Brotherhood Evolution, the Early Years: The great Hotdog war.
And we come the end of another saga… a small saga, but a saga non-the less. I hope you all laughed and enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.
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Bayville Park
"Ah. Bayville-park. The-bane-of-every-horny-teenager. The-loneliest-place-for-the-homeless. The big-P…" Pietro began to prattle before Lance slugged him, knocking him out. "Mommy…"
"Thank you Lance." Betsy said simply. "I was getting ready to make him think he was a three year old girl."
"It's how he acts." Todd commented.
"Just drag him along. He'll wake up eventually." Fred said as Mike grabbed Pietro's legs and began to drag him with the rest of the 'Hood.
"Why are we here again?" Todd asked as the Brotherhood walked into the semi crowed park.
"Because, it's a Bayville tradition that the last day of summer, there is a giant free picnic for all the citizens of Bayville." Betsy explained.
"Betsy, you've been here for three months? How do you know that?" Lance asked.
"I know how to read this thing called the paper." Betsy shrugged.
"Ohhh…" The boys all said in amazement. Betsy just palmed her face.
"Still that doesn't explain why we're here." Mike stated simply.
"Free food." Blob stated simply.
"A huge crowd to steal from." Todd added.
"A chance to try and flirt with Kitty." Lance said, pointing at the X-men who had just showed up.
"And the chance to watch lover boy crash and burn." Mike added with a snicker. Lance just glared at him as Cyclops stormed over with the X-Men.
"Alvers." Cyclops hissed.
"Summers." Lance responded with equal venom.
"What are you and your hoods doing here?" Cyclops demanded.
"If you had been here a few seconds ago, you would have heard our reasons. Jeeze. Get with the program." Lance said as she pushed Scott out of his and the Brotherhoods way. The "Hood just walked by laughing, Fred and Mike dragging Pietro's limp form over several large rocks as they walked away.
"We better keep an eye on them, to make sure they don't cause trouble." Cyclops said sternly.
"Here ve go again…" Nightcrawler moaned.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Scoot asked.
"Face it Scott. Every time we try to keep an eye on the Brotherhood, madness ensues." Jean huffed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet Duncan and Taryen."
"Fine Abandon your friends!" Scott shouted at her. "Men, we have work to do." Cyclops said as he turned around to see only Nightcrawler still present.
"Somebody has to keep vu in line." Kurt shrugged.
"I hate my life." Scott muttered simply.
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A wee bit later
"Ah. I love making fun of geeks." Mike smirked as he held up a nerd by his color.
"Yep." Fred said as Lance took the kids money.
"Score. Now we have enough to eat this week." Lance smirked as he counted the money. "Go ahead and let him go Mike. He bought the three semester policy."
"With Jock deterrent?" Mike asked.
"Yep." Lance nodded
"Big spender." Mike shrugged as he let the kid go and patted him on the back. The kid scrambled away as Betsy walked over.
"Scaring money out of the Norms are we?" Betsy asked simply.
"Duh." Mike stated.
"So. What do we do first?" Betsy asked. "Besides steal that is?"
Well, Todd's pick-pocketing, Pietro's still out." Mike said pointing to the unconscious Pietro whom now had a mustache and glasses drawn on his face. "And me, Lance, and Fred are collecting insurance for the new school year.
"We've got enough cash here for now. I saw we grab some grub." Lance said simply.
"Time to make the perfect hotdog." Mike smirked as he walked over with the Brotherhood to one of several large tables.
"Which involves Chile, cheese, onions, ketchup, and relish." Lance said as he began to fix his hot dog.
"You wish. It's ketchup and mustard with a dash of Relish. And a few flies for flavor." Todd said as he hopped over to them.
"Oh. My head." Pietro groaned as he woke up slowly. "What hit me?"
"Daniels." Fred said quickly.
"I'll-teach-him…" Pietro said as he got an evil glint in his eye. He was gone in a moment.
"Why did you do that?" Lance asked Fred.
"What? I like a show with my Dinner." Fred said simply.
"The man has a point." Mike said. "And besides, the perfect hot dog is with Mustard, relish, and sauerkraut."
"In your dreams." Fred scoffed. "The perfect dog is deep- fried, loaded with everything."
"Only you would deep-fry a hotdog." Mike snapped.
"On contraire Mike. Deep-Fried Hotdog's are a delicacy in some regions of America." Lance pointed out.
