Amazon Aid
By M. Zephyr
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. This story was written for non-commercial purposes only.
Ranma x Akane. What would happen if Cologne were to decide, for the good of her people, that Ranma and Akane should get together?
There is a similarity in concept between this story and the short story "Best Served Cold" by Robert Knighton (which is not the story of the same name by vtr9kvictor). However, the focus of the two stories is very different. The focus in "Best Served Cold" is on the vision, and the resolution is dealt with in a few paragraphs at the end. The focus of "Amazon Aid" is on the resolution, and only the first few paragraphs concern the vision.
Chapter 1. A Change of Plans
In a room above a restaurant in Nerima, an elderly woman was sleeping, but it was far from a restful sleep. Her name was Ku Lon, although few in Japan could manage to pronounce it correctly. Most just called her Cologne, but either of these names was usually enough to frighten even the most seasoned of martial artists who knew of her. At the moment, however, it was she who seemed to be afraid. She lay tangled in the sheets, rolling back and forth, wrapping them ever more tightly around her limbs. Sweat plastered the sheets and her nightclothes to her body. Under her eyelids, her eyes darted back and forth wildly and, from time to time, a weak moan of inarticulate protest would escape her lips, the words not quite discernable.
Suddenly she sat bolt upright, wide awake and gasping for breath. "No, no, he cannot, he must not ... this must not be!" She spoke the words quietly, in tones which would permit no contradiction. Slowly she got her breathing back under control, the familiarity of her own bedroom helping to calm her. She carefully contemplated what she had just witnessed.
"That was a sending from my Amazon ancestors," Cologne told herself with conviction. "A severe warning, sent to me personally, that the path we are following will lead to great danger. I must abandon all pursuit of the Saotome boy immediately, or the Joketsuzoku, my people, will be destroyed." She paused, tasting the truth of what she had said, and comparing it to the warning within the vivid images she had endured. "No," she realized, "even that will not suffice. His relationship with the Tendo girl must be stabilized within the next few months, or all may be lost. We are in part responsible for the difficulties which they face; it follows that I must take a hand in mending things."
She shuddered once again in memory of the nightmare she had witnessed, fully understanding for the first time what she had been told of Ranma's defeat of Saffron. She was now utterly convinced of the need to avoid, at all costs, a future in which Ranma Saotome might choose to swear vengeance against her people. Driven by the urgency of her vision, Cologne was unable to sleep any further that night. She got out of bed and dressed, then spent the hours before dawn sitting in a chair, making plans to prevent such a future from coming to pass. It was difficult for her to shift mental gears, making a complete 180 degree turn, as it were. She not only had to discard all plans for separating Ranma Saotome from Akane Tendo and wedding him to her great-granddaughter Shampoo, but must now try to achieve almost the opposite result. To make things even more difficult, Ranma had learned through long and bitter experience that he could not trust her.
Once she had roughly sketched out the tasks ahead of her, Cologne composed a message for the other Amazon elders, which described her hideous vision in detail, and which outlined what she meant to do in order to avert the disaster she had foreseen. She also requested a formal statement that Shampoo be excused from the penalties resulting from her failure to fulfill the obligations of the Kisses of Marriage and Death. In conclusion, she asked that they ship her a little 'device' which would be useful to her plans later.
After the sun finally rose into the sky, she arranged for a telegram to be sent to her home village in China. Not for the first time, Cologne wished that the other elders would agree to have a telephone line run in. This telegram informed them that the longer message was on the way, and briefly summarized its contents without going into details which were not for the eyes of outsiders.
In addition to Cologne and her great-granddaughter, there was a third resident of the household, a young male from their home village. This young man, Mousse by name, did most of the hard work at the restaurant, as well as whatever other chores the two female Amazons required of him. Although it was still quite early, there were a number of things Cologne wished to accomplish that day, so she awakened Mousse in order to set him a task. This was accomplished by the simple expedient of whacking him over the head with her staff until he was alert.
"Wake up, Mousse! We are not going to open the café today, but I need you to go out and gather some information. I want to know what everyone is up to. All of the Tendo's, the Saotome's, both Kuno's, Ukyo Kuonji and, if you can find him, Ryoga Hibiki. But for the sake of our ancestors, if you do find that last one, don't follow him anywhere, because I want this information today. Now get dressed and get moving!"
She was hopping out of the door before the boy's feet were on the floor. He was grumbling, and unfortunately for him the words "old mummy" were audible in the grumble. An ironwood staff zipped back around the doorframe, whacked him over the head once more, and then disappeared again. As Mousse dressed and left, he wisely avoided saying anything else loudly enough to be overheard.
