Chapter One

Shizune shuffled around Tsunade's office nervously. She was scared as hell. Tsunade had gotten the village's annual budget reports from her council of elders, and she was not pleased. Ever since the war between the Sound, Akatsuki, Sunagakure, and Konoha, there hadn't been enough ninjas left alive to complete the required missions to keep the village afloat. Add that to Tsunade's 'problems' –gambling- and you had a huge issue. Simply put, she was close to being broke because of a large debt she owed to the country of water.

Shizune had spent the afternoon attempting to console her mentor. 'So what if the village collapses in on itself? At least your gambling didn't cause it!' Actually it did. Tsunade only glared at her after that one. 'Hey, Shishou…look on the bright side of things..' Shizune paused to try to find a bright side, 'Hey, wow! You've only drunken twelve bottles of sake today! Maybe we'll have some money left over to buy a few bowls of ramen. Eh heh heh heh.' It could have gone a lot worse.

"Damn it Shizune! I can't pull thirty million yen out of my ass! How the hell am I supposed to raise that much money in two weeks?" Damn sake, damn hot foreign ninja, damn job! She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. She grabbed the tempting sake bottle off of her desk before leaning against it and taking a huge swig.

"We…uuhhhh….we could have a bake sale!" Shizune smiled nervously and Tonton cowered in her arms.

"A BAKE SALE! WE'D HAVE TO GET THE WHOLE WORLD TO BUY OUR MANJU AND MOCHI TO RAISE THIRTY MILLION YEN!" Tsunade sent her a glare and slammed the sake bottle on her desk, not noticing when a book fell off of it. Shizune rushed over to pick it up.

It was the ninja personnel folder. As she picked it up, she flipped through it interestedly. She was having the beginning of a wonderful idea. An idea that might save her –correction, Tsunade's, ass….again.

"Ano, Tsunade-sama, look at all the male shinobi we have." She hoped she would begin to catch her drift. "Wow, they're all so big and strong…look at those muscles!" She was getting rather frustrated – flattering men was not something she did.

"Are you suggesting I sleep with them, get them to pay me….and somehow raise the money?" Shizune slapped her forehead as she felt her eyes starting to twitch.

"No, they all look really fit for work. It's a wonder that most of them don't have girlfriends. I'm sure there are tons of girls that would love to go out with them."

"Now you're saying I should go on a random date with on of them?" Tsunade scoffed, actually that wasn't bad from where she was standing now. "That's a great idea Shizune! Those Hyuugas must have hordes of money piled up somewhere…and the Uchiha kid too….his entire family treasury is just sitting there, he doesn't use it. We'll just convince those two social life-less people t-"

"NO TSUNADE-SAMA!" She calmed down as she got her teacher's attention. "We'll have an auction. We'll sell each of those male ninjas to the highest bidder for one we-"

"I have an idea! We'll sell each of those male ninjas to the highest bidder for one week!" Shizune sweat dropped at Tsunade's apparent idiocy. "They have to do whatever the hell the buyers want and then they pay them a lot of money….we'll say its for charity….we just won't tell them which one." Shizune face-faulted. "Now, we'll just let them all know about their wonderful new mission!"

Tsunade cackled and rubbed her hands together in glee. This was turning out better than she thought it could. If only she knew how wrong she'd be.

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"Hmmmm," Kakashi pulled his nose out of his book as he saw an inconspicuous bird fly overhead. I didn't think we had a meeting until next week. "Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto.." His three pupils stopped weeding his garden and he felt his visible eye crinkle in amusement. They were undoubtedly jounin level at the tender age of sixteen and they had learned the value of teamwork – even if he had force-fed it to them-, in the end, it was fun watching them lose their tempers and snap at each other doing a D-rank mission that hadn't even been assigned to them.

Ah, they had grown indeed. They weren't quite as childish as they had been when they were placed under his care four long years ago. It actually amazed him, they were probably the most battle-experienced team of their age group and they acted like they had yet to graduate form the academy. It was kind of funny really. But he knew he could count of them, trust each of them with his life, and they'd all come through every time.

Naruto was still a loudmouth and resident dobe (to put it in Sasuke's words). He had grown to be over six feet tall with a much deeper voice as well. But, he still had his heart of gold to match his manly exterior. His training under Jiraiya was something that made him a candidate for becoming the Rokudaime. Though his teammates were on the list as well, he, as well as everyone in place to make that decision, knew the choice had been made long ago.

