Title: Never Ending Evergreen

Author: DnKS – giRLs

Rating: T (now we get it right in standard, yay!)

Pairing: TezuFuji

Disclaimers: first, The Prince of Tennis is not, has not been, and will never be ours. Second, this story was inspired by the sweet romantic story "La Dame aux Camélias", which, sadly, is not, has not been and will never be ours. It shall belong to its respective owner, Alexandre Dumas, forever. Now… what do we own?!

Warning: AU, a bit of …. over romantic and OOC (sigh…)

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As once I wept if I could weep,

My tears might well be shed,

To think that I was not near to keep

One vigil o'er thy bed;

To gaze, how fondly! on thy face,

To fold thee in a faint embrace,

Uphold thy drooping head;

And show that love, however vain,

Nor thou nor I could feel again.

(Stanzas by Lord Byron)

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Chapter 13 – About He Who Left

My life was floating like a lazy summer breath. My life was flowing like a languid autumn leaf. My life was mine no more after he left. My life was nothing but a painful ritual I was forced to endure.

Indeed, that was what I felt. I have told you already how down I felt after my Fuji Shuusuke left me. I was ruined. I knew it, my parents knew it, and even Atobe, who met me up just a mere hour after I finished talking with my parents, knew it too. And I knew that they knew. I knew just by looking at their eyes, their saddened and pitiful eyes. I knew it and I could bear it no more.

My father decided that it was best for me to go back to my former life. With my former life, it meant going back to continue my study, associating with my colleagues, trying to be on the top of the classes, minding not with something so trivial like love. The idea seemed so uninviting then that I had already known the pleasure of loving someone so dear, someone who had so suddenly left me to be drowned in despair and anguish. Yet I still loved him and I did not think I could just forget about him and continue my life like nothing ever happened.

Still, for the sake of my parents who had been burdened so by my selfish act and for the sake of my beloved Fuji Shusuke who had sacrificed so much for me, I was willing to try.

Soon, I went back to my classes which I had gladly abandoned in my valiant journey with Fuji, saying that family's problem was the reason why I got late in entering the new term. My lecturers gave me no trouble for I had always been an honour student ever since, but I could feel my heart bleed by telling the lie. I of course could not say that my liaison with Fuji Shuusuke was the reason why I did not attend classes until then, but the lie made me feel as if I betrayed him. And the suspicious stares that were directed at me almost drove me insane. I knew that some of my classmates did not quite believe my explanations and they looked at me disbelievingly, accusingly, without any mean to hide it or make it more decent. It was maddening.

Still, for the sake of my parents who had been burdened so by my selfish act and for the sake of my beloved Fuji Shusuke who had sacrificed so much for me, I was willing to endure.

And so endure I did, amidst all the whisperings that seemed to follow me wherever I went. I could stand the bad mouthing directed at me, but whenever they spoke about Fuji… no, they were not speaking about him; rather they were insulting him in all their speeches. And that was what I could not bear. If Atobe was not there to keep me from losing my wit, I would have surely ruined myself far worse than anything.

The issue about my family's company also came to my mind and to my hands. It was finally my time to do my obligation as the sole successor of that company and started doing everything for its sake. It was enough blessing for me to be actually allowed to do something for the well-being of my family. I never thought of doing that for my own sake. No, let there be nothing for me for I knew I deserved nothing. But let it be that my parents could have their names cleared, their pride restored, and their joys returned.

And so, with all my studies and work, I was stunned to realize one day that a month had already passed after the time Fuji left me. By that time I had almost regained my former life, my former friends, and my former status before the eyes of the people around me.

"Of course no one would believe it," Kirihara Akaya, one of my friends, once said to me when we were having some drinks after our mid-term exams. He and I had been friends ever since years back when we were in the junior high before my family decided to go abroad and he was one of those people who welcomed me warmly without any suspicion. It was relieving to see that there were still people who put so much confidence in me, yet in the same time, it was also painful to abide.

"Believe what?" Atobe asked.

"That our proud Tezuka Kunimitsu could get enchanted by someone like Fuji Shuusuke, no matter how beautiful he is," Kirihara answered. "Those people from the media only want hot gossips to attract customers, sometimes they disgust me."

"You cannot blame them," said my other friend, Inui Sadaharu. "And besides Tezuka did indeed have a relationship with him, and Fuji Shuusuke is indeed beautiful."

