Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Doctor who, they belong to Russell T Davis and the BBC. I do own the plot and any characters you don't recognise.

Love is not always fairytales and romance

Once they reached the Doctor's Room they both sat on the end of the bed. Rose looked around; she had never been inside the Doctor's room before. She hadn't had any reason to have done so.

The Doctor cleared his throat and asked her "do you trust me Rose?" Rose frowned "of course. Sure you've left me behind not once but twice, but it will take more then that to ever make me lose my trust in you."

The Doctor replied "do you trust me to enter you mind? Do you trust me to see every last second of your life? Do you trust me to show you mine, knowing your most likely going to want to leave after seeing everything I have ever done?"

Rose was floored as she asked "everything? You'd show me everything?" The Doctor nodded "Reinette she only saw some of my memories of when I was younger and of most recently."

He sighed "I broke the link before she saw everything. You on the other hand I'm willing to allow too see everything from the beginning in the middle and to the present."

Rose asked "You allowed Reinette to look into your memories?" The Doctor frowned and shook his head. "No she was not meant to have seen anything. I was inside her mind looking for information."

He sighed "I hadn't realised until it was too late, that once you open a door the other person can walk in and out until that door is closed again."

He stroked the side of her face and said "but she never had my permission, you on the other hand do. I'm willing to show you everything. I don't wish there to be anymore secrets between us."

He sighed sadly and guiltily "because of secrets and my idiotic behaviour and incapability to be open with you, our relationship has been dealt a huge blow and strain."

He continued to caressed her cheek with the pad of his thumb and spoke gently "my ninth self was in love with you Rose, and that has not changed, that love was passed onto me stronger then ever before."

He smiled gently "no matter how many more times I regenerate I'll always love you. I can't change that, and wouldn't even want to, even if I could."

Rose felt tears fill her eyes and replied around a sob "I love you too, I always have and I always will" she allowed the tears to fall.

"I loved your ninth self, and when you regenerated I never thought I would be able to love you like I did him. But then I found I loved you even more."

She trembled as he lovingly brushed away her tears as she continued to speak. "I love you so much that it hurts. It hurt when you jumped through that mirror on that horse, never knowing weather you'd ever be able to come back."

She sighed sniffling "it hurt when you completely ignored me and went and saved her. But I can not blame you for that. She was after all more beautiful then I will ever be or could ever hope to be. She is more intelligent and is not common."

Rose whimpered as he cradled her in his arms. "I never ever expected you to love me back. Why choose me when you could have had the beautiful and sophisticated uncrowned queen of France and mistress to the king of France?"

Rose sobbed "compared to her I am a common nobody. I don't even have any A-levels. I can't play an instrument; I can't draw to safe my life."

She added looking up at him "but believe it or not I can sing." The Doctor chuckled at this and kissed her affectionately upon the nose.

The Doctor gently placed the palms of his hands against her face and his finger tips against her temples.

He murmured soothingly "close your eyes and relax Rose. In less you place up barriers you will be allowing me to see everything.

Just so you know you shan't encounter any barriers with me. I am an open book for you to explore. I promise I won't keep anything from you. I almost lost you because of what I had been doing."

He gently and lovingly caressed her temples with his finger tips before entering her mind. Both were suddenly hit with memory after memory belonging to the other.

The Doctor was stunned to sense so much loneliness, loneliness that wasn't his own. The fear of being alone and left behind had always been a constant fear of Rose's.

He saw the sweetest little brunette haired girl. Growing up without the love of a father, never being able to understand why the other children at school had a dad and she didn't.

A teenager who worked hard in school, but never had the heart to really try, seeing as she knew she would never get to go to collage due to the lack of funds.

A teenager who never finished school after meeting an older teen by the name of Jimmy Stone, he who promised her so much, but cheated and crushed her, a cruel idiot full of broken and worthless promises.

A naive teenage girl, she who had the unfortunate habit of always choosing the wrong kind of boy's to date, she who always choose the pretty and bad boy's; who treated her like a possession.

A young woman stuck in a relationship with a child hood friend, because it felt safe and familiar.

A young woman stuck in a dead end job, she who sensed there had to be more then just her mundane life.

A young woman who met a dark and lonely guy in a leather jacket a Time Lord who promised he would show her the wonders and beauty that is the universe.

