Desires of The Hröa

'Nontheless among the Eldar, even in Aman, the desire for marriage was not always fulfilled. Love was not always returned; and more than one may desire one other for spouse'- Morgorth's Ring-'Of The Laws and Customs Of The Eldar'

She came from Arda Marred, no doubt may be made. Mayhap that was why I loved her? She was everything to me, an act of defiance, an escape from the torment of bliss gone to seed, a forbidden pleasure.

Perfect through her imperfection.

They say the Eldar are not swayed by lusts of the Hröa, but Lo! Even unto the Hells of Iron would I travel for one night in her arms.

The maiden knew not of my secret, burning desire, for why would one so young and free and brave, whose joy of this land had reached its zenith desire a tired warrior. Imperfect through perfection.

A living portrait of glory in its waning years.

Yet there was my wife. My goddess and queen of my heart; how could I think to betray one of such sweetness and beauty and wisdom? For was it not her gentle, tender love that carried me through bitter wars with that dark enemy of the world, Melkor Morgorth?

My closest council and light of my life.

So now I reside in the halls of Mandos, though I know my wife is waiting for me. How could I bear to gaze into her all knowing eyes after such a deep betrayal? 'Tis not in the nature of the Firstborn to be untrue to their spouses, or so the wise amongst us say. How could I bear to lay with her, to take her to our marital bed, knowing that I would not be making love to my sweet wife, but imagining a maiden whose yellow hair held the scent of trees and wind and fresh mountain air.

So now I shall wait even unto the ending of the world, consumed with guilt and love and passion unrequited.