Shampoo emerged from her bedroom, yawning, just as Cologne reached the top of the stairs. The girl was headed toward the bathroom, wearing a robe and carrying a towel, but paused as the elder approached. Cologne addressed her, in a voice which was firm but laced with sympathy. "Good! You are up, child. That saves me the bother of waking you. Come into my room, now. I must speak with you." The teenage girl briefly considered protesting that it was much too early, but the look in the elder's eyes warned her to obey if she didn't want any lumps on her head. So she followed quietly instead.
"Sit down, Shampoo," the old woman said, pointing at her chair. The girl did so while Cologne remained facing her, balancing upon her staff. "I must speak with you about duty."
"Great-grandmother know Shampoo always do duty to tribe," was the proud reply, spoken in the broken Japanese which was all that she could manage. Cologne sighed, and decided that for the moment, clear communication was of the utmost importance.
#Let us switch to our own language for now,# Cologne said. Shampoo's eyes widened. Unless they were planning something secret, while in Japan she was always required by the elder to speak Japanese. #I have some questions to ask you, and I do not want there to be any chance of misunderstanding. You are always willing to do your duty, you say. No matter how painful the sacrifice?#
The girl was surprised that she even had to answer this. #Of course, elder. I am a warrior. I know about sacrifice, and will endure whatever is required from me for the good of our people.#
#You would give up anything, no matter how badly you might desire it?#
#Yes, elder.#
#Would you willingly assist a former enemy, if this were in the best interest of your people?#
Shampoo hesitated. According to the warrior code of the Joketsuzoku, a former enemy was a dead enemy or a slave, but she was beginning to get the idea that this conversation was not entirely hypothetical. To what enemy might she be required to give aid? The Musk? Unpalatable, but she could manage. Happosai? Surely Cologne of all people would not be asking that of her. She realized that she had hesitated too long, as a frown was forming on the old woman's face. #Yes elder, if it were necessary for the greater good of our people, then I am sure that I could assist an enemy.#
#Would you accept heartbreak, sorrow, scorn and possibly worse, while seeing another enjoy the happiness which you hoped to have for yourself?#
Shampoo was definitely getting a bad feeling about this. Endure heartbreak? The only thing likely to break her heart would be to lose her airen, Ranma. For this to lead to the happiness of another ... surely her grandmother could not mean ...
Again she had taken too long. Cologne spoke sharply. #Warrior! This elder requires your answer!#
Well-schooled obedience forced the girl to give voice to her confusion. #I ... I am willing to endure any suffering or pain for the good of our people, elder. That is the way of the Joketsuzoku. But ... I do not understand, elder. I can think of only one thing which fits what you are saying, and I ... failure to fulfill the Kiss of Marriage would require my death. Do you wish my death?#
Cologne sighed wearily. #No child, I do not, but you have guessed correctly.# Shampoo gasped, a hand rising quickly to cover her mouth, as tears sprang to her eyes. The old woman went on, pretending to ignore these signs of weakness in this, her most beloved descendent. #I am speaking now as an elder of our people, not as your great-grandmother. I have received a warning, in terms which cannot be ignored, that the pursuit of Ranma Saotome must cease. Our ancestors further demand that I must aid him to secure his future with Akane Tendo. It has been made clear to me that this is necessary for the good, nay for the survival, of the Joketsuzoku. In the best interests of our people, I, as elder, dissolve the Kisses of Marriage and Death which you have given to those two. You are ordered," Cologne eyed the girl very sharply, "to make no further attempts to win Ranma Saotome's love, or to make trouble between him and Akane Tendo. I may even need to call upon your aid in assisting my efforts to bring them more firmly together. Can I count upon your help? Or must I send you back to China? Will you prove yourself to have the bearing of a warrior, or will your behavior be more like that of a small, untrained child?#
The face she turned upon Shampoo was as immovable as bedrock. There was no give in her statements, no place to respond with a 'but.' The teenager began shaking like a leaf. She whispered, #I hear your words, grandmother, and I will obey, but I do not understand why. Must I then accept death for my failure? Must I be the blood sacrifice for the future of our people?#
Cologne's voice softened a little. #No child. It is not failure, for you did not give up. You are being ordered to abandon the chase. If there is any punishment to be meted out for this decision, then it should fall on me, and not on you ...# Her voice now hardened again. #... unless you disobey my order, and either do not give up the goal of winning his love, or seek vengeance against the Tendo girl.#
Shampoo shook her head sharply. Falling back on her warrior's code, she answered proudly, despite the tears which were running down her face. #I will do as you have demanded. I am a warrior, and I know how to perform my duty.#
"Good," said Cologne, switching back to Japanese again. "Mousse is out learning what he can concerning the various parties most directly involved, in order that we may lay our plans properly. When he returns I will explain matters as they now stand to him. You need not be present for that."
