My Fatal Reality
About the story – Yea, I don't know why, but somehow I found myself writing a new fiction about Kingdom Hearts. The pairings are RikuxSora ?xSora, and many more. So if you don't like shounen-ai/yaoi, please don't read any further. Bad grammar, angst, Sora- torturing, angst, dark themes, angst and of course, boy loving another boy Oh yeah, and did I mention angst? This was first supposed to be DNAngel fic... But… I feel like writing KH stuff ;P
Oh yeah, also mild Kairi-bashing.
Disclaimer – I do not own Kingdom Hearts.
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Prologue
There he was again, sitting in his corner, his emotionless eyes staring at the blank wall. His world was surrounded with emptiness and despair. Our reality wasn't his reality anymore. His universe was created by himself, as he tried to smother the pain scorching in his heart.
He reached his hand out to touch the cold surface of the wall. He smiled to the shadow, which slowly parted from the wall and tied its arms around his body. The Shadow buried his head to his spiky brown hair, while sharing the coldness of its body with the boy. The Shadow made him feel loved, and tear himself even farther away from which is right.
"Don't worry Sora…" The Shadow whispered into its replica's ear, "…I'll always be here… You're not alone."
Sora smiled faintly, and returned the hug. Despite the coldness of the embrace, he felt that he belonged somewhere. He didn't feel alone. He knew that his shadow would follow him, wherever he'd go.
"I'm… not alone."
The shadow smiled and held its light even closer to its chest, "That's right. Don't be afraid. Let me be your Darkness. Let me be with you, only you."
"I… I love you." Sora mumbled quietly, and closed his bright blue eyes. The Shadow placed a gentle, yet cold kiss on the brunette's forehead. Sora looked up into those yellow eyes, "Why your touch is so cold?"
"Because…" The Shadow said quietly, running his fingertips on Sora's silky cheek, "…Your touch is simply too warm…"
"Promise you'll always be with me." Sora inhaled deep breath of the cold scent of the Shadow, which leaned downer towards Sora's lips and whispering a silent reply, his lips nearly touching Sora's.
"I promise."
(A/N: I know I keep calling the Shadow 'it', because it's not really human or animal or anything of the sort…)
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Chapter 01 – Icy Love
Cold morning sunlight shone through parted curtains, hitting roughly against Sora's face. The alarm clock rang, and he absently slammed it, to quiet it down. He didn't want to wake up yet. He wasn't ready to face the tomorrow yet. No, not yet… "…Only ten more minutes…"
But slowly he got out of the bed, yawning widely and stretching his arms. "Good morning Luca." He smiled to his brown and ragged teddy bear, before grabbing it from the bed and walking to a closet with it.
"It's a beautiful day today… I wonder what I should wear…" Sora said as he searched through his clothes, trying to find something decent to wear. He placed his teddy bear sit on the floor, as he kept looking for clothes.
After a while, he had found grey jeans and baby blue shirt, which fit perfectly with his eyes, and a loose white hooded jacket. He stared at them for a while, before turning his head towards Luca.
"What do you say?" Sora asked his teddy bear, "Should I wear these?" He looked at Luca, who nodded his head. He smiled and dressed up quickly.
He looked around his large room, and searched his schoolbook with his gaze. He collected all of them into his bag and lifted Luca from the floor, "Oh, nearly forgot to brush my teeth! Thank you of reminding me Luca!"
Sora ran to his own little bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush. As he was brushing his teeth, he looked up at the mirror, his reflection staring right back at him. Everyone else said that Sora's eyes looked hollow and distant… But to him, they were just the same as they used to. Nothing had ever changed through all these years of pain and loneliness.
Nothing ever changed to the better direction. There's no fairness in this world.
He frowned at his reflection, before throwing his toothbrush away and exiting the bathroom and his bedroom. The house he was living in was bigger than needed, and Sora had more money than any of his classmates together. He could get anything he wanted, yet… There was something missing.
He sighed, as he walked down a long corridor, past millions of empty and useless rooms, towards the stairs, which led to the downstairs.
"I wonder if I will see dad today…" Sora said to Luca, and held the bear closer to his chest.
Sora and his father never had had a good relationship, ever since mother left them. Sora nearly never saw his father, and when he saw him, he never talked to him. Like he had been merely air, he walked past him, not even looking at his son. It was like Sora was a little piece of dirt, which easily wiped away.
"He has his reasons to hate me…" The brunette sighed, while walking down the stairs, made of marble, "…But I'll make him proud! I'll make him notice me! Someday… He wants me to be his son! Yeah!"
