Yay! Chapter four! Thanks for your patience, and everything, and special thanks to Rosalyn Angel for all the music and the support and for forcing me to finish writing at 1 am.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom hearts.

Warnings: Same as always

Pain…

It ricocheted through his arms, across his back and shoulders, spreading like a deadly virus at every movement.

Sora…

It was odd, why was he associating Sora with pain? Usually, Sora was (to him at least) everything sparkly and bubbly and bright in the world. DiZ was entirely correct when he said that Sora was far too nice. Determined blue eyes glared at him, a playful pout on a childish face. "I'll beat you next time!" And indeed he did.

Kairi…

He felt like he was floating, hanging above his body where only twinges of pain could reach him. Warmth enveloped him, the type of warmth given by someone gathering you up in their arms, reassuring you that everything would be alright, as they rocked you back in forth, into a peaceful oblivion.

Fear…

What was he afraid of here, in this floating blue sphere? Maybe he didn't want to reenter his body, because then the pain would return tenfold. He didn't know, it felt odd to feel any emotion, when he was just a floating shell.

Then, a small, plump hand cushioned the back of his head, and his body accepted the dark, free floating spirit back into it's depths. The comforting hand, tilting his head back and dripping small amounts of blissfully hot, cinnamon chocolate liquid down a parched throat faded away, and pain erupted from every part of his body. Every molecule felt as if it were on fire.

Blue green eyes, wide and pained, snapped open, and the hot chocolate fell to the floor, the mug shattering, as Riku sat up, falling off the bed onto the sharp, broken glass.

"Crap," his voice sounded harsh, unused.

Murmuring sounded above him, and two strong hands, thinner and larger than the ones before, lifted him off the scalding liquid, gently setting him on the bed and pulling a sharp shard of glass from a particularly nasty cut.

"You better be careful. I might think you like having me in your arms."

"So-ra…" His voice cracked on the second syllable, the high, squeaky sound a reminder of adolescence not so far behind.

"Sleep," the voice sounded calm, unworried, trustworthy, dare Riku think it.

He didn't know who to trust anymore, with all the conflicting sides, all the conflicting people. All he knew was that he wanted to stay with Sora and Kairi.

A small group of islands, just big enough for the three of them and their adventures. A silver haired villain, a pouting hero, a stubborn princess, all playing together. A darkness, a light, the story of his life, divided between the two.

Was darkness really so evil? Every light cast a shadow.

Riku's last thought before he fell asleep was that Sora's shadow must be a mile long.

Go back to sleep.

Sleep is painless.

Nah, this seems like a boring place to nap anyways.

Riku couldn't believe that once upon a time he had said that. Now, as he lie here, on the brink of consciousness and sleep, he wished that he had stayed sleeping. Maybe he would have been spared the pain.

Then again, he would never have found Sora and Kairi again.

And he wouldn't have lost them again.

It's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all…

What about to love and loose and still love and find and loose again. Could a heart take that? Could a heart as weak as his take that?

The pudgy hand returned to the back of his head, gently parting dried lips and administering a sweet, tangy liquid with a bitter edge. Elixir. Riku had drank enough of these to know the taste.

Train harder! Do ever expect to save Sora like that?

Embrace the darkness, Riku.

Revenge…

Riku's heavy lidded eyes opened slowly, and he blinked quickly to alleviate the pain the light brought.

You are such a creature of darkness that the light burns you.

Father?

Three faces glanced down at him, or, more realistically, two and a half faces, since the third seemed oddly skeletal and therefore did not count as an entire face.

"Santa Claus…?" Riku almost wished he could move his arms to rub his eyes. This had to be some sort of hallucination. There was no way… Santa was just some made up old guy that parents told their kids about to keep said children in line.

"Riku, you should take better care of yourself. If Jack hadn't found you… I swear, if I had a lump of coal for every time you've made a stupid mistake, we could solve the world energy crisis!"

Okay, so Santa had an attitude.

"Now drink!" And pudgy hands shoved the elixir back in his face, and Riku swallowed reflexively, almost flinching at the overwhelming taste.

Slowly, the pain in his arm dulled, and he could almost feel the bone repairing itself. Ah, the elixir, good for anything short of being shot or run through.

"By the way, how is Sora doing?"