The girl nodded listlessly, not wishing to contemplate Mousse's reaction to the news. "May Shampoo go bathe now?"
"Yes, child. And you may take your time. We will not be opening the café today. There are other things to be done now, which are more important than our restaurant."
Shampoo slowly pulled herself out of the chair, and shuffled out into the hall.
When he returned later that day, Mousse's report contained no particular surprises. Ukyo was at her home, as was usually the case lately. She seemed to be uncertain of Ranma's attitude toward her since her part in the destruction of the recent wedding attempt, and was thus sticking to her restaurant except for the time spent in school. Kodachi Kuno was testing a new paralysis potion on her servants, which one could assume that the wealthy, spoiled girl intended to use to her advantage on Ranma. Tatewaki Kuno was training hard with his katana, beheading dozens of mannequins dressed in black pants and red Chinese shirts. Happosai was away from Nerima at the moment. Cologne put that piece of information together with the account in the morning paper about a massive pantie raid on a girls' dorm at Tokyo University, and thought she could make a pretty good guess as to his probable location. Ryoga had been observed wandering around the outskirts of Nerima, muttering deprecations about Ranma and how he would help Akane to see the light.
Among those more closely involved, Mousse had followed Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome to an appointment with one Rei Omi, a priest for a reclusive cult who might not have heard about the chaos of the previous marriage attempt. Mousse had positioned himself to eavesdrop just in time to overhear the words "bride and groom." Ranma's mother, Nodoka, somewhat ominously, was honing the edge of her katana. Perhaps that helped to explain why the fathers were scheming again, as it provided them with an excuse to get out of the house and away from her blade.
As for the others at the Tendo home, Kasumi was watching soap operas while doing laundry. Akane and Ranma were taking advantage of the beautiful weather to sunbathe out in the yard, while Nabiki surreptitiously took photographs of them, presumably to sell to their various admirers. Interestingly, Akane and Ranma were lying near one another, with no apparent animosity or arguments.
Cologne nodded to herself over all of this, reasonably well pleased. All was normal, as it should be. There was no reason for her to act with undue haste. With Mousse still standing where he had delivered his report, she called Shampoo down. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, Shampoo stood expectantly, her features downcast, but holding up better than might perhaps have been expected.
"I have my first tasks for you, child," the old woman told her. She held out three envelopes. "Two of these are letters which I wish you to mail. Please take them to the post office, obtain appropriate postage for them, and hand them over to be delivered."
Shampoo silently took the first two envelopes, glancing at the names and addresses. One contained the letter to the other Joketsuzoku elders which explained Cologne's vision. The other was addressed to one "Ryu Kumon." Shampoo shrugged at this one; the name meant nothing to her. She looked back up, waiting to be told about the third envelope.
Cologne continued her instructions. "When you have done that, I want you to find a priest ... what was his name, boy? Oh yes, Rei Omi. Mousse will give you his address. This envelope contains some money. I want you to ensure that by evening, he is aboard a cruise ship out at sea. It would be better, perhaps, that he not be in any condition to protest or even be aware of this generosity on our part."
"Shampoo is to shanghai a priest, Grandmother?" the girl asked carefully.
Cologne cocked her head to one side, a little irritation showing. "I did not put it so bluntly, but yes. Now go, I have other matters to which to attend."
After obtaining the address from Mousse, Shampoo left the café on her errands. The elder then sat down with Mousse and explained what was going on. To say that the boy was overjoyed would be an understatement, and Cologne was very glad that Shampoo was not present. Mousse's happiness would have been like rubbing salt into the girl's emotional wound. It was all very well to say that an Amazon was expected to stoically endure all pain, but there was no reason to inflict needless suffering. Indeed, Mousse wanted to jump up at once in order to find Shampoo and declare his undying devotion, and it was all that Cologne could do to keep him from carrying out this desire, but the elder was not yet finished with him. Once she had regained his attention, Cologne asked, "So then, Mousse, given that he is no longer a rival for Shampoo's affections, how do you feel toward Ranma Saotome?"
Mousse considered this question seriously before answering. "Although his overweening pride and arrogance annoy me, he is a good fighter and has shown himself to be a man of honor. With the bond of the Kiss of Marriage between Shampoo and he dissolved, the matter of the woman I love no longer lies between us. I have no further complaint against him."
Cologne nodded with grave satisfaction. She had hoped that this would be the case. "Very well," she stated, "then this is what I want you to do next." She went on to explain very carefully that she wanted Mousse to go to the Tendo house, and what she wanted him to do and say when he got there. Then the elder insisted on rehearsing it with him. Not satisfied with his performance, she made him rehearse it again. Cologne still was not satisfied, and expressed her frustration.