He giggled as he walked into a large dinner hall, where his breakfast was already waiting on the table. There was many servants living in the house, but they were always too busy with their work to talk with Sora. Not that he needed any of their company… Sometimes being alone is better than surrounded by friends and people who cared about you…
He sat by the table and looked at his meal. He shook his head and looked at Luca, "I'm not hungry… Do you wanna eat some before we head to the school, Luca?… Oh… I guess you aren't hungry either…"
Sora looked at his wrist watch and gasped, "Oh no! We're running late!" He said and jumped to his feet, yanking Luca after him.
"Ah, sir Sora!" One of the servants yelled from the kitchen door, and ran to Sora the fastest she could with her heel shoes, "Don't forget your lunch! I made some for Luca too!"
Sora smiled widely, and took a package from the brown-haired woman, "Thank you Aerith!"
"Hehe, you're welcome. Have fun at the school…" Aerith said, and leaned down to straighten Sora's shirt, "…There. Yeah, so like I said- have fun at the school and take good care of yourself and Luca."
Sora nodded his head, before turning around and walking towards the front door.
Aerith watched Sora push open the large wooden doors, and disappear into the cold autumn morning. She shook her head weakly and turned around, "I'm sorry Sora."
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Sora walked through the large gates, towards his school. Or more like, his Hell. He clutched Luca tighter to his chest, as he gathered the courage and strength to keep on walking, facing all of the despising glares and cruel words. Although he had vowed himself to never let those things pass through his barriers, sometimes there was just no antidote against the poisonous words.
The barriers were never strong enough. But still, his best protection was his smile, which never left his features.
"Hey, did you hear that there's new student coming to our class today?"
Sora turned to the direction of the voice and saw a brunette girl talking to her friends. The girl was Kairi. The most popular girl in the school, she always surrounded by her friends and her millions of boyfriends.
"Really? Why no one ever told us anything?" One of her friends chimed in. Kairi shrugged her shoulders and put her hands to her hips, giving her best smile to the ones who surrounded her.
"But I heard the new student is a boy. I hope a really good-looking too." She said, "I really need a new boyfriend… Axel's starting to get on my nerves… He's like daa!"
Sora bowed his head, before walking away. He and Axel used to be friends. But… times change. And so does the people. Even if you didn't want to, you can't stop the world changing you. The innocence will fade, leaving only pain and suffering.
"Oh, look who's there!" One of the Kairi's friends said. Sora could feel burning gazes on his back, as he tried to walk away the fastest he could.
"He's a freak… always carrying that ugly teddy bear with him… like, how old is he again?"
"That's right… And look at his clothes, I bet he's trying to be soooo cool today. Too bad those clothes were cool when my grandma was younger."
Kairi snickered, "No wonder he has no friends… Who'd ever want to befriend with someone like him." She snorted and started walking away, all of her friends following her.
Something painful filled Sora's heart. He looked down at the ground, his hands slowly dropping to his sides, his left hand holding Luca's hand tightly. No matter how many times he heard those same things, they always found a way to hurt him. Hearing the truth from other people mouths was just something he had never learned to tolerate.
Luca gave Sora concerned look, and the brunette shook his head, quickly wiping the tears, which were about to make their way down his cheek, "I'm okay Luca. Don't worry about me. I've learned to ignore them a long time ago."
He started walking towards the school building.
Remember to smile Sora.
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"I can do it. I'm the best, and will probably be the sexiest guy in the school. So there's no need to panic…" A silver-haired man mumbled, as he played with his hair nervously, and stared out of a window of the car he was sitting in.
"Are you nervous?"
Riku looked at the other silver-haired man, who was sitting next to him, "Me? Never! I thought you knew me better than that Zexion… You are my brother after all."
Zexion rolled his eyes and kept his eyes locked on the road.
"Hmph. I'm never nervous." Riku said and folded his arms.
"But you are now."
"Am not."
"Are too. Hey- it's okay to be nervous. It's your first day at a new school." Zexion said as he braked next to a pavement, waiting for Riku to get out of the car, "Just remember to breathe and act cool. Girls will be all over you. Trust me."
Riku mumbled something, which sounded like 'yeah right', as he exited the car and slammed the door close with huge force. Zexion grinned and winked to his little brother, before driving away, leaving the annoyed Riku stand on the sidewalk.
"Damn Zexion… always talking as if he knows everything…" He growled, before turning around on his heels and eyeing his new school. It wasn't as bad as he had thought. Some girls walked past him and eyeing him from head to toe and giggling quietly. The silver-haired teen chuckled and started to walk the school, but not before giving the girls a sexy wink and making them all blush and giggle even more.
Girls these days… He rolled his aqua-colored eyes. He thought that girls here would be even a little bit more interesting but noooo… they all were the same. Wearing those innocent smiles, only to hide those nasty and evil thoughts they were thinking.
