Ride Like the Wind
Chapter 61

Solomon Grundy,
Born on a Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday.
That was the end of Solomon Grundy.

-.-.-

It's finally happened... Kurama sighed as he plucked the grey hair out. Happy belated nineteenth birthday, Shuichi. He sighed and leaned towards the window. The sight of the snow turned his stomach and he turned around in his chair, eyes eyes glued to the floor, vaguely aware of the packed bags near his feet. He heard Kaitou's heavy footsteps going toward the door.

"Shuichi. Maya told me about what happened to the Doctor's wife. Listen... People die and you start feeling bad about it and... Oh, what's the use? I won't get anywhere with this speech. There's a ship leaving today if you really want to go home. I don't think you liked being here anyway. You just never seemed to act like it... And hell, I was a fool for even thinking you should have come with me. We're both fools, aren't we? No, I'm being cruel, I'm the only…" Kaitou stood in the doorway and groaned. He decided it was best that he didn't complete that thought at all. "So, I take it you will be going home?"

Suddenly, Sakyou came out of the closet, Don Quixote de la Mancha in his hands and he recited,

"So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends."

"Damn it Sakyou! Can't you do anything that doesn't antagonize me? And what were you doing in the closet anyway?" Kaitou growled.

"I don't recall really. I just woke up in there. I had a lot to drink last night. It was a real drinking day yesterday. Didn't you feel it too? But I wasn't listening to what you were saying. And even if I were, why should you even worry? I'm not a gossiping old woman that listens to people as they talk in their sleep. I could care less about your affairs. Maybe before I would have been since I don't know Shuichi well but with all this chaos (I guess you can call it that...) going on, it doesn't matter."

"I was just running away, Kaitou. I think in the end we all were. So I'm going home. Don't expect me to come back anytime soon. Assuming that everyone in back in America goes to war with each other," Kurama whispered into his bags.

"You can stay. Things will get better. It's just that times are bad..." Kaitou was interrupted. "You know, if it's just that things have been going badly that made you want to leave. But otherwise…"

"I'll write. When I can."

"I'll come with you. I don't want you to feel lonely on the way home or anything."

"You don't need to follow me because you pity me. I think maybe... No..."

"Just don't worry too much about it anymore."

"I'm not... I just..." He walked out.

In the hall, Sakyou's voice echoed, "Goodbye, Shuichi Minamino..."

-.-.-

Kurama kneeled in front of Mukuro's grave once he found it. After a moment he started to pray until he heard footsteps approaching him. He didn't look up. He felt like it would kill him if he looked up. For that moment, he really wished it could have just been him at that empty grave.

The person couldn't disappear because Kurama wished he would. "Don't sit in the cold like that. You'll get sick."

Kurama looked up to see Yomi even though he already knew it was him. "What's in this grave? Or who? On second thought do I want to know if it's a who?"

"I don't know. If there's anything in there, I was never told anything about it. For all I know they could have thrown in a bunch of wine bottles."

"Didn't you go to her funeral?"

"No."

"No?"

"I couldn't. I saw no point in mourning over an empty coffin. It's not just pointless but it feels like we're not crying in the right place. Not that she'll have everyone in London at the funeral or anything. No one really knew who she was and of the people that knew her weren't really that fond of her for reasons we both can figure out on our own. I think it's kind of jumping the gun if we haven't even found her." The doctor crouched next to him and reached out to the grave then pulled back. Kurama realized why when he saw there was a bandage on his wrist.

"You cut yourself. You could die like that."

"I punished myself for being weak. If I could have been stronger then maybe this never would have happened. Yet... I feel more apathetic towards this 'death'. I basically had her 'killed' but I don't feel a thing. I do hope she's honestly dead. If she already has ulcers I can't imagine how she'll cope with that after getting shot in the stomach. She had more things wrong with her than I could manage and most of it was both of our faults. Right now… I really wish she did just take him." He paused, thinking he just said something tactless. "Take my coat. You're shivering." He took his coat and draped it over Kurama.

"You're not cold?"

"England's pretty warm in comparison to Scotland and Russia. I haven't been to Russia but Koenma insists that there's nowhere colder than where he's from. Where did you say you were from?"

