Chapter 2: In which an act is decided upon

A/N: Ok… Chapter 2 is here! I am soooo sorry I didn't update! I was in Germany for four days… and I have exams tomorrow so I had to study. That's why this chapter is, unfortunately, so short. THANK YOU to all the ABSOLUTLEY WONDERFUL people who reviewed! You are all FABOO!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters yada yada yada (Ooooo… was THAT clever? Somehow I doubt it…)

Fowl Manor, at the head of the Dining Room table-

Artemis knew he was on thin ice, so he played his game lightly. "So you're here to wipe my memories?" he asked calmly, already guessing their reply.

"Not just yet." Said Root, "We want to know what you did to get your memories back first." Artemis treated himself to a barely perceptible grin. Foaly, unfortunately, had an eye for such things.

"What are you smirking about Artemis?" he asked. Artemis blinked and he gave Foaly a wide-eyed stare, though he made it obvious he wasn't even trying to conceal his satisfaction.

"Let me tell you a little story," said Artemis, "Once upon a time, Angeline Fowl decided to give a little brunch. All was planned, but soon Mrs. Fowl noticed that she had no entertainers. She asked her son, Artemis, to procure some form of droll actors, and finally decided that some sort of magic act involving short people would appeal most to her fancy. Her son dug around, and though he failed to locate the performers he wanted, he did find some rather interesting information that triggered a few memories…" Artemis smiled; lying was too easy sometimes. Then he applied a small, slightly threatening finish: "If his visitors were to act in his mother's brunch, Artemis need never go searching for any form of fairy or magically inclined actor again, don't you think?"

Fowl Manor, at the foot of the Dining Room table-

At the end of Artemis's little 'story' Holly was indignant. He couldn't treat the People this way! Well, he could but he shouldn't. She glanced at Root, and then asked, "Can we have a small conference Fowl?"

"By all means." Said Artemis. They waited. He didn't move.

"In private?" growled Commander Root, obviously at the end of his patience.

"But of course! Why didn't you ask?" asked Artemis before leaving, smirking all the way. Holly ground her teeth together.

The minute Artemis had gone out the door, Root jumped out of his seat. "I am not doing a jester act for that Mudboy's amusement!" he bellowed.

Foaly grinned. "But Commander! It would be so fun!"

As Root's face changed from a light crimson to a deeper mauve, Holly interrupted, "Listen. Here are the problems with this besides a blow to our collective prides: First of all, Mud Men aren't supposed to see us, and performing an act under their nose is hardly what I would call discreet. Second, we need to ensure that nothing of the kind ever happens again. So Foaly, assuming we get over my first point, have you got anything that might help us deal with point two?"

Foaly considered. Then he said, "Our best shot would probably be to make Mrs. Fowl less appreciative of the People in general. In other words, we could just botch up the show. It would serve a dual purpose by helping us get back at Fowl."

Root nodded. "Okay, so we wait, we work and we wipe. Sounds good to me. He can hardly complain that we did a bad job! It's not as if we're professional actors. Bring Fowl back in Captain."

Artemis appeared before Holly could take a step towards the door. "So we agree?" he asked. "You do the act, then I get wiped." They all nodded apprehensively. It was almost too easy, especially from a Mud Boy like Artemis Fowl.

The Living Room, Fowl Manor-

Artemis sat in amused silence as Juliet showed the Holly, Root and Foaly their new costumes. They were a white, orange and red affair, garnished with purple ruffles and pompoms. All three were horrified, to say the least.

"You had better forbid picture taking Fowl!" Said Holly angrily.

"Why?" he asked, "Because of the costumes or because you don't want pictures of a centaur and two elves to be on the Internet?"

"Both." She growled. Juliet looked puzzled. Artemis turned his head to rearrange the flowers on the table.

"These are Mother's favourite kind of flowers?" he asked Juliet.

She gave him an uninterpretable look. After all, it wouldn't do for Juliet to be impudent towards her employers. "Of course I did Artemis!"

He smiled. "In that case, let the festivities begin!" The doorbell rang, right on cue. "Prepare yourselves actors and actress. We have a long day ahead of us, and we must ensure that nothing… problematic occurs." His smile turned into a grin and he made his way to the door.

A/N Very sorry this chapter's so short. Hope it pleases you all! One or two (slightly predictable) twists and turns ahead. I can only hope that you enjoyed, and that I didn't have too many unpardonable mistakes.

Notes to:

Moon Vampire: I'll read through! I promise! Thanks for the review!

Hollybridgetpeppermint: Thanks! I will try and pay more attention to my punctuation!

Kelitzo: Nope… not Jane Austen in disguise… Notice I don't mention 'composure' at all…

Brizo: Heh… this one's probably less detailed. Whoops . Sprank you for adding me to your alert list!

Inufan15: Hmm… maybe just because the idea of Artemis playing dumb is appealing- It would make him only a LITTLE more intelligent than the rest of us!

Ahem. Thank you ALL! Please R&R! I can't update for about… 2 weeks but PLEASE no flames!