Title: Ava
Author: MacGateFan
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Exodus
Disclaimers: Everyone belongs to the WB and others who aren't me
Dedication: This fanfic is dedicated to my sisters, Angela and Fran and my little brother, Tom. I love you guys so much!
Clark laid on the couch in his loft, staring out at the night sky. This had become the nightly ritual since he returned from Metropolis. Since that fateful day he destroyed, not only his family's farm, but the baby inside his Mother.
Everyone thought he had come to terms with what happened, but that was a lie. Clark didn't think he would ever come to terms with any of it. He killed the baby.
He still hadn't visited the small grave his parents had bought. Clark didn't believe he had the right to. Tears sprang to his eyes. He was supposed to protect his little brother or sister! Why had he been so stupid?
After five long minutes berating himself, Clark fell into a fitful sleep...
"I'm over here, silly!"
Clark sat up, looking in every direction for the source of the voice. "Who's there?" he asked.
"Ava," the voice replied, coming into view.
He stared at the girl. She couldn't be more than five years old and had long red hair. Here green eyes are what stood out the most to him. They were just like his Mom's. "Where did you come from?"
"Clark, you should know."
"I should?"
She bounded up the rest of the stairs and stood in front of him. "I'm your sister!" she exclaimed, taking his hand.
Clark pulled away and stood, backing away from her. "That's not possible. I... I..."
"Clark, it wasn't your fault," she replied. "You did what you thought was right. I don't blame you for that. That's not why I'm here. I just... I just wanted to meet you. You're special."
"No, I'm not, Ava."
She nodded. "Uh huh! Mommy and Daddy think so or they wouldn't have taken you in all those years ago."
Tears pooled in Clark's eyes. "Ava, I don't know who I am anymore. I really want to be Clark Kent, but this mess I've gotten myself into as Kal-El... I just don't know how to get through it."
"You will, Clark," Ava said. "But not until you come visit me."
She pulled him to the couch. He sat down and Ava climbed onto his lab. "You have to let me go. You won't be alone. You have Mommy and Daddy. You have Chloe, Lana, and Pete too! They're great friends, Clark!"
"Chloe and Lana aren't very happy with me right now."
"Things will get better, I promise!" she said with a smile.
Clark had to smile back. She was the sweetest little girl he had ever met. "I will visit you, Ava."
Ava squealed and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Clark!"
He hugged her back and kissed her on the cheek. "You're welcome."
He suddenly felt very tired and the next thing he knew, someone was shaking him awake. "Clark, sweetheart, it's time to get up."
He opened his eyes. "Mom!"
"Are you all right?" she asked. Martha had come up to check on her son because he hadn't been in his room all night. She found him sleeping soundly in the loft, but fresh tears were on his face.
"I had the most amazing dream."
She sat next to him, curious. She knew the past few months had been especially hard on her son. And Martha knew he hadn't been sleeping all that well either. "Tell me about it."
Clark took a deep breath knowing how much something like this could affect his Mom. "I don't really understand how it happened or if it was just my imagination, but it felt so real!"
Martha listened intently as Clark relayed his dream. She couldn't contain her shock and the tears poured freely from her eyes. Martha had to smile when Clark mentioned the little girl, her little girl, didn't blame her big brother.
"Ava," Martha whispered.
"You and Dad never did tell me the names you had picked out."
"Jonathan for a boy and Ava for a girl. After my Mom."
"How could I have known that?" Clark asked.
She shook her head. "I don't know, honey. I just don't know."
"I'm going to visit her after school," Clark said, getting up. "I should have visited her the minute I came home. I'm sorry, Mom."
Martha wrapped her arms around her son. "Clark, it's all right. I know you were in a difficult place. Your Father and I love you dearly and knew you would visit her when you were ready. Do want us to meet you there?"
"No," he replied, placing a small kiss on her forehead. "I should do this on my own."
Clark found the small grave near his Dad's parents. He placed a single red rose on the ground. "Ava Grace Kent," he whispered, tracing her name. "I love you, little sis and I will always remember you. Thank you for believing in me."
A warm breeze flowed around him and he could almost feel Ava's arms around his waist. And he could almost hear her whisper, "I love you, Clark."