"San Francisco. California."

"Cali- How did you end up in Boston and more importantly, how did you end here?"

"It's a long story. I don't understand it myself." He wrapped his arms tighter around himself as if to squeeze out the pain. It didn't have to end like this… Why did it have to end this way? Why couldn't she just have pulled through like she always did?

"Well... Listen, you can come over whenever you like for any reason. My door is always open if you need it to be. It must sound awkward to you because we don't know each other as well as I would have liked but… You shouldn't have to deal with all this pain in you alone. You've had enough to deal with for a while, and I know that you have. I can feel it. So, really, don't be afraid to come over."

"Thanks for the offer but I'm afraid I won't be taking it. I'm taking the next ride back to America. Then I won't have to be here pointlessly anymore."

"I know that you're smarter than that. You're not in your right mind. But I'd be damned if Shura or that guy from Peru is either. Well, the second one's debatable since he's never made a real decision yet. We've all gone a slippery slope."

"Hiei's Mexican. There's a big difference."

"Sure. Same thing."

"Peru's more south than Mexico."

"Okay. I'll agree with you."

"So... Where do you plan on going now?" Kurama finally turned around to look at him.

"I'll figure that out when I get there. I have to find Shura first before he can get going. When I woke up this morning he was missing. I think he forgot about his medication too. I really should get going." He patted Kurama on the shoulder. "So, I take it you gave up on your demon side? I don't feel any aura coming from you anymore. I didn't think about that until now."

"I don't just want to leave something like that without reason. Good luck."

"Take care. And one more thing..." He reached into his pocket and took and threw the object to the redhead. "You might need that."

"What is it?"

"I can't open it. I think it's a pocketwatch or something. I found it laying around and… You'll need it at one point, I'm sure. You can keep the coat too. I almost forgot about that. You'll probably need that for the ride home. Once again, I bid you adieu."

About five minutes passed and Hiei crouched next to Kurama after letting out a loud, "Oh!" of surprise. He glanced at Kurama and then back at the grave. They sat together in silence for a few minutes before Hiei broke the silence.

"You know... There are times when you should give yourself the permission to cry. I think now would be that time," Hiei whispered to Kurama. He got no answer. "Hey..."

"Let's not say anything. Just don't, Hiei." Kurama buried his face in his hands.

"I'm taking you home. You have everything you need packed up?"

"Whose home? Mine or yours?"

"Do you really have to ask? I can tell already that you just want to tell me to go to hell so I'll save you the trouble and won't come near you until you want to see me again. If that's even within either of our lifetimes. Just look at me." Kurama sighed. "Seriously! Look."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? Are you some great philosopher or something? If you're talking to someone you should at least look at them or pretend to and fool the person you're talking to that you are. And when you think about it, did we ever look at each other?"

"Three years and you already see how messed up both of us are. And I doubt you ever realized just how one sided everything was with her. What was any of this anyway?"

"Screwed up as the rest of the world is. Too bad though... You know... Having taken everyone's crap for so long and not going completely nuts, I think I kind of respect her."

"I don't think 'Kind of' does her justice. And you should give her more credit. I would think you have more pain welling in you. I mean… You… You…"

"…I killed her."

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Don't act like you weren't. I know that's what you were thinking. And hell, I did just send her over here. If I wasn't the jack ass I was then none of this would have happened. I bet she would have been happier without ever seeing any of us. But… She never really was happy. Not when she was alone, and I think she was even worse after I just waltzed right over."

"Hiei…"

"No, I have to say this. It's her grave and I should at least just make peace with her right here. She might not be dead, she might be out there actually getting to live for once. But this is still her grave, dammit I just shoved my way over and forced myself into her life and kept shoving and shoving. Apparently after she met me, she started drinking more than she ever did. Hell, she might have spent more time wasted when we together."

"No… She really did like the company. It was just that you were involved with two people that upset her. And we both know that she really did love you. She never said it. She never acted like it but she really did. And she just really wished that you just loved her as much as she did you."

"You think so?"

"…Let's just go back to America."

"You look pale."