A young traveller who had to meet and watch her father die, who had to deal with seeing and knowing him for only a matter of hours.

A young woman who taught him how to live again and had shown him what it was to live after so long of believing his hearts were dead and incapable of ever loving ever again.

A young woman and companion willing to give up her life to save his, she who was a goddess bathed in a golden glow of time, she who saw everything that was, everything that is and everything that ever could be. She is the bad wolf.

He felt her anguish when he had regenerated in front of her, then after when he had been in his healing coma.

He had felt her deep crushing heartache for the man she had once known, but he also felt the unfailing love she currently felt for him.

He saw and felt how embarrassed she had been when Cassandra had taken over her body. How Cassandra had jested about how she was like hormone city. Telling the Doctor how Rose was attracted to him.

Then he cringed when he saw himself being possessed by Cassandra. He had felt the mixture of emotions coming from Rose, as she watched Cassandra controlling his body.

He sensed her horror, amusement and the disturbance she felt over Cassandra saying as she spoke using the Doctor 'Ooh, he's slim. And a little bit foxy. You've thought so too. I've been inside your head. You've been looking, you like it'

Then he had felt and had seen how pissed she was, silently seething as he told Queen Victoria 'She's a feral child. I bought her for sixpence in old London Town. It's was her or the Elephant Man, so'

He felt her fear and was stunned at what the host of the werewolf had said to his Rose. He had felt her jealousy over Sara-Jane. He had been indignant as he discovered the reason as to why his Rose was laughing with Sara-Jane, at him, he now knew.

Rose had said 'Listen to us. It's like me and my mate Shireen. The only 'Look! Inside your eyes! You've seen it too! The Wolf! There is something of the Wolf about you! You burnt like the sun, but all I require is the moon'time we fell out was over a man, and... We're arguing over the Doctor'

The Doctor sighed in annoyance as well as a little amusement as the memory went on his Rose along with Sara-Jane continued to discuss and make fun of him.

'With you, did he do that thing where he'd explain something at like, ninety-miles-per-hour, and you'd go, 'what?' and he'd look at you like you'd just dribbled on your shirt? All the time!' had been Sara-Jane's reply.

The Doctor honestly had no idea he had made any of his companions feel like that, at least of all his Rose and Sara-Jane.

He huffed mentally when he heard the next part of the memory as Sara-Jane had asked Rose 'Does he still stroke bits of the TARDIS?'

That was a low blow the Doctor could not help but think as Rose replied 'Yeah! Yeah! He does! I'm like; do you two wanna be alone?'

He sighed and tries to pretend that their mad cackling at his expense did not seriously grate on his last nerve. 'Bloody human women' was his thought.

Then came the memories of Rose's he found more then a little uncomfortable and guilt worthy in regards to him self.

'Madame de Pompadour-- (Reinette gasps) please, don't scream or anything, we haven't got a lot of time. I've come to warn you that they'll be here in five years'

He watched as the conversation he would never have witnessed had he not entered Rose's mind, he watched as it unravelled between the woman he loved and the woman that had fallen in love with him, but sadly did not have his love in return.

He listened and watched as Reinette had spoken. 'Five years? Some time after your thirty-seventh birthday. I um... I can't give you an exact date. It's a bit random. But they're coming. It's gonna happen. In a way, for us, it's already happening. I'm sorry, it's hard to explain. The Doctor does this better' had been Rose's reply.

'Then be exact, and I will be attentive' had been Reinette's reply. Rose had looked so genuinely apologetic and uncomfortable, that the Doctor felt awful for having sent Rose to inform Reinette.

The Doctor cringed at the tone of voice Reinette was using against his Rose. It was not fare on Rose. She was speaking as if Rose was stupid, when the Doctor knew she was far from it, even if she did not have Reinette's intelligent's.

'There isn't time' Rose had insisted apologetically. 'There are five years' Reinette had told her persistently. Rose had replied with a slight edge to her voice, which the Doctor recognised as Rose coming close to letting her temper loose on Reinette.

'For you, I haven't got five minutes' Reinette had replied practically throwing her intelligence in Rose's face, the Doctor realised with no small amount of anger. 'Then also be concise'

'Erm... there's say, um... a-- a... a vessel, a ship, a sort of sky ship. And it's full of... well, you. Different bits of your life in different rooms, all jumbled up. I told you it was complicated, sorry' Rose had said genuinely sorry.