"Idiot boy," she yelled, "pay attention! I have explained our ultimate goals to you and why they are important. Your task here is not just to remove one of the rivals, but to do it in such a manner that Ranma Saotome is not removed from the picture as well! This will require a certain delicacy of touch. If you cannot manage it properly, then I will ship you back to China and find some other way to accomplish it!"
Mousse sighed, realizing that he had not taken her earlier explanations seriously enough. It finally began to sink into him just how vital it was that they pull this off correctly. In order to prove how seriously he was now taking the situation, Mousse removed his glasses from his pocket and ostentatiously settled them upon his face. He turned a look of intense concentration on Cologne, and told her, "I am ready to try again, elder."
This time their rehearsal satisfied Cologne, but she still insisted on running through it one more time. Pronouncing him as ready as he was likely to get, and giving one last threat of what she would do if he failed her, she waved him off and watched as he slipped out the door. Cologne offered a heartfelt prayer to the ancestors that the young man would get it right, then turned her attention to other matters.
A short time after leaving the café, the Chinese boy was peering over the wall of the Tendo compound from a nearby rooftop, checking on the situation. Akane and Ranma were still there, sunbathing, but Nabiki was no longer at the window with her camera. Reassured, he leaped down to the road, then over the wall, landing very close to the two, startling them both with the unexpectedness of his arrival. Akane was wearing a one-piece red swimsuit, cut high on the sides, which also demonstrated that she most certainly did have some cleavage. In fact, Mousse reflected, perhaps he ought to offer his own glasses to Ranma. If the boy could look at her wearing that and call her "unsexy," then he definitely needed them more than Mousse did. Ranma in turn was wearing a pair of blue shorts, and was the first to respond to the perceived threat, jumping to his feet and holding himself ready in case of attack.
Ranma realized that he was as upset about being disturbed when he and Akane were calmly getting along for once, as he was about the possibility of being attacked for no apparent reason. "Mousse! What do you want now? Can't we be left to quietly enjoy one peaceful afternoon without anyone bothering us?"
Akane stood more slowly and moved up to stand behind Ranma, and a little to his left. Mousse gave a small inclination of his head, acknowledging the existence of both. He answered exactly as Cologne had suggested, pompous wording and intonations included.
"Saotome. Tendo. I have come to warn you of a plot the old mummy is preparing, to which I cannot be a party. Her intention is to produce a situation in which Ranma will appear, to you Akane, to behave in a completely unreasonable fashion. His behavior would not be truly unreasonable, but to realize this would require knowledge which you do not possess. The goal would be to infuriate Akane and to cause a major fight between the both of you. Handled carefully, one or both of you could be manipulated into calling off the engagement. The old mummy believes that this would leave Ranma available for Shampoo, and provide an opportunity for my beloved to express sympathy for Ranma, in hope to gain his love, while not coincidentally angering Akane even further."
Ranma and Akane reacted with weary exasperation. "Why can't they just leave us alone?" Ranma asked irritably. He took a step closer to the near-sighted Mousse, lowering his voice menacingly. "Are you willing to give us any further details about what they are planning? What you've said so far isn't really enough to let us know what's coming."
Mousse was silently impressed that the elder had predicted Ranma's response nearly word-for-word. "I am, in fact, here to do so," Mousse replied. "However, most of what I have to say must be addressed to Akane since the plot is dependent, as I said, on a lack of knowledge on her part." He turned deliberately toward the girl, clearly excluding Ranma from the conversation. "Cologne plans to take advantage of a secret which has been kept from you for some time, and which has previously been used to cause considerable friction between you and Ranma. A secret concerning one of Ranma's rivals. Luckily I have never been sworn to silence on this matter, only threatened with dire consequences if I should reveal it to you. Thus I may expose this secret without dishonoring myself by breaking an oath."
Ranma suddenly had a suspicion that he knew where this was heading. With a wild look in his eyes, he stepped between Mousse and Akane, sweat beading his forehead. Sounding a bit frantic, he said, "Mousse, if this is what I think it is, you can't ..."
He was interrupted by Akane laying a hand on his arm. She looked into his eyes, seeking something. There were embers at the backs of her own eyes, not yet anger, but with the promise of its potential. "Ranma, is this something that I should know about? Something that perhaps you should have told me about?"
Ranma swallowed convulsively, then looked down at his lap and nodded. "I've wanted to tell you. God knows I wanted to. But I couldn't. I can't." His voice dropped down to an agonized whisper. "I promised."
"What do you mean?" she wanted to know. "What promise?"