Sasuke had grown as well, shooting up to the same height as Naruto. He was far quieter than the other two, but that wasn't coldness or an attempt to remain aloof, not anymore. He had learned the value of friendship after being repeatedly bashed over the head by Naruto and just about hugged to death by Sakura. He loved them alright, he would just rather be hit by Chouji's meat tank, chopped into tiny pieces by Tenten's katanas, tossed into a sack that Neji and Hinata used for practice with their jyuuken, and then be thrown into the ocean with a Lee's leg weights around his neck than ever admit it.

Sakura was much the same as she had been four years ago. She was only five foot four, but her short pink hair and sparkling green eyes caught many young men's eyes…some perverted old men's eyes too. She had finally gotten the physical strength to match her emotional fortitude. He had always believed that she was the emotional-strength of the cell. The only one without a dysfunctional family, or lack thereof, with solid friendships, and the like she was the base that always brought Sasuke and Naruto home. One more than the other.

"Aha Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto paused to wipe the sweat off his brow. It was twelve o'clock now and it had long ago become unbearably hot. They had started at seven and had yet to cover half of Kakashi's lawn. "You're finally going to teach us that new technique! I knew that if he kept goi-"

"Urusai baka! You didn't want to keep going! You just kept babbling about your stupid ramen all day long!" Sakura glared at him and cracked her knuckles. "Not…another….word." Fucking hell! We're applying to become jounin and we're still weeding gardens. He shall know pain! "One more…only one and you'll need the hospital." She stood upright and pulled her hair off of her neck. It was still too short to be put up, but it was long enough that it could stick to her neck and irritate her incessantly when it was hot enough. Not-a-good-day.

Kakashi grinned, though he knew they couldn't see it. "We have a meeting at the Hokage's office in ten minutes. Be there on time." With that, he disappeared in a comical cloud of smoke. It would have been a lot more comical if it had not been as hot, as humid, and the mission hadn't been as shitty. At the moment, Kakashi's strangeness was grating on their last nerve.

"Like we'll be late! It's always him wh-" Naruto stopped talking as two fists made contact with his already pained body.

"Urusai dobe." Sasuke smirked, even after all these years…he was still cool and sexy.

"I said NOT ANOTHER WORD BAKA!" Sakura crossed her arms and looked away. She was slightly better at controlling her temper nowadays (Naruto could vouch for that, he wasn't as covered in bruises as he used to be). Sasuke sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Let's just go." Sakura and Naruto stopped their seemingly hourly arguments and proceeded to walk alongside Sasuke. Sakura walked willingly…Naruto not so much, he was still rubbing a goose egg on his head.

"Come on!" Sakura giggled and grabbed each of their hands, "we don't want to be late!" She proceeded to skip along the road quite happily, oblivious to the two brooding males behind her.

"Moody….creepy….dumb…girls…..pms-ing…." Naruto mumbled indistinctly as Sakura pulled him along. Sasuke choose to keep quiet, definitely the wiser move.

Sakura spun around, mid skip, "Did you say something Naruto?" Her voice was too sweet; it was scaring both of them.

"No"

She beamed, "Good! We only have a few minutes left!"

Psychotically moody, thought Sasuke, that's the solution, all women are psychotically moody.

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Kiba was sweating very hard. Damn sunshine. It just had to be one hundred degrees outside today didn't it? Shino, Hinata, and he had been working very hard at clearing the large storage room of some creepy old lady. Since the defeat of Akatsuki and Orochimaru there had been no interesting missions. It was all fucking grunt work, again.

He heard Hinata sigh from behind a rather large box. It couldn't be easy for her, lugging all those large and heavy things around all day. Yah, she was strong (and very dangerous when she got angry), but she was still a rather small girl. Akamaru could probably pick her up and throw her if he really wanted to, which he didn't. He saw Shino move to help her, lifting roughly twice what she had been struggling to very easily. He barked out a laugh but quickly coughed to cover it up. Kiba turned to carry some old stuffed birds to the garbage. Suddenly Kurenai appeared in the middle of the room, holding a mission scroll out to Shino.

"Meeting in ten minutes. Don't be late." With that she disappeared again.

Kiba sweat dropped, "Eh? And the other teams think Kakashi and Gai are weird."

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Chouji was relaxing. It was a rare day where Ino was quiet, Shikamaru was actually working, and Asuma's second hand smoke wasn't causing him to want to strangle his teacher. A rare day indeed. He sighed in pleasure. Today they had been told to assist Izumo and Kotetsu in preparations for a bake sale –yes, a very ninja-esque pastime. They were to make cookies, cakes, sweet things in general. It was heaven for him.

