It Was Never Uncomplicated
Summary: After the 6th season finale, Sookie's story from Say Something comes true. Lorelai comes back to Stars Hollow fifteen years later for a visit. Can she and Luke figure out how to get back what they once had? The story will include flashbacks of Luke and Lorelai throughout the first 6 seasons of Gilmore Girls as well as an explanation of why she left, why she didn't come back for fifteen years, and what their lives were like during those years. A few things about Sookie's story have been adjusted: forty years is now fifteen years and obviously Luke and Lorelai didn't break up in college.
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls belongs to ASP (well not anymore), Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, the WB and probably other people (including DR now?) but not me.
Notes: Yes I posted this once before and I took it down after an hour when I got stuck in the middle of the third chapter and wasn't sure I could go any further and I hate to post fics and not be able to finish them. It was under a different title at that time, She Never Got Her Middle. However, in the past few days I've become a writing maniac, so I'm ready to repost and post more soon. And I've re-edited and fixed up the first chapter so I think it's even better than it was before. And I changed the title because I really hated that title.
Yes, this probably seems like it's going to be a sad story. I think in total it's not sad, the concept is, but the actual story isn't that sad. I guess just read it and see what you think. I was just hoping to use this to help me remember all the great times of Luke and Lorelai and at the same time they would be remembering how great it once was too.
The flashbacks will be
in italics and most will be voices in Lorelai's head. I'm sure
you'll understand when you read them but if you can't figure out
where one is from, because a few are obscure, just ask.
Chapter One: Time, It Needs Time
I heard about this couple on one of those morning shows, similar to you guys, all lovey-dovey, perfect for each other, you know, headed for marriage and something happened and they broke up in their senior year of college, even though they were madly in love with each other. They moved to different parts of the country. They married different people. Oh, had kids, grandkids. Then their spouses died, oh and they were available again. And they talked and hooked up and now they're together and happily in love after forty years. Uh!
She hadn't seen him in years, not since the day she realized she couldn't take it anymore, living in the same town as him, and left.
As the years passed, she had married, had kids, but she never forgot him. He was at the back of her mind the day she met Larry O'Donnell. He was there the day she and Larry had their first date, the day she gave birth to her son, the day Larry proposed, on their wedding day and the day that her daughter was born. He was always on her mind, but she couldn't go back.
Larry was a great second choice. He was dependable and good. He was kind and gentle and appreciated her for her humor. He was a change for her, something different, a person who didn't know her past and really didn't feel the need to know. And he loved her, that much she knew.
Did she love him? That wasn't for certain.
But Rory loved him. She thought he was great and even moved out to California for a time just to be with them. And though she was now in DC, Lorelai knew that she missed her time with her stepfather and siblings.
Larry was even wonderful with their son and daughter, Nicolas and Lucy. He took time off of his job at the hospital to go to their school plays and graduations. He put damp towels on their heads when they were sick and took pictures before the spring formal. He disciplined them when they were bad and held them when they cried.
She knew that Larry was a good second choice. It seemed to be enough, until he passed away.
It was a cool fall day when she stepped back into Stars Hollow for the first time in fifteen years.
Everything seemed different and it made her heart ache with all she had missed. She was nervous, she knew it. Which was odd because she was Lorelai Gilmore, she was a woman of steel. She couldn't remember a moment in the past when she had ever felt like this, her heart beating so fast she felt it would just burst right in her chest.
What hadn't changed about Stars Hollow was the smallness of the town. She knew the moment she ran into Patty or walked into Weston's that instantly the town would know.
But Rory said she had to come. After fifteen years, Lorelai was finally ready to put her house up for sale and she had to make sure the sale went smoothly.
Why she had held onto the house for so long, she wasn't sure.
After all this time, she wasn't even sure why she had stayed away so long.
The town still seemed inviting as she walked though the center of town, her feet moving aimlessly. As she glanced around, she saw that though some things had changed, much was the same.
The bakery was still named Weston's and it had a sign in the window announcing the return of their 12 layer German chocolate cake that she and Rory had still never been able to cross off their list of accomplishments. Doose's Market was still named Doose's even though she knew Dean owned it now. And the diner, still with its two confusing signs over the doorway, was busy as ever.
But she couldn't go in there. Not yet. She wasn't ready. She didn't know how to be ready. She didn't know what to expect from him. Somehow after ten years of knowing him and two of loving him, she still couldn't be certain about him.
So she took a seat in the gazebo in the center of town, just watching and waiting. For what? She didn't know. But she knew she had to rest for a moment before doing what she had to do.