As much as he enjoyed seeing Ranma put on the spot, Cologne's instructions had been very specific. While it might be unavoidable that Akane would become angry with Ranma in this matter, Mousse was to do what he could to reduce the damage. "I believe," Mousse put in, stepping forward again, "that he did make a promise to keep this secret. He cannot tell you without breaking his word, which would dishonor him. That is the one thing I have always been able to respect in Ranma, how very important his honor is to him. Mind you, I think he takes it to ridiculous extremes, but that is part of who he is. So however much he might want you to know, he cannot tell you himself. Or rather, he cannot tell you directly. I do believe, however, that his honor has allowed him to give you hints, in the hope that you would figure it out for yourself. Is this not so, Ranma?"
Ranma shifted his weight and looked away, obviously wishing that he could take himself elsewhere, but Akane's hand on his arm held him in place.
"This is all very mysterious," Akane said, confusion warring with a sense that she should be angry about something. "Can you speak more plainly?"
"One thing before he does," Ranma grated out. "I did not promise to keep everything a secret. I only promised to keep the one fundamental fact a secret." His voice burst with sudden anger. "I had no idea when I did what the bastard was going to do next!"
Akane regarded him with wide eyes for a long moment, startled by this outburst, then turned back to the other. "Please, Mousse. Tell me?"
Mousse nodded. "Shampoo and Cologne have known for a long time that Ryoga Hibiki also carries a Jusenkyo curse." Akane gasped in shock, her eyes shifting toward Ranma who gave a small, sharp nod of his head, confirming the information. Mousse made a sharp throat-clearing sound and she forced herself to look back at him. "I have seen him transform myself," he said, "so I know it for a fact. I do not know how he came by it. I do know, however, that he seems to blame Ranma most bitterly for it. He has been using his curse for some time to cause trouble between you and Ranma, perhaps inspired by this bitterness, perhaps for some other reason. He is back in Nerima again, and Cologne plans to use him and his curse to drive the two of you apart completely, by making you think that Ranma is completely unreasonable and maybe even perverted."
Akane looked to Ranma once more for confirmation, and he nodded again, wordlessly. "How?" Akane asked Mousse hoarsely. "How could he be using a curse to cause us trouble? I don't remember any animal doing anything to us. Or does he transform into another human form, one of the people who cause trouble around here?"
The Chinese boy shook his head, then went on quietly. "His cursed form is a small black pig. A small black pig you know as your pet, P-chan."
Akane's hand dropped from Ranma's arm, eyes widening in shock. Then she smiled, tempted to laugh, amused that they had so thoroughly taken her in by their practical joke. But her smile faded as the expressions of both boys remained entirely serious. Ranma looked like he was facing his doom. "It ... it can't be true. It can't!" She grabbed Ranma's arm again, much more forcefully. "Tell me it's not true!" she screamed.
Ranma just shook his head, unable to speak. Akane's eyes widened in horror, as the reality sank in. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. "No! No, no, no! How could he? How could you? What do you mean, you couldn't tell me? How could you possibly keep something like this a secret?"
Ranma's voice seemed to come from a great distance. "I didn't promise to keep it secret that he was your pet. I promised that I would never tell anyone about his curse. It was only after I made that promise, that he tricked you into adopting him as a pet. I hated what he was doing, I tried to stop him, but you kept defending him, and I was bound by my word. I tried dropping all kinds of hints, hoping that you would catch on, but you never did. So I had to slip into your bedroom at night whenever he was there, to take him out."
Akane looked up for a moment, her face covered with tears. "Is that why I sometimes woke up to find you there in my room at night? I thought ... I called you a pervert! It was because you were trying to kick him out?"
"Yeah," he said quietly. "The times you caught me anyway. There were plenty of other times that I got him out without you noticing."
She looked down at her lap again, sniffling. "You still should have told me!" she half-shouted in a strangled voice.
"Akane?" Mousse spoke to her softly, trying to distract the girl before she worked herself into a state where she blamed Ranma indiscriminately. "Could you have? Try to put yourself in his place. If you had sworn an oath on your honor as a martial artist, could you have broken it? However much it hurt to keep it?"
"Of course!" she shouted, then went on more quietly, "I don't know. Maybe." She rubbed at her eyes violently with the back of her hand. "I feel like such a fool!"
There was no safe way to respond to this, and so, wisely, neither boy said anything. But part of her wanted to kick Ranma for not denying her words immediately. She looked at both of them, and her eyes settled on Mousse. "Okay, Ranma swore not to tell anyone. Why didn't you tell me before this? What did I ever do to you?"
Mousse shrugged. "You were a friend of Ranma Saotome, who is my rival. The situation caused him great distress, which pleased me. And after all, you and I have never particularly been friends." He smiled in memory. "Practically the first time I met you I was trying to turn you into a duck. Given Cologne's threats if I did tell you, it was easy to decide not to. But this time they are going too far. Besides, if they did succeed in breaking the two of you apart completely, it is possible that Ranma might turn to Shampoo, and I am of course very opposed to that."