There was a silent pause at the skeleton's words. The elixir splashed in its container, dribbling down Riku's chin, along his neck, collecting on the collar of his shirt.

Using his good arm, Riku lightly pushed the elixir away, ducking his head. Long bangs shadowed his eyes, hiding his features from people who Sora had undoubtedly met on his adventures. Sora had so many friends, so many people to care for him. But still, he was taken.

"Actually, that's why we're here," Riku bit his lip, turning his head to the side in shame.

"Sora is missing," Leon's strong, deep voice filled in the gaps.

Riku turned towards the man, startled. Leon had been quiet, so very quiet, that Riku had almost forgotten he was there.

The vampire had his arms folded across his chest revealing white hands and clear fingernails curved into claws. Intense, gray blue eyes, the color of the sky on a rainy day, and just as empty, stared at the red clad old man who had taken them in.

"Sora! Missing!" The skeleton leaped to his feet, creaky joints squeaking, causing Riku to flinch.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

"Santa!"

"Heartless!"

Three pairs of eyes and one pair of empty black sockets turned towards the door leading to the workshop.

Riku's eyes narrowed as he pushed himself to his feet. Almost as soon as his bad arm touched the bed it protested in an aching pain that caused a quiet gasp to escape Riku's lips.

It would seem that he wasn't fully healed.

Leon, who was already half way across the room turned to Riku, his fangs bared menacingly, long black jacket swirling around him at his sudden movement.

"Stay here."

Riku wanted to protest, but he couldn't find the strength to yell, or even to move as Leon raced from the room, shutting the door behind him. The loud noise reverberated through the room, echoing in Riku's head as he sat in bed, the candy cane sheets pooling around his slim waist.

………………….

Falling forward, Kairi jabbed the sharpened end of her staff into one last heartless, watching it disappear with a victorious grin on her face. Landing on weakened, tired legs, Kairi collapsed, her knees cut open on small bits of stone.

"I'm…" Kairi trailed off, heaving in exhaustion. "I'm pooped!"

"Kairi! You okay?" Yuffie ran up to her, shuriken bouncing off a curved hip, a small amount of blood smeared across her forehead.

"I feel good," Kairi smiled. She felt strong. She felt accomplished. Shed felt as if she could do anything and nobody could stop her.

Yuffie laughed, wiping her forehead and smearing the blood even further, revealing a small cut. Clutching her stomach with one hand and banging her thigh with the other, Yuffie laughed loudly.

Using her arms to lift herself slightly, her wooden staffs scraping across the ground, Kairi stared at the older girl.

"What's so funny?" She asked, watching as tears rose to Yuffie's eyes, and quite suddenly she couldn't tell if Yuffie was laughing or smiling.

"Not many people feel 'good' after a heartless attack, Kairi." Suddenly serious gray eyes stared at hers for a second, and Yuffie's endless smile faltered, exposing a scared young woman with the beginnings of worry lines on her face.

Kairi felt like crying. She didn't know why, only that she felt like crying.

"I know I saw those things turn that way," the little girl announced, holding a stuffed lion to her chest. The goofy looking predator's eyes gleamed in the darkness, as innocent and open as the girl carrying him.

The little girl turned the corner, and suddenly another pair of eyes gleamed. These eyes were golden.

"What?" The little girl, instantly struck by fear without knowing why, backed away, her back hitting a stone wall. Frantically, she looked around. She was trapped!

The single heartless eyed her hungrily. After all, the more innocent the heart, the better it tasted.

Suddenly, the monster lunged, and a childish scream resounded throughout the town. The stuffed lion dropped to the cold, hard ground, abandoned.

Kairi was surrounded by darkness. Unlike the suffocating darkness, the one that followed the heartless, this darkness felt pure somehow, wrapping itself around her like a silken sheet.

The darkness soothed her, wiping away the tears she had shed for the little girl.

"Do not worry, little girl. I will protect you." The voice sounded deep and as silken as the darkness surrounding her.

"Who are you?" Kairi's voice sounded weak and childish, raspy and tired.

"I am one who will protect you." The voice promised, in it's silken elegance.

"Yes, but what is your name?"

"Xehanort. What is yours?"

"My name is--"

Kairi awoke with a start, gasping.

"Kairi, you okay?"

Yuffie was on her knees, seemingly ignoring the hard bits of gravel that dug into her slim knees.