"Yea. The Gay ones." Mike replied. "A Hotdog needs to be grilled or char-broiled. The bun lightly toasted."
"Are you high? You never toast the bun. It has to stay soft!" Todd snapped.
"Agreed." Fred and Lance said.
"You guys are all idiots." Mike shouted back at them.
"Oh Lord. I am not going to get involved in this." Betsy said as she walked away from the four boys, who were now arguing loudly. "I wonder what else there is to do around here." Betsy said as she spotted Jean. "Hmmm… Why not." Betsy shrugged as she walked over. "Hi there." Betsy said as she walked over to where Jean stood with some of her cheerleader friends.
"What do you want?" Jean asked a little harshly.
"I deserve that." Betsy said simply. "I was just wondering if we could talk."
"Talk?" Jean asked.
"About being telepaths." Betsy projected.
"Okay." Jean said simply as she excused herself and the two girls walked off. "What do you want?"
"Honestly. I think we got started on the wrong foot. My boys attacked your boys, your boys fought back. I got dragged in, you got dragged in. Madness ensues." Betsy listed off.
"Yea. That is how things seem to happen around here. You should have been here for the medieval fair." Jean smiled.
"So. What do you say we try to be friends at least?" Betsy asked.
"I would like that." Jean smiled.
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Meanwhile
"Mike. I-need-your-help." Pietro said as he sped up top Omega, who had Lance in a headlock, with Todd fighting with Fred in the background.
"I'm a little busy." Mike muttered as Lance socked him in the jaw. "Ow." Mike muttered as he fell, letting go on Lance, who then dropped an elbow on him.
"Toast the bun my ass." Lance smirked as he kicked Mike in the ribs a few times. "That'll teach you, you blasphemer. Todd! Your next. Flies on a hotdog! Over my dead decaying corpse!" Lance shouted as he tackled the frog boy.
"Looks-like-your-not-busy-now." Pietro said simply as Mike stood up, rubbing his jaw.
"Damn that guy has a mean left hook…" Mike muttered. "Okay Petey. What do you need?"
"Someone-more-morally-depraved-than-me." Pietro said simply.
"I think I can fit that bill." Mike said as the two ran off.
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Elsewhere
"So besides fighting amongst themselves. The Brotherhood hasn't really caused any trouble." Kitty said as she and Kurt appeared in a puff of Brimstone.
"They have to be up to something. They're criminal masterminds they are." Scott said as he rubbed his chin. "But what dastardly plot could they be brewing…"
"Dastardly plot they could be brewing…" Evan repeated. "Scott?"
"Yea?" Cyclops asked.
"What are you smoking, and where can I buy a pound?" Evan asked.
"Huh?" Cyclops muttered. "Wait. That's it! They're poising the hotdog chili!"
"Not the chili!" Nightcrawler screamed.
"Those Basterds. Their treachery knows no bounds." Cyclops muttered.
"We must strike before it's to late!" Nightcrawler shouted as he grabbed Cyclops and the two teleported away.
"What do you see in him again?" Kitty asked Rogue.
"I dunno. Nice ass?" Rogue shrugged.
"That boy needs help. They both do." Evan said simply. Before he was suddenly doused in tar and feathers. "PIETRO!" Evan screamed as the speedster sped up and took a picture.
"Chicken-McDaniels. I-like-it." Pietro smirked as Mike snuck up behind Evan with a lighter.
"Chicken Flambé?" Mike asked as he lit the tar, sparking a fire that covered the young mutant.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Spyke screamed as he ran around on fire.
"I think we might have crossed the line on that one Petey." Mike said as he and Pietro saw the very pissed Rogue and Kitty looking at them.
"What-we-need-is-a-distraction." Pietro said simply.
"Lance likes you." Mike said quickly as he and Pietro ran off.
"He does?" Rogue and Kitty both asked at once.
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Meanwhile
You punks aren't going to poison the chili." Cyclops shouted as he and Nightcrawler appeared in front of the brotherhood. Lance was covered in ketchup and mustard, Todd in a headlock. Todd had two hotdogs sticking out his ears and Blob had a dozen wieners stuck in his mouth as he sat n the ground hog-tied.
"Mmmmmmm…" Blob muttered as he tried to break loose.
"What are you talking about?' Lance asked as he let Todd go. The toady mutant pulled the hot dogs out of his ears and shrugged, swallowing them whole.