Ranma shook his head. "I got no intention of marrying Shampoo, no matter what else happens in my life. You're welcome to her, as far as I'm concerned."
Akane turned to him again, this time in surprise at his frank admission that he would never choose Shampoo. Then she shook her head to clear it. That wasn't the important thing right now. She looked at Ranma with an expression of disappointment and intense pain. "It's not a secret anymore. The least you can do is tell me what happened. You owe me that much!"
"About Ryoga?" Ranma asked. She nodded, and he looked thoughtful before he began speaking. "You remember that duel he and I were supposed to have in middle school? How I waited three days for him to show up, before my father dragged me away to China? That Ryoga showed up on the fourth day?" Akane nodded again. "Okay. Well, just before you adopted him as your pet, Ryoga told me the rest of the story. It seems that he followed me all of the way to Jusenkyo and got there just after I'd fallen in. When I first came out of the spring and saw what had happened to me, I thought that I would be stuck as a girl forever. I was chasing pop all over the valley, and if I'd caught him, he'd be dead now." There was something in the deadpan delivery of this last statement which suggested that this was literal truth. "According to Ryoga, a red-haired girl chasing a panda bear knocked him off of a cliff into one of the pools." Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. I was in such a rage I wouldn't remember. I believed him 'cause when he told me, he still hadn't found out that pop changes into a panda. So I figured I was at least partly to blame. His cursed form is a small animal, which would make it dangerous if an enemy knew about it." Mousse nodded his own head emphatically at this, thinking of his own duck form. "I thought that the honorable thing to do was to promise him that I would never reveal it to anyone." Ranma gave a short humorless laugh. "Although, if you want to know the truth, at first I thought he was the neighbor's dog."
Ranma sighed, kicking at the grass with his toe. "Then later that same night you introduced me to P-chan, and I discovered that it was him. I wanted to strangle him, but I couldn't come right out and tell you because I'd already made that stupid promise. That's why you caught me in your room later that night with the kettle of hot water. I was threatening to pour it on him to force him to leave your room." He winced. "Sorry about you waking up to find me lying on top of you that night. I was trying not to wake you and the porker managed to knock me down."
Akane nodded, but a thundercloud swept across her face. "And just how do you explain the other times? The times that you prevented me from accidentally finding out? Like the time you caught him just before he fell into the fountain right in front of me? I'd have known, and you'd have kept your precious promise!" With each question she punched him and her voice rose higher, until at the end she was beating on his chest and shouting. Then she burst into tears again and he grabbed both of her arms.
"Akane, I ain't got no excuse. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. You're absolutely right. I was wrong. I guess ... I just knew how hurt you'd be, and I kept hoping that I could convince him to stop doing it, without you ever finding out." He sighed and looked away from her, feeling unbelievably stupid. "I guess I really am a fool when it comes down to it. Shall I leave? I can be packed and gone within the hour."
He was completely flattened by the mallet which crashed down on top of him. "You complete moron! Do you think you're just going to run out on me! Don't you possess the basic courage to face the consequences of your decisions! Yes I'm hurt by what you did. Very hurt. And I'm furious with you. But if you want a chance to ever be forgiven, then you're going to stick around and take whatever you've got coming, until I do decide whether to forgive you. Besides," she added in a quieter voice, "I'm also furious with myself for not having seen the obvious sooner. Most of all, I'm furious with Hibiki. 'Furious' doesn't even begin to describe my feelings toward him." As she expressed these last feelings toward Ryoga, there was an expression on Akane's face which Ranma did not at first recognize. Then he realized that this was because every time she had ever been angry at him, it was a 'hot' anger, which had quickly passed. This was the first time that he had ever witnessed her in a cold fury.
Akane turned back to the other boy, making an effort to be civilized. "Mousse, thank you for telling me this. I wish you had done so a long time ago, but as you point out you had little reason to tell me, and plenty of reason not to."
Mousse stood and bowed to her. "It has been my pleasure. Now I must be leaving before the old mummy realizes that I am missing and begins to suspect what I may be doing." He turned and hopped back over the wall, disappearing from sight.
Ranma groaned from the pit in which he had been driven by the mallet blow, then sat up, pulling a tuft of grass out from between his teeth. "I'm sorry. I am really, really extremely sorry," he said. "I wish that I had made better choices, and I deserve whatever punishment you feel is necessary."
Akane grunted, then turned to leave. "You can begin by staying out of my sight for the rest of the afternoon. I am going to change, then go break bricks by the dojo. Lots of bricks. Lots and lots of bricks. I will see you at dinner time." Ranma watched as she vanished inside the house. He decided that for now it would be safest to stay where he was.