"He's smart too," Saeki Kojiroh, another one of us said. "Not to mention that he's so charming."

"He's so mysterious and that's why he's so charming," Inui said. "And what about you, Tezuka, what do you think of Fuji Shuusuke?"

"He's…" I stopped for a while and if people looked at me well enough they might see that I let a little smile appear on my lips. "He's Fuji Shuusuke."

Atobe snickered, "And I do believe there shall be no other answer more proper than that."

"Yes I know that Fuji Shuusuke was so beautiful and all… and that Tezuka was in a relationship with him, but to go as far as to suggest that he will be so foolishly in love until he spent so much money for him and even attempted to elope with him?" Kirihara rolled his eyes. "Please, this is Tezuka Kunnimitsu we are talking about. Ne, Tezuka, don't you want to defend yourself?"

I only calmly sipped my drink and answered, "People can think of anything they want to think, but they can never change the truth."

What an ambiguous answer I gave that time, I thought with an inner smile. So ambiguous that it was almost beautiful for the hidden secrets those simple words held in them. They could never change the truth, the truth that I kept in my heart about me and Fuji Shuusuke and everything between us.

The sound of a ringing phone came to my hearing and I realized it was mine. Excusing myself, I moved to a corner of the club we were currently in, which offered more privacy, and answered the call.

"Tezuka Kunimitsu is speaking," I said.

"Good evening, Tezuka-san," an unfamiliar voice greeted me. "We haven't met before so let me introduce myself first. I am Yukimura Seiichi and I believe I have a very important business with you."

I frowned. That name meant nothing to me yet that soft voice on the other side of the phone accented sincerity that I could not fail to note.

"As I believe that you have already known my name, we can skip my behalf of the introduction," I said. "So may I know what important business do you have with me, Yukimura-san?"

"I cannot speak this by phone," he said. "This might sound a bit rude but could we please meet?"

"Right away?" I repeated.

"Right away," he said. "I am sorry for taking your precious time but I need to do something I have promised to a very dear friend of mine. He gave me something which has to be handed to you and it needs to be done real soon. I hope you can understand my situation, Tezuka-san, and I promise this will not take long."

"I understand your circumstances," I said. "But could you please tell me who is this friend of yours whose things I am about to receive?"

There was a slight pause before he answered with his ever so smooth voice two words that almost made my heart stop in my chest.

"Fuji Shuusuke."

Fuji Shusuke, I repeated those words in my head. You might expect me to be surprised, to be confused, yet I was not. I recall that time I only sighed softly as if I knew that would surely be happening when in fact I never before dreamed of such thing like that. But hearing Fuji's name spoken, I knew instantly, though until now I could not understand how could I possibly did it, that we have reached our end.

I asked the man who introduced himself as Yukimura Seiichi when and where could I meet him. Calmly, ever so calmly I then excused myself from the companion of my friends to meet the stranger I just heard his voice by phone. Calmly, ever so calmly I walked to the café he mentioned in our conversation earlier as the place we would have our rendezvous. And calmly, ever so calmly I seated myself before him, without any sign of fear, without any sign of anxiety, without any sign of confusion, without any sign of emotion.

"Tezuka-san," the man seated in front of me greeted me. As I sat before him, I observed him closely. Yukimura Seiichi struck me as a composed gentleman who seemed older than me by some few years. In his eyes I could see thoughtfulness and in his voice I found amity when he said, "You found me faster than I thought."

"Yes," I said because I did not know what else to say.

"So, shall we move to the most important topic at hand?" he said.

"Please do so," I said and observed as he drew a thick white envelope from his bag. Each of his movement seemed so languid and seeing his long fingers, I could not help but remember Fuji's long fingers that had run through my skin countless time.

Shaking my thought, I then laid my gaze to the white envelope he placed before me.

"What is this?" I asked him.

He smiled, "This is what my dear friend Fuji Shuusuke wanted to give to you. It was his last words that this letter should be delivered to you."

"His last words?" I asked.

"Fuji Shuusuke died one week ago," he said with a slight bow of apology. "My deepest grief and condolence."

"Ah," I said slowly and with a sigh, I closed my eyes. The image of him seeing me off that day came to my mind. That day, that time, the last time I met him, I remembered that perfectly. I remembered it still, I remembered him still.

