Regret.

That is the only word to describe the utterly illogical liaison he had gotten himself into.

Every second of the day he regretted it. Hell, every nanosecond.

What the hell was he thinking? She resembled a damn dog.

Yet, there he was…a more than willing participant.

Blame.

Technically this was all Snape's fault. He's the one that had to separate him from his friends and pair him with this Slytherin bitch. As if that wasn't bad enough, it was like she was illiterate. Even he didn't screw up this much in potions. After correcting her countless times, she finally snapped, claiming that she wasn't blind and could read the directions…which he highly doubted by now. He decided to take matters into his own hands and try to salvage the potion as best he could.

This ended up in a battle over the stirring wand…

She attempted to smack him and his retaliation sent her dangling serpent earring into the bubbling substance below.

Their brief eye contact following conveyed the imminent catastrophe.

And that's why they both ended up sitting in detention…for blowing up a good portion of Snape's dungeon classroom.

The punishment? Repairing the wall that had been taken out upon the explosion…without magic.

There they both grudgingly worked together, piecing back stone by stone of the wall. All was going as well as it could until Snape decided to leave the room, trusting his Slytherin student to not do anything remotely unwise in his absence…and to surely make certain that he, the insubordinate Gryffindor, did the same.

And that's when everything went to hell.

Profound.

"You owe me a new pair of earrings," She stated, handing him the next stone.
He rolled his eyes after taking it. "Just get Malfoy to get you some new ones."
"He's not what you think," She said defensively. "Lay off of him for once."
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" He asked, leveling up the stone properly.
"You're too self-absorbed to understand."

They exchanged remarks, degrading each others Houses, quite a natural thing to happen between a Slytherin and a Gryffindor, followed by some personal insults. After a particularly low blow to his masculinity, he called her what everyone he knew referred to her as…a pug-faced slut. This was quickly followed by calling him an orphan.

"So tell me pug-face, what's it like to be the Slytherin whore?" He asked with mock interest.
"What's it like not having any parents, scarhead?" She sneered.
"Fuck off Parkinson, don't you dare talk about my parents."
"Fine, then don't you dare call me a whore because I'm far from it."
"Whatever."
"I'm going to kill Flint for starting that damn rumor..." She mumbled.

Then the unnatural began to happen.

They had found a common bond. A loathing for the same Slytherin.

Pansy Parkinson had some depth to her after all.

Civility.

That's how the cataclysm started. Two people merely trying to be civil to each other.

In actuality, it was the beginning of the annihilation of the senses. The common senses.

So when she was mumbling to herself after leaving Defense Against the Dark Arts about her grades one day, he decided to interject.

"Don't know why you'd need the defense part, Parkinson. After all, you're on the other end of that battle line."
"You try living in a house where dark curses are the punishment." She said irritably.

Looking back on it, he knew he had lost all common sense the moment he offered to help her. Even worse, he knew all brain functioning had been lost when he told her how to get to The Room of Requirement so they could practice.

What a horrendous idea this proved to be.

It was the fifth time he had been to tutor her and she seemed to be steadily improving. In fact, it appeared his job was complete seeing as he had her caught up with everything in class and then some.

"Looks like we won't have to be coming here again." He said, holding the door open for her.
She nodded, making her way towards the door. "Thanks. It meant a lot to me."
He stopped her as she was passing him by putting his hand on her shoulder. "Not a word about this place."
"You have my word."
He arched an eyebrow.
"Well what do you want from me, blood?"
"Breath one syllable and everyone will think you're with Longbottom."
"You're almost as bad as Flint."

Unfortunately, neither of them were moving.

"Why aren't you leaving?" He asked.
"I was waiting for you to leave." She said.
"I'm holding the door open for you…" He motioned to his other hand still holding the door ajar.
"I don't need you holding doors open for me."
"I'm not leaving until you walk out first."
"Well then it looks like you're not leaving."
"Guess not." With that, he let go of the door and it slammed shut.

Stuck in The Room of Requirement due to sheer stubbornness. Yet another common bond discovered. Surely they would leave to go to dinner. Nope. Dinner courtesy of Dobby. When they finally did end up leaving, the invisibility cloak was needed.

In retrospect, he should have just let her walk back by herself.

Nonfunctional as he was, he actually had his arm around her to make sure they were close enough so the cloak covered them both until they ended up in front of the entrance to the Slytherin common room. It was a mutual thing really, they were both leaning towards each other. Just a quick peck on the lips. They both bolted in different directions just as fast it had happened. It was really nothing….

It just unleashed the gates of hell.

Lure.

If that was the bait, he had negligently taken it. He caught himself scanning the Slytherin table in the Great Hall for her the next morning. At least some part of him knew he shouldn't be looking for her. Ron had questioned him about his late arrival the prior night, which he of course lied about. Now he was questioning his absentminded state…except this time he followed his line of vision to the Slytherin table. He just assumed he was glaring at Malfoy, who happened to be sitting right next to her.

He decided the best thing to do would be to ignore her. Yes, everything would go back to normal.

She however ruined that plan when she sat herself next to him in Potions.

Apparently they needed to talk. And as any male with half a brain knows, it's never good when a female wants to talk.

Oh the looks they were receiving.

The completely dumbfounded looks of Ron and Hermione, accompanied by the equally baffled Malfoy and Bulstrode. Snape, however, did not find this seating arrangement amusing and forced the 'volatile duo' as far apart as possible.

