Ode to Pikachu

By Mieren and Dr. Seus

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I am Ash.

Ash I am.

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That Ash-I-am,

That Ash-I-am,

I do not like that Ash-I-am!

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Do you like my Pikachu?

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I do not like him, little brat.

I do not like that yellow rat.

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Would you like him here or there?
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I would not like him here or there.

I would not like him anywhere.

I do not like that yellow rat.

I do not like him, little brat.

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Would you like him in a house?

Would you like him with a mouse?

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I do not want him in my house.

What do you mean? He is a mouse!

I would not like him here or there.

I would not like him anywhere.

I would not like a yellow rat.

I do not like him, little brat.

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Would you like him in a box?

Would you like him with a fox?

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I would only mail him in a box

And happily feed him to a fox.

I do not want him in my house.

No matter what, he's still a mouse.

I do not like him here or there.

I do not like him anywhere!

I would not like a yellow rat.

I do not like him, little brat.

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Would you, could you, in a car?

Pet him! Hold him! Here you are!

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I would hit him with a car.

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You may like him. You will see.

You might like him in a tree!

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I would strand him in a tree!

I do not like him! Leave me be!

I'd like to seal him in a box

And I'd still feed him to a fox.

I do not want him in my house.

I need a cat to eat that mouse!

I would not like him here or there.

I would not like him anywhere.

I do not like that yellow rat.

Now leave before I get my cat!

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A train! A train!

Could you, would you on a train?

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Under the train or maybe treed!

Smashed by my car! I want him deceased!

I'd mail him away in a box

Directly to that hungry fox.

Anything to kill that mouse,

And I still don't want him in my house!

I would not like him here or there.

I would not like him anywhere.

I do not like that yellow rat.

I do not like him, you little brat.

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Say! In the dark?

Here in the dark!

Would you, could you in the dark?

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I would not, could not in the dark.

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Would you, could you, in the rain?

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I would like to drown him in the rain,

Smash him in the dark with a train.

Hit with a car, stuck in a tree,

I do not like him, brat, you see.

Not in my house, not in a box,

I'll feed that mouse to a fox.

I do not like him here or there!

I do not like him anywhere!

I do not like that yellow rat!

Now just piss off, you little brat!

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Could you, would you with a goat?

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I would smash him with a goat.

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Would you, could you on a boat?

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I would drown him from a boat,

After I smash him with that goat.

I would leave him in the rain,

And crush him with a freighter train.

Leave him in the dark, stuck in a tree!

I'll hit him with a car if you don't leave me be!

I'd tape him up in an airtight box,

Trapped inside with a rabid fox.

I will not let him in my house.

He's nothing but a lard-ass mouse!

I do not like him here or there.

I would not like him anywhere!

I do not like that yellow rat.

I do not like him, you little brat!

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You do not like him, so you say.

Pet him! Hold him! And you may!

Hold him and you may, I say!

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Brat, if you will leave me be

I will hold him and you will see.

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Sounds of lightning and sizzling flesh heard.

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Say! I really like him now!

This thing could flash fry a cow!

Electric rat stays off the boat

So he can help me roast the goat.

I'd not hold him in the rain.

He'd fry me! Hell, he'd fry a train.

I would like him in a car or a tree.

He's the world's biggest battery!

I couldn't contain him in a box

And I'm sure he'd only sauté the fox.

I would let him in my house.

I don't care if he is a mouse.

I would like him here or there.

I would like him anywhere!

I really like this yellow rat!

Thank you, thank you, little brat!

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Scuffle heard in background. Ash is punched out and Pikachu stolen. Mad cackle heard as insane author runs away with stolen Pokémon.

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All right, everyone. Sorry, but this had to be done. I'm insane and I thought it high time the world knew about it. mad cackle Please R&R so I know whether or not to continue on my mad rampage.

Disclaimer: Neither Pokémon nor anything pertaining to Dr. Seus belongs to me. If they did, I'd be filthy rich and rubbing everyone's nose in it. But I'm not. sobs So suing me will only get you a headache.