A/N: Hi, I wrote this fic because I was bored. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The marauders are not mine! (Sob!)

Moony's writing, Prongs writing, Sirius's writing

The Marauders Guide To Surviving Hogwarts

By Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs (Wormtail just tags along and has no advice whatsoever)

Chapter 1: How to pack and prepare for Hogwarts

Hello! Welcome to Sirius's Guide to Surviving Hogwarts!

Ahem, Padfoot aren't you forgetting a few people,

Oh yeah, I mean Padfoot's and Prongsies Guide to Surviving Hogwarts!

Padfoot, um still missing something,

Sirius and James Guide to Surviving Hogwarts?

No,

Oh yeah! Padfoot, Prongs, and Moony's Guide to Surviving Hogwarts!

Much better,

Hey! I'm Prongs and this is our guide to Surviving Hogwarts and we are writing it all by ourselves because ghostwriters always do it wrong and try to make it all weird!

Yeah, so we are writing it ourselves and yeah you get the picture,

Right, let's stay on subject or no one will read this, we are going to tell you in this first chapter how to pack and prepare for Hogwarts

Yes, the first step is when you get your acceptance letter, jump up and down and be excited, also especially if you are muggleborn make sure that your parents let you go, if not, beg and beg, and beg, and if nothing works run away, and the Knight bus will pick you up and take you to the leaky caldron and there you will get to Hogwarts.

Yes, true but Prongs running away? No parent is going to let their kids read this!

Relax Moony! That's only last resort!

Whatever, anyway, if you are allowed to go to Hogwarts, you need to make sure you go to Diagon Alley for your stuff, all those muggle shops are fake, and plus, Hagrid will take you there, or your parents

Uh- huh, once you have your stuff, on September 1st, you need to get to Kings cross station, on platform 9 ¾

You may think that's ridiculous, but it's true, you find platforms nine and ten right? And then you run right in to the brick wall, it's so awesome; over the years try it in different ways

Yeah, one time, I went in backwards it was awesome, and I landed on Evans! On the down side she shot a really good bat- bogey hex

That was a sight,

Yes, indeed, I tried it, sideways,

My first time, I just walked through it not, run because well, I didn't really think it was going to let me through anyway

But it did, didn't it Moony?

Yes, and then I tried running

You can try it in many ways shapes or forms, we even threw Wormtail through it once in sixth year, we arrived with him in animagus form, so no one knew and he changed into human form in the bathroom later.

That was so awesome!

Poor Wormtail, I told you it was a bad idea,

On the downside he did land on this 7th year Slytherin prefect's hat, we got detention for a week,

Which did help since me and Prongs wanted to break the detention record

Yes, those were the good old days

And you were very irresponsible!

Thanks Moony,

No problem,

Ok, next, oh yeah, we forgot an important thing!

And what's that Padfoot?

Packing!

Oh my gosh! That is very important; when you are packing your trunk for Hogwarts here is what you will need

Clothes

Obviously

Pranks,

Good job Padfoot! You will also need lots of candy! When you're in Diagon Alley be sure to go to Honeydukes and Zonko's wait, that's in Hogsmeade, well in Diagon Alley, get as many candy and pranks as possible in whatever candy store there is out there.

Yes,

I have to agree on that, and make sure you pack neatly that way you can put more pranks and candy in there..

Yes, that is one of the good things about being organized.

Indeed, on the train, make sure you get a private compartment,

NO SLYTHERINS WHATSOEVER!

A very important rule, Prongs if you come across one, prank them

And when the snack lady comes order as much candy as possible without spending all of your money because well if you are above 2nd year, you'll want to buy more candy and pranks at Hogsmeade Honeydukes and Zonko's are the best place

Don't forget the Quiddich shop too!

Another important store!

Oh, and make sure Prongs doesn't flirt with Evans on the train,

Yes, there have been many bad experiences haven't there been Prongs?

Yes, sadly I'm gonna go cry now. (Goes to cry)

Poor Prongs, in second year, he tried to flirt with her on the train, she levitated him and threw him out the window of the train,

He had to chase it, and then Moony levitated him and brought him back.

It was a sad story; he had nightmares about it for two weeks.

Moony was his psychiatrist, it helped a little,

That was the roughest two weeks of my life.

Prongs got better, when we attacked the Slytherin common room; we turned the whole thing into a pond of quicksand!

But we made sure it would let them go when they sunk to their necks,

We hate Slytherins but we don't want to go to Azkaban

Well, we better go, poor Prongs is going to need us again.

Well, see ya!

The best guide-writers ever!

Padfoot, Moony, And Prongs (Sob!)

A/N: How was that? I hoped you liked it, please review! I was reading this story about Fred and George writing a Manuel for life and I thought the Marauders could do one too, I'd just make it about Hogwarts only, not life so I hope I didn't really steal the idea, you can read her story if you want, it's on my favorites list. I read this and hers over and over again there is a lot of differences so I think I'm ok, I just wanted to let you know the idea wasn't entirely my own. I should put that in the disclaimer; I'll put it there in the next chapter. Anyways please Review! I love to hear from you! C'ya!