"Yeah," Kairi trailed off in silence, violet eyes staring at the run down castle that lie across a giant chasm.

"Kairi?" Yuffie asked, holding the smaller girl up by her shoulders.

"Yuffie, why do we live? Why do we exist if life can end so quickly? What's the point of all this? What comes afterwards?"

Yuffie's face crinkled into a playful frown, and she hit Kairi in the shoulder. "What does it matter?" She asked, laughing. "We're both young! We have years to live!"

Kairi gazed back up at her with large, empty violet eyes.

That little girl did too…

…………………………

Riku blinked wearily, tilting his head to the side and staring out of the frost covered window. The reverberating echo of the door had been replaced long ago by the sounds of blades clashing and footsteps rushing to and fro.

The scent of leather and vanilla and cinnamon hot chocolate had been replaced by the sickeningly sweet smell of darkness. Riku's nose crinkled slightly.

Shrugging the covers off, Riku stood, and purple and black dots danced in front of his eyes as a an immense wave of dizziness hit him. He felt like he was spinning, constantly surrounded by the smell of rotting flowers.

Maleficent hated flowers. All the plants in Hallow Bastion reaked of death in decay, much like the castle itself, with its ancient evils and darkened stain glassed windows.

Rotted flowers, darkness, Maleficent, Ansem. All of this was synonymous in Riku's mind, one endless cycle of misery.

Grabbing the candy cane bed post for support, Riku lifted his bad arm to his head, the steady pale skin blocking out the spinning room.

Good god, was he so out of shape that a simple injury could prevent him from finding Sora?

Riku took shallow, uneven puffs of breath. The loud sound blocked out DiZ's footsteps, and his aching lungs sent him falling to his knees, gasping for breath. There was motion in front of him, and Riku scarcely had time to move before he was knocked across the floor.

"Really, Riku, is that all you can do? Learn to depend less on your sense of sight."

The first step was always the hardest, he told himself as he moved towards the door, his hand slipping from the candy cane bedpost.

After all, after the first step, your body built up momentum, the pattern of your footsteps became habitual, and suddenly, the path was so easy to follow.

And he would follow this path, Riku decided, as he opened the door. Leon hadn't locked it, not that it would have helped. There were advantages to being a keyblade wielder.

Absentmindedly, as he summoned his blade, feeling the heavy, comforting yet terrifying weight of the blade in his hands, he wondered where this path would take him. Would it lead him to darkness? To light? Or maybe to an end?

Only one thing was for sure. He would do anything if this path led him to Sora.

A familiar smirk touched his lips as he lunged forward into battle, slicing through the shadowy flesh of the heartless. The darker side of him indulged in the pressure against his blade, the feeling of tearing through flesh, and the buzz of energy around him.

Sora… He would find him, alive and well. It was only a matter of time.

………………

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" The cloaked figure coughed out, a hand clutching his chest. Slightly wrinkled fingers traced Riku's slim form on the looking glass.

"You're pathetic," the woman replied. She'd crossed her arms over her chest, and suddenly, without her large weapon, she seemed small and delicate.

"Remember, I'm the only reason you're alive today, witch."

The woman snorted, glaring at the man. "If you call what I am alive."

The mysterious man reached into his pocket, pulling out a small glass bottle. The bottle glowed with a strange pink light, illuminating the dark room.

"I hold the other half of what you are right here, my dear. It's funny, that even as such a small, sweet child, your heart contained so much untapped darkness."

"Will both of you shut up!" A voice shouted, and the man turned to glare at the blue eyed boy, tied (they weren't stupid enough to use anything with locks) and bound to the crumbling brick wall.

"Oh! I'm sorry Sora. Would you like us to allow you to watch your friend suffer in peace?"

Sora struggled against his bonds, his eyes watering with anger. It was no use. He felt so weak, and whenever he moved too quickly he became dizzy.

"He's being such a good friend, searching for you all over the worlds. Too bad you're not being a good friend, Sora." The man chuckled, and the woman frowned, her fist clenching.

"First his guilt over his father, then his fear of spiders. What will you tell us next, Sora? Come now, what is his biggest secret? What will cause him to crawl here, begging for mercy?"

The man kneeled in front of his captive, smirking.

"Go to Hell!" Sora spat, turning his head to the side.