'Oh my poor Rose. I promise I'll make this up to you' thought the Doctor sadly. He cringed at the rage he could hear in Reinette's voice as she had replied. Making him realise Reinette would have truly been lost in his world.

'There is a vessel in your world... where the days of my life are pressed together like the chapters of a book so that he may step from one to the other without increase of age... while I, weary traveller... must always take the slower path?'

'He was right about you...' had been Rose's reply. 'Oh but not completely Rose my love. I never expected her to throw her intelligence in your face no matter how deliberate or not' was the Doctor's remorseful filled thought.

'So, in five years these creatures will return. What can be done?' Reinette had asked. Rose had replied 'The Doctor says keep them talking. They're kind of programmed to respond to you now. You won't be able to stop them, but you might be able to delay them a bit'

'Until?' Reinette had questioned. Rose's reply had been simple but truthful 'Until the Doctor can get there' Oh and boy had he gotten there, but at the risk of losing Rose.

'He's coming, then?' had been Reinette's hopeful reply. Rose replied honestly 'He promises' The Doctor sighed thinking as he continued to watch 'yeah and that promise almost cost me my love, that's what it bloody did'

'But he cannot... make his promises in person?' Reinette had asked, clearly bothered by that. The Doctor frowned. It had not been his fault that he had been unable to come him self. He had been busy setting up that sound system around the ship.

Rose's reply had been in a tone that Reinette had obviously missed, but the Doctor hadn't. Her tone was not of anger but it also wasn't her being her usual sunny and caring self either.

'He'll be there when you need him. That's the way it's gotta be' Reinette had replied clearly resigned 'It's the way it's always been. The monsters and the Doctor, it seems you cannot have one without the other'

The Doctor grimaced when Rose had laughed and replied wearily and knowingly 'Tell me about it' she added 'The thing is you weren't supposed to have either. Those creatures are messing with history. None of this was ever supposed to happen to you'

The Doctor felt both sympathy and anger for Reinette at what she had said in reply. Anger because she was taking it out on Rose, when Rose was only telling her the truth which she needed and had to hear.

And sympathy because she was in love with him, and he was not with her, he had never meant to lead her on. It was his own fault for kissing her back, he knew this.

'Supposed to happen? What does that mean? It happened, child. And I would not have it any other way. One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel'

The Doctor felt his anger flare. His Rose was no longer a child; she had not been since she had met him and began travelling with him in his previous incarnation.

And he sure as hell was no angel. He snorted at that. He could not help it. Him being referred to as an angel was damn right laughable in his opinion.

The Doctor felt ill as he finally saw the events concerning his baby's conception, from Rose's point of view.

He saw and sensed that her entire posture and facial expression screamed disbelief. She was incredulous. He could tell she was caught between laughing and bolting in fear.

He watched as Rose had tried to talk him out of it, before giving up and surrendering her self to his advances.

He felt her pleasure during their foreplay, but her mixture of pleasure and pain as he slammed her down upon his hard length.

He could evidentially see she was enjoying her self and that she was doing it willingly. He was flooded with a sense of relief as he realised she had consented and he had not forced her.

And lastly he saw the moment where she discovered she was pregnant. He felt wretched as she sobbed as she allowed the pregnancy stick to fall from unfeeling fingers as she slid down the bathroom tiled wall and onto the tiled floor and buried her face in her knees.

Rose was stunned as she viewed each memory of the Doctor's. She marvelled at seeing the Doctor in his original form.

She watched as he then regenerated for the first time ever. He was a lot younger and was rather attached to his recorder.

Then there was the third Doctor. A pure dandy, Rose would never have figured the Doctor as once being a dandy. Wonders never ceased.

Then there was the fourth Doctor. Rose had felt a warm fuzzy feeling at seeing her love with wild curly hair. Oh and that scarf. That scarf. There were no words to describe it. She smiled at his jelly baby obsession. She found that enduring and adorable.

The fifth Doctor much to her shock was blond, pure blond. The Doctor had been blond; she was unable to get her head around that.

She grinned at his love of cricket, hell he even wore a cricket jumper. But what she did notice about the fifth Doctor compared to everything else. Was that he seemed to be the most mellow and laid back Doctor of them all. Her Doctor, both of her Doctor's weren't and aren't that mellow.

