When the Executor is attacked by the rebels Vader ends up escaping in a shuttle with three stormtroopers. In a freak accident the shuttle is pulled through a wormhole and the four find themselves in uncharted space. What follows are

THE FANTASTIC ADVENTURES OF VADER AND THE FEARLESS THREE!

AN:

Actually, I only have clone trooper figures, but close enough, right?

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THE FANTASTIC ADVENTURES OF VADER AND THE FEARLESS THREE

CHAPTER TWO

Vader was dreaming that he was standing in a bright green room while opposite him sat a long-haired girl reading a primitive databook.

Vader was surprised. His ordinary dreams tended to be horrific memories from the past, not visions of strange girls reading. Not that he minded, he added hastily in his mental wonderings (Fate is something of a bitch), he was just confused.

"Why am I here?" he addressed the universe in general. The girl looked up.

"Filler," she said simply. Vader was lost.

"Filler?"

She nodded.

"You gotta do something, and the 'flashback-to-Mustafa-or-similarly-disturbing-scene' thing is so overdone. Figured you'd like something a mite less traumatic."

"I see." He didn't, but replied out of courtesy.

"Doubt it," the girl said amiably. Suddenly she offered him a bunch of roses. Where did they come from? Vader wondered. She didn't have them a moment ago.

"Want a rose?"

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The three stormtroopers looked at the sleeping Dark Lord fondly. Vader mumbled in his sleep, but thanks to the vocoder it came out loud and clear.

"Roses."

"Aww," Bob cooed, "he's dreaming!"

"Cute" George agreed.

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"You're offering me roses?" Vader asked blankly, flummoxed. This dream was just getting weirder and weirder.

"Yeah," agreed the girl. "Pick one; a bud, half-opened or full-blown."

She held out the bouquet invitingly. Vader continued to stare, but after a moment pulled one of the half-opened roses from the many in her grasp.

The girl nodded and smiled as though pleased about something.

"Thanks," she told Vader. "Nice choice, by the way. Things should get interesting."

Before Vader could ask more, his mind drifted into a deeper sleep where only peaceful slumber lurked.

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Vader awoke to find himself lying with a blanket carefully tucked around him.

Damn stormtroopers, he thought. Shrugging off the blanket, Vader stood and walked out in search of the annoyances.

His three personnel were staring out the window at a large white-and-blue planet beyond.

"I say we should land," one of them said obstinately. Vader had clearly walked into the middle of an argument. "We can gather supplies here, and this place at least looks reasonably habitable."

Since he was stuck with the three of them, Vader decided to be marginally hospitable.

"Good morning."

Three helmeted heads swivelled as one.

"Morning, sir!" one stormtrooper said brightly. Vader frowned as he noticed the large 'B' drawn on his helmet in permanent marker.

The one with a 'G' on his helmet at once brought Vader into the conversation, before he had a chance to inquire as to why the stang they'd drawn letters on their heads. Honestly, they look ridiculous.

"Christian wants to land, sir," the stormtrooper informed him. Vader blinked.

"Christian?"

"Me, sir," said the one with the 'C' emblazoned on his helmet. "I'm Christian, this cretin's George – "

"Hey!"

"– and that's Bob."

"I am not a cretin!" George said indignantly. "You're the cretin. You want to land on an alien and possibly dangerous world that we don't know anything about, not me!"

As the argument began anew, Bob took the opportunity to bring Vader in on the situation without fear of interruption.

"I see," Vader observed once Bob was done. "Thank you …Bob?"

Inwardly shaking his head at the name – ignoring the fact that both Anakin and Vader are equally silly names – Vader turned to the still-arguing George and Christian.

"Stop arguing," he ordered. The two immediately turned to him, shocked.

"But sir! we're so good at it!" George protested.

"Exactly!" Christian agreed. "Why, we're so good at it, we think we might really be brothers!"

As one the two men removed their helmets.

"Can't you see the family resemblance?" the clones chorused, beaming identical smiles.

Vader closed his eyes and drew on the Force for patience. When he opened them again he noted with relief that they had replaced their helmets and were watching him contritely.

"Sorry, sir," Christian apologised. "We were just kidding. Have you come to a decision?"

Vader sighed.

"Yes. We land. Christian is correct; we need to gather supplies, and we do not know of any other planet that might harbour them."

"Uh, sir," Bob noted warily, "will we be able to escape the planet's orbit again once we've landed?"

Vader closed his eyes and sighed.

"Probably not. Bring us in anyway."