"Now, now, such naughty words for such a sweet boy." The man taunted. Behind him, the woman sneered.

"You might as well tell him, Sora," she feigned disinterest, curling up on the stone floor.

At first, Sora had pitied her, a creature forged for darkness, hoping only to earn her light back, but now, now he hated her, just as much as he hated the man in front of him.

"It won't work, what you're doing," Sora insisted, his eyes pleading with the cruel man. "Riku's stronger than that, I know he is."

The man laughed again, throwing his head back and pounding on his knee. A lock of silver hair slipped from his cloak.

"So were you, Sora. So were you."

Sora gritted his teeth against the tears falling from his eyes. He hated them! He hated them more than he'd hated anyone before!

"I'll kill you!" Sora swore, struggling violently.

This time the woman laughed. "You can't kill him, sweetie. Not when you're slowly fading away like me."

…………………

Riku heaved as the last heartless hit the ground. His heart was pounding violently in his chest, tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.

"Is everybody okay?" Jack asked, gazing around at the small group. Riku nodded slowly, attempting to catch his breath. His lungs hurt, and pins and needles were running through his legs and arms.

His stomach ached, a loud, churning sound escaping. God, he was hungry.

A warm hand on his shoulder stopped him, and Riku stared up into the cold eyes of Leon.

"I thought I told you to stay in your room."

Riku frowned, staring at his limp arm and long, almost devilish blade. He could barely feel the comforting, heated metal beneath his fingers, the sensation fading as numbness constricted his limbs. His stomach gave another pained gurgle, and bile rose up his throat, threatening to spill from his mouth.

An arm gripped him around his back, warmth infecting his seemingly hallowed and cold stomach. Riku could barely feel Leon's sharp claws as they cut open his skin, the sting of pain replaced by an all encompassing numbness.

His heart was still thumping, pounding in his chest, in his head. Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.

"Riku, when was the last time you had something to eat?"

Leon's voice echoed through his mind, as cold as his fingers and toes. The last time he had eaten? The last time he had eaten?

"Riku, if you don't hurry up, we'll be late!"

Glancing at the clock, Riku's eyes widened, and he hurriedly straightened his tie, making sure his regular clothes were tucked in his book bag.

There was no time for breakfast! Searching his pockets, Riku realized he had no money for lunch either.

Well, he'd just have to eat after school.

"Riku, hurry up!"

"I had," Riku paused as his stomach seemed to collapse in on itself, an aching mass of emptiness. "I had something to eat the day before Destiny Islands was overrun by heartless."

"What?" Santa's voice interrupted any response Leon might have had.

"There was only one thing stolen," the tiny elf answered, a bandage wrapped around his drooped ear.

"What was it?" Santa asked, an edge of frustration to his voice.

"A stuffed lion," the elf answered, nervously biting a fingernail. His hat was precariously balanced on his small round head, and Riku had the biggest urge to blow it off.

Suddenly, Leon's grip on Riku loosened, and Leon looked up to see the man's eyes widening.

"A stuffed lion?" Leon asked, narrowing his eyes at Santa. The elderly man seemed to shake in his boots from the deadly glare, and Riku gulped. The taller man had no idea how frightening he could look.

Tha-thump, that-thump, tha-thump.

His heart was beating in his head, aching and echoing, and his stomach was growling.

A stuffed lion?

Tha-thump, tha-thump,

Have you eaten?

tha-thump, tha-thump…

And a new sound entered through his ears, a light scampering, and Riku turned, looking back over Leon's leather clad shoulder, his aqua eyes wide.

Golden eyes smirked at him, swirling with the emptiness of darkness, the emptiness of a heartless.

"And here's something for you too, Riku, even though you are probably one of the worst children I've ever met. Honestly, you told both Sora and Kairi that Santa didn't exist."

Riku barely noticed the box Santa slipped into his nearly limp hand, his gaze focused over his shoulder at the deadly shadow.

Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.

The heartless lunged.

Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump.

"Look out!" And Riku grabbed Leon around the waist, burying his head in Leon's chest and trying to pull him away, somewhere, anywhere, safe.

Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump…

………………

Slowly, almost like a scared child, Riku lifted his head from Leon's chest. The basement around them was dark and gloomy, and the cold from the stone beneath his cloth wrapped feet startled him.

"Hello?" A startled voice asked them, a voice that Riku remembered too well.