"Haven't slept or eaten much all week. I just feel wound up all day and I don't have much of an appetite anymore. Not that I ate much to begin with." Silence. "When's the next ride to America?"

"I think tomorrow."

"Well, then. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Kurama walked away.

Hiei stared back at the grave and gave it a wry smile. Feel like a fool left in the rain. I should go too. This place is giving me the creeps and I'm normally not the guy that crosses his fingers as he goes by a cemetery. Maybe it's just knowing this is a damn empty grave. I really wish she died. I don't want her out there running around there all crazy. It's one of those things that's worse than death.

"Hey!" Hiei looked up and turned in the direction the voice came from. He raised an eyebrow when he saw it was Shura.

"What do you want?" Hiei asked

"Well, I have something to give you. But you can't tell anyone that I gave it to you and you can't tell anyone until 1865."

"Okay... But what is it?" He started to lift the lid but Shura slammed the lid.

"Don't open it! You can't open it and neither can anyone else for that matter. I even made sure that I forgot what's in there so you can't force it out of me."

How can you make yourself forget something...? "But when 1865?"

"That's thirteen years from now and Mao told me that that's the end of chaos for you. Actually, it's more of Kurama's time of peace. But the fate's basically twisted together." He nodded to himself confidently as if he just revealed all of man's unanswered questions.

"So what's the point of giving this to me? Is it a time whatever-you-call-it? And why can't I open it?"

"It's not finished." Shura suddenly gave a look of realization. "I have to go. Oh and when in doubt you should always write everything down and send it to someone so they can deal with your crap. And then you should always look towards the sun. I really have to go!"

Hiei started to lift the lid.

"And don't open it or a rainbow's going to crap a dead baby full of burning oil and it'll get all over you and..."

"Okay! I get it! I won't open the goddamn thing! Shit!" Stupid kid.

-.-.-

"This is it?" Hiei asked as they stood in front of the door. He raised his hand to knock on the door though still waiting for an answer. "Is it?"

"Yeah. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you about that box..." Kurama replied dryly.

"I know as much as you do." He sighed and stepped back from the door. "You knock. Or don't you have a key at least." When he got no answer. "...You know, I never saw your mother. After all that fighting with Sensui to prove your innocence so she won't die, I've never seen her. But I guess I should kinda consider that a good thing. So just knock and she won't have to know I was ever here. People don't just disappear when there's new people that see them. You know what I mean? So if I want to erase myself all together the right way I won't let her know that I was here. Just knock. And don't tell her that there was some guy named Hiei with you and he never was with you and he never knew you. That guy you met in Mexico was just one of the hundreds of faceless, unnamed Mexicans that should have died back in '48. He could have been Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna for all you cared. Don't write. That address on that letter doesn't exist anymore. So don't even bother. Just don't."

Kurama finally stepped forward and knocked on the door. He couldn't hear Hiei's footsteps but he was aware that he was already on his way home. He knocked again but for some reason he couldn't stop even after he heard the barely recognizable voice calling, "I'm coming! I'm coming!" Just as the door swung open, he felt two tears escape his eyes.

"Shuichi, you're home! Oh, you look ill..." Shiori put on a hand on his forehead. "Do you have a fever...?"

Kurama embraced her and all the tears rushed out.

"Shuichi...?"

After the first week spend only in bed, the words "How do you feel" and "How was...today?" had lost all its meaning. Kurama started to notice that he was eating less. He used to eat five times a day (though they still were pretty small meals) but he was lucky to even finish two and he wasn't sleeping as well as he used to.

"I think I'm going back to Mexico. I think I've stayed here too long but I'll remember to write," Kurama finally declared at dinner. "And I'll come back when I can. I have some business to take care of there."

No one could think of anything to say to that. He understood but he left without saying anything more.

Mother... Have I grown to be the good boy you wanted me to be? Am I a man or am I just being a fool? Mother... I'm sorry that I've been selfish. I think maybe it's time I disappear too... I'm sorry.