"Where did vu find rope that could hold the blob?" Nightcrawler asked.
"It's magic." Todd replied simply, citing the Brotherhoods response to everything.
"Meh." Blob said from the ground.
"What's going on here?" Mike said as he ran up, Pietro arriving before him.
Summers thinks were poisoning the chili." Lance said as he crossed his arms across his chest, ignoring the fact that he was covered in condiments.
"Please. Like-we-would-sink-that-low." Pietro said simply. "The-relish-yes. The-chili-no." Pietro said simply as Evan ran by, still on fire and still screaming.
"Shouldn't he be dead by now?" Mike asked quizzically.
"Yes. He-should." Pietro replied confused.
"There they are!" Kitty shouted as she ran up with Rogue.
"What did you two do?" Lance snapped.
"Exhibit-A." Pietro stated as he pointed to Evan, who was running around in the lake, still on fire.
"WHY WON'T IT GO OUT?" Evan screamed. "WHY GOD! WHY DO YOU HATE ME!"
"Oh, and we let out your dirty little secret." Mike smirked.
"What?" Lance screamed as the ground shook, followed by the metal guitar riff.
"Where did the music come from?" Todd asked as he looked around.
"You know, I never thought of that. Every time I use my powers there's the same metal guitar rift. Watch" Lance said as he used his powers again, and true enough there was a metal riff.
"Weird." Blob said as he stood up, free of his ropes by the magical plot device.
"I know. It's like we have our own music track." Mike replied as the brotherhood all looked around for a few minutes in silence.
"What the hell is wrong with these people?" Kurt asked honestly.
"I used to live with them and even I can't tell you." Rogue replied simply.
"Enough of this!" Scott shouted. "You're here to cause trouble."
"No. We're here to determine what makes the perfect hotdog." Mike said simply. "I still think it's with a toasted bun, Mustard, relish, and sauerkraut."
"You're an idiot!" Cyclops shouted. "You never toast the bun."
"Agreed." Rogue and Nightcrawler stated.
"Thank you!" Lance shouted. "See you're the only one that s toasts the bun."
"Your taking the X-geeks side over mine?" Mike snapped. "I see how it is you Benedict Arnold. Semper Fi Avalanche.
"Besides. Ve all know the perfect hotdog is deep-fried with the works." Kurt stated.
"BO-YA! The elf agrees with me!" Blob shouted.
"You are both insane!" Rogue shouted. "The perfect dog has ketchup and mustard, nothing else!"
"Like, please!" Kitty scoffed. "Veggie dogs are so much better."
"SHUT UP KITTY!" The Brotherhood and X-Men all shouted at her. Soon a large food-fight had broken out, with condiments and hotdogs flying back and forth.
"I'm so glad we're not involved in that." Betsy said as she and Jean stood back, watching the X-Men and Brotherhood battle with food.
"Amen sister." Jean said. "I mean, come on, everyone knows the perfect hot dog is plain, with the bun lightly toasted."
"Please. You don't toast the bun. Only idiots do that." Betsy scoffed.
"What did you call me?" Jean asked.
"I said only idiots toast the bun." Betsy said as she shoved Jean. "Why? Got a problem idiot?"
"Yea. Your tempers a little hot. Better cool off." Jean said as she telekinetically picked up a giant jug of fruit drink and dumped it on Betsy.
"This means war." Betsy spat as she lunged at Jean. The two started rolling on the ground, fighting as the Brotherhood continued to fight the X-men in the background, causing massive havoc and destruction.
"Chuck. Why can't we ever have a normal night out?" Logan asked as he, Storm, and Xavier watched the chaos, and various uses of mutant powers.
"I don't know Logan. Although I have the feeling that I'm going to get another massive headache covering this one up." Xavier stated.
"I have a feeling this is the last Hotdog festival Bayville will be having for a very long time." Storm said simply. "Goddess. Can you think of what it will be like when the new students show up in a few days?"
"We're going to need a couple tanks." Logan muttered. "And a lot of scotch."
"WHY HAS NO ONE HELPED ME!" Evan screamed as he ran by on fire.
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Well. That was fun. Sorry about the delay, but I'm currently working on earning my PH.D and things have really picked up. Don't expect The Brotherhood Chronicles to be updated for a while, I'm just to swamped.
Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed this little trip through time. I know I sure did. Peace out all,
Descendent