There were seven princesses of heart, seven maidens with pure souls filled completely with light. Seven young women who Maleficent had kidnapped, who Riku had helped Maleficent to kidnap.

"Cinderella?" Riku looked up, straining his eyes to see the woman above him.

"Why yes, that's me. Who are you?" And Riku continued to stare, because instead of the fine gown Cinderella had worn in Hallow Bastion, the beautiful young woman in front of him wore rags, a smudge of charcoal on her cheek, an old cloth holding her hair back.

What had happened to the graceful woman in the glass slippers?

Riku frowned. Just because she was a princess of heart didn't mean she was a princess, but why was she dressed in rags? She looked almost like a slave.

And why didn't she remember him?

Riku couldn't say he was mad about that small fact, but at the same time, he almost wanted her to hate him, to blame him. He had hurt her, used her heart to open a gateway to darkness, and several other unforgivable sins.

Riku's stomach growled again, fiercely, and his nearly numb legs almost gave out, his weakened arms gripping Leon tighter. Almost absentmindedly it seemed, the older man tightened his grip on Riku's waist, stopping Riku from falling to the floor.

"Ohhh! You're hungry! How rude of me! Where are my manners?" The nimble young woman ran down the stairs, gathering something from a broken down, old table.

Riku's mouth watered even as he saw the stale bread and slightly dirty water. His stomach growled even louder, and a small blush graced his high cheekbones.

Cinderella split the bread three ways, handing the two larger chunks to Riku and Leon.

Riku quickly unwrapped his arms from around Leon's torso, grabbing the bread and biting a large chunk of it.

Cinderella giggled at his display, lightly nibbling on her own bread. "You're quite the ravenous one, aren't you?"

Riku smiled a bit, before digging back into his meal. Despite the fact that the bread was hard and as cold as the basement, he swore he had never tasted anything better.

And ravenous one? This woman had obviously never seen Sora eat.

Sora…

Riku stopped eating, a crumb tumbling from his mouth.

"I can't accept this," he told Cinderella, handing her the remainder of the bread back and turning his head away. He wondered, if she knew who he was, if she could remember, would she still treat him with this kindness?

"You look half starved," Cinderella closed his hand around the bread, gazing up at him with wide blue eyes.

"Besides, you and your friend eyed it so hungrily, and you're dressed in rags! Honestly, I wish I had more to give you!"

"You could do us a favor," Leon suggested, his deep voice rumbling through his chest.

"Have you seen a glass bottle or a boy named Sora?"

Cinderella's eyes darkened as she focused, a finger tapping her chin lightly. The gesture reminded Riku so much of Kairi that he tensed, nearly crushing Leon in his sudden embrace.

"I can't say I have, but the name Sora sounds so familiar, I just can't place it!"

Riku tensed slightly, perhaps she would remember? Another wave of guilt passed over him, and he bit his lip. She deserved her memories. After all, she was a sweet, pure hearted individual, and he…

Well he was a misguided teenage boy with a dangerous alter ego feeding off the darkness in his heart, waiting for him to weaken so that he might once again take over.

She deserved everything, and he was lucky if he deserved a spot in Hell.

………………

"I brought you a present," the cloaked man told the woman, holding out a small lion plushie.

"Don't you like it?" He smiled as she tightened her grip on her legs, curling into a smaller ball to try and ignore him.

In the background Sora slept, hanging from his bonds.

Suddenly, a scythe shot out from underneath the woman's cloak, and the head of the lion fell to the floor, large, glass eyes peering up at her.

"Unless you have a new mission for me, leave me alone," she told him, getting to her feet and walking over to the keyblade bearer's cage.

"Now now, that's no way to treat your master." The man's hands squeezed the stuffed lion, a small amount of fluff falling from it's headless corpse, floating gently to the stone floor.

"Sorry," she replied, slipping back down against the cold bars and folding her legs underneath her.

"That's better," he told her, his footsteps echoing as he walked away. "And just remember to keep using those powers of yours for just me."

She turned her head away, resting it on the metal behind her.

"What would I use it on? The only thing I want is the only thing I can't have?"

The man didn't seem to hear her. The door to their cage slammed shut loudly, and the woman winced.

The glass eyes of the stuffed lion were the only things to witness the tears dripping from her eyes and splashing on the ground.