I sit here, watching her tiny chest move up and down as she breathes deeply in her sleep. A little piece of her auburn hair falling onto her face covering the deep blue eyes i know and love. I knew that within 10 minutes they would pop open from her sat. Afternoon catnap and want lunch. Which would probably be a Turkey sandwhich, sliced diagonaly, curly cheetos, and a small glass of apple juice? She had that every Saturday afternoon. It has been like that since her daddy left us. He said he found a new love and didn't want a little baby girl. I got the divorce papers a week later. That was 3 years ago, Abigail was 2. Now 5, Abby doesn't know much about her dad, except he was tall and had brown hair. She didn't really mind, cause 2 years later, a new man came into the picture. We weren't really together, but we both wanted it, and we acted like it sometimes. But mostly, he just helped me with Abby.He helped for awhile, and then left 2 years later. If this kept up, this year, a knew guy would come into the picture, and leave 2 years later. I guess I should get some writing done while Abby sleeps. Kwest wants a knew song for my latest album. I've been working on a song since Tommy left, we started together, for 2 years I've been perfecting it. And its almost finished. "Mommy" a small voice beside me. I hadn't even heard the small pitter-patter of her feet on the hard wood floor from the couch to the recliner were I was sitting. "Can I have lunch now?" "Yea, go sit down on your stool, ill go make it" "Ok!" she ran into the kitchen. I prepared her usual lunch, and gave it to a smiley little girl sitting on a barstool. "Abby, Mommy has to go to work today, so you"re gonna stay w/ Aunt Sadie" "AWWWW, Mommy, you know I don't like it there!" She jumped down from the barstool. "Abby, wear this, Abby, let's go shopping, Abby im lying out, go watch TV." Abby acted these out as she said them in her snottiest voice, I couldn't help but laugh. "Mommy, let me go to work with you!" "Abby, do you remember what happened last time?" "Mommy, I was 4, anyways. Tommy isn't there any more so I can't bug him, remember, he moved to Halifax" "Ok, I'll go call Sadie, you go get a shower, you can come, but no misbehaving." "Uhhhhhh...mommy, I don't know haw to work the bath tub." "Just go upstairs; ill be there in a minute." Abby had just hit a sore spot in my memories, the day Tommy left. As soon as me and Abby both got our showers, we left, Abby dressed in her favorite blue sundress and me in blue jeans and a tee- shirt. We both got into the Yellow Mustang I know own, and left our semi-large house in the dust. it took about 20 minutes to reach G-major, and when we did, we were sorry, there was one particular person there that had hurt both of us by leaving us so many years ago. Abby didn't know he was her dad, but she didn't like the way he treated her mommy. "G' Morning Jude" He said in a mocking Tone. "Morning Jamie, where's Kwest, we need to work" I retorted. "Studio a, and who's this?" He said pointing to Abby. "Your daughter" I replied coldly, "Not that you would no that, considering you left us when she was 2." After that, I walked off towards studio a, a frightened Abby tagging along. I entered the studio, and slammed the door, Abby ran to the couch and seated herself on the far end of it. I walked over to Kwest, tears threatening to fall, but I had to stay strong, for Abby. "I tried to warn you, but you didn't answer your phone" Kwest stated." Forget it, I gotta song to show you" I walked into the booth, and sat down on the stool with my guitar in hand. I began to sing...

"I Hate Myself For Losing You"

I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

You got what you deserved
Hope you're happy now
'Cause everytime I think of her with you
It's killing me
Inside, and
Now I dread each day
Knowing that I can't be saved
From the loneliness
Of living without you
And, oh
I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?

I hate myself for losing you
And oh, I don't know what to do
Not sure that I'll pull through
I wish you knew
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore
No, no

I hate myself for losing you
(I'm seeing it all so clear)
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything you said
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you