Then there was the sixth Doctor. Rose noticed another blond, but he seemed to be channelling four when it came to the curly hair.

She was both an amused and horrified at the sight of his bright patch work coat. She felt the urge to gag. It was atrocious. It would have made fabulous dusting rags in Rose's opinion.

She made a mental note to ask the Doctor if he had been colour blind in his sixth life. Then there was his personality that had really wound her up. He was nothing short of a grumpy and cynical old swine.

Seven, he was not the best looking man in the world. But he was hell of a lot better natured then six had been. He seemed to have a love of chess.

As for the question mark covered umbrella it did not do much for her. His dress sense had not been the best but he was no where near in the league with the sixth Doctor.

Eight, she found him to be handsome. His sense of style looked to be out of the Victoria era. His long hair she found to be very attractive.

Then there was nine her first Doctor, with his adorably big ears and nose and goofy and manic grin. She used to love his leather jacket and his beautiful blue eyes.

He was her first true love. He introduced her to the wonder's that was the universe. He would forever be in her heart.

And finally ten, the man she now loved, with his glasses she found undeniably sexy. Gorgeous Bambie eyes that were capable of melting her entire being, his heavenly knee weakening boyish grin with those prefect white teeth.

That suit that she loved seeing him in, with those trainers that he seemed to be able to pull off with ease.

She felt a lingering sadness, as she felt how lonely her Doctor had been and still most of the time was.

He had many, many companions. They all mostly left him, few he had sent away in sometimes subtle ways and sometimes none subtle ways.

She saw the memory with him kissing Reinette. She saw and felt how stunned Reinette had left him afterwards.

She watched as he drank danced and laughed along with Reinette. She could not help but feel the cold hard stab of jealousy.

Finally the Doctor broke the link after viewing the night their Time tot was conceived from his own point of view, he then sat back and eyed Rose nervously.

His nervousness soon turned to pure incredulous disbelief when she began giggling hysterically like a hyena, clutching her side, trying to relieve the stitch in her side.

She asked between giggles "oh god, that scarf, that bloody scarf. What were you thinking? Oh shit and that coat, what did you do take a load of dusting rags and sewn them together?

Geez it was so bright, you wouldn't happened to have been colour blind in your sixth life by any chance?"

She wiped her eyes lying back on the bed and commented laughingly "wow that coat was bloody scandalous, it was a crime if I ever saw one Doctor."

She suddenly shrieked as the Doctor pounced on her and began to tickle her like crazy. Rose screamed in between bouts of mad giggles.

"Stop please I can't breath." The Doctor laughed and insisted "say uncle and apologise for insulting me and my past dress sense."

Rose howled with laughter and spat out between giggles "never. I was only telling the truth, to bad if you're too blind to see the truth."

The Doctor continued on mercilessly. Rose suddenly knew what would stop him she screamed "AAAHHH STOP DOCTOR I'M GONNA WET MY SELF IF YOU DON'T."

That did it that did the trick she thought with satisfied smug glee. The Doctor immediately ceased his tickling and eyed her in disgusted amusement.

Rose smirked and gasped for breath "don't look at me like that. It bloody well stopped your blasted tickling didn't it? I did warn you and I after all was only telling it as was."

He pouted adorably "but I loved that scarf and the coat wasn't so bad" he had added at her look of sheer incredulous disbelief.

"Ok fine so it was more then a little colourful to say the least. And no for your information my sixth self was by no means colour blind thank you very much."

Rose snorted "you could have fooled me. That coat was butt ass ugly and if you can't see that, then that is just damn right tragic."

The Doctor chuckled and leaned over her and captured her lips with his own, moaning in contentment at the sweet tasting of her mouth.

He cupped her face as his slanted his mouth hungrily over her own. He slipped his tongue passed her lips and entwined it with her own.

She whimpered in delight and wound her fingers lovingly between the soft and wild strands, as she suckled on his lower lip and then his upper lip.

Rose murmured "make love to me please." The Doctor paused before asking "are you sure love, are you sure that this is what you want?"

She replied after kissing him on his jaw "I've never been surer or wanted anything so much in my life. I promise you're what I want and only you."

The Doctor grinned his wide boyish grin before murmuring against her mouth "I love you I love you so much my Rose."