"I have tried so many times to read this fanfic only to give up because of the writing style. I persisted because the premise is very interesting, unique even. I know the earlier chapters were written over a decade ago but the more recent ones share many of the same issues. The journal format can work, but you really really really need to cut out most of the bits with the main character just hanging with her friends and how school was today and the instant message transcripts and when I say most of it I mean like 95% of it. Those parts are a trial to slog through. When those bits are included, they should be for the purpose of moving the plot. Perfect example is when she gets drunk - that scene could have served a purpose, like maybe she drunk dials Erik, maybe he escorts her home because of her inebriated state, it could go a few ways. But no. Nothing happens. Andddd with that said, you really need to move your plot. Taking the romance slow is fine. But your plot doesn't really grow legs until around chapter 16 and even then it's moving at a snails pace. The interactions with Erik is why most of us are here, so focus on that. Honestly I really wish this story could be completely rewritten with the above in mind. It has the potential to be really good."

Guest, thank you for your feedback, I suppose. However, I think we can both agree that you haven't been paying the best attention to what has been going on with regards to the process & my author's notes. Now, that's okay, I don't expect everyone to, but I think before commenting on what I should or shouldn't do with the story, it would have been better to be more informed. You mentioned "recent chapters" but you're reviewing chapter 28, which I assume is where you have stopped reading. This chapter is from 2008. The last chapter added on this site is from 2013. None of these is recent anymore, and in the last three years I already gathered my editor's circle, mulled over all that you mentioned in your review, moved all of my work to Livejournal, and plunged deep into a drastically reconstructed second draft. These issues have been addressed, if that is the true concern of your review, but since it doesn't seem you knew I was rewriting it at all, and because your review falls so far out of the window of time in which it would stand to reason I was still looking for constructive feedback, it feels more like you wrote this out of personal frustration. I could be wrong, and I appreciate that you feel it could be good, so I'm sorry that you have wasted time trudging through this draft, and perhaps it's partly my fault for letting it stay on this site for so long when it doesn't represent my writing any longer.

I don't know who else is still around - I don't use this site anymore - but for those who supported me back in the day: the second draft is taking forever, but plenty of it is written and it's going very well. It's different enough that what's here on F F . N E T is obsolete and needs to be deleted so there isn't any confusion. I really do believe it's terrible and cringe-worthy - in fact, I sporked the entire thing to help me with revisions. If there was something anyone wanted to save, please do it in the next couple weeks.

-J