He sighed, as he walked across the schoolyard, which was already empty. He was probably already late from his first class, but he didn't care. He could always tell them that he got lost.
When he entered the hall, he really felt like he was lost already. There were too many corridors and too many classrooms… He had no clue where to head next, "…Maybe I should find the principal's office first…"
He started to walk up the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the empty stairway. It was pretty obvious that this school was the school for the rich kiddies.
Eventually, Riku reached the end of the stairs, and the only way now was forward. He glanced at the doors, as he walked past them. Finally his eyes caught a small 'Principal's office' sign on one of the doors.
But before he could even knock on the door, it slammed open, revealing a young woman with black hair and blue jacket, which reached to her ankles. She stared at the silver-haired teen for a while, before smiling widely and clapping her hands, "Ohh, you're Riku, aren't you?"
"Yes ma'am…" Riku said, and frowned slightly.
"Hehe, thought so too! I'm Rinoa Heartily, this school's principal!" Rinoa giggled, like a high-school girl, holding her hand in front of her mouth, "Come in, come in, dear! I'll give you your timetable and other stuff!"
Rinoa jumped back into her office, followed by confused Riku.
Ten minutes later Riku stepped out of the principal's office, even more confused than he already were. He looked at his timetable and scratching his head absently.
"Oh yeah!" Rinoa opened the door and pointed towards the stairs, "Your first class is at the second floor, and the fifth door from the left! If you have anything you want to ask, you know that you'll always find me here, dear."
Riku nodded and grinned to the principal, "I'll be okay. Thank you."
"It's no problem!" Rinoa said, and disappeared back into her office.
Riku sighed and started to head towards the stairs. This was going to be the longest day of his life…
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In the class, Sora sat in his usual spot, in the back of the class and near the corner. No one ever sat near him. Maybe it was a good thing… There was no one to give him negative feedback about his work or his appearance…
He watched his classmates, who all were talking to their friends, laughing, smiling… Sora looked down at Luca, which was sitting in his lap. He smiled and hugged his teddy bear.
Soon the class quieted down, when the teacher entered the room. Everyone settled down slowly, and finally it was quiet in the classroom.
The teacher hmph-ed and folded his arms, "As some of you might have already heard, there will be a new student coming to your class. I think he should be here every moment now…"
Kairi smiled widely and leaned towards her friend, to whisper something into her ear. They both turned to look at Sora, before snickering quietly and turning their attention back towards the teacher.
Sora sighed and tried his best to ignore the nasty looks. Why they just couldn't leave him be? He leaned his head on the surface of his desk and closed his eyes. The world around him started to fade as he slowly fell even deeper and deeper into his own thoughts…. His own world, where there was no pain, no loneliness… there was… nothing.
But the world filled, which with emptiness was better than the one, which was filled with endless misery and agony.
There was a loud knock on the door. The teacher walked to the door and opened it, smiling widely to the silver-haired teen.
Sora slowly lifted his head from the table, only to see the silver-haired angel walk into the classroom. His eyes widened, and his heart skipped beats. Quickly, he looked away from the silver-haired boy, who so gracefully walked in front of the class, the most perfect smile plastered on his lips.
"Now, Riku. Why don't you introduce yourself?" The teacher said, and leaned his back on the wall. Riku nodded his head and turned his head towards the class.
"Heya all. So my name is Riku. I moved here from… well, let's just say, far away. And I…" Riku let his gaze wander around the class, until he saw a brunette boy, sitting in the back of the class, his bright blue eyes staring at his lap. He gulped, trying to find his voice again, "…And I… I'm just me."
Kairi gasped loudly and covered her reddening cheeks with her hands, "Ohmigod… he's like sooo hot…" She said to her friends quietly, "I'll definitely ask him to go out with me…"
But Riku wasn't interested in the girls in the first row. He couldn't stop staring that shy spiky brown-haired boy.
Sora slowly lifted his head, to look back at Riku. He was surprised when those mysterious aqua-eyes were staring right back at him. He blinked and felt his cheeks burn. What was this weird feeling, which suddenly overwhelmed him? This was something… something that he had never before experienced.
The silver-haired teen smiled to the other one's reaction, and winked to Sora, before turning his head towards the teacher, "…So that pretty much sums it up."
The teacher nodded and walked towards Riku, offering his hand, "I'm Marluxia, your history teacher."
Riku took the history teacher's hand and shook it.
"You may sit wherever you want." Marluxia said and flung his hand towards the class absently, while making his way to his desk. Riku nodded and looked at Sora, who was now again leaning his forehead to the desk.
"You can sit next to me!" Kairi stood up and raised her hand, smiling the sweetest smile she could create on her lips. Riku glanced the brunette boy for the last time, before sitting next to the hyper girl, who kept smiling widely, "Hi, my name is Kairi!"
