Chapter One: Crazy Raine and the Poor, Poor Pastor

"Boyd! GET UP!" Professor Raine shouted. She was looking as angry as ever.

"Urghh...it's Lloyd," he mumbled as he slowly raised his head. To his disappointment, as soon as he raised his head up, he was smacked in the face by the backside of her hand.

"WHY WHY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO MEAN TO ME!" Lloyd shouted as he ran out of the classroom, tears pouring down his face.

"Anyone else want to get smacked? You've already seen what I did to Floyd." Raine said very threatingly. A kid in the front row let out a small whimper. "I HEARD THAT!" she screamed and nailed him in the face with the broom.

"Raine! Stop!" Genis shouted. "Next you're going to be abusing animals, and you know how much I love animals!"

"Muahahahaha.." Raine laughed maniacally as she grabbed Genis's pet rabbit named Mr. Cuddly Wuddly and threw him out the window. "YOU FOOLISH CHILDREN SHALL ALL DIE!" She pulled out a machine gun and began to shoot up the classroom. The kids all turned their desks over and prepared for the worst.

While Raine was distracted, three kids ran out of the classroom to the pay phones. One of them called 911, one of them called child/animal abuse hotline, and one of them ordered some Domino's Pizza.

Pretty soon the school was surrounded with vehicles. There were a bunch of cop cars and helicopters circling around in the sky. The SWAT team dangled down the ropes and jumped through the school windows, heavily armed. The Dominos employee was wondering who he should ask for the money. And Genis was outside, very upset, looking for Mr. Cuddly Wuddly.

Eventually Raine was captured. Her punishment was two weeks of outstanding community service. Some argued that she got off too easy, saying that she should do hard time. Others took the opposite side, saying mopping floors and sweeping streets was horrifying work.

"WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!" Raine screamed as they put her into a straitjacket and locked her into a windowless van. "I WILL KILL YOU ALL!"

"MR. CUDDLY WUDDLY IS..." Genis sobbed. "DEAD!" Lloyd ran up and began playing the violin slowly and sadly. Colette hid in the bushes and snickered to herself. She was a very mean girl. She kicked puppies and bunnies and all kinds of our woodland friends. She beat up Genis when no one was looking. And Lloyd too, for that matter.

Just then a very, very bright light flashed. Super bright.

"Holy chicken casserole!" Genis yelled, suddenly forgetting all about his rabbit friend. "THAT WAS HECKA BRIGHT!"

"Oh just shut your brat little face, Genis," Colette said very cruelly. "Maybe grow a few feet and people will actually listen to you. Hahahahahahahaha..."

"WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!" Genis screamed. Apparently he took after his big sister. Well, maybe only a little.

"Colette why do you have to be so-" Lloyd began until he thought of a very good insult. "YEAH GENIS, YOU ARE SHORT! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Colette began to join in with Lloyd and they laughed together. Genis began to sob again.

"Well, maybe we should check out what that light was," Lloyd said. "Crap, we probably would have known what it was if we actually paid attention."

"I pay attention," said Genis very smugly.

"Did anyone give you permission to talk, BRAT?" Colette said which made Genis cry again. "It's the freaking oracle thingy. Since I'm the Chosen I get to go up there and choose stuff."

"Awesome," Lloyd said. "Wait a minute..I wanna choose stuff! What kind of stuff do you get to choose?"

"I dunno," Colette said. "Let's go find out."

"Me TOO!" said Genis. It was at that point where Lloyd and Colette pushed him face down and he began to cry uncontrollably again.

Once they got up to the church, they saw Pastor getting the snot beaten out of him by Botta and his men. The shoved him into the wall and slammed his head multiple times until he began to cry like a little two year old.He screamed "WAH" as he ran down the hill. As he was running down the hill one of the Renegades pulled out a knife and threw it out him. It hit him directly in his back and he screamed out with pain. He lost his balance and landed face fiirst on the concrete.

"WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!" he screamed as he ran up to Lloyd, Colette, and the brat. "Colette..you must not get killed by the Desians, or else you don't get to choose stuff."

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like what kind of wallpaper all the Houses of Salvation will use for next year," the Pastor murmured.

"Wow," Colette said. "I never knew that I said SUCH a responsibility. I will take all of my duties as Chosen seriously. But for now-" she said and looked down at the dying Pastor with a smirk on her face and pointed at him. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"WHY WHY WHY WHY-" the Pastor said and then he died. Tough cookies with milk.

"Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles," Lloyd said. " 'Specially if it's in milk. Well, let's go."

Why is Colette so mean? What will happen to Raine? Why does everyone keep screaming WHY multiple times? Find out in Chapter Two.

End Chapter One