The town seems to spin around her as she sits on the bench in the gazebo, like that scene at the beginning of the Wizard of Oz. The only things that remain still are her and the bench and the gazebo.
Where are you going?
I know the perfect toasting place.
She could hear his footsteps behind her as she led him into the gazebo. Unconsciously, she stands up, the world still spinning around her. The only thing meaning anything to her right now is the gazebo. And it's as if she can see him standing there, facing her, smiling at her, as if they have their own personal secret.
Okay, I believe we were about there.
She can feel the liquid burning its way down her throat as well as she can feel her heart thump within her chest.
You're going to kiss me now? So incredibly predictable.
She lightly touches her lips with her fingers, trying to feel his against hers. Trying to remember that feeling, what it felt like once. Him holding her close to him and touching his lips to hers. Her heart fluttering and shivers traveling down her spine. Her head spinning with the idea that he was hers and she was his and that is how it would be for the rest of their lives. And she blushes, feeling warm all over suddenly.
"Excuse me, Ma'am, we're setting up for our leaf peeping festival, so do you mind not standing there?" she hears, startling her out of her reverie. And she knows that voice. She looks up at Kirk, who looks stunned for a moment.
"Hi Kirk," she says softly. He continues staring at her and she waits, letting him figure it out, remembering that sometimes it took Kirk a little while.
"Lorelai?" he asks, surprise in his voice. She smiles, pleased that he remembers
"In the living flesh," she responds.
"Wow, Lorelai." Kirk walks into the gazebo and gives her an awkward hug. She smiles, never having remembered a time that she had hugged Kirk. It feels odd, but nice. Like she was missed. "What are you doing back here?"
"Oh, I'm selling my house so I needed to make sure everything was fixed before I put it on the market," Lorelai explains.
"I think I had heard something about that," Kirk says.
"I hope so, everything needs to be approved by you now that Taylor's gone." Kirk looks down sadly. She touches his arm knowing that Taylor had been like a father it to him..
"I'm doing my best to be Taylor the second," Kirk says sadly.
"I've only heard the good things," Lorelai assures him.
"From who?"
"People," she answers vaguely. Kirk glances at the diner and her heart skips a beat to know that even now he's still the first person they associate with her. "Not him." Kirk nods. "How's Lulu?"
"She's good. Junior was named artist of the month in school," Kirk answers.
"Really?"
"Yeah, he made a papier-mâché model of me posing as the thinker." Lorelai grins.
"Oh," she responds, stifling a laugh. "Well that's creative."
"Are you here alone?" Kirk wonders.
"Hmmm?"
"Did your husband come?" Kirk motions down at the rings on her left hand. She glances down at them, biting her lip.
"No… Larry, he died."
She's still not sure how to explain it, the finality of her words still hitting her. She had once been at the center of town affairs, the one that volunteered to help out, the one to attend all town meetings, the one to know every townie by name and say hi to them on the street. Everyone had known her and she had known everyone. But now what could she say? She had lived an entire life away from this town. There were so many things about her now that the people of Stars Hollow didn't know. She's not even sure she's even the same person they once knew.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Kirk says, sympathetic in his own way.
"Yeah… it was a few months ago but I'm doing better now. The kids, Nicolas and Lucy, they were prepared, he was sick a long time," Lorelai responds.
"And how's Rory?" Kirk asks.
"Rory's good. She's really loving her job and being a mother. She loves it in DC. Doesn't she come back to visit?"
"Not me," Kirk replies sadly.
She smiles. She knows it's not true. Stars Hollow and everyone in it will always hold a special place in Rory's heart just as it has her own. But to her, it means something different than it does to her daughter. To Rory, its the place she grew up, where she met her best friend, where she had her first kiss. But to Lorelai, it's the only place she's ever home, it's the place where she grew up while raising her daughter, and it's the place where she had once hoped to live out her entire life. Deep down she knows that the life that she was meant to live went far beyond the eighteen years of motherhood to Rory, it was supposed to have been shared with Luke, it was supposed to have been filled with their children, it was supposed to have taken place in Stars Hollow.
"Oh, I'm sure she comes to see you too," Lorelai assures Kirk, who nods. He glances at the watch on his wrist.
"I'm sorry to do this Lorelai, but we really need to start setting up."
"Don't worry, I was just about to go. When's the festival?" she asks.
"The day after tomorrow, but we have to start setting up now or we'll never be ready. There's the Cider Mills parade into the square and then the festival at night." She nods, looking away, remembering a parade so many years ago.
"Well I'll go then. It was good seeing you Kirk."
"You too Lorelai." She waves at him and walks out of gazebo, forcing herself not to glance over her shoulder at the diner on her way out of town square. She's still not ready to look at what she's given up, what she's missed every day since stepping off the plane in California.