-.-.-

"Well, God speed then. I don't think your heart's really in this disappearing business. I don't think a man can disappear no matter how hard they try. You can go somewhere where no one knows your name but that doesn't erase you from history. If you're disappearing you have to be erased. You can't control the past. That's like saying Freedom is slavery. It just doesn't make sense. I think you just have to admit this whole Mukuro thing screwed us all up. But Yomi still says they haven't found her anywhere yet. That's still hopeful, right?" Koenma asked.

"They assume her dead. If anyone's figured out the right way to disappear it's her. She could've gone back to France for all we know. Or whatever the hell she was supposed to be. She could've gone to Demon World or something," Hiei replied. "And I would have thought that you would think death would be the better way for this to end."

"You know she can't. She couldn't pass through my barrier. If she really wanted to go she'd have to do a whole lot of nothing. But I think that still would do nothing for her."

"She's smarter than we think she is. She could've found some way in somehow. If she can pretend to be that sick in London then she sure as hell can disappear."

"That's true. Let's just leave that in the past. If it's meant to be figured out, it will. ...So where do you plan on going?" Koenma kept eying the box that was sitting on the bed. It took every sort of restrain to keep him from asking about it.

"How is it disappearing if anyone knows where I am?"

"Okay. I won't ask. If we ever see each other again... Do you want me to tell Yukina about you? She's been asking me for help finding her brother and I know it's you. I don't want to keep lying to her. It just feels wrong."

"I never intended to tell her. She doesn't know who the hell I am and that's fine. I don't want her to ever find out that her brother's a murderer."

"It was never proven. It was only assumed. But we can't prove it wasn't you. It's been so many years now. And they do say that dead men tell no tales. And you know that's why she got into law enforcement of all things, right? The case fascinated her and… Forget it."

"Forget it and forget me. I'll just be dust in the wind."

"Well... Find your peace somewhere and stay there unless you still need to fill this empty space or whatever you want to call it. If you stay, I might find you but it's not a given. Take care of yourself." Koenma left.

Hiei sighed and walked into his bedroom. That's that. Well, it's time to... There was a knock at the door. What, did he screw up his dramatic exit by forgetting something? "It's open!" There was another knock. "It's open!" The knocking continued. "Didn't you hear me?"

He heard the door creak and the shuffle of uneasy feet coming down the hall.

"Hiei?"

Hiei turned around to see Kurama. "Oh. It's you. I thought you were staying in California."

"I was bringing your shirt back. It doesn't smell right anymore."

"Wait, you actually took it? And you sniffed it? That's kind of gross. I really didn't think you were serious when you told me that you did that."

"It was fun when I took it. You still want it. You said I can keep it."

"You remember everything I say, don't you?"

"Sadly yes."

"Just leave it on the floor somewhere. I guess it'll start smelling right if you do that..."

"It's been since December, hasn't it?"

"Goddammit, Kurama. How the hell am I supposed to disappear if you're here?"

"What's the point of disappearing anyway? Why do you want to?"

"You don't need me anymore. That's all. After Sensui was all taken care of, you didn't need me anymore."

"You're... You don't make sense."

"I'm not meant to. None of are."

"You know, I never thanked you for everything really."

"Oh yeah? I didn't deserve it. What was this everything you're talking about? All I did for you was... Well, I didn't do anything for you. I was just angry and I still am. And I don't know why."

"I could cry..." Kurama dropped himself into a chair with his face in his hands

"You should just let yourself cry. Who's stopping you anymore? I know that you've got plenty of things to cry about. You really should just let it all go." Silence. "Is this the part where I tell you, 'Welcome home'?"

And the wind replied in its nonchalant way, "I don't know. I don't know."

-.-.-

January 1853

"Oh, Kazuma! You're back!" Yukina rushed to Kuwabara and hugged him, causing him to blush.

"Um, wow... Yukina..." was all he managed to force out of himself.

"I was so worried because I forgot that you said you were going to England. But I'm so glad you're okay. You sister told me it was a really dangerous situation so I prayed five times a day for you all."

"I'm glad."

"If I knew you were coming sooner I would planned a party for you. Oh but then Valentine's Day is coming too... I think we could have a banquet that day and invite Mr. Hiei, Mr Kurama and Mr Yusuke and that doctor and his son and that woman that we met on Christmas too. (But I do feel bad that I can't remember their names.) And we can have another one for spring and we can meet out at my friend Genkai's home and see the sights in Mexico. Wouldn't that be great?"