"It's… nice to meet you… I guess." Riku said rolling his eyes, and folding his arms above his chest. This girl was insane… already head over heals in love with him…
Sora looked at Riku's back, frowning deeply. He didn't know why, but seeing Riku there, sitting next to Kairi, made him feel… weird. He didn't know how to describe the stinging feeling in his heart, as he stared at the silver-haired perfection.
He pouted slightly, and looked at Luca, "This feeling is weird… I don't know what should I call it… it's not loneliness, pain or misery… It's something… new…"
Riku groaned, as Kairi kept talking about everything and anything. He regretted sitting next to the brunette girl… And he knew that he'd never ever do that mistake again. He looked over his shoulder at the brunette boy, and saw a small teddy bear sitting in his lap. He lifted his eyebrow and turned back to Kairi.
"Hey, Kai… Who's that?" Riku pointed Sora with his finger, "That brown-haired boy over there."
Kairi snorted and shrugged, "Ahh, he's Sora… A total freak. Always carrying that ugly bear with him. No one likes him… I recommend you to stay away from him too. I've heard that he's really… weird. He sometimes talks to his teddy bear too… that's like really childish, don't you think? Sometimes I just can't stand him… He's so timid and such!"
The silver-haired man frowned. Those were… pretty harsh words. He turned to look back at Sora, a small smile on his lips. Kairi also tilted his head towards the brunette, and snorted loudly, "Honestly Riku, if I were you I wouldn't even look at his direction."
"Kairi." Riku stated simply, his tone somewhat dangerous, "If I were you I'd shut that cute little mouth at this very moment."
The girl opened and closed her mouth, before hmph-ing and turning around, now trying to focus on the lesson. Her eyes were locked on the teacher, yet her mind was completely somewhere else. Twisted ideas and cruel plans ran through his mind, as he tried to come up with a new way to Riku to notice her.
Riku leaned his head on his palms, and started to listen the history teacher's endless rambling about the Second World War. Not that he really cared, but it was better than talk with Kairi. He just… didn't like her. Her attitude and appearance made him feel funny, and doubt if the girl really was as pure and innocent as she tried to claim she is.
Sora smiled faintly, and was now leaning his cheek on his desk. His hollow eyes were staring at the wall, at his shadow. It looked back at him, and smiled widely.
"Don't worry Sora. I'll always be with you." The shadow whispered before vanishing. Sora sighed and nodded his head. He wasn't alone, as long as his shadow kept following him. Even if the touch of the shadow was so cold, and the words hit his skin like ice daggers, he didn't care. As long as there was someone, or something, comforting him when he was feeling down.
He couldn't forget that night he had first met the Shadow. It wasn't too long ago… even if it felt like years. The days passed Sora so slowly. Yet still, he had sometimes problems to hold onto them. Sometimes, letting go just seemed so much easier.
And even if Shadow wasn't there, he always had had Luca. Sora looked down at the ragged teddy bear and smiled sweetly, "You and Shadow are my best friends ever… I don't need anyone else, as long as you stay by my side."
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The school bell rang finally, marking the beginning of lunch break. Everyone dashed out of the classrooms, to meet their friends and eat the lunch.
Sora walked to the schoolyard, towards his secret spot, where he usually eats his lunch. It was a place, where he could avoid those despising glares. As he reached the place, he placed Luca on the ground and sat next to the bear, opening his bag and trying to find the lunch box.
"I'm sure I put it here…" He mumbled as he kept searching, but found nothing. He bit his lip and frowned thoughtfully, "…Aerith gave it to me and I swear I put it to my bag… Did you eat my lunch, Luca?"
But the bear hasn't eaten his lunch. Sora pouted and folded his arms, "I'm so hungry too… My stomach is growling…" He poked his stomach, which let out a faint growl.
He lied on his back on the grass and looked at the sun, which shone beautifully in the sky, bordered by pure white clouds. Few stray birds flew through the azure blue sky. Sora sighed and raised his hand in the air, like reaching out for the skies.
He stood up and stared at a tree in front of him. A wild idea came into his mind and he started climbing it, Luca on top of his head. He sat on a large bough, placing the brown teddy next to him. How many times he had sit there, and just stared at the sun? He couldn't tell, but this time it felt different. Usually he was happy that only Luca was sitting next to him… but this time it felt like something's missing.
The brunette boy shook his head and hugged his teddy bear, "I love only the Shadow and you… but then again… I don't know what is love. I don't know what it really feels like to be in love…"
He leaned his head on the tree and closed his eyes, still holding Luca close to his chest.
Maybe someday… I'll understand.
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A/N: Review if you wanna read more. :P