That night when the combined families gathered for dinner, Akane sat down in her usual place beside Ranma. She seemed calmer than earlier, and although she was cool toward him, it wasn't much worse than it usually was after they'd had an argument. Ranma felt oddly encouraged. She even asked him a question about the work he had done on a school assignment which was due the next day. Wanting a refill on her tea, Akane went into the kitchen to get the kettle which had just started whistling.
At that moment, everyone heard a soft "bweee" sound, and Ranma's head snapped around. The little black pig with the polka dot bandanna was trotting into the room from the outside, looking just as proud as he could (he only got lost twice on the way from the gate in the wall to the house). Ranma shook his head and said, "P-chan, believe me, you'd better turn around and get out of here fast." The pig's response was to run up and bite his ankle.
Ranma shook him off with a grunt of pain, and the pig immediately bounced back to his feet. He stood there glowering at the boy, nostrils flaring. Ranma looked up above the pig and then closed his eyes.
A moment later, Ryoga was rolling around on the floor naked, screaming in pain from the boiling water which Akane had poured on him from the kettle. Akane glared at the suffering boy, her battle aura huge and her eyes glowing murderously. Then, in sudden suspicion, her eyes swept over the other occupants of the room. Ranma was looking at Ryoga with pity. Her sisters Kasumi and Nabiki, and Ranma's mother Nodoka, all had expressions of shock on their faces. Akane mentally lost a bet with herself in regard to her mercenary middle sister - it seemed that Nabiki hadn't known and been keeping it from her while using the information for profit. On the other hand, she noted with rising fury that neither her own father nor Genma Saotome looked surprised at anything other than the fact that she now knew about Hibiki's curse. She filed that thought away for later consideration. For now, she needed to focus on the one who had betrayed her.
Akane looked down again at the naked boy, who by now had gotten himself under control, having realized just how much of a show he was giving to everyone. He was now lying slightly curled, with his back to a wall, trying to use his hands to cover those bits of himself which he deemed most important. Fearfully, he looked up at the girl who had just scalded him, his eyes wide and bewildered by the sudden change in circumstances.
Ryoga's expression changed to one of terror as a mallet materialized in Akane's hand. He knew its power from having witnessed her using it on Ranma many times, occasionally in his own defense. The girl's next words added to the fear, as she raised the mallet. "Do you have any last words to share, Hibiki, before I end your pathetic excuse for a life?"
"A-A-Akane! You have to understand, it was all Ranma's fault! I ... I l-love you. I needed ... all I wanted to do was to protect you from him. He's a pervert. He was always sneaking into your room, getting into fights with you, calling you names. I was only thinking of you!"
The mallet came down with a crash, smashing the boy through the floor. Nabiki winced at the thought of the cost to repair that hole. Ryoga looked up dazedly at the fiery eyed girl standing over him, as she addressed him.
"How dare you speak to me of 'love,' you disgusting pervert! You used your curse to sneak into my bed and to spy on me when I was undressed! And to blame Ranma, who kept your filthy secret! He only snuck into my room to get a disgusting pig-pervert out of my bed! A lot of the fights between us were caused by you, pretending to be my friend or pet, while all of the time you were betraying me! If I ever see you around this house again 'P-chan', I'll take you to a taxidermist to have you stuffed and mounted as a warning to other perverts! Now get out, before I really do kill you!"
Ryoga looked into her face and realized that she meant it. There was no drop of forgiveness or understanding anywhere in her eyes. He scampered out of the hole and, still inadequately attempting to cover himself, ran out of the house. Akane continued to stand there for a few minutes, eyes tightly shut, letting her battle aura slowly dissipate. Then she went back and sat down beside Ranma once more, eating her dinner with grim determination, clearly not tasting a single bite.
Nabiki was the first to break the uneasy silence. "Um, Akane?" she asked tentatively, a little worried about her sister's temper. "How long have you known? I mean, that Ryoga has a curse, and that he was your pet?"
Akane ground out the words, "Mousse told me this afternoon. Apparently Cologne had some scheme in mind to use P-chan to start another fight between Ranma and myself, and he decided to head it off. I guess Mousse thought her plan had a chance of actually working."
"And my son knew that this other man was sneaking into your bed?" Nodoka asked in a strained voice. Ranma winced. So did Genma. So did Soun.
"Yeah," Akane answered, sighing, "but the baka had sworn an oath to Hibiki that he wouldn't tell anyone about his curse, before he became my pet. Ranma tried getting him out of my room whenever he was there. Since he couldn't tell me directly, genius here," she nudged the shoulder beside her own, "tried to get around that stupid promise by dropping hints. But I was too dumb to guess the truth."