Strangely there was no sadness came to me at first. There was just a feeling of void settled on the pitch of my stomach and then some feeling of helplessness but over all, there was peace. I know it might sound strange but I felt somewhat relieved to know that he had already passed away. At least by then I knew perfectly about his welfare and at least by then I knew that he had gone to a much better place than this troubled world which did us nearly no justice as we grew so much in love in it.

"How did he die?" I asked him softly.

"He died silently in his sleep," Yukimura answered me.

"Did he die alone?" I asked with my slightly trembling voice.

"No," Yukimura said with a slight smile. "I was there with him until the very last breath he drew."

I smiled yet my eyes betrayed my lips for I could feel tears came to the both corner of my eyes. Fuji did not die alone, I thought, he did not die in a lonely cold place. I might not be able to fulfil my words to be on his side during his last time on earth, but there were still people to see his passing away.

Ah, Shuusuke, I thought silently, you were not alone, never alone.

"Thank you," I said. "Thank you for being there for him when I was not able to."

"That's the least thing I can do for him," the one who introduced himself as Yukimura Seiichi said to me. "I believe you want to know the whole story of what happened after he left you, am I right Tezuka-san?"

"I indeed am," I admitted. "Would you mind telling me?"

Yukimura drew a breath and folded his hands on his laps. His blue eyes stared at me so intently as he began his story.

"I am a social worker in an orphanage. Roughly one month ago, a man came to us, declaring himself as Fuji Shuusuke, one of the children once raised there. I never knew him before but the director remembered him well. And to make the story short, he told us his entire predicament and asked us for a place for him to lay his head as he waited for death to claim him.

"He stayed with us but his health is rapidly deteriorating. I was the one taking care of him so he talked a lot to me. That's how I know about you, that's how I know about him. He told me a lot of things but the last thing he asked me was to give you that letter and told you that he is alright now."

"He's alright now," I repeated with a bitter smile. "It's so like him to say something like that."

Yukimura, I observed, decided not to say anything for that. Having heard his story, I eyed the thick white envelope he just gave to me, thinking what might be inside. In a sense I wanted to tear the damn thing open and read whatever things Fuji had written in his letter but at the same moment, I could not bring myself to even think about doing that. Because then, if I really read his final message, it would all become truth. His death, the fact that he had left me forever, would become such a cruel reality that I could not help but trying to deny.

As I had those thoughts running in my mind, Yukimura passed over me a piece of folded paper. There was written, I observed, the address of what I presumed was the orphanage where he worked. And his following statement just proved my thought.

"This is the orphanage that I mentioned to you earlier," he said. "If you… have any desire to take his remains, you can go there… because he did say something before his death that you had promised him a grave amidst the evergreens."

I smiled, remembering that certain place that had brought us together until that far. Yes, I had promised that to him. I might not able to fulfil my promise to be on his side until the end, but there was still one thing I could do to amend my faults.

"Thank you for all this, Yukimura-san," I bowed slightly to him. "You've been a great help."

"You are very welcome," he said with a smile. "Now I have done my respective responsibilities I shall leave you to read the letter in peace. Thank you for your time, Tezuka-san, it's been a pleasure for me to finally meet you after all that I've heard about you."

"And what do you find in me, if I may wonder?" I asked him casually.

"I find that Shuusuke is so lucky to have you," he said. "As you are so lucky to have him."

That was, to put it bluntly, the highest form of compliment I might expect. And thus with those words spoken, we took our separate ways. He went back, he said, to the orphanage while I took the letter and the folded paper that Yukimura gave me earlier to my dorm room. You might expect me to read the letter as soon as I arrived there, but no, I was not. Rather, I kept the letter with me for the next three days, not daring to even tear the envelope open. I did not know why I did that. I just knew that the letter was the last form of communication I could ever get from Shuusuke and somehow, I felt… reluctant to face it.

But still, eventually I did read the letter. Three days after I got it, I just stared at the pristine white envelope and suddenly without my commanding them, my fingers moved on their on tearing the envelope open. Some sheets of folded white papers filled with Fuji's neat handwriting greeted me from inside the envelope and I knew just then, I had to read the letter.

And so I sighed; and so I read.

- end chapter 13 -

(A/N: meh… sorry for so long not updating… and sorry once again for having such a cliché thing like 'college' as the reason behind that p tell you what, this chapter has been finished months ago yet we didn't have time to post it… hopeless, right?? Anyway… two more chapters to go hope you like this chapter and please do review…)