This didn't stop her from pursuing him after class.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked as soon as they were out of earshot of everyone.
"I don't know, but this is way too weird for me." He said truthfully.
"Ugh, this is going to drive me mad. Come here." She grabbed his cloak and dragged him around the corner.
"What are you doing?" He asked slightly panicked.
"Getting this out of my system so I can go on with life. Damnit…of all people, why did it have to be Saint Potter?"

So there they were, hidden in the darkness of the shadows having a major snogging session.

Where was Voldemort when you needed him?

After who knows how long, they finally broke.

"Okay. Now that that's been taken care of, there's no need to ever speak of this again." She said, blatantly trying to catch her breath. "By the way…not bad."

That bitch did that on purpose. She had to have known that he would pull her back.

"What are you doing, Potter?"
"I don't even know anymore."

By the time he showed up to Transfiguration, it was over fifteen minutes later.

Covert.

Sneaking around can only work for so long. He knew it, she knew it…but apparently it didn't matter. The sad part about that was most of the time they weren't even messing around, they spent most of the time getting to know each other.

What a fucking awful idea that was.

All she does is complain. Literally. Who the hell would want to put up with that?

His disappearing acts had unfortunately not gone unnoticed. Every chance they got, Ron and Hermione would question him regarding his whereabouts. He even caught them trying to follow him on a few occasions, resulting in him having to abandon those visits with Parkinson…which of course she complained about. He would just remind her of when the same thing happened to her and he was left waiting.

But alas, their stealth tactics had to fail eventually. And fail with flying colors they did.

The hallway where the original snogging session took place had been being utilized by them for the same reason ever since. That was a good three months by now.

Open.

How no one had found them sooner is still a complete mystery.

So there they were, snogging after Potions as usual, when…

"HARRY!"

Son-of-a-bitch.

He pathetically tried to hide Parkinson, shielding her face with his hands that were already there. Hermione stood there, curiosity replaced the initial shock that resided on her face. Parkinson was clutching onto his cloak, her eyes stricken with panic.

Hermione smirked. "So this is what you've been up to. Who's the lucky girl?"

He bit his bottom lip nervously. There was no way out of this and he let his hands drop from Parkinson's face. She turned around slowly. Hermione's expression returned to her initial shock and she started to stutter.

Hermione Granger was stuttering.

"P-pansy?" She finally managed to get out.
"Hermione…" He said tentatively. "Please…"
She nodded weakly and started to back away.

He let out a sigh of relief. He knew Hermione wouldn't say anything. He put his hands on Parkinson's shoulders reassuringly and he felt her relax.

That was until Ron's voice sounded…unnervingly close.

He grabbed Parkinson's hand and began to make a run for it. Figures it would be too late.

"There you are Har-" Ron stopped suddenly. "Why-are-you-holding-her-hand!"
Parkinson shook her hand free from his. "Alright, so you caught us! We've been seeing each other! There! I said!"

Why he felt relieved at that moment, he still does not know. Just another effect of his total loss of rational brain functioning.

Admittance.

What happened in the common room that night was something to put down in the record books. But thanks to Ron, all of Gryffindor house was about to find out his secret he had protected so well.

"For the love of…Parkinson, Harry? What the hell! Have you gone completely mental!" Ron threw his hands up in exasperation. "Come on, you can do so much better than that! Like…like…Ginny for instance! Yes, Ginny! Everyone knows she's had this crush on you for years! It's about time you acted on it! So go on! Go out with my sister, I won't stop you! In fact, I encourage it! Do whatever you want with her, you have my blessing!"

Ginny look absolutely horrified. Ron ran over to her and shoved her over to him.

He shoved her back. "Ron, I don't want your sister!"
"But you want Parkinson!" Ron yelled accusatorily.

All had gone silent. He looked around the room and noticed that everyone was looking at him expectantly.

He sighed. "Yes…"

And with that, he walked out of the common room with all eyes on him. He began walking the all now too familiar path to the Slytherin common room.

If Ron was a good friend, he would have Avada Kedavra-ed him as soon as he had said yes.

Consummation.

By that time the next day, the events that unfolded in the Gryffindor common room were known by all. The expected taunting ensued and he found himself coming to her defense.

At least some people tried to talk some sense into him. But being the daft person that he is, he didn't listen to their absolutely brilliant advice.

Well, at least she was doing the same for him, so he wasn't the only idiot in the relationship.

They were hardly ever seen together since they kept up the same stealth-like routine they had prior. It was really just a lot easier that way.

But then he really lost his mind. He skipped a Hogsmeade trip.

Let's reiterate.

He skipped a Hogsmeade trip.

He did it because ever since she saw the replica of Gryffindor common room in The Room of Requirement, she had wanted to go in the real thing. So, when all the first and second years, and the rest of the non-Hogsmeade stragglers, went to the Great Hall for lunch, that's when they took advantage of the empty common room.

The common room viewing didn't last long and they ended up in his empty dorm room.

If only someone had been there to stop them from desecrating each others bodies…

Now he was in far too deep. The words had just flowed effortlessly out of his mouth in response to hers.

The worst part about it was…they both meant it.

Misfortune.

It really is a tragedy for each of them. They could each be with someone they don't hate so much, yet they don't stray.

Instead they stay put in the intense dissonance that could only be known as their exceptionally fucked up relationship.

He hates her. She hates him.

They make sure to tell each other that on a daily basis.

She loves him. It makes him ill.

He loves her. It makes him sicker.

Harry Potter and Pansy Parkinson…

May one of them regain their sanity soon.