"Yeah..." Only the future's not that bright. One dead and the other two going who knows where. Is there such a thing of having a perfect moment right now?

"Kazuma, you don't look good..."

"Did you ever find your brother?"

"No, but I will someday. I think he's out there waiting for me to find him. To tell you the truth, I was feeling sad and thought I would never find him when I was captured by that mayor. But when you all saved me, I realized how great the world is and hopeful it is. I'm so happy I met you."

Kids can dream so why can't we?

-.-.-

Same month, same year.

"Hey, old man. Looks like it's just you and me now. Mukuro's doing her own thing again, so I'll just have to make sure you're still good here..." Yusuke brushed the snow off Raizen's grave. Let's see everything started happening in '49. It's '53 now. Been four years. Didn't I say I was coming back to Mexico this year? I don't think I thought about it. I wonder if Keiko's happy right now and if she found Mr. Prissy-boy A.K.A. Prince Charming.

"So this is Boston..."

Yusuke twisted around to see Keiko standing behind him, hands on her hips. "Keiko, how did you...?"

"I looked around in New York. Someone told me you left with some Raizen who lives here in Boston. It took me a long time to find you..."

"Why'd you look for me...?"

"What, you think going away to New York and not sending me a letter isn't going to make me worried? I know I told you that I hated how you're too strange but I think maybe that's all I really need. I guess."

"Who told you to look for me?" More of a statement than a question.

"No one. I just wanted to make sure you were still in one piece. I heard everybody's getting rowdy there. New York I mean. It was a lot of trouble going out and finding you. I had to tell people that I had brother I was looking for so I wouldn't look strange walking alone/ So... Care to show me around or are you just going to leave me out here in the snow?"

Yusuke glanced back at the grave and then jumped to his feet. Well, there's always forgiveness isn't there?

Although things can shatter it doesn't mean that they can't be fixed...

End chapter 61
End part 2

Notes:
1. Don Quixote de la Mancha- I didn't get much of the story but it's something about a guy that read too many books so he thinks he's a knight. The whole thing is like the equivalent of Shakespear to English speakers. So says my Spanish teacher. (But she also said in Mexico they don't use "we' either.)
2. Genkai is still around. We all forgot she was here. Sorry, Genkai. You were so awesome even if you had no role.

Gah! It's slow but it's long.

Interview again!
Why did you day that you refuse to write accents yet you put in a southern accent? In fact, you do realize your Japanese was all wrong? I realized the first one last week. I guess I can't do a good accent if I'm aware I'm doing it. As for number two, my sister told me that one. I'll fix it one day.
Isn't homosexuality illegal in this time? In England it was illegal until 1967. I don't know about America. That's why this fanfic is so messed up. If I think things through it might be right but you have someone who goes with what she thinks she knows.
What's the point of having Yusuke and Kuwabara? I thought in the beginning it was going to be an action fic but it wasn't. Sorry Togashi and Funimation. But you don't know this exists.

Hey, this is me in 2010. I was about thirteen when I put pen to paper and started writing this. It's been five or six years then! And I know that this is crap. I went and decided this should just end here. There are some questions I created and I don't know the answers to them anymore. I really just wanted to give this the ending it deserved. On a somewhat related note, I actually went through about three different endings as I wrote this. One was Kurama and Hiei just separating and then they get together later on. Another, same thing except Kurama finds out that Hiei's married to Mukuro and they have kids. Last one was where I was working towards originally in which Hiei dies from some disease, Shura kills himself for some reason, Yomi kills himself because Shura kills himself, Mitarai's blinded for some reason, and then the other three are all battle torn. Someone who gets to this chapter long after this is published will not know what I mean by any of this. XD
I'm planning on going back and fixing all my errors sometime in the future. I don't know if any of you are planning on sticking around for that or if you wanna forget all about this. But those of you who waited, I'm sorry. I really am so sorry that I put you through this. Thanks for reading. I left my notes here in tact just because of nostalgia. I might meet you again, who knows. but thanks. And again, I'm sorry.