"You're not dumb," Ranma protested. "You're just ..." His voice trailed off weakly.
Akane made a face at him. "I'm still mad at you for not finding some surer way to let me know, and for protecting that pervert's secret." She sighed, releasing some more of the anger. "But I'm just as mad at myself. I should have figured it out."
Akane turned to her sister Nabiki on her other side. "I bet you're kicking yourself right now. I know how much it upsets you when somebody manages to keep a secret from you." Nabiki made an airy gesture with one hand, indicating that she could have found out if she had put her mind to it. With a tight smile, Akane continued, "However, you might console yourself with the thought of how lucky you are right now that you didn't know. If I had found out that you had kept this from me ..." Nabiki swallowed nervously, the look in her younger sister's eyes making her suddenly happy that she had not known.
The two fathers both trembled slightly, upon hearing this sentiment directed at Nabiki, but things were about to become worse for them. Akane's voice became very cold. "Unlike, say, our father and Mr. Saotome. They knew about this." Her gaze shifted, to focus on her suddenly white father and the empty spot beside him where Genma Saotome had been sitting. That worthy froze in place, halfway to the outer door, which exit he'd been quietly creeping toward. He sat up, facing them and holding up a sign reading, "I'm just a cute panda," which contradicted the evidence of their own eyes as everyone stared at the bald man. In an artificially conversational voice, Akane asked, "So what is your excuse for not telling me about Hibiki's curse?"
Soun gave a nervous little chuckle and replied, "Eh, well, no real harm done and all that. The boy wasn't really trying to take advantage. And it did get Ranma to come to your room. There was always the hope that one night Ranma might stay, to keep the Hibiki boy from coming back if for no other reason."
The temperature around the table plunged to near absolute zero, as all four women, Nodoka, Kasumi and Nabiki, as well as Akane, looked upon the two men with disgust. Akane spoke in chilled, clipped tones, "Father. For the time being, please do not speak to me. I can't think that there is anything you could say that I would possibly care to hear. I do not see what you could do to possibly make this up to me."
Soun Tendo started to weep piteously, begging for a chance to redeem himself. Nodoka Saotome lifted her sheathed katana, glaring at her husband and his friend, and Ranma heard her mutter something about "dishonor" and "daughter-in-law." Some punishment was clearly needed, but it would be best to head off any irrevocable decision his mother might make. Casting about for an idea, his eye lit on the "dessert" Akane had prepared, which she claimed were cookies.
Ranma cleared his throat, causing everyone to look at him questioningly. "I've got a suggestion for what to do with 'em," he said, hooking a thumb at the two cowering fathers. He shifted position until he was facing Akane directly. "If you'd care to hear it, that is." Akane looked at him curiously, but then nodded. "Well, to go off on a tangent first, I know how much you'd like to be able to cook, that is, to cook stuff that people would be willing to eat." Akane nodded again, this time looking dangerous. Ranma swallowed and went on. "I know that you've tried to figure it out on your own, and I know that both Kasumi and my mom have tried to teach you. The way I figure it, though, is that cooking has become so instinctive for both of them that they might have a hard time teaching you." All of the women were now looking at him, considering his words. "Anyway, while I'm nowhere near as good a cook as them, I do know how to, and if you want I'd be willing to try to teach you. But if I do, I want to make one condition. Until I say otherwise, the only people we test out your cooking on is your pop and mine. They won't be allowed to eat anything else until they finish what you've prepared."
The two men were looking at Ranma in absolute horror. Nabiki and Nodoka had looks of manic glee on their faces, and even Kasumi's smile was larger than normal, although hidden behind her hand. Akane was nowhere near as happy, as the implication was clear. Everyone considered eating her cooking to be a punishment sufficient to fit the severity of this crime. She fought an internal struggle with herself, wanting to smash the boy for making such a suggestion, but at the same time trying to consider the offer objectively. Even though she hated to admit it, she knew that her cooking wasn't very good and did frighten everyone else. So their fathers would regard it as a severe punishment, as much in the anticipation, as in the execution. She winced at the double meaning in that last word. She did very badly want to learn how to cook well, and having Ranma teach her might actually work.
Finally Akane declared, "Okay Ranma. We'll try it your way."
Genma and Soun both fell down, covering their faces with their hands and moaning. Then they both abruptly stopped as they heard the whisper of metal as a katana emerged partway from its sheath. "I will ensure that they eat every bite of food put in front of them," Nodoka announced. The faces of the men lying on the floor paled further, as they now knew that they had no hope of escape.
Author's note:
Just a couple of clues about what's coming. There will be four chapters in all. Among the suitors/rivals, pairings will be provided for Ukyo and Kodachi. All of the Ryoga-bashing takes place in this chapter. He has no significant role in the remainder of the story.