deal. Just last week, he was ready to choke his son Draco for incorrectly using the word 'I.' "-Death Eaters are sure to get hit and die. We can't afford to lose more men as it is."

Voldemort stood up and circled Lucius. His eye twitched. His hair looks even better from the back. Maybe he'll cut it and make a wig for me. . .

Why is he circling me? Is he sizing me up for something? I hope it's not for more robes, thought LuciusJust last week, he had to model for the newest Death Eater robes. It was the same as ones before, except the new ones were an inch shorter and were made of cotton. They were much more comfortable and roomy. It made killing so much easier.

"Lucius, are you paying attention to me?"

"Sorry," the blond mad apologized. "What did you say?"

"My plan is to work my way up in Muggle society," repeated Voldemort.

Lucius blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I am going to pretend I'm a Muggle. I will work as any Muggle works. I will get paid, become rich, become a world leader, then wage an all out war against the other countries by sending spies in, using the Killing Curse."

Lucius blinked.

"Through all this, I will pretend that I am trying to stop this by having them sign a treaty, but that treaty is secretly a 'Hand-All-Power-And-Leadership-To-Lord-Voldemort' contract thing. All the major world leaders shall sign it, and I will rule the world! And since I have finally gained immortality, I will rule for a really long time!"

Just last week, Voldemort did gain immortality. This was done by strange ancient ritual/sacrifice thing that involved a human sacrifice. Naturally, Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Is-No-Longer-Alive, was the human sacrifice.

Lucius blinked, again. He paused for a moment to pick his words carefully. "If I may be so bold, if all the countries in the world are warring, then why would they sign your so called 'Hand-All-Power-And-Leadership-To-Lord-Voldemort' treaty? How are you going to get them in the same room with each other without them killing each other?"

It was Voldemort's turn to blink this time. "Imperious Curse," the Dark Lord replied simply.

It was amazing how many problems could be solved by using an Unforgivable. Just last week, well never mind, last week was just too busy. Besides, this one was a very long story.

"So, what will your first Muggle career be?" asked Lucius.

Voldemort grinned evilly and said, "You know, I've always wanted to be an ice cream man ever since the orphanage."

CrazyDreamerGirl: This story was inspired by a strange hobby a friend of mine and I have. Please enjoy, and review! Or else Voldie will use an Unforgivable on you, just like on poor Johnny. . . As I said before, that was one long story. Excuse me; I must visit Johnny in the mental asylum now. He thinks I'm his savior, and I will rescue him from his 'everlastingly dark and evil torture that will test him in his faithfulness and obedience to gain eternal glory in the afterlife of Choco Paradise.'