He glanced over at his teammates. Ino had her tongue stuck out as she concentrated on maximizing the number of cookies she could make with the amount of dough she had rolled. It was almost impossible not to laugh. Ino didn't exactly strike anyone as the 'house-wife' type. Then, there was Shikamaru, the resident lazy-ass of Konoha. The brilliant tactician was reduced to rolling cinnamon buns. He was mouthing words under his breath and Chouji knew exactly what he was saying, he could practically hear him inside his head, 'mendokusai' Troublesome indeed.

Ino dropped her cookie cutters and glared at them. "These stupid things are….just…stupid!" She crossed her arms and sighed. "Ne, Shikamaru, why do we have to do this?"

Shikamaru sighed as well. "I don't know Ino. If I did, I likely wouldn't be here." What a waste of time. "Mendokusai." He started to work again, this time sprinkling the cinnamon on his misshapen mounds of dough. He stopped as plaintiff giggling could be heard. "Eh, Chouji? Is that you?" Chouji looked insulted in reply.

"Ino? Why are you laughing? It's not like yours are any better." She stopped and glared once again at her shuriken and kunai cookies. They looked more like broken twigs. "Ano, it's not like Chouji's look any better." She pointed her thumb in his general direction. "Hol-"

There were two piles of perfect looking loaves of bread, buns, and cakes. Cookie dough was in a few bowls, neatly organized along the counter top.

"You should have been a chef Chouji! Why didn't you ever tell us you could cook so well? Next time Okaa-san gets me to cook supper I'll just invite you over instead!" Ino jabbed his ribs playfully.

"Lucky, damn bake sale." Shikamaru kicked the floor half-heartedly. "Why do we even have to do this anyways?"

"I dunno," Ino waved her hand dismissively and resumed rolling and cutting the cookie dough into semi-recognizable shapes. "How does this taste so good," she stuck her finger in the dough, took a bite, "and look, so, so bad."

"Because you can't cook worth a rat's ass." Brillaint Shikamaru, thought Chouji, tell the psychopath of a woman that she can't cook. Good thing there's a maid to clean up the mess .Chouji went back to checking on his bread.

"I'm just gonna let that one go." She glared at him. "And it's your one and only break today." Fucking cookies.

"Oi, Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji." Asuma motioned for them to come over to the corner of the kitchen he had taken over. "There's a meeting in ten minutes. Don't be late." He casually lit another cigarette, and then another as Ino snuffed out the one he had previously lit.

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The walk towards the center of Konoha was relatively uneventful as things go for team ten. Chouji had stepped on Ino's foot, Ino had tried to hit him but she missed and hit Shikamaru instead, he in turn shrugged it off and continued being dragged by Chouji towards the meeting place. Uneventful indeed. As they were walking towards the Hokage's office they met up with some of their old friends.

"Tenten!" Ino ran over to her friend. "What do you think this meeting is – oh hey forehead girl!"

Tenten grinned in amusement. "The attention span of a fly. Almost as bad as that one." She pointed her thumb in the direction of an approaching orange blur.

Neji smirked but that look was soon replaced by a fleeting glance of confusion. What are we doing here?

Needless to say that thought was on everybody's minds.

"Ohayo Hinata-chan!" Naruto positively beamed at her as he ran over. He stopped and sniffed the air. "Uh….Kiba…..did you put on deodorant this morning?" Kiba glared at him. As Naruto was babbling to Hinata about anything and everything under the sun and as Hinata was blushing, the group made their way into the cooler offices of the Hokage.

Kiba trailed behind, dawdling and gaping as he was left behind. He carefully sniffed his armpit. "Ah hell! Akamaru, why didn't you tell me!"

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Ah they all showed up! It was all Tsunade could do to avoid rubbing her fingers together and cackling with glee. The hallelujah chorus was playing in her head, the angels were singing, and most importantly, the village wasn't going to be in debt anymore.

"Ano, Tsunade-sama," Shizune hissed at her as discreetly as she could, considering sixteen elite shinobi were in the room with them. "They want to know about…the mission." She made sure her voice trailed off for the last part.

"Come on Baa-chan, this is getting old, just like you!" Naruto laughed out loud while the others tried to hide their chuckles; Tsunade looked murderous.

"Well then dead last, I guess you get to go first." Tsunade couldn't resist anymore, she cackled.

"Well," the confusion was evident, "what am I doing?"

"Congratulations! You are officially Item Number One at Konoha's first ever 'Annual Boy Toy Auction'!"

Silence, all encompassing silence. Sakura swore she saw some tumbleweed blow by in the background. She glanced at the clock above the desk. And three…two…

"WHAT THE HELL!"

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Author's Note: So, what do you guys think about the new story? It's going to be mainly humour with some drama (of course, it's me lol). I can't wait to hash this out and get it written and on the site. Tell me what you think, ideas, comments, questions, anything! Thanks for reading!