She arrives at her house within five minutes. Not her best time but far from her worst. She figures it was her need to get out of the center of town that got her home so fast.
Home. That's a funny word to call this place since she hadn't lived there in years.
But it is still home. It was the first place she had lived outside of her parents' house and the Independence Inn. It was the place that Rory had grown up and was the center of so many memories of her time in Stars Hollow. Its was the place she had searched for after finally gathering enough money for a mortgage. It was the place where she, along with Rory, had become an adult.
She sets her purse down on the couch, taking a look around at the place. Much of the furniture had been sold a long time ago when she couldn't face sitting on a couch that she and Luke had picked out. Some of her videos are still there, all the ones she had watched with Luke that she couldn't bring herself to have Rory send out to California. At that point in time, she had barely expected to ever have the urge to want to see these movies again. She hadn't seen Casablanca since that night during Rory's freshman year at Yale, she just couldn't bear it.
Stop doing that.
Shh, no talking.
Then stop doing that.
Doing what?
Looking at me.
Vain party, table for one.
You know what I mean. You're watching me watch the movie. It's creepy.
I enjoy watching people watch certain parts of certain movies.
But you look over just before something big happens, so I always know something's coming.
Oh I do?
You did it just before Humphrey Bogart saw Ingrid Bergman for the first time.
Well she's the costar. You knew it was coming.
Needing a break from the silence, to get herself to stop thinking about things that she knows she shouldn't be, she takes out her cell phone, pressing number 1 on her speed dial.
"Hey," Rory answers on the first ring.
"It's me."
"I know that, your number has been programmed in my phone since the day I got it," Rory reminds her. "In fact I believe you were in town when I bought it. You stole it from me until I promised to put your number in first."
"Oh right." Lorelai laughs.
"So, are you there? Did you get there okay?" Rory asks.
"Yeah I'm here at home. The flight was fine, no turbulence."
"Good, that's good. So did you walk into town?" Rory asks.
"Actually that's the first thing I did. Surprisingly not a lot's changed."
"Well I told you that. I was only there a few months ago. Aury had a concert and Lane wanted me to come."
"I think I remember that," Lorelai recalls.
"Old age, it'll do that every time," Rory teases.
"Hey!" she exclaims hearing Rory's giggle over the phone.
"Did you run into anyone?" Rory asks suggestively.
"Kirk."
"Really?"
"Yeah he kicked me out of the gazebo. They were starting to set up for another of their weekly town festivals."
"Those were the days. Kirk sounds like he's adjusting to his job as town selectman well," Rory comments.
"Oh yeah, he's calling himself Taylor the second." Rory laughs.
"Why does that not surprise me?" She grins. "Did you see anyone else?" Lorelai sighs, knowing exactly what Rory's getting at. She knows that's what Rory was getting at a few questions ago. More than anything, she wishes she could just stop talking about, that people would just stop asking questions about it. Most of the time, she doesn't even know how to answer them.
How does one explain away what has happened between her and Luke? How does she tell Rory that she feels it feels so Ilsa-like to go back to the diner? She doesn't know how to explain that she can almost imagine walking in and finding 'As Time Goes By' playing the background as she enters the diner. Actually, she doesn't expect that at all. She expects 'Reflectling Light' to be playing in a very 'As Time Goes By' way.
"No. And I didn't go into any place. After running into Kirk, I know my arrival's going to be all over town within the next minute."
"Probably so, but you know some people don't get involved in town gossip," Rory reminds her. Lorelai nods, knowingly.
"He'll find out eventually."
"You are going to go see him right? You can't just visit Stars Hollow and not see him. That would be cruel."
"Call me Ms. DeVille," Lorelai quips and then sighs, rubbing her forehead. "No, I will. I'm just not ready yet." She has to go, she knows it.
"You will be. I know it's going to be hard Mom, but remember you've had a great life away from Stars Hollow. Just think if you hadn't left you would have never met Larry or had Nicolas and Lucy," Rory reminds her.
"I know." Lorelai walks over to the movies and picks up her copy of The Way We Were. "Sweetie, I'm going to relax for a bit. I'll call you later."
"Okay, I love you."
"Ditto. Send the hubby and kids my love."
"Will do."
She hangs up her phone and flips over the movie, reading the summary on the back once again, not that she as to after memorizing it years ago. Lorelai stares at the picture of Barbara Streisand on the back, recalling the ending of the movie. She can see the look on Katie's face as she runs into Hubbell after all those years apart and she feels for her.
"Oh Katie, how did you manage